[duh. -.-]

[reenka]

I read dorrie6's comment on Sister M's post on Harry-bias in canon about how Draco's understandable and could be made plenty sympathetic in fanfic without white-washing his choices and experiences/beliefs (or making him a pathetic whiney baby or boring and uptight or too serious or... *grumblegrumble*), and I was like YES! and I AM NOT ALONE, I KNOW THAT! and SO WHY ARE THINGS THE WAY THEY ARE??!? and why do people say this on a canon post and only argue till they're blue in the face on most fanon posts.... I just realized: it's because these issues themselves (including my reaction!) aren't really analytically based. I really can't sit there and go, 'okay, so I was thinking about this and it's not like I'm about to scream in frustration or anything... um....'

I mean, we may love the HP books, yes, but we can (sometimes) discuss them calmly 'cause we're not -as- invested as we are in our work or that of our friends or y'know, "our" porn and reading kinks or whatever. That's the bottom line, probably; bigtime fans don't like it when you diss HP (unless it's v. subtle/intellectual and goes over their heads), but they'd probably like it even less if you said their favorite porny fun-fun-happy-time fic sucked & was lazy & OOC. :/ It's hard to say 'this sort of fic SUCKS ASS' in a subtle & intellectual way, I guess :>
    (And it actually never ceases to amuse me that as an actual reviewer, I'm a total verbose squee-monkey and never snark or say snide things... I love fanfic not because I'm so critical/analytical but because I'm just IN LOVE so I notice tons of bad -and- good things the way girls obsess over their butts and notice that light pink rash on the far-off fold of their left buttock...)

So no one says it unless they want to whine, don't care about stirring up shit or are somehow untouchable in fandom. But yes, regardless: point is, it's fic so it's about passion whereas discussing canon can easily-- and is easily-- made purely intellectual in fandom (when it's not a jizz-bottle of pure wank). DAMN IT ALL TO HELL ANYWAY.

The sad sad truth is, I'm probably more -attracted- to fanfic meta than canon meta because it's more emotionally meaty and volatile as a subject in the first place, because it's more -fun- since it's tapping into my creative self, my dreaming self, my wanting-fun-fun-happy-porn self. Canon, to me, is just like 'oh, that's interesting... oooh, I LOVE Harry... oooh, Draco... huh... wow, Snape sure is fascinating, I wonder what's going on... tralala... oh look, it's a zombie!!' -.- Oh, self. *groan*
    PS. I don't mean I like fanon more than canon, I really do just mean I like fanfic more, which is a subtle difference but it's there. Or perhaps I should say I'm v. picky about what sorts of fanon I like & how they relate to canon?? I like a certain kind/flow of canon/fanon relationship, because to me it really is all about relationships between things and never 'the thing alone', which is why I secretly would want most canon meta to be more fanony and of COURSE I want all fanon meta to be canony(!), and I don't just mean romantic relationships, btw. :P

Comments

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Haha, I've long accepted my early H/D fic sucked, and would be amazed if anyone -did- read it! (Since there's so much else to read...) I sort of look at it as a learning experience-- I remember where I was coming from, why I wrote what I did, so I understand it. It also helps me to realize that I perhaps -can't- write an H/D fic I'd be fully happy with-- because it means so much to me & my goal is so lofty, I'll always be falling short of what my vision actually is. So all that's left is the pleasure in writing & hopefully seeing the improvement in one's later works. Like, comparing it to what went before is what shows you you haven't been wasting time & are learning :>

[dorrie6.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, my earliest H/D is the most widely-read. Actually, my very first one is by *far* the most popular, and so I've resisted my urge to remove it from public view entirely, but I can't stand to read it myself. Not that my newer fic makes me much happier to read--perhaps you're right about the impossibility of fulfilling one's own expectations. I don't know. :( I did hide some of the shorter, more embarrassing fic, though. People can still read them, but they have to take the trouble to join a community and search them out (they aren't listed on my public index anymore), so I'm hoping that weeds out a lot of potential readers. That makes me feel a little better.