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epicyclical's recent post, i got to thinking.... about well, ``teenage-boyness". specifically, how very very far away i am from ever even hoping to capture that elusive quality in my own writing. it does depress me, somewhat. i see guys-- in real life-- some of them look like draco, even. and i'm like, oh my god, this creature in front of me does not exist in my head. he's like a sphinx. an intimidating sort of creature, that gives you weird shivers, and makes you think of ice-cream, because it's definitely hot in here, isn't it??
what is he thinking?? how do i know??
i realize that harry & draco aren't exactly "normal"-- then again, no one says the boys i see are "normal" either-- what is normal, after all? but i'm pretty sure that my writing teenage boys is laughable, completely, even in concept, considering my level of experience with such. i didn't even try it before this whole fanfic craze happened-- i went around, happily pondering teenage girls, just my cup of tea, usually, thankyouverymuch. actually, i can't guarrantee those were any more realistic (me? realism??), but. i wasn't as lost-- it was just a matter of polish.
on the other hand, to make it even more complicated, the guys i do know tend to be extremely weird and femme and/or just plain freaks (well, they associate with me, don't they?). so while they don't seem all that "different" from me and/or girls-- well, weird girls-- that doesn't necessarily mean much. i realize i mostly write about overly intelligent, overly observant, overly self-aware, overly funny, overly interesting people. is that bad? no... i mean, what's my purpose in writing? is it to be some sort of journalist? no. but i -would- like to pretend i have some foothold in reality, of course. otherwise it's kind of sad.
jk rowling, let me add, has never given me the impression that she's any better at capturing "normal" boyhood than the rest of us. in fact, i haven't seen female writers, however good, pull that off very well. actually, male writers are ok at girls, sort of, though. but what female writer wrote the equivalent of `catcher in the rye', `lord of the flies', or even `tom sawyer'? not that that last is.... ok forget that last-- in fact, all of the above-- are kind of-- about extraordinary boys and/or situations. same goes for say, `oliver twist'-- yergh. usually, if they do write boys, they seem based on someone-- i'm just guessing. usually in the foreword or dedication or writer's bio it says, "married with three children, all boys", heh. i think if i was the mother of three boys, i'd have some pretty nifty insights, too-- on the other hand, they'd be my children, so-- how normal can they possibly get??
i'm wondering if the het fics in this fandom are any better at capturing normal!harry and draco. whatever that is, 'cause in the books, it's not exactly spelled out. or maybe, in other fandoms-- say-- normal!clark. ergh-- maybe that's why he doesn't do it for me. he is normal, for all his superpowers. i'm not sure i'd read about straight, normal teenage boys-- if they weren't in some way weird and different. and that shoots the normalness to hell. and i mean, they're wizards, remember-- how normal is that? even if they're used to it. even if they're only ever around other wizards. on the other hand-- what about gay, normal, wizards? what the hell is that like?? ha. i'd like to know. or confused-- oops, not so normal if you're confused about your sexuality, even. anyway, i'm just going around in circles.
see, the ``normal" thing is why i don't read many (i'd say any, but i've been seduced by good writing, heh) oliver or percy or marcus or ron-based stories. what's so special about them? why should i care? etc. there's a reason why harry's the protagonist and not ron-- he's Special. he's The Boy Who Lived. he's interesting. normal-- that's everywhere-- and sure it's a mystery (to me anyway), but is it an interesting mystery to solve, or is it more fascinating unsolved, being able to pretend it's more than it is? plus we have no clue what ``normal" wizards in a boarding-school for wizards, who are also `aristocrats' and unusually cruel, would act like. we can guess, but it's kind of funny, because there's probably like, 90% likelihood we'd be wrong. i think. but anyway. that's my rant for today~:)
P.S. ~~tell me if this looks like draco & harry-- and harry's supposed to look "blissful". hmm. but, i'm happy with the hands, at least~:)
P.P.S. ~~sangredulce's H(x)/D(x) = x^3 sec(x) makes me wish love was geometry and passion was elegant as a proof. which is-- i don't know-- not that easy~:) and how do any of you come up with this stuff??! ack, i don't meet all these brilliant people, and yet they apparently exist. like society's secret brilliant avant-garde underbelly. hmm. poetry & prose & numbers. and green antarctic ice. that's important, too. mm. the details always kill me.
epicyclical's recent post, i got to thinking.... about well, ``teenage-boyness". specifically, how very very far away i am from ever even hoping to capture that elusive quality in my own writing. it does depress me, somewhat. i see guys-- in real life-- some of them look like draco, even. and i'm like, oh my god, this creature in front of me does not exist in my head. he's like a sphinx. an intimidating sort of creature, that gives you weird shivers, and makes you think of ice-cream, because it's definitely hot in here, isn't it??what is he thinking?? how do i know??
i realize that harry & draco aren't exactly "normal"-- then again, no one says the boys i see are "normal" either-- what is normal, after all? but i'm pretty sure that my writing teenage boys is laughable, completely, even in concept, considering my level of experience with such. i didn't even try it before this whole fanfic craze happened-- i went around, happily pondering teenage girls, just my cup of tea, usually, thankyouverymuch. actually, i can't guarrantee those were any more realistic (me? realism??), but. i wasn't as lost-- it was just a matter of polish.
on the other hand, to make it even more complicated, the guys i do know tend to be extremely weird and femme and/or just plain freaks (well, they associate with me, don't they?). so while they don't seem all that "different" from me and/or girls-- well, weird girls-- that doesn't necessarily mean much. i realize i mostly write about overly intelligent, overly observant, overly self-aware, overly funny, overly interesting people. is that bad? no... i mean, what's my purpose in writing? is it to be some sort of journalist? no. but i -would- like to pretend i have some foothold in reality, of course. otherwise it's kind of sad.
jk rowling, let me add, has never given me the impression that she's any better at capturing "normal" boyhood than the rest of us. in fact, i haven't seen female writers, however good, pull that off very well. actually, male writers are ok at girls, sort of, though. but what female writer wrote the equivalent of `catcher in the rye', `lord of the flies', or even `tom sawyer'? not that that last is.... ok forget that last-- in fact, all of the above-- are kind of-- about extraordinary boys and/or situations. same goes for say, `oliver twist'-- yergh. usually, if they do write boys, they seem based on someone-- i'm just guessing. usually in the foreword or dedication or writer's bio it says, "married with three children, all boys", heh. i think if i was the mother of three boys, i'd have some pretty nifty insights, too-- on the other hand, they'd be my children, so-- how normal can they possibly get??
i'm wondering if the het fics in this fandom are any better at capturing normal!harry and draco. whatever that is, 'cause in the books, it's not exactly spelled out. or maybe, in other fandoms-- say-- normal!clark. ergh-- maybe that's why he doesn't do it for me. he is normal, for all his superpowers. i'm not sure i'd read about straight, normal teenage boys-- if they weren't in some way weird and different. and that shoots the normalness to hell. and i mean, they're wizards, remember-- how normal is that? even if they're used to it. even if they're only ever around other wizards. on the other hand-- what about gay, normal, wizards? what the hell is that like?? ha. i'd like to know. or confused-- oops, not so normal if you're confused about your sexuality, even. anyway, i'm just going around in circles.
see, the ``normal" thing is why i don't read many (i'd say any, but i've been seduced by good writing, heh) oliver or percy or marcus or ron-based stories. what's so special about them? why should i care? etc. there's a reason why harry's the protagonist and not ron-- he's Special. he's The Boy Who Lived. he's interesting. normal-- that's everywhere-- and sure it's a mystery (to me anyway), but is it an interesting mystery to solve, or is it more fascinating unsolved, being able to pretend it's more than it is? plus we have no clue what ``normal" wizards in a boarding-school for wizards, who are also `aristocrats' and unusually cruel, would act like. we can guess, but it's kind of funny, because there's probably like, 90% likelihood we'd be wrong. i think. but anyway. that's my rant for today~:)
P.S. ~~tell me if this looks like draco & harry-- and harry's supposed to look "blissful". hmm. but, i'm happy with the hands, at least~:)
P.P.S. ~~
sangredulce's H(x)/D(x) = x^3 sec(x) makes me wish love was geometry and passion was elegant as a proof. which is-- i don't know-- not that easy~:) and how do any of you come up with this stuff??! ack, i don't meet all these brilliant people, and yet they apparently exist. like society's secret brilliant avant-garde underbelly. hmm. poetry & prose & numbers. and green antarctic ice. that's important, too. mm. the details always kill me.
