~~everyflavor.
Sep. 6th, 2002 08:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkacan never decide-- do i want to be beautiful, or just lose myself in beauty. do i feel bad that i don't produce things that feel better than orgasms (as far as art), or do i just want to wallow in the endless orgasmic art of others...?
am at lab, consulting. this girl-- comes up, to ask me a question. i'm like, shy and i can't believe i actually talk to people (as far as a "job", if you can call it that)-- all kinds of people-- without even acting like a complete dork. this last girl....
yea.
she leans over the counter. she's blonde, she's slender, she looks like buttercup, and she has huge guileless blue eyes-- and of course, cleavage. she looks me straight in the eye, and says something. like i'm a person. like, a normal person. that she would ever notice. and i mean, ever. i think this a lot. these people would never talk to me. and yet, here they are. acting like i exist-- like i'm normal-- like anything. existing is a kick. oh....yes.
i must sound pathetic, but oh well.
it's not like i want fame. it's not like i want attention, even-- well-- not the kind of attention that being that girl would give me. so... do i want her, or what she has? and what if it's neither. she's just-- a princess. and i always wanted to be something-- a princess, a fool, a knight, a rogue-- something.
being in her presence for like, 3 minutes, made me feel more alive. happier. looking into someone's eyes, and having them be look back-- without any romantic connotation-- just-- it's like, they see you. it's a thrill.
especially if the person who's seeing you is drop-dead gorgeous of course :>
drop dead fred. i liked that movie a lot.
i always had this need-- for years now, anyway-- to be around the brilliance i come in random, small contact with. all those writers-- all those artists-- all the people i find beautiful inside or out.... it's painful knowing they're there, but never having them know you are there, too. hm. well. pointless entry, but hey.
~~
oh...
my...
god...
*dies*
i just thought, "life is just a box of bertie bott's everyflavor beans".
aaaaargh *runs away, screaming, having resurrected*
that is all.
am at lab, consulting. this girl-- comes up, to ask me a question. i'm like, shy and i can't believe i actually talk to people (as far as a "job", if you can call it that)-- all kinds of people-- without even acting like a complete dork. this last girl....
yea.
she leans over the counter. she's blonde, she's slender, she looks like buttercup, and she has huge guileless blue eyes-- and of course, cleavage. she looks me straight in the eye, and says something. like i'm a person. like, a normal person. that she would ever notice. and i mean, ever. i think this a lot. these people would never talk to me. and yet, here they are. acting like i exist-- like i'm normal-- like anything. existing is a kick. oh....yes.
i must sound pathetic, but oh well.
it's not like i want fame. it's not like i want attention, even-- well-- not the kind of attention that being that girl would give me. so... do i want her, or what she has? and what if it's neither. she's just-- a princess. and i always wanted to be something-- a princess, a fool, a knight, a rogue-- something.
being in her presence for like, 3 minutes, made me feel more alive. happier. looking into someone's eyes, and having them be look back-- without any romantic connotation-- just-- it's like, they see you. it's a thrill.
especially if the person who's seeing you is drop-dead gorgeous of course :>
drop dead fred. i liked that movie a lot.
i always had this need-- for years now, anyway-- to be around the brilliance i come in random, small contact with. all those writers-- all those artists-- all the people i find beautiful inside or out.... it's painful knowing they're there, but never having them know you are there, too. hm. well. pointless entry, but hey.
~~
oh...
my...
god...
*dies*
i just thought, "life is just a box of bertie bott's everyflavor beans".
aaaaargh *runs away, screaming, having resurrected*
that is all.
