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reenkaI think my problem is (and naturally I always have A Problem) is...
That I'm too much the Harmonizer Clarifier (as per that INFP description I linked)-- meaning, I'm always trying to harmonize myself & my little idiosyncracies and perceptions with other people's perceptions of the same thing, specifically in H/D fandom. And also clarify myself in the vain hope I'll not only be understood, but harmonization & congruence will follow. What a laugh. But anyway....
I was think about the process that would lead someone to label their own pornfic OOC, and then about my own writing process, which goes like this: 'No, this is wrong, they'd never act this way'. *scraps* 'Noooo, this would never happen, was I on CRACK??!' *scraps* 'Wtf, this is never going to work, is it??!' *SCRAPS* What I'm trying to say is: the stuff I actually post? Is usually the ficlets that mean little enough to me that I'm like, 'eh, who cares how likely/believable/real it is, it's cute'.
The other thing I realized is that people say they write stuff that 'seems' OOC because 'they can see it' or imagine the characters progressing that way. Now, they don't need to actually show it because it satisfies them, obviously, and they're writing for an audience of people who'll make that leap with them. Me, it's not like I'm writing for non-shippers or hardcore canon bitches who've lost faith in H/D (though if I am, it's only the activist sort of hopeful spirit in me, not my actual motivation to sit down and do real work). It's just that I can't accept a flight of fancy as valid unless I can work it through (unless it's crack-- and OOC fic alone isn't crack); it's like, I can imagine lots of things (say, Harry gets together with Draco because he discovers Excalibur in the lake & Draco's possessed by the spirit of Merlin-- there, poof, I don't need to allude to it, ISN'T IT OBVIOUS TO EVERYBODY?), but that doesn't mean that all bunnies are created equal. They're SOOOOOO not.
I think this reminds me of reading a recap of the otakin vs. the otherkin wank, where the initial wanker in question showed up to basically say, 'but don't you feel bonds to fictional characters too?? RESPECT MY BELIEFS! MY BELIEFS ARE AS VALID AS YOUR BELIEFS!' And... yeah, no. They're not equally valid as some, you know, saner beliefs because you need a dollop of common sense to go very far. You can't say 'well, I can imagine it, therefore it's true for me, so there!' & expect to be taken seriously by anyone but people who're already one of The Faithful. And. Well, it always struck me as kind of claustrophobic and ultimately fruitless to only ever be preaching to the choir, although admittedly that's a subjective judgment. Even with H/D, something I wholeheartedly and consistently want to believe in, I refuse to just be fed crap as 'one of The Faithful' :/
It's like, if you don't question your assumptions, even the best ideas will degenerate into sheer nonsense uncontrolled. And specifically, if you go 'well, whatever, who cares, this is OOC and if you want to quibble you obviously have no life'-- any effort you've then put into writing that story seems basically equivalent to spending lots of time and effort to get a better, bigger circle-jerk. I call that 'too much of a good thing', btw. (Though the fact remains there must be a happy middle; I still can't even write post-HBP H/D without feeling like a fraud, but that's just me and my lack of vision, I guess.)
~~
Um, so I'm reading xkcd.com, which is a webcomic, and I think it's the first one I've really liked 'cause it's sort of insane and funny in the same way I am, except if I was a guy. If that makes sense. Well, it does to me. ^^;; Starting at the beginning, this is probably my favorite so far, but mostly I made this post to show another one of his comics I have a particular affinity to considering how I feel so repetitive & trapped in routine, perhaps especially so online.
...yeah.
That I'm too much the Harmonizer Clarifier (as per that INFP description I linked)-- meaning, I'm always trying to harmonize myself & my little idiosyncracies and perceptions with other people's perceptions of the same thing, specifically in H/D fandom. And also clarify myself in the vain hope I'll not only be understood, but harmonization & congruence will follow. What a laugh. But anyway....
I was think about the process that would lead someone to label their own pornfic OOC, and then about my own writing process, which goes like this: 'No, this is wrong, they'd never act this way'. *scraps* 'Noooo, this would never happen, was I on CRACK??!' *scraps* 'Wtf, this is never going to work, is it??!' *SCRAPS* What I'm trying to say is: the stuff I actually post? Is usually the ficlets that mean little enough to me that I'm like, 'eh, who cares how likely/believable/real it is, it's cute'.
The other thing I realized is that people say they write stuff that 'seems' OOC because 'they can see it' or imagine the characters progressing that way. Now, they don't need to actually show it because it satisfies them, obviously, and they're writing for an audience of people who'll make that leap with them. Me, it's not like I'm writing for non-shippers or hardcore canon bitches who've lost faith in H/D (though if I am, it's only the activist sort of hopeful spirit in me, not my actual motivation to sit down and do real work). It's just that I can't accept a flight of fancy as valid unless I can work it through (unless it's crack-- and OOC fic alone isn't crack); it's like, I can imagine lots of things (say, Harry gets together with Draco because he discovers Excalibur in the lake & Draco's possessed by the spirit of Merlin-- there, poof, I don't need to allude to it, ISN'T IT OBVIOUS TO EVERYBODY?), but that doesn't mean that all bunnies are created equal. They're SOOOOOO not.
I think this reminds me of reading a recap of the otakin vs. the otherkin wank, where the initial wanker in question showed up to basically say, 'but don't you feel bonds to fictional characters too?? RESPECT MY BELIEFS! MY BELIEFS ARE AS VALID AS YOUR BELIEFS!' And... yeah, no. They're not equally valid as some, you know, saner beliefs because you need a dollop of common sense to go very far. You can't say 'well, I can imagine it, therefore it's true for me, so there!' & expect to be taken seriously by anyone but people who're already one of The Faithful. And. Well, it always struck me as kind of claustrophobic and ultimately fruitless to only ever be preaching to the choir, although admittedly that's a subjective judgment. Even with H/D, something I wholeheartedly and consistently want to believe in, I refuse to just be fed crap as 'one of The Faithful' :/
It's like, if you don't question your assumptions, even the best ideas will degenerate into sheer nonsense uncontrolled. And specifically, if you go 'well, whatever, who cares, this is OOC and if you want to quibble you obviously have no life'-- any effort you've then put into writing that story seems basically equivalent to spending lots of time and effort to get a better, bigger circle-jerk. I call that 'too much of a good thing', btw. (Though the fact remains there must be a happy middle; I still can't even write post-HBP H/D without feeling like a fraud, but that's just me and my lack of vision, I guess.)
~~
Um, so I'm reading xkcd.com, which is a webcomic, and I think it's the first one I've really liked 'cause it's sort of insane and funny in the same way I am, except if I was a guy. If that makes sense. Well, it does to me. ^^;; Starting at the beginning, this is probably my favorite so far, but mostly I made this post to show another one of his comics I have a particular affinity to considering how I feel so repetitive & trapped in routine, perhaps especially so online.
...yeah.
