[rambling on about nothing as usual.]

[reenka]

You know, before I spent too long in fandom, I had squicks. Now I just have preferences and a whole lot of pet-peeves, where it's just that you'd have to work harder to please me if I've a peeve about it. Like, y'know, I remember in the good old days, where Kirk/Spock sex pretty much squicked me, even if I liked the idea of the pairing a lot; I couldn't get over my adolescent vision of them. I remember when Ron/Draco and Snape/Draco and even Harry/Hermione seemed Deeply Wrong... and now I just don't prefer them. I remember when H/D was the alpha and omega of my fannish universe and I had all these ideas about how it 'should' and 'shouldn't' be done (and okay, I still have those), but I've become quite lax about thumping my chest and hyperventilating, alas.

Anyway, I meant to talk about a specific comment in this Wincest squick post, but it also made me think a bit, 'cause yeah, the sheer prevalence of that reading of a show's canon bothers me a bit-- though that's my 'canon, bitches!' thing, not any anti-incest squick, exactly; actually, I don't think I've ever had a 'traditional' squick in the sense that it's based on my real-life beliefs (I mean, I tend to like characters in fiction I'd probably clobber in real life, for a start). Like, if it's well-written, anything challenging or transgressive can only make the story more interesting, as far as I'm concerned; for examples, look to the many instances of incest in classic literature and also some of the best genre lit of today (okay, mainly Song of Ice and Fire). I cannot imagine seriously reading something good and then stopping and going, 'but this is WRONG, HOW COULD THIS BE??! NOOOoooo'. If I really felt like that, I mean, I wouldn't have graduated from books for toddlers, because isn't there always something unpleasant and 'wrong' and unfair even in (good and/or classic) children's books?

    (Btw, this is where some of my friends woujd just say I'm not a critical enough reader, so I clearly suck. Hehe. Because yeah, while I was careful to say 'well-written' and 'good' stories, the truth is I also suspend a lot of judgment/personal issues/disbelief when reading stuff I just... like a lot for whatever reason. I wouldn't call it a 'kink'; like, I don't have a 'kink' for HP canon, y'know? Most of the time the only reason I'm critical is when I either really love something or really hate it, usually because of aesthetic/story-construction reasons. This mostly applies to stuff that's really bad. How do I explain it. It applies to purple-prosey fantasy books with ass-stupid names & the majority of post-OoTP fanfic I read, hahaha; it very rarely applies to content, in other words, and only to execution-- the big exception being OOCness in fic and stuff I find relentlessly bleak. Because I'm a huge romantic dork. But I try to keep that under control. :P So yeah, it's a personality issue, basically, and one I can't really do anything about, so nyah.)


In any case, I'm veeeery touchy about actually projecting slashiness on any canon... and in fact I can't think of any where I would do so with all honesty. There's liminal cases like Star Trek, The Sentinel and Gundam Wing, but I wouldn't go so far as to explain anything that happened with the characters through that lens. It's just subtext, take it or leave it.

Aaanyway. It's funny because I have the exact opposite reaction-- usually if something squicks me in text/theory, it squicks me less in a visual representation, because I'm more of an aesthete-- I always look at art as an 'art piece' first and a 'statement' second; in other words, I can easily disengage any moral/ethical/other biases and just enjoy the pretty because pretty is what matters with visual media to me. This is why I have no hard pairing preference with fanart, for instance, and why I tolerate and enjoy extreme cheesiness in fanvids of the sort that'd make me run screaming from a fic.
    Coincidentally, it's also why the 6A/LJ wank sticks in my craw like mad. It's really the art-critique aspect that drives me mad, the double-standard where fanfic is okay but fanart isn't-- fanart needs to be judged by outsiders who don't have the first clue what they're looking at. That just drives me mad. Visual art just... the idea of judging it in such pedestrian terms without even realizing that's what you're doing-- it makes my blood boil.

Regardless, I meant to just quote harriet_spy's comment:
    To be honest, there's no way you can take a dynamic that hinges even a little bit on transgressiveness, have ten thousand squeeing fangirls stampede over it, and have anything left but flatness.

I just thought that was really... very true. And it really applies to some of my favorite pairings (*cough!*) rather than just Wincest. It's not that I hate fluff... it's that I'm just so bored & frustrated by the sheer glut of narratives that make the transgressive and raw as acceptable and 'easy' as possible. Actually, the reason I wouldn't ship Wincest is probably because you can't reasonably expect it to be remotely healthy or resolvable in any positive way-- and I'm still a romantic. It's kinda figures that the incest is intinsically everyone's problem, but yeah. This definitely reminds of the sheer flatness I felt before I stopped reading H/D altogether; this sense that the pairing has become... completely predictable and 'easy' (in fandom, not in canon). I can't really think of a transgressive pairing that actually consistently captured its own problematic areas... which is why I'm really way too wary to read S/L, but oh well.

Comments

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

This isn't counting the 55 snippets in the 'recycle' folder and the 20 in the 'to finish' folder alfjkslakfjsas I couldn't bear to delete all that, since I don't even remember what half of it is about :)) Oh man, polyjuice!fic *__* I think my Death Eater!Draco should count more bricks :D :D

So what is this really not-so-special fic about, anyway? :-?

Aaaand.... More spam I'd forgotten existed:
"I'm not gay," Sirius announced, waving about his fork. "I'm just thoughtful."

Remus choked on his chicken-leg while James nodded absently, asking him if he'd bothered taking notes ealier during Charms, while Peter looked interested. "Really?" he said. "That is-- er-- fascinating."

"What I meant to say is that it's normal to be confused. It'll pass. By lunchtime." He leveled what was probably meant to be a forbidding look at James, who was barely paying attention as it was. "And not a cheeky word about me having lost the plot long ago, either."

"Whuh--?" Peter looked confused enough for all of them.

"Obviously, we all have-- urges-- sometimes. Because we're men. And men-- well." He looked at Remus for a second, almost as if expecting help. Remus shrugged. "You know what I mean, don't you, mate?" There was a beat during which everyone was silent (though Remus thought James was two seconds away from snickering meanly.) "Help me out here!"

Remus coughed. Time for a strategic retreat. "If you'll excuse me, I need to-- fetch my textbook," he muttered, ears burning only slightly.

"But you haven't finished your spotted dick," James called after him as he weaved his way towards the doors, and then there was a thump and a bang and muffled pleas for mercy. It was barely nine o'clock, and Remus sighed, thinking he needed a stiff drink already.

&

Draco Malfoy had one weakness he was honest with himself about, one he secretly indulged every evening. His morning packages from Narcissa made sure the younger Malfoy never had to do without. The packages were inconspicuously wrapped in opaque crisp white paper, embossed with the family seal. No one thought to question him. Still, even through the careful wrapping, the aroma found its way to Draco's discreetly sniffing nostrils, at which point he'd close his eyes briefly and exhale, feeling pleasantly awake, and slightly buzzed.

Everyone knew his fondness for potions, and for taking his homework a tad too seriously, but what no one suspected that the Dark Arts weapons and various restoratives and variations on hair bleach weren't all he brewed. Off to the side, in its own little corner in his own room (being a Prefect had its priviledges, certainly, as well as being a Malfoy), was the strange Muggle contraption that he was almost certain anyone visiting him wouldn't recognize. It wasn't anything so blatant and passe as a coffee-maker, and indeed Draco would've been indignant if you'd suggested he was in possession of such a thing. No, it was an old coffee-pot, black with age, heavy with an age-worn combination of iron and lead. He would sip from it gently as he worked on something or other (a new challenge by Snape that week, perhaps, or a subtle plot to once again turn Potter's owl into an eel). He liked the bitter taste saturating his tongue, the way it mixed with bile for hours to come, the way it knocked its way into his temples and pounded there, making his fingers move a little faster, making him have to work a little at his practiced drawl.

He especially enjoyed enchanting his coffee to look like weak, pale tea, smelling of chamomile and mint, and taking it with him in a magically-warmed mug in the mornings, to breakfast. It was something of a joke among the other seventh-year Slytherins at his table that he employed soporifics to start off his day.

"Nerves, Malfoy?" Blaise would say, smirking.

"Old age, Zabini, old age," he'd say, smirking back.

[amalin.livejournal.com]

OWLS TO EELS = AWESOME

It's Men Who had Mothers and like. I cannot explain how I feel about this fic. It's clumsy and not what I want and yet I see all this potential in it? God, fics where Harry or Draco care deeply about issues that the author probably does but nowhere in J. K. Rowling's text is it ever mentioned make me laugh but sort of happy. Like Olympia's Draco who really cared about the environment. Anyway.

MWPP <3 are you following seventynine yet?! Xeno just mentioned Molly's amphetamine filled breastmilk! The Carrows are seriously SCARY.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Draco wore his mother's wedding dress underneath his robes on Sundays because it was beautiful, and if he didn't wear it, no one else ever would.

halskjfalskjflakjf HAHAHHAHAlfkjaslfkjaslkjfas;ljk WHY GOD WHY Lkjsfalj I think reading H/D fics is sort of a gama about who could do better at turning me off Draco and make me think I want nothing to do with him ever :)) Like, 'who is this person & why did I like him, again?' *facepalm* But I remembered that I -have- read fics, they were just always badfics I never expeced to like but read for porn or morbid curiosity, and of course never needed to discuss or feedback and could forget all about as soon as I was done. Well, the point is that I happily forgot them all :))

I keep... meaning for follow seventynine. It'd be a lot easier to decide to follow one or two ljs; I've never followed a whole game before and it's sort of a lot to keep up with. heh. Amphetamine-filled breastmilk sounds promising!!

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

"It's energy efficient," Harry added coaxingly.


T_______T

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

"The English version?" Draco clarified. "Not the version written in Klingon."

WHY T_____T

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

"I shall," Draco said, with what he hoped was a straight face. "I'll just have a go at my ribbon collection, put on my posh frock and cling on your arm like a simpering sycophantic tart."

This is cute, though :)) I miss Brighton :))

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

They apparated to the Magicabrio dealership in wizarding Essex ("Energy conservation, Harry. Better yet, why don't we walk there to save magical energy?")

I take it you mean stuff like this :> It's just. It's just. *flops over* Hermione, maybe, Luna, maybe, BUT WHY DRACO, WHYYyyyyyflsjklkajflkaj It's like Ron saying it. Except Ron actually might to please Hermione, haha. It's like... it's like... T___T The potential that's there involves totally different characters, or something. And minus the wedding dress. And um.... do you notice how fanon!Draco has become this bland posh-yet-flaming random gay bloke who happens to randomly be Harry's boyfriend and also be sort of blandly sympathetic yet trying to be droll? It's not even that he's icy, it's like... it's like no one even bothers anymore. It's like this slave!Draco fic Shaggy told me about where Draco's Harry's slave and for the first 10 chapters he doesn't remember their former relationship at all. I generally feel like every Draco I come across is some variation of 'mindless automaton programmed to flounce' ^^;;;

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

...As usual, I kind of like it when it comes time to get naked ljaksfsjakfasjsj I HAVE NO STANDARDS AT ALL CLEARLY. It seems to have a weird sort of H/D dynamic, in any case. I mean, besides it being ridiculous (both of them helplessly yearning for years? hehe and not figuring it out with all that time spent together while being flamingly gay)... there is something. It's got emotion in it, anyway, maybe that's it. :-?

[amalin.livejournal.com]

LDKJFS I meant Harry being vegan and all about the environment and lfkjds hahaha these endless comments are great, I love that you read this fic immediately but not Maya's :)))))

I think I just like it because they're both sort of messed up but they get it, and even though the world isn't okay, sometimes it is, and the whole bit about knowing what you're saving and men who had mothers (EXCEPT NOT REPEATED SIX THOUSAND TIMES). I dunno I can't explain it. But also the sex was hot.

LDKFSJ that's what I mean about awful and ridiculous though, it's like I have this helpless urge to beta, I don't know! I really like a couple lines though, which I guess is what keeps hooking me and I forget about the rest :-?

I hate fanon!Draco, you know this. The closest I come is Maya's just because Maya's Draco is really - strong. And like, passionate, and somehow believable even though he isn't. Haha, I know, he's never icy, he's just snarky and irresistible. BARF.

You don't have to follow all kinds of journals! All you have to do is read one person's friends' page! It is so simple! Follow seventynine!

:(( ilu btw.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

:(( ilu2. You make me cheesier than I'd have previously believed I could be in public :> But then we always knew my low threshold, so that's not here or there. ANYWAY. 'Tis true the sex was hot. :-? Whimpery desperation = always good, the fact that they 'oh no, couldn't' because OF HIS MOTHER'S DRESS = ...notsogood :)) Well, I guess Harry had already come so he could be reasonable. *snort*

But yeah, I can't picture vegan!progressive!Harry. ><;; She should give up and make the fic Draco/Hermione instead, hahah THAT WOULD BE HILARIOUS :D I actually didn't read it, I skimmed it; that's why I jump at the 'iffy' fics-- no pressure to read or react, just shits and giggles, that sort of thing. If you say it's really hilariously bad, I'd be there in a thrice :> Mocking makes my heart the gladder. or something. :-? I could never beta for people whose writing has really awful & OOC bits. My critique would be: step 1 = READ CANON. step 2 = READ IT AGAIN, SLOWER THIS TIME. :> step 3: Now try writing that Draco. Not so easy, eh? :>

I know what you mean about Maya's Draco being believable even when he's not; that's why I used to like Ivy's and early Aja's writing, too. Even Cassie Claire's Draco had a similar quality, though it wasn't enough to make me brave all that het :)) The passionate thing, definitely. My problem, if I had one, would be more with Maya's utterly smitten Harry :>

lakfsjkljsaljk you are coming really close to making me give in about reading all this stuff... sort of like a kitten scratching at my sleeve and I pretend I'm so aloof and self-possessed & the captain of my destiny, etcetc. :))

[amalin.livejournal.com]

I think my thing with Maya's Draco is that he always has - I don't know, a lot of belief in himself? Or like. I don't know, is always a lot MORE than I remember Draco being, and it surprises me, and I like it, even while I am going, "Coffee, really?"

Haha, I do not want to make you read anything, it is okay if you don't, EXCEPT SEVENTYNINE. Well, and I think you should read Breed's fic, but that is just because . . . it's Breed's fic.

Draco/Hermione hurts me, the very words kind of hurt, fdjkjs. It is almost as bad as D/G. The only Draco het pairing I can bear is Draco/Pansy, I think.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

You know, I just don't -get- Draco/Hermione, like. How it's supposed to work. Draco/Pansy bothers me because it's so often sold as 'Slytherins stick together' and Draco-comfort and 'this is what Draco REALLY wants', which just makes me tetchy. Draco/Ginny is just so transparently adolescent it makes me nostalgic, a bit, though also cringe. But Draco/Hermione... I just can't see it. But I mean, if you want a vegan modern progressive type with Draco, the alternative is Luna ^^;;; Poor Harry has his limits; quite a number of them :))

I felt kind of bad for skipping Breed's fic. I mean, it sort of proved to me how far from fandom I've gotten. I mean, if you don't read H/D by her, what can you read? Y'know? haha. My apathy, it is strong :> I -am- attracted to seventynine, though, so... :-?

Maya's Draco has a way of being convincing and 'real', like a very real person, y'know, and I can actually tolerate him with Pansy (somewhat). If only Harry wasn't so infatuated all the time :)) I think that's what makes me so sad about all these sad lifeless and floppy fanon!Dracos who flounce and are So Very Gay and snark but not in a funny way and are just genereally boring. Most of all, I want to feel the writer's character-love, or else why are they writing the character? What do they love about this floppy swishy posh person? Why does it really MATTER if he's with Harry or not? I mean, at least Maya's Draco is so cool yet dorky and human, I feel Harry's got himself a catch :)) With these Dracos, I think in a few years Harry will have a headache, honey :>

[amalin.livejournal.com]

I hate flouncy floppy obviously gay Draco, it makes me want to sob. I also have absolutely no idea why Harry would be attracted to him. But yeah, there is rarely any substance behind them, whereas Maya's Draco is all substance, he's always got more layers and more intensity than I ever expect.

seventynine kdjs there are white peacocks galore and one-sided Lockhart/Regulus and they get sloshed before/after every Order meeting and Snape keeps commenting all sour and hopeful on Lily's posts and Frank Longbottom is made of awesome, as is the Ministry contingent of Ted Tonks and Bones and Alice Statham!, ldkjfs plus MWPP which is not even what's doing it for me right now but I know that's what you like :D :D