~just words...
Jul. 25th, 2002 07:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkaanyway. this is my chance to state that duo/wufei/duo is THE ickiest... ok -as- icky as trowa and heero. ickier! damn that's so eloquent. not. ok so -how- much time did they spend in the series? were they partners? noooo... does wufei seem in the slightest possibly gay? nooooo.... did they have "meaningful looks" between them? noooo.... goddamn you people! why, why, why??! *sigh* i just don't get it i guess. maybe i just don't like wufei much. that must be the secret. i don't like pairings with character-i-loveXcharacter-i-don't-love. weird, huh. or not. i don't love ron-- thus i don't love to see him paired with harry or draco. he's ok with herm since i don't feel so bonded with her, even though i like her. i dunno i like snape but i HATE him with a student, but that's just student/teacher ickiness. actually it doesn't -have- to be icky-- but that's one large age diff. i mean, there's the j-drama, majo no joken, that has the student/teacher thang going, but, i mean, they look of age, basically, and i don't really know either of them, and there aren't any "extra" love interests to go around, and it's basically -about- them, so blah blah. in general though, i find it.... um... forced. it's like-- that much diff in experience level means one person gets a sort of "leverage", or, "advantage" in terms of what they understand or what they know to expect or how advanced their coping mechanisms are. emotionally, they're more likely less available, more guarded, more set in their ways, harder to overwhelm. usually.
why do i think of pairings so much? i don't. i innocently come across a wufei/duo fic, otherwise well and dandy, well-written, etc. but it makes me want to yell and run from the room. aaack! wufei and duuuooooo...aaack. that sorta thing. my mind hates wrapping around it. sort of like having to picture george bush jr having wild monkey sex (well with anybody) but like, with barney the dinosaur. and i'm a happily perverse person. just not... that perverse.
i can't help it. these things make me want to rant, get it off my chest. i have an overactive imagination. if you tell me something, i don't just gloss over it, if it has any significance to me emotionally whatsoever. i just automatically imagine it. if it clicks, it makes me all fuzzy and happy. if it doesn't click it makes me shudder and want to throw up. maybe that's why if you tell me something, it means something to me, and isn't "just words". what are "just words", anyway? i make them mean too much, i realize that. things are -things-, not words. words are just ... airy representations. what does -that- mean? i mean, numbers aren't just "airy representations", and they're even more abstract, yet more intrinsic. there -is- one cup, or two cups, or three cups. but the word cup? it's not really related to the cupness of that one cup. words are keys to our minds, rather than the exterior world. buzzing flying keys :) they unlock many doors, secret and not-so-secret.
as far as the question, would i rather be blind or deaf, the answer is, deaf. i may never hear any more words, but seeing them is enough. and music is essential to me, true, but without sight i'd just be lost. i understand things through vision. to me, language is a direct, kind of visual thing. by referring to a concept, you're -giving- me that vision, that concept, using it as a key to unlock me, or to stick into me, painfully.
i know it's completely unrealistic and ridiculous to be so unable to deal with "alien" or uncomfortable concepts, because they're unavoidable. i can't say, well, wufei/duo icks me and freaks me out, so i'd rather just not touch that with a ten-foot pole, ever again. because i don't think that's a good, or workable solution, even with that, forget other things. that's how prejudiced people are. "i can't stand this so i really wish it didn't exist and no one thought like this". and i'm not really like that. it's all kind of visceral and not moral, for me. morally, the more the merrier. as far as -personally-, one can't help having gut reactions. if you like girls but not boys, you can be all for it, for other people, whatever they wanna do, but you see a boy in "that context" and you go... eeeeeew. well, some people do. non-prejudiced people, even. some people are um, different, and even if something doesn't involve them or their personal practices and likes-or-dislikes or whatever, they're still into reading/writing it. i'm not sure, 'cause i'm not 100% anything (in most things), so i don't know what it's like to be a 100% and yet like, into that other thing that you're not into. or whatever. um. that's starting to be confusing so i'll stop.
i have strong ideas of "rightness" about things-- not "big" things, small things usually. like, the nature of bagels, or the quirks of fictional characters, or the stupidity of certain national leaders. on those things, it's hard to budge. hm. so i guess i'm prejudiced about duo and wufei. hmm. i think it's because i'm jealous. heh. you know. jealous for heero's sake. i'm so very insane. ah well. so what gives with my certainty that some people are stupid asses? hmm. well they act like it, don't they? i mean, they do. it's just obvious. oh well, this isn't going anywhere anymore. i must remember to vote for the ferret party....
why do i think of pairings so much? i don't. i innocently come across a wufei/duo fic, otherwise well and dandy, well-written, etc. but it makes me want to yell and run from the room. aaack! wufei and duuuooooo...aaack. that sorta thing. my mind hates wrapping around it. sort of like having to picture george bush jr having wild monkey sex (well with anybody) but like, with barney the dinosaur. and i'm a happily perverse person. just not... that perverse.
i can't help it. these things make me want to rant, get it off my chest. i have an overactive imagination. if you tell me something, i don't just gloss over it, if it has any significance to me emotionally whatsoever. i just automatically imagine it. if it clicks, it makes me all fuzzy and happy. if it doesn't click it makes me shudder and want to throw up. maybe that's why if you tell me something, it means something to me, and isn't "just words". what are "just words", anyway? i make them mean too much, i realize that. things are -things-, not words. words are just ... airy representations. what does -that- mean? i mean, numbers aren't just "airy representations", and they're even more abstract, yet more intrinsic. there -is- one cup, or two cups, or three cups. but the word cup? it's not really related to the cupness of that one cup. words are keys to our minds, rather than the exterior world. buzzing flying keys :) they unlock many doors, secret and not-so-secret.
as far as the question, would i rather be blind or deaf, the answer is, deaf. i may never hear any more words, but seeing them is enough. and music is essential to me, true, but without sight i'd just be lost. i understand things through vision. to me, language is a direct, kind of visual thing. by referring to a concept, you're -giving- me that vision, that concept, using it as a key to unlock me, or to stick into me, painfully.
i know it's completely unrealistic and ridiculous to be so unable to deal with "alien" or uncomfortable concepts, because they're unavoidable. i can't say, well, wufei/duo icks me and freaks me out, so i'd rather just not touch that with a ten-foot pole, ever again. because i don't think that's a good, or workable solution, even with that, forget other things. that's how prejudiced people are. "i can't stand this so i really wish it didn't exist and no one thought like this". and i'm not really like that. it's all kind of visceral and not moral, for me. morally, the more the merrier. as far as -personally-, one can't help having gut reactions. if you like girls but not boys, you can be all for it, for other people, whatever they wanna do, but you see a boy in "that context" and you go... eeeeeew. well, some people do. non-prejudiced people, even. some people are um, different, and even if something doesn't involve them or their personal practices and likes-or-dislikes or whatever, they're still into reading/writing it. i'm not sure, 'cause i'm not 100% anything (in most things), so i don't know what it's like to be a 100% and yet like, into that other thing that you're not into. or whatever. um. that's starting to be confusing so i'll stop.
i have strong ideas of "rightness" about things-- not "big" things, small things usually. like, the nature of bagels, or the quirks of fictional characters, or the stupidity of certain national leaders. on those things, it's hard to budge. hm. so i guess i'm prejudiced about duo and wufei. hmm. i think it's because i'm jealous. heh. you know. jealous for heero's sake. i'm so very insane. ah well. so what gives with my certainty that some people are stupid asses? hmm. well they act like it, don't they? i mean, they do. it's just obvious. oh well, this isn't going anywhere anymore. i must remember to vote for the ferret party....
