[just to spam you all...]
Nov. 20th, 2005 12:35 amSo... reading recent meta posts that start hearty discussions-- well, more like skimming-- I've realized something about why -I- don't tend to ever start those (well, very rarely). Hm. It's because I don't know how to be provocative enough. I hem and haw and make circular references and argue with myself and confuse people. So I can probably say X and Y and Z sucks and should DIE and like, most people would nod their heads and go '...well, that's Reena for you' and the rest would be like '...better not say anything, she's RABID'. -.- (Which... might be true, I guess.... Er.) I wanted to try and be provocative and daring RIGHT NOW, but failed even in the planning stages. (I feel tempted to just start shouting INFIDELS!!1... but somehow doubt anyone would pay attention).
Sometimes I do think 'oh, it'd be nice if I got that many responses' because I think I'm doing something -wrong-, like not being interesting or clear enough, or not having intelligent enough things to say, or just saying things which are 'duh' and obvious to everyone or just irrelevant and stupid and no one ever tells me. Though it's not like a lot of comments are a sign of something intelligent/relevant having been said, 'cause the things that get the most reaction are usually things that people -already- have a vested interest in and have gone over themselves 5 trillion times. And I'm not really interested in those things (because been there, thought that, bored now.) But sometimes I just... wish I engaged people more-- in a sort of abstract way that doesn't mean I want to -do- anything about it, like with most things in my life.
Okay, I have a story about how I really don't want attention, though: I was on the bus, and it wasn't really crowded but there were no empty two-person seats, and no seats with only one person who looked completely harmless & like they would ignore me. The driver kept saying everyone had to find a seat, so I gave up and left (and he called after me that no, I didn't have to! and I was like 'it's okay'). And found another bus which would take me a little further from home, but fine.
Of course, karma being what it is, that bus was a -lot more- full, so there wasn't even a comfy place to -stand- antisocially in the corner like I like to, but that's fine, crowds are anonymous in their own way. So of course the bus driver knew me (apparently), and suddenly he started yelling for everyone to let the 'lady in the hat' have a seat. He said this several times, and -everyone- was looking at me. There really -were- no seats, you understand-- someone had to sit on someone's lap, because I was a 'regular rider', who apparently 'deserved' a seat. And of course if I said anything, I'd be making -more- of a scene. Finally, someone got up and gave me the window seat and then sat on their boyfriend's lap next to me.
I think all this convinced me I'm really glad I don't make those uber-popular comment-heavy posts anyway; I'd probably freak out and go hide under a (bigger) rock. -.-
PS. Yeah, this post brought to you by me being really bored, not in NYC seeing GoF with my friends, and generally uncomfortable in a small computer lab. But I liked 'Must Love Dogs', though I was constantly conscious (while seeing it in the rec-room in the Student Union) that I consistently laughed louder and more frequently than anyone else. One should really never put me in a dark room where most people are silent and there's something to amuse me: clearly I lose all self-consciousness and become a horrible person who totally doesn't care about attention, because dammit, John Cusack is fucking funny. -.-;;;
Sometimes I do think 'oh, it'd be nice if I got that many responses' because I think I'm doing something -wrong-, like not being interesting or clear enough, or not having intelligent enough things to say, or just saying things which are 'duh' and obvious to everyone or just irrelevant and stupid and no one ever tells me. Though it's not like a lot of comments are a sign of something intelligent/relevant having been said, 'cause the things that get the most reaction are usually things that people -already- have a vested interest in and have gone over themselves 5 trillion times. And I'm not really interested in those things (because been there, thought that, bored now.) But sometimes I just... wish I engaged people more-- in a sort of abstract way that doesn't mean I want to -do- anything about it, like with most things in my life.
Okay, I have a story about how I really don't want attention, though: I was on the bus, and it wasn't really crowded but there were no empty two-person seats, and no seats with only one person who looked completely harmless & like they would ignore me. The driver kept saying everyone had to find a seat, so I gave up and left (and he called after me that no, I didn't have to! and I was like 'it's okay'). And found another bus which would take me a little further from home, but fine.
Of course, karma being what it is, that bus was a -lot more- full, so there wasn't even a comfy place to -stand- antisocially in the corner like I like to, but that's fine, crowds are anonymous in their own way. So of course the bus driver knew me (apparently), and suddenly he started yelling for everyone to let the 'lady in the hat' have a seat. He said this several times, and -everyone- was looking at me. There really -were- no seats, you understand-- someone had to sit on someone's lap, because I was a 'regular rider', who apparently 'deserved' a seat. And of course if I said anything, I'd be making -more- of a scene. Finally, someone got up and gave me the window seat and then sat on their boyfriend's lap next to me.
I think all this convinced me I'm really glad I don't make those uber-popular comment-heavy posts anyway; I'd probably freak out and go hide under a (bigger) rock. -.-
PS. Yeah, this post brought to you by me being really bored, not in NYC seeing GoF with my friends, and generally uncomfortable in a small computer lab. But I liked 'Must Love Dogs', though I was constantly conscious (while seeing it in the rec-room in the Student Union) that I consistently laughed louder and more frequently than anyone else. One should really never put me in a dark room where most people are silent and there's something to amuse me: clearly I lose all self-consciousness and become a horrible person who totally doesn't care about attention, because dammit, John Cusack is fucking funny. -.-;;;
no subject
Date: 2005-11-20 06:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-20 06:32 am (UTC)...And, I figured yeah, the brain-drain has to be bad since you don't even rant about QaF anymore ><;;;
This isn't to imply I feel -my- brain actually works, either-- just earlier today I tried reading this excerpt from a nonlinear science encyclopedia... type... thing, and... no go. -.-;
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Date: 2005-11-20 06:55 am (UTC)Seriously, omg I'm so tired. I've been running around like a chicken without a head for like, seriously too long and also there is this paper and I never get any rest and my brain is GONE, REENA. I've become the world's worst corrospondent because I have no energy to read my flist or answer email. IN SHORT, OMG I NEED TO HIBERNATE.
no subject
Date: 2005-11-20 06:27 pm (UTC)But it's weird because sometimes I'll put up something that's just crossing my mind and people have a lot of things to say, or they just get into an interesting conversation in the comments. Some topics just seem more comment friendly than others. I mean, I rarely get through a whole post without arguing against myself somewhere, but as long as what you're talking about is clear I guess people can jump right in and give an opinion.
Well, really, the whole "how do you get a lot of comments" is one of the eternal questions of lj, isn't it? I was just talking about it with people the other night, actually. What are the kinds of posts that guarantee comments? Sometimes you put up something you think should get a big response and it doesn't--why? Is there just nothing to say? Did you say it all yourself? Do people just not care about that subject? Do they not get what you're talking about? Who knows?
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Date: 2005-11-21 06:01 am (UTC)I can sort of tell what people want, though not with mathematical precision or anything, just observing the consistently popular posters in HP at the moment, say, like... well, there's you(!) and Aja and
I don't think it's -just- about topic when you're talking about consistent success at poster engagement vs-- well, me, who has consistent lack of success but lots of people friend me, and I'm not -ignored- in fandom, so... so I'm doing something right, or maybe just different, or-- that's where I get confused, because I don't know who to compare myself to.
I think the majority of people -would- reply to rants, in that I think you're a little different from the norm in this case because you're not easily emotionally provoked, at least by random assholes online~:) Most people are~:) Generally, there are plenty of people to provoke if I had the will, but obviously I don't. I kvetch all the time, but I guess that's not the same thing, y'know?
Also... uh, wanna see the movie together?? Hahaha I'm probably going to NYC on Thursday and haven't asked Maya or Sara yet, but gotta start somewhere :> Or not that, but. It would nice to talk~:)
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Date: 2005-11-21 05:05 pm (UTC)I'm always happy when I get comments--but I think you're right it's something about writing with a specific topic people probably get straight off, with all the meandering coming back to the same thing. (Sometimes I go back and edit off much of the meandering!). I think it's sort of like...just if you give people one thing that they can think of a response to, they're happy to respond.
I think really you just got to remember the kind of things that you're writing about are more...what's the word? You have to think about them to even start to describe them. It's not like whether Snape is good or bad, or what Hermione was up to in that scene. You have to think about fanfic, and canon, and what people are doing with both, and whether this is the best thing they can be doing. And also you're often talking about trends or stuff that you've read and just sort of describing your impression. If you were talking about a specific story or a scene that people knew they might have a stronger opinion they're jumping in on...? You're just often talking about something that's more nebulous so people maybe don't feel like they can think about it as much themselves. Like if you're talking about canon they've got canon in front of them and in their heads, so they can look at it while they're reading and compare.
You can't compare yourself to anyone--you are definitely one of a kind! That sounds lame--but you know...you just are.
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Date: 2005-11-22 04:36 am (UTC)Ahaha, I do feel I haven't discussed Snape nearly enough, but at the same time I'm usually only inspired to write that sort of thing in response to other people's meta or fics, and since both those things make me vaguely ill in HP fandom these days, it's hard, man~:)) I only contemplate going out to look at what people are saying on the daily_snitch and grimace. But yeah, I was definitely missing 'clear' from my thing about 'provocative' (though provocative can just mean 'provoking a response', like something that -tugs- at you). I think the key is probably to write -to- other people (addressing them) rather than -around- other people (which is what I do).
Though I do so wish people would ramble back at me in a sort of mutualistic wankery of sorts, but I guess only friends do that sometimes :>
Also, I feel I must mention to you directly that you Draco poll answer ROCKED MY SOCKS, omg. YES. Just when I think I hate fandom (more), suddenly I'm all 'yeay' again~:))
no subject
Date: 2005-11-21 04:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-21 11:56 pm (UTC)Just tell me when/where at that point and poof!
...And I er, haven't seen the movie yet ^^;;