speaking of small owls... or not.
Sep. 5th, 2006 08:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkaA) Man oh man, I love Harlan Ellison <333333333 Can we please save our offense for the people who are actually lamebrained assholes instead of brilliant (if immature/obnoxious/perverted) old men? No? :/ Ahhh, that one's never going to go over well with some people, I know.... Still. I mean, a lapse of proper behavior in public isn't the same thing as being a bad person... god, I really wish I could stop arguing this point :/ :/ (Can you tell why I started out being a Draco Malfoy fan?? No? *snorts* I wonder if the people who become/are Draco fans these days don't think 'obnoxious asshole' is a really good description of him... sometimes I wonder.) But yeah, Harlan is SO the Draco Malfoy of the professional fantasy writers biz :> I bet Draco would grope Hermione's breast if the occasion arose and be like, 'well, she can take it', ahahaha, oh, they're brothers in lamitude <3333
EDIT - Disclaimer: I'm only talking about the personal, psychological ramifications & issues, not trying to imply anything about 'proper' social response or standards.
Well, the kerfuffle's probably 'cause most people value the behavior itself over motivation/subtleties of context... but it's gotten to the point where my mom tells me 'I think you're a good person' and I said, 'why?' So she says it's because I'm honest (and I laughed) and then she clarified 'honest about the things that matter', and I raised an eyebrow. Finally, she said 'you've got a sense of honor-- modified for you', ahaha & that I'm not a mean person. So I was like 'are mean people bad?' and she said yes. This exchange is so funny to me 'cause I had a 'MEAN PEOPLE SUCK' sticker I was very proud of when I was 20 or something; I still think mean people suck, but I also think that since more than half the world's population doesn't know 'mean/truly cruel' from 'harmlessly obnoxious' or even 'impolite'(!!!), I'll just go around defending mean people.... *sigh*
I should really shut up about this topic; I realize how repetitive I am :/ It just really HURTS MY BRAIN that people don't get that impolite/obnoxious != mean evil bastard. This is not advanced ethics, is it? :O
...Although I think the question of 'can a mean person still be a Good person?' is an interesting one. Cruelty/sadism is one of the true... uh... negative qualities that exist, and perhaps the only truly bad quality as far as I'm concerned (though extreme self-centeredness and desire to control/subjugate others tie in), but. I think too many people think verbal obnoxiousness is the same thing (ethically) as the actual biggie (which is wanton cruelty itself). Granted, it's a sign of insensitivity, but there can be a range there, I hope :/
If people are being funny, even if they're not funny at all, by definition they're not in the same ballpark as someone who's just cruel. Secondly, true cruelty depends on knowing who you're being cruel to and how they'll react; a truly cruel person picks on someone they know is vulnerable and sensitive (or submissive/can't fight back/born victim). It's merely an obnoxious/rude/wanky person who picks on someone they consider either tough or an equal, or someone who's not there and will never hear of it. There's also a third type of meanie who picks on people they truly think are mean/bad/wrong (but not 'stupid' or 'ugly', because there's no possible even skewed moral justification there)-- I'd say they're just badass or 'tough', like a vigilante/judge stereotype. (Ahh, Gryffindors, ahahahahah...ha.) Anyway, these three types are seriously different in terms of ethics and the best way to deal with them, I think.
For instance: people have told me that I seem v. sensitive to them & they think of themselves as mean enough (but in control enough) that they -could- say/do things to really hurt me but they don't 'cause we're friends. I'm sorry, but these people don't know me well enough~:) I don't think you can just hurt someone like that if they haven't got the mentality of a victim (ie, caring what people think, unaware of their flaws/issues, unself-confident about their strength or ability to fight back or succeed). I'm not 'out there' as being a toughass, and in fact I'm pretty (sometimes extremely) sensitive about what people say to me, but... I'm also extremely self-aware. There's literally nothing you can do/say to me about myself that 1) I'm unaware of; 2) I don't have faith I can work through eventually, given this exchange doesn't involve violence (well, violence would take a lot longer to deal with, since I'm least confident physically). So just as there are predators, there are victims-- one sort of allows/forms the existence of the other; therefore, not being a victim, it would be very difficult for a predator to gain mental access to me no matter how 'mean' or 'bad' he/she was.
Anyway, people who're just obnoxious and like to mouth off or do jackass-type things for a laugh aren't predators, pure & simple. They're more like hyenas, I guess-- well, there's a range from seagull or crow-type scavengers to hyenas, maybe :D There's a huge difference in nature between a crow and a hawk, say-- though human beings who have power & like to use it are often a lot more mentally unbalanced than hawks. I mean, hawks are a natural part of the ecosystem in which they exist in the same way mice are-- but human beings who have those sorts of dominant/cruel natures tend not to know their place. (Btw, if I had to be a bird of some kind, I'm probably a small owl-- I mean, I could always go for fresh meat, but mostly I don't make a big fuss and go with nice easy insects.) Um. Okay, that was a tangent -.-
~~
B) Man, it is beyond rare these days that I come across something that makes me really feel like an HP fan (in terms of fic or art or whatever)... but the funny thing is, I really am, actually. The last time I felt it before recently was when I saw Platform 9¾ (or the stretch of wall at King's Cross that has part of a trolley attached, whichever). Man, that was ace. Yesterday, I was sort of happy reading JKR's old post-HBP interview (which my deluded brain found slashily inspiring), and then![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
furiosity's 'The Revenant' had an adorable Draco. I wish this sort of 'ooooh, DRACO IS SO CUTE' thing happened to me more often... I remember when I read hackthis & Silvia & had that squeeing gurgle of adoration every time. (Ahahaha, I was so lame I used to read angsty obscure stuff like Jay's 'Disarm' & squee too. Well, okay, I used to squee at everything. :/ What. :/ Um.)
Aaaaanyway, I had a point and here it is: I was looking at the Swedish HP book covers at The Leaky today, and ooooh! *commence sparkly-eyed cooing* I love the OoTP one, but what I REALLY love is the HBP one <3333333333 I AM SO FULL OF TEH HBP!HARRY LOFF <3333333 That Harry is my Harry, wah <3. I wanna cuddle-wuddle him and call him Geooorge... um. So yeah. HBP! LOVE! :> Man, I really wish they sold these as posters... *weepz*
C) I've been on a kick for m/m/f (uh, pr0n) past few days, and woefully I don't like either Hermione/Harry/Draco nor (really) Harry/Ron/Hermione (and things like Sirius/James/Lily or Sirius/Remus/Tonks are actually a squick), so in terms of HP, I'm totally stuck. I sort of want to request Harry/Draco/Ginny on one of those request challenge comms, but I'm pretty sure no one would bother writing it really in character (... if that can even be done, which it probably can't without an epic, and even I don't want to read 300p for porn).
Still, I'm vaguely inspired to write lots of 'normal' boysmex from seeing a bunch of nekkid boy pics ♥. The thing I really like is how many are smiling or being cute & playful. Most pics with girls have this 'artificially slutty' quality to the playfulness... I dunno. Like, the boys are a lot more unself-conscious & 'natural' than most girls of the same age-range I've seen, which is awesome <3. So I had this mental process where 'playful gay boys' naturally progressed to 'playful bi boys', just to up the shameless slut factor, ahahah (plus my Harry remains mostly straight this way) :D
Also, I really like this article saying it makes more sense to separate romantic & sexual bisexuality rather than just saying 'if it's not romantic, it's not bisexual' the way people do. I also like the idea that 80% of guys are bisexual but heteroromantic & homoplatonic, hahaha. It seems to bear out what I've observed, and leaves room for slash-- I mean, they could have tons of very deeply platonic sex, I don't mind!! :D
D) Sometime asked me why I'm so verbose recently. I'm like, "..... GOOD QUESTION". -.-;;
EDIT - Disclaimer: I'm only talking about the personal, psychological ramifications & issues, not trying to imply anything about 'proper' social response or standards.
Well, the kerfuffle's probably 'cause most people value the behavior itself over motivation/subtleties of context... but it's gotten to the point where my mom tells me 'I think you're a good person' and I said, 'why?' So she says it's because I'm honest (and I laughed) and then she clarified 'honest about the things that matter', and I raised an eyebrow. Finally, she said 'you've got a sense of honor-- modified for you', ahaha & that I'm not a mean person. So I was like 'are mean people bad?' and she said yes. This exchange is so funny to me 'cause I had a 'MEAN PEOPLE SUCK' sticker I was very proud of when I was 20 or something; I still think mean people suck, but I also think that since more than half the world's population doesn't know 'mean/truly cruel' from 'harmlessly obnoxious' or even 'impolite'(!!!), I'll just go around defending mean people.... *sigh*
I should really shut up about this topic; I realize how repetitive I am :/ It just really HURTS MY BRAIN that people don't get that impolite/obnoxious != mean evil bastard. This is not advanced ethics, is it? :O
...Although I think the question of 'can a mean person still be a Good person?' is an interesting one. Cruelty/sadism is one of the true... uh... negative qualities that exist, and perhaps the only truly bad quality as far as I'm concerned (though extreme self-centeredness and desire to control/subjugate others tie in), but. I think too many people think verbal obnoxiousness is the same thing (ethically) as the actual biggie (which is wanton cruelty itself). Granted, it's a sign of insensitivity, but there can be a range there, I hope :/
If people are being funny, even if they're not funny at all, by definition they're not in the same ballpark as someone who's just cruel. Secondly, true cruelty depends on knowing who you're being cruel to and how they'll react; a truly cruel person picks on someone they know is vulnerable and sensitive (or submissive/can't fight back/born victim). It's merely an obnoxious/rude/wanky person who picks on someone they consider either tough or an equal, or someone who's not there and will never hear of it. There's also a third type of meanie who picks on people they truly think are mean/bad/wrong (but not 'stupid' or 'ugly', because there's no possible even skewed moral justification there)-- I'd say they're just badass or 'tough', like a vigilante/judge stereotype. (Ahh, Gryffindors, ahahahahah...ha.) Anyway, these three types are seriously different in terms of ethics and the best way to deal with them, I think.
For instance: people have told me that I seem v. sensitive to them & they think of themselves as mean enough (but in control enough) that they -could- say/do things to really hurt me but they don't 'cause we're friends. I'm sorry, but these people don't know me well enough~:) I don't think you can just hurt someone like that if they haven't got the mentality of a victim (ie, caring what people think, unaware of their flaws/issues, unself-confident about their strength or ability to fight back or succeed). I'm not 'out there' as being a toughass, and in fact I'm pretty (sometimes extremely) sensitive about what people say to me, but... I'm also extremely self-aware. There's literally nothing you can do/say to me about myself that 1) I'm unaware of; 2) I don't have faith I can work through eventually, given this exchange doesn't involve violence (well, violence would take a lot longer to deal with, since I'm least confident physically). So just as there are predators, there are victims-- one sort of allows/forms the existence of the other; therefore, not being a victim, it would be very difficult for a predator to gain mental access to me no matter how 'mean' or 'bad' he/she was.
Anyway, people who're just obnoxious and like to mouth off or do jackass-type things for a laugh aren't predators, pure & simple. They're more like hyenas, I guess-- well, there's a range from seagull or crow-type scavengers to hyenas, maybe :D There's a huge difference in nature between a crow and a hawk, say-- though human beings who have power & like to use it are often a lot more mentally unbalanced than hawks. I mean, hawks are a natural part of the ecosystem in which they exist in the same way mice are-- but human beings who have those sorts of dominant/cruel natures tend not to know their place. (Btw, if I had to be a bird of some kind, I'm probably a small owl-- I mean, I could always go for fresh meat, but mostly I don't make a big fuss and go with nice easy insects.) Um. Okay, that was a tangent -.-
~~
B) Man, it is beyond rare these days that I come across something that makes me really feel like an HP fan (in terms of fic or art or whatever)... but the funny thing is, I really am, actually. The last time I felt it before recently was when I saw Platform 9¾ (or the stretch of wall at King's Cross that has part of a trolley attached, whichever). Man, that was ace. Yesterday, I was sort of happy reading JKR's old post-HBP interview (which my deluded brain found slashily inspiring), and then
furiosity's 'The Revenant' had an adorable Draco. I wish this sort of 'ooooh, DRACO IS SO CUTE' thing happened to me more often... I remember when I read hackthis & Silvia & had that squeeing gurgle of adoration every time. (Ahahaha, I was so lame I used to read angsty obscure stuff like Jay's 'Disarm' & squee too. Well, okay, I used to squee at everything. :/ What. :/ Um.)Aaaaanyway, I had a point and here it is: I was looking at the Swedish HP book covers at The Leaky today, and ooooh! *commence sparkly-eyed cooing* I love the OoTP one, but what I REALLY love is the HBP one <3333333333 I AM SO FULL OF TEH HBP!HARRY LOFF <3333333 That Harry is my Harry, wah <3. I wanna cuddle-wuddle him and call him Geooorge... um. So yeah. HBP! LOVE! :> Man, I really wish they sold these as posters... *weepz*
C) I've been on a kick for m/m/f (uh, pr0n) past few days, and woefully I don't like either Hermione/Harry/Draco nor (really) Harry/Ron/Hermione (and things like Sirius/James/Lily or Sirius/Remus/Tonks are actually a squick), so in terms of HP, I'm totally stuck. I sort of want to request Harry/Draco/Ginny on one of those request challenge comms, but I'm pretty sure no one would bother writing it really in character (... if that can even be done, which it probably can't without an epic, and even I don't want to read 300p for porn).
Still, I'm vaguely inspired to write lots of 'normal' boysmex from seeing a bunch of nekkid boy pics ♥. The thing I really like is how many are smiling or being cute & playful. Most pics with girls have this 'artificially slutty' quality to the playfulness... I dunno. Like, the boys are a lot more unself-conscious & 'natural' than most girls of the same age-range I've seen, which is awesome <3. So I had this mental process where 'playful gay boys' naturally progressed to 'playful bi boys', just to up the shameless slut factor, ahahah (plus my Harry remains mostly straight this way) :D
Also, I really like this article saying it makes more sense to separate romantic & sexual bisexuality rather than just saying 'if it's not romantic, it's not bisexual' the way people do. I also like the idea that 80% of guys are bisexual but heteroromantic & homoplatonic, hahaha. It seems to bear out what I've observed, and leaves room for slash-- I mean, they could have tons of very deeply platonic sex, I don't mind!! :D
D) Sometime asked me why I'm so verbose recently. I'm like, "..... GOOD QUESTION". -.-;;
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Re: i wanted to say yes :)
Date: 2006-09-13 05:38 pm (UTC)Re: i wanted to say yes :)
Date: 2006-09-13 05:48 pm (UTC)The next time he saw Potter, it was several weeks into Draco's rather surreal return to Hogwarts. Potter found him; Draco didn't know how Potter did that, because Draco certainly didn't go looking for him. Draco didn't see him during the days, and neither did he want to.
Draco's breath always hitched traitorously when he remembered the last time they'd been alone; not that Potter really did anything. But if Draco admitted that, he'd have to admit the swirling heat in his stomach was more because of what would have let him do, and that was not acceptable. At all.
It would be even more humiliating if he stopped to think how easy it was for Potter to push him inside a broom closet today.
Huffing, Draco pushed Potter back with both arms as far as he could go in the cramped closet, with the scent of sweat turned overpowering as the oxygen dwindled between them. The only light was filtering in through the cracks in the heavy oak door, making Potter look especially threatening-- not that Draco would have admitted that on pain of death.
"What do you think this is?" Draco bit the inside of his lip; he had to think. He simply wasn't going to panic.
"Do you really have to ask?"
"No." Draco sneered. "Now if you'd just move your arm, this conversation could come to a blissful end."
Potter cocked his head, leaning on the arm which remained wedged between Draco and the door. "And what if I don't feel like we're having one yet?"
"One what?" And how he hated that tiny squeak in his voice.
"A conversation," Potter said, his own voice somehow lower and more masculine than a minute ago. Now if only Draco didn't feel like cornered prey, everything would be just fine.
He tried to breathe shallowly, but the gasps kept escaping; Potter was breathing in sharp wheezy huffs too, which wasn't helping. Their foreheads were almost touching now. Just listening to the tiny noises they made together made his cock twitch.They weren't even doing anything and Draco felt dizzy and sick and it was awful.
"N-no!" He twisted away as much as he could, which wasn't very much. Potter seemed to cling like ivy, or something else thicker and harder and just bigger. He couldn't get the room or momentum to knee him in the groin, and besides, Potter was-- Potter was so close....
"I won't stop until you tell me why you're avoiding me. Normally, I wouldn't care, but--" Potter lowered his head until his mouth was a breath away, and they were both gasping loudly. There was no pretending otherwise now, and Draco groaned. He couldn't ignore Potter's dick anymore, poking him almost painfully, hot and hard and utterly awful-- disgusting--
A tiny voice at the back of his mind wanted him to slide to his knees and rub his mouth all over that clothed bulge of Potter's... wondered if he could make him leak and spurt and mess his trousers just from that. This had to stop.
Re: i wanted to say yes :)
Date: 2006-09-13 06:39 pm (UTC)Don't misunderstand me it's not obvious, but I have to say the huffy, no-saying Draco who's all susceptible to Harry's like masculine charm is rather bottomish. XD
I like clingy Harry and I like that he pretends he doesn't care. He totally would, that loser. And Draco would totally take the bait and try to out-uncaring him. It's like those internet fights were both contendents pretend to be so apathetic.
I narcissistically feel that blowjob-fixated Draco is in part my creature. XD