[oh, that green-eyed boy....]

[reenka]

You know how they say you get attached to a fandom, then you drift away, but even so you stay around 'cause of the friends you make. And of course it's true for me too, though it's more like I stay around livejournal for the people, not fandom. Fandom was always mainly a vehicle to see fanfic and fanart and produce some sometimes. And unlike most people who seem to mainly like fanart as a way to see their favorite character or pairing portrayed, the sexier the better, I just like fanart as its own thing, the way I like fanfic as a 'thing'. Uh. If that makes sense.

Anyway... I was on my way to the video store to rent season 4 of Alias, and there's this poster of GoF, and... naturally, the only one I had eyes for was Harry. I literally had to restrain myself from squealing and saying 'BABY!!' out loud. I did sort of mutter it :D :D :D Omg yes, I'm still a crazed fan. Of Harry and/or anyone who remotely resembles him :> I mean, I'm not what you'd call a big Dan Radcliffe fan. It's just that it's 'okay' to think of him as Harry, and I take any excuse, ahahaha. Yeah, I'm that bad -.-

I guess-- I don't miss the H/D fics (much), writing or reading-- and I don't know if I miss the meta or even the fanart (which I still love even though it seems most of the H/D BNF fanartists are gone-- they are, aren't they?). I'm still nominally in touch with most of my old fandom friends (whenever I'm not too obsessed to read my flist), but. What I miss... what I miss now is Harry. Thinking about him, writing about him-- drawing him still comes so naturally.

It's like... it's not like I've ever really had 'something to say' about Harry the way I did with Draco. Draco's the one I could see tons of interesting fics for, the one I could play around with-- but after one reads enough fics and plays enough games, what's left is just pure affection. The simple, uncomplicated love of a character that's the most basic property of being a fan-- the first thing to come and the last to leave. Like fire.

Without even thinking about it, Harry's the one I start to mindlessly doodle. I always start with the glasses, y'know. Glasses + a huge mop of black hair = Harry <3<3<3 It's really that simple. Oh, and he has a wand, a sort of broody expression and he's apparently always around 12-14 in my head :D

I was thinking how even with most other aspects of my fannish love gone, this remains for some reason: a dark-haired boy with a fierce green gaze, staring intently at something he's holding in his palm. Staring unblinking at the flickering green light in front of him, lips slightly parted. He's thinking of the past and the future, of his parents and his girlfriend and his friends, and he's thinking of death.
    I love that boy. I always will.

Comments

[plumforgot.livejournal.com]

Man, I so know.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I know you know, man! :X! ...although it's difficult to be either serious or sentimental when you say that with that icon :)) *cracks up for some reason, omg*


...*cough*
Erm. Sorry I'm not around-- you're one of those few I'd be around for if I could stop watching Alias for like... even 2 hours at a time, just fyi :))

[plumforgot.livejournal.com]

What's wrong with my icon!

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Nothing's wrong! :D Unless you mean amusing = wrong, in which case, I find her arrogant pouty face amusing when coupled with my/our overall sense of.. um, nostalgic ruefulness? She looks a bit bitchy, but I mean, I like that sort of thing, so ^^;; :-? <3?

.......come to think of it, that's a Draco-ish sort of expression..... :>

[plumforgot.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah, she does sorta always look like she's going to cut a bitch. :-j

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

...I just had this vivid vision of Draco catfighting-- like, you -know- he'd go straight for the face with his sharp little nails, screeching like a girl and pulling hair... and calling for Pansy as back-up....... :D This is especially amusing if it's one of those post-Hogwarts Draco's-a-hooker fics... Lucius could be the pimp... I mean, he already has the cane...