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reenkaI'm procrastinating & so apt to think of pointless/mindless things... so when I saw a Ron/Luna icon and started trying to prove to myself why it'd never happen, I suddenly cheered up realizing that most pairings I like [-and- dislike] in HP are ridiculously unlikely. I've really no ground to stand on [though neither do they], and somehow that makes me happy. (I know, I know, I'm a freak.) It's so easy to get carried away railing about how some pairing is omg-so-not-gonna-work until you realize, hey, you LIKE that sort of thing :))
My only wish is that people actually realized they liked really-fucking-unlikely pairings rather than claiming it was about to happen if not for that pesky canon. ^^;
Anyway. I had fun writing a list of all the pairings I have any strong opinion about, positive or negative, whether actually canon or fanon. I gave them all likelihood fractions from 1-10 [where 0 = NOT IN A ZILLION YEARS and 10 = WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST FUCK WHEN THEY WERE 11? THEY OBVIOUSLY WANTED TO!]. I enjoy putting down pairings, especially when I ship them myself, ahahahah. Basically, I tried bashing every pairing as much as possible [while still being reasonable]. Whee. Yeah, I know I've got a messed up idea of 'fun'. :/
Harry/Draco: 1/10 - ahahaha you have GOT to be kidding. I don't think this pairing even deserves a sneeze on the plausibility scale. I honestly think that the very idea would generate either nausea or a sudden fit of laughter in either of the characters. Of course... that's why I like it. ^^; And I also think there might be a hard-on involved if you're talking a dream or a drunk moment of honesty or whatever, but who follows through on THOSE?? I didn't give it a zero because I think Harry/Filch is more unlikely. Imagine that annoying, frustrating, horrible little toad who teased you in school & seemed to have all the money and an uppity attitude that got under your skin till you wanted to strangle him-- and then imagine that your biggest progress in six years was realizing he's actually human. From this to hot-sexy-lovin'... well.
Harry/Snape: 0/10 - this is actually right up there with Harry/Filch, actually even though I theoretically like it quite a bit more than H/F. Think of the most annoying, disgusting-looking, strict teacher you had in school-- you know, the one who always picked on you and made your life hell & you hated him-- and then imagine you think he's pretty much EVIL and you think he's killed your favorite professor, give or take. NOW tell me you could see yourself ever touching him or going so far as shaking his hand without repressing a shudder, ahaha. [Snape himself reads pretty asexual to me, so we won't even go into the way he views Harry, except to say he's probably one of those people who needs to respect the intelligence/competence of whoever he sleeps with.]
Sirius/Snape: -1/10 - this pairing seriously needs the negative, considering how likely it is they'd start to spontaneously strangle each other even if/when they somehow got into bed together. I imagine now that James is dead & given you're talking before the end of OoTP, there's literally no person in the world Snape hates more than Sirius. Snape, it need not be said, seems to have quite the talent for brewing in his hatred, so the odds of him 'getting over it' to pretty much -any- degree... are literally in the negative. Sirius would just laugh. And laugh. And then fall off the chair [and imagine this when he was in Hogwarts & thought he was All That... yeah, like he'd touch the Greasy Ugly One with a ten-foot pole].
Snape/Remus: 3/10 - the 3 I gave it may seem impressive before you realize it's only two steps up from H/D and 3 from being even remotely plausible (since I think 6 is the minimum for 'likely'). I think there are some circumstances under which it could happen for a very short period of time. People have a tendency to overestimate Remus' intimacy issues & barriers [meaning, he even put off Tonks, forget Snape] and overestimate his 'niceness', patience and willingness to compromise, forgetting that he only does that with really close friends [and to some extent students]. They're both way too damaged post-PoA and it's just too ridiculous to consider in Marauder-era considering where Remus' loyalties very clearly lay.
Sirius/Remus: 5/10 - Unlikely, but nothing is actively going against it except for the whole mistrusting each other post-Hogwarts thing (which is quite a lot) & it's nearly finished off by the fact that Sirius seems totally fixated on James to quite an extreme degree. However, there are loopholes-- like them being friends & spending lots of time together anyway, James having Lily to take him away, and Sirius just sort of being compatible with Remus in my oh-so-humble opinion. Plus there's the post-PoA period where they just had each other [since Sirius couldn't actually be with Harry as much as he'd have liked, plus they lived together again.]
Ron/Hermione: 6/10 - this is a somewhat stereotypically volatile situation, where they actually do seem to like each other & work well together underneath the teasing and antagonism. I think it would be quite easy for them to fall apart under the right circumstances & they'd have to really work if they make their relationship romantic, plus there's so many issues [and by 'issues' I mean Ron] preventing it that it would take awhile before something snapped in Ron's head and they actually got together. They have the tension-- the basic prerequisite of juvenile 'liking'-- but everything else seems like an uphill battle, considering how different they are and how little Ron gets Hermione on an emotional level. In some ways, the only reason I say this is at all likely [but not H/D] is because Ron & Hermione have all this enforced interaction & many bonding experiences during their formative years, which made them -have- to find some balance.
[Of course you could force anyone together through circumstance & thusly increase their chances of getting it on, yeah, though with some couples time is just... necessary, or their mutually-repellent force supersedes the attractive force between them.]
Harry/Hermione: 2/10 - they just don't like each other 'that way' and they had plenty of time for it to have clicked if it was going to. Hermione mothers/henpecks Harry much moreso than Ron... or rather, Ron is much more used to it & knows how to deal whereas Harry just resists & doesn't find it fun [since he does value 'fun' with Ron and Ginny]. He thinks Hermione is serious & competent and... well, a bit annoying, but not in the way Ron thinks she's annoying-- 'cause Ron gets mad, Harry just gets tired. Hermione, on the other hand, loves & admires Harry but it's very much on an even keel. What would get them together?? Well, maybe if Ron died & they tried to comfort each other or something.
Ron/Luna: 1/10 - this is just ridiculous. Seriously. RIDICULOUS. Talk about pairing apples with I dunno... potatoes. Thinking about this, I can actually come up with things Ron & -Hermione- have more in common in terms of a shared language. Ron actually does think in terms of strategy [like chess] and they have complementary skills in terms of doing things together. Luna's just... okay, she doesn't dislike Quidditch, for instance, but I think there'd be more hope if she did, 'cause she actually just doesn't get it. I mean. Even if it happened, it would be a disaster [a quickly-finished disaster]. I seriously don't even know how to explain this to people-- no, you can't pair Luna with a 'normal' bloke. NO. I mean, I could see Luna/Snape first [whether or not she 'likes' Ron is irrelevant 'cause it's not as if she'd be the one starting anything].... It's not that there's conflict, because that's hopeful; there's just... confused tolerance. :/ As someone who gets confused tolerance from people all the time, let me tell you it doesn't lend itself to dating a person anymore than 'a drop of pity' with H/D. :/
Harry/Luna: 2/10 - I think I was being too kind by giving it a 3/10 plausibility at first, because while I think there are some ways in which Harry & Luna could find a common... something or other since they have emotional make-up + history stuff a bit in common [a bit!!] and Luna can give him an interesting perspective, blah-blah. Harry doesn't like that sort of introspective 'serious' stuff. He likes to have fun, to have people draw him out & support him in a straightforward way [like Ron or even Hermione]. Luna could be the new Dumbledore. Okay. DUMBLEDORE is her closest potential equivalent in Harry's life.
Harry/Ron: 4/10 - I just don't think it would occur to either of them, but they might try it if it did [as long as it was physical experimentation, because I think if anyone could get Harry to experiment 'for fun', it would be Ron]. I would've given it 5 except I'm talking about something longer than a night of drunken wanking here, generally. If it's more serious than that, then I think they'd both be too much emotional-teaspoony basketcases to navigate the difficulties inherent in figuring out what to do to move from mates to lovers. It's sad, but they both really need someone with a clue about other people, because they're both kinda hopeless. Probably a girl, all things considered :/
James/Sirius: 6/10 - I'd actually give this a 7/10, but the Lily factor makes this extremely unlikely, though possible if you look for loopholes and don't make it too long-term. The biggest obstacle is that they're partners, best mates, even joined at the hip-- which is just as big of an obstacle as being enemies, in a lot of ways. I mean, in a lot of ways, this is decided one way or the other by being able to believe one of the characters is gay and 'after' the other, in which case the other might be game. James is right out, so Sirius... well... he might, just as a lark, but to keep it up past a single drunken encounter would be asking a bit much of him [just like Ron in the teaspoon dept.] There are powerful taboos stopping this, though; plus Lily. LILY, whom James was probably as fixated on as Sirius was on -him-, haha. I'd say 'unrequited' is most likely except that seems somewhat unfair to Sirius.
Draco/Ron: 2/10 - I can see it more than H/D even though I pretty much hate this pairing! Under certain circumstances, Draco and Ron could have the capacity to just do seemingly unlikely things because of extreme circumstances. Plus they do have a common frame of reference, even though they really disagree within that frame; plus, Ron isn't one for personal grudges & Draco might be growing up a bit too. If he doesn't turn into his father, they might actually have something to talk about [and I mean, there's always Quidditch]. Though almost certainly not in any sane/normal circumstances.
Draco/Snape: 3/10 - it would be fucked up & twisted, and more unlikely post-HBP by far, but they have circumstantial issues more than an innate conflict preventing the very possibility. Still, as much as Draco may like workingover with authority figures, the attraction thing is a huge, HUGE stretch. And while Snape might have a weak spot for Draco [he clearly, clearly does have a soft spot of -some- sort in HBP], the protectiveness also makes any involvement squicky/incestuous [for Snape, I mean]. I gave it a 3 'cause fucked up things happen more to people who're already fucked. Or something.
Harry/Ginny: 8/10 - hahaha, I actually find it hilarious that I wound up giving H/G the highest score, but I do think that [regardless of bad characterization choices and/or bad writing, etcetc] as characters they just... fit. Whether or not they're good or 'best' for each other is irrelevant here; what I'm saying is that it's pretty likely for them to have gotten together considering their personalities. However, it's still likely enough that Harry would've passed even though the attraction is there-- he can be self-centered/oblivious like that, and curiosity [like with Cho] doesn't drive him very far. He wouldn't make Ginny a priority, and things could [and did] come up. I mean, they work well enough if you mean whether they'd -want- each other, but they're not really complementary and they hardly -need- each other. It could be lots of other girls for Harry, and as fixated as Ginny is, it has literally been lots of other boys besides Harry even so. They attract each other with a lot of breadth [giving it a high score in terms of likelihood] but without much depth to make it stick.
Remus/Tonks: 4/10 - I think Remus already stated his objections, and I don't think he was 'just saying' that. It's really... really... far-fetched. And what do they have in common/to build on? Remus might give her a chance just because he's too worn down even to fight very much, but at this point he reminds me of a squeezed-dry fruit husk & she would just expect/need tons more from him than he's prepared to give. The very fact that she'd insist and go over the top in her depression before they even had any relationship shows that she has no clue what she's getting into. Still, if they actually got together seriously, Remus would probably not do anything on purpose to drive her away.
~~
PS: I just realized all my fractions/numbers are skewed 'cause I didn't factor in the fact that no slash/homo pairing can be as likely as an equivalent het pairing, since statistically hetero pairings are a lot more likely in general. I just didn't want to keep going into negatives too much, considering my rating for H/D & H/S-- I mean, if I took off 2 or 3 for 'unlikely seeing as PROBABLY NOT GAY' that's what would happen. I just think that's kinda funny, especially considering that I think in canon, both H/G & R/T got like +3 [if not more!] points extra likelihood 'cause they're het & this is the only available girl they 'hung around', not counting Hermione in the former case. :> Though in real life, I hear a lot of 'normal' people really do hook up with whoever's in the vicinity that's remotely attractive, ahahah. Although like, if you hang out together too much, the opposite effect happens & people sort of screen each other out [which is probably why Ginny had to be a bit in the background most of the time, I guess].
Anyway, yeay for gen &![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kasche's Marauders pic ♥ :D
My only wish is that people actually realized they liked really-fucking-unlikely pairings rather than claiming it was about to happen if not for that pesky canon. ^^;
Anyway. I had fun writing a list of all the pairings I have any strong opinion about, positive or negative, whether actually canon or fanon. I gave them all likelihood fractions from 1-10 [where 0 = NOT IN A ZILLION YEARS and 10 = WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST FUCK WHEN THEY WERE 11? THEY OBVIOUSLY WANTED TO!]. I enjoy putting down pairings, especially when I ship them myself, ahahahah. Basically, I tried bashing every pairing as much as possible [while still being reasonable]. Whee. Yeah, I know I've got a messed up idea of 'fun'. :/
Harry/Draco: 1/10 - ahahaha you have GOT to be kidding. I don't think this pairing even deserves a sneeze on the plausibility scale. I honestly think that the very idea would generate either nausea or a sudden fit of laughter in either of the characters. Of course... that's why I like it. ^^; And I also think there might be a hard-on involved if you're talking a dream or a drunk moment of honesty or whatever, but who follows through on THOSE?? I didn't give it a zero because I think Harry/Filch is more unlikely. Imagine that annoying, frustrating, horrible little toad who teased you in school & seemed to have all the money and an uppity attitude that got under your skin till you wanted to strangle him-- and then imagine that your biggest progress in six years was realizing he's actually human. From this to hot-sexy-lovin'... well.
Harry/Snape: 0/10 - this is actually right up there with Harry/Filch, actually even though I theoretically like it quite a bit more than H/F. Think of the most annoying, disgusting-looking, strict teacher you had in school-- you know, the one who always picked on you and made your life hell & you hated him-- and then imagine you think he's pretty much EVIL and you think he's killed your favorite professor, give or take. NOW tell me you could see yourself ever touching him or going so far as shaking his hand without repressing a shudder, ahaha. [Snape himself reads pretty asexual to me, so we won't even go into the way he views Harry, except to say he's probably one of those people who needs to respect the intelligence/competence of whoever he sleeps with.]
Sirius/Snape: -1/10 - this pairing seriously needs the negative, considering how likely it is they'd start to spontaneously strangle each other even if/when they somehow got into bed together. I imagine now that James is dead & given you're talking before the end of OoTP, there's literally no person in the world Snape hates more than Sirius. Snape, it need not be said, seems to have quite the talent for brewing in his hatred, so the odds of him 'getting over it' to pretty much -any- degree... are literally in the negative. Sirius would just laugh. And laugh. And then fall off the chair [and imagine this when he was in Hogwarts & thought he was All That... yeah, like he'd touch the Greasy Ugly One with a ten-foot pole].
Snape/Remus: 3/10 - the 3 I gave it may seem impressive before you realize it's only two steps up from H/D and 3 from being even remotely plausible (since I think 6 is the minimum for 'likely'). I think there are some circumstances under which it could happen for a very short period of time. People have a tendency to overestimate Remus' intimacy issues & barriers [meaning, he even put off Tonks, forget Snape] and overestimate his 'niceness', patience and willingness to compromise, forgetting that he only does that with really close friends [and to some extent students]. They're both way too damaged post-PoA and it's just too ridiculous to consider in Marauder-era considering where Remus' loyalties very clearly lay.
Sirius/Remus: 5/10 - Unlikely, but nothing is actively going against it except for the whole mistrusting each other post-Hogwarts thing (which is quite a lot) & it's nearly finished off by the fact that Sirius seems totally fixated on James to quite an extreme degree. However, there are loopholes-- like them being friends & spending lots of time together anyway, James having Lily to take him away, and Sirius just sort of being compatible with Remus in my oh-so-humble opinion. Plus there's the post-PoA period where they just had each other [since Sirius couldn't actually be with Harry as much as he'd have liked, plus they lived together again.]
Ron/Hermione: 6/10 - this is a somewhat stereotypically volatile situation, where they actually do seem to like each other & work well together underneath the teasing and antagonism. I think it would be quite easy for them to fall apart under the right circumstances & they'd have to really work if they make their relationship romantic, plus there's so many issues [and by 'issues' I mean Ron] preventing it that it would take awhile before something snapped in Ron's head and they actually got together. They have the tension-- the basic prerequisite of juvenile 'liking'-- but everything else seems like an uphill battle, considering how different they are and how little Ron gets Hermione on an emotional level. In some ways, the only reason I say this is at all likely [but not H/D] is because Ron & Hermione have all this enforced interaction & many bonding experiences during their formative years, which made them -have- to find some balance.
[Of course you could force anyone together through circumstance & thusly increase their chances of getting it on, yeah, though with some couples time is just... necessary, or their mutually-repellent force supersedes the attractive force between them.]
Harry/Hermione: 2/10 - they just don't like each other 'that way' and they had plenty of time for it to have clicked if it was going to. Hermione mothers/henpecks Harry much moreso than Ron... or rather, Ron is much more used to it & knows how to deal whereas Harry just resists & doesn't find it fun [since he does value 'fun' with Ron and Ginny]. He thinks Hermione is serious & competent and... well, a bit annoying, but not in the way Ron thinks she's annoying-- 'cause Ron gets mad, Harry just gets tired. Hermione, on the other hand, loves & admires Harry but it's very much on an even keel. What would get them together?? Well, maybe if Ron died & they tried to comfort each other or something.
Ron/Luna: 1/10 - this is just ridiculous. Seriously. RIDICULOUS. Talk about pairing apples with I dunno... potatoes. Thinking about this, I can actually come up with things Ron & -Hermione- have more in common in terms of a shared language. Ron actually does think in terms of strategy [like chess] and they have complementary skills in terms of doing things together. Luna's just... okay, she doesn't dislike Quidditch, for instance, but I think there'd be more hope if she did, 'cause she actually just doesn't get it. I mean. Even if it happened, it would be a disaster [a quickly-finished disaster]. I seriously don't even know how to explain this to people-- no, you can't pair Luna with a 'normal' bloke. NO. I mean, I could see Luna/Snape first [whether or not she 'likes' Ron is irrelevant 'cause it's not as if she'd be the one starting anything].... It's not that there's conflict, because that's hopeful; there's just... confused tolerance. :/ As someone who gets confused tolerance from people all the time, let me tell you it doesn't lend itself to dating a person anymore than 'a drop of pity' with H/D. :/
Harry/Luna: 2/10 - I think I was being too kind by giving it a 3/10 plausibility at first, because while I think there are some ways in which Harry & Luna could find a common... something or other since they have emotional make-up + history stuff a bit in common [a bit!!] and Luna can give him an interesting perspective, blah-blah. Harry doesn't like that sort of introspective 'serious' stuff. He likes to have fun, to have people draw him out & support him in a straightforward way [like Ron or even Hermione]. Luna could be the new Dumbledore. Okay. DUMBLEDORE is her closest potential equivalent in Harry's life.
Harry/Ron: 4/10 - I just don't think it would occur to either of them, but they might try it if it did [as long as it was physical experimentation, because I think if anyone could get Harry to experiment 'for fun', it would be Ron]. I would've given it 5 except I'm talking about something longer than a night of drunken wanking here, generally. If it's more serious than that, then I think they'd both be too much emotional-teaspoony basketcases to navigate the difficulties inherent in figuring out what to do to move from mates to lovers. It's sad, but they both really need someone with a clue about other people, because they're both kinda hopeless. Probably a girl, all things considered :/
James/Sirius: 6/10 - I'd actually give this a 7/10, but the Lily factor makes this extremely unlikely, though possible if you look for loopholes and don't make it too long-term. The biggest obstacle is that they're partners, best mates, even joined at the hip-- which is just as big of an obstacle as being enemies, in a lot of ways. I mean, in a lot of ways, this is decided one way or the other by being able to believe one of the characters is gay and 'after' the other, in which case the other might be game. James is right out, so Sirius... well... he might, just as a lark, but to keep it up past a single drunken encounter would be asking a bit much of him [just like Ron in the teaspoon dept.] There are powerful taboos stopping this, though; plus Lily. LILY, whom James was probably as fixated on as Sirius was on -him-, haha. I'd say 'unrequited' is most likely except that seems somewhat unfair to Sirius.
Draco/Ron: 2/10 - I can see it more than H/D even though I pretty much hate this pairing! Under certain circumstances, Draco and Ron could have the capacity to just do seemingly unlikely things because of extreme circumstances. Plus they do have a common frame of reference, even though they really disagree within that frame; plus, Ron isn't one for personal grudges & Draco might be growing up a bit too. If he doesn't turn into his father, they might actually have something to talk about [and I mean, there's always Quidditch]. Though almost certainly not in any sane/normal circumstances.
Draco/Snape: 3/10 - it would be fucked up & twisted, and more unlikely post-HBP by far, but they have circumstantial issues more than an innate conflict preventing the very possibility. Still, as much as Draco may like working
Harry/Ginny: 8/10 - hahaha, I actually find it hilarious that I wound up giving H/G the highest score, but I do think that [regardless of bad characterization choices and/or bad writing, etcetc] as characters they just... fit. Whether or not they're good or 'best' for each other is irrelevant here; what I'm saying is that it's pretty likely for them to have gotten together considering their personalities. However, it's still likely enough that Harry would've passed even though the attraction is there-- he can be self-centered/oblivious like that, and curiosity [like with Cho] doesn't drive him very far. He wouldn't make Ginny a priority, and things could [and did] come up. I mean, they work well enough if you mean whether they'd -want- each other, but they're not really complementary and they hardly -need- each other. It could be lots of other girls for Harry, and as fixated as Ginny is, it has literally been lots of other boys besides Harry even so. They attract each other with a lot of breadth [giving it a high score in terms of likelihood] but without much depth to make it stick.
Remus/Tonks: 4/10 - I think Remus already stated his objections, and I don't think he was 'just saying' that. It's really... really... far-fetched. And what do they have in common/to build on? Remus might give her a chance just because he's too worn down even to fight very much, but at this point he reminds me of a squeezed-dry fruit husk & she would just expect/need tons more from him than he's prepared to give. The very fact that she'd insist and go over the top in her depression before they even had any relationship shows that she has no clue what she's getting into. Still, if they actually got together seriously, Remus would probably not do anything on purpose to drive her away.
~~
PS: I just realized all my fractions/numbers are skewed 'cause I didn't factor in the fact that no slash/homo pairing can be as likely as an equivalent het pairing, since statistically hetero pairings are a lot more likely in general. I just didn't want to keep going into negatives too much, considering my rating for H/D & H/S-- I mean, if I took off 2 or 3 for 'unlikely seeing as PROBABLY NOT GAY' that's what would happen. I just think that's kinda funny, especially considering that I think in canon, both H/G & R/T got like +3 [if not more!] points extra likelihood 'cause they're het & this is the only available girl they 'hung around', not counting Hermione in the former case. :> Though in real life, I hear a lot of 'normal' people really do hook up with whoever's in the vicinity that's remotely attractive, ahahah. Although like, if you hang out together too much, the opposite effect happens & people sort of screen each other out [which is probably why Ginny had to be a bit in the background most of the time, I guess].
Anyway, yeay for gen &
kasche's Marauders pic ♥ :D
