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reenkaI was going to post this on the INFP forum, but I think of this journal as 'home' more, and I want to sort of think through some things (maybe, we'll see how it goes), in my personal space first.
Three things happened today: I saw about 6 eps from the anime, 'The Law of Ueki' and I heard Noam Chomsky speak at my campus. Oh, and then to round off my day of variously emotionally jarring, horrifying and yet somehow amusing (and in the case of the anime, horribly, atrociously cute) things, I went to see the poetry slam; all this after something like 3-4 weeks (winter break and some) with no real human contact but my mom. This may seem like a non-sequitur, but I suspect I wouldn't be quite this shaken if I wasn't also a bit in shock from all the... um... people everywhere -.-
These things may not at first seem related, I guess, but. Actually, they all affected me emotionally to the extreme; I was actually crying(!!) while I listened to Chomsky, and I like, never cry except seeing nature shows (though I think I can actually tear up at anyone's problems but my own), so I was seriously freaking out; I had to remind myself I'm in public and cannot curl up into a ball and start shaking. I'm saying this not to plea for sympathy but just to kind of wonder if other people have had similar emotional reactions to Chomsky or similar events (ie, lectures about current events). Heh.
I'm trying to be all out with the self-disclosure 'cause I wanna talk about things that are important to me, and I don't wanna be half-assed, so.
The poetry slam was great, mostly; about 95% of the poems were explicitly sexual & sarcastic (and when I say 'explicit', I mean more explicit than the average posting on![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
pornish_pixies). All of a sudden, fandom didn't seem quite so risque and actually quite a normal outlet for people my age, ahahaha. Yeah, it's true, all we think about is sex, mostly (seeing as how the male/female ratio of the readers was about 50/50).
And then this one guy read a semi-serious poem that was more your usual depressed-misunderstood-and-lonely poetboi fare, and I sort of left after the one following, 'cause... I couldn't enjoy it anymore; now, when I remember the slam (which finished barely 15 minutes before I write this), mostly I remember that poem. Granted, it sounded a lot like the stuff my Asshole Poetboi Ex had written post-break-up (...about me...), and he looked similar as well, so mostly that's it. Usually, I'd probably not be as susceptible, but today was a particularly emotional day; even so, I feel bad for missing the rest of the slam. On the other hand, I don't think poetry is really there to be 'enjoyed' on a 'haha, good one' level, which is really the problem with the slam concept 'cause those were the popular ones.
Mostly, I felt a great deal of comraderie with the audience and the poets and stuff; my people! Heh. I sort of wish that guy never read his; I just feel all unsettled and unable to focus too well on the other stuff from today, which was much more intellectual. This is more of a personal issue, obviously, and it's not even that intense, but it threatens to eclipse everything else that I experienced, just because... well. Poetry is all fun and games 'til someone pokes an eye out. But I'll just stop there; this is one of the subjects I'm really self-indulgent about once I get started (I know, I know).
Anyway, onwards to 'more important' matters to People Other Than Me, which is the anime & Chomsky (and how does Jung & MBTI tie in??), which may not seem related but have actually become nearly fused in my head, ahaha.
I've been obsessed with the MBTI/Jung's personality typing system recently, and one of my biggest hurdles is finding any love & respect in my heart for the 'J' function (that is, Judgment as vs. Perceiving; you can see a summary of the basics here, and the difference between these funky 'J' and 'P' letters explained here). I have no great reason to trust most people's judgment of other people or the world or... most things; it's basically a rare and special person whom I would trust with making a real, consequential (consequence-carrying-to-other-people?) judgment, and most people I would trust this way are actually 'P'-types, or non-judgmental in most ways. I have a very healthy dislike and distrust of virtually any and all authority, and it's not that I naturally distrust people (I'm actually one of those overly optimistic saps who finds mankind basically 'good'), but I do distrust the level of people's awareness and perspective enough to make them effective in their judgments.
Thinking of this more, I'd say what Ueki had wasn't really justice but really compassion: the desire to act on the impulse to help people. This really makes me think more abstractly, also, about the real connection between what's generally considered two separate concepts: Justice and Mercy. I've long thought you cannot have one without the other, but I still leaned towards Mercy. Justice usually seems so... um... impersonal (as in the 'blind Lady Justice')? Whereas really, you cannot have impersonal justice; I think what Ueki did was more-- informed. The key is to be informed.
Anyway, 'The Law of Ueki' is like, custom-made for idealist wussies (like me) who basically distrust the 'J' function that's built-in to the majority of the population (I think something like 75% of people are Js of one type or another, but it's at least half the general population); though in this I don't mean to confuse the external 'judging' preference with being judgmental (and obviously, not with justice itself). It's just that in my own experience, the Js are more likely to make decisions that affect people's lives without considering all the information available, thus sometimes working counter to what I really consider 'justice'; seeing Ueki made me consider that perhaps the 'J' approach would normally be the main tool of justice, even if it's constantly misused. However, this is all a very loose series of personal associations; this whole thing is about my perception of 'J' anyway, not a lecture on how Jness is really like (especially not if you yourself are J-type and want to um, argue with me or something 'cause you're not prejudiced/controlling/scary/etc. I know.)
Basically, I think the anime sort of admits that the general populace has poor judgment capacity (something like, an imperfect or too-human idea of 'Justice'), but through its hero, Ueki, it (tries to) show that justice is possible as a merciful 'law'.
Basically, if you have a true or 'pure' enough 'J' (judgment) capacity, that J is no longer potentially dangerous because the person isn't dangerous; because the person is on the right path, their judgments will be humane and merciful, and they will become a force for good-- as in Gandhi's vision, they will 'become the change they want to see in the world'. In the end, being 'too human' and imperfect becomes the power one wields; having that human connection unified and connected to one's actions and reactions in a well-balanced way, one's justice can become just that-- Justice. A self-created law. Though obviously we all make mistakes (as does Ueki, I'm sure-- though not so far, I mean, it's anime); the point is that if you're 'that kind' of J, you would be able to perceive your error and adjust your behavior-- you'd learn.
I realize I haven't actually given anybody an idea of what the anime is about (it's not really intellectual or anything-- there's a lot of slapstick and sarcasm and um, since it's shounen, there's tons of fighting for a prize, etc etc). The main impact it had is related to me thinking about the 'J' function and how Ueki personifies what every person that's predominantly 'J' would be in an ideal setting: someone who is certain enough to enact a policy (or 'a mission'), but at the same time open enough to listen to others. In that way, it really has to incorporate the 'P' (perceiving) function; you really cannot be a 'good' Judge if you cannot perceive people & their issues fairly. You have to be 'a little bit P' to be Just; and you have to be 'a little bit J' to act on the understanding you have. Seeing the anime at this particular point sort of made me love Js (in ideal); made me value them & see the potential. If justice is in service of truth & basic kindness, then of course I love justice. And of course a lot of lip-service often gets paid to 'service' by Js (and J-type organizations like police/gov't/organizations of power), but it's sort of the nature of J to decide what's 'service' and what's not-- I mean, that's what I hate about it. But perhaps it doesn't have to go there.
In retrospect, of course it's obvious and I already realized it: every major concept/direction in life has a balancing flipside; it could be I'm a little too obsessed with balance, but it really hurts me when people over-fixate on either Reason or Feeling, for instance-- like in the MBTI forums, 'T' types go on about how they've successfully suppressed their emotions or just can't access them (and they're glad! because F-types are just so wussy and deluded & wrong!!), and 'F' types about how alien and disturbing logical thinking types are or something. That really disturbs me the most; people that don't understand that without a holistic approach, both knowledge and feeling flounder. You simply cannot fully understand anything while going at it from one direction/angle alone; you can't feel things fully without really knowing some truth, I think.
Of this I'm nearly 100% certain.
~~
Well, that's enough theory for anyone to choke on, isn't it? Not that anyone even cares except me; me and my ongoing resentment of J 'authority' (whether governmental or, y'know, that of my mom, who's a heavy-duty 'emotional' rationalist J if there ever was one) and everything it stands for, and the quest to unbend a little. I'm not an anarchist, I just-- really hate people who think they know things they don't know. But that's not J, really; that's ignorance combined with the will to Power, pure and simple. I still pretty much abhor the will to Power; in a way, I love the idea of Justice because it would counterbalance it; because it is a more democratic, a wider power.
~~
Chomsky, then....
My main thought, really-- my main thought is that he's an intelligent human being, yeah. I went to see him 'cause he's famous; I mean, I had a basic idea of his area of study & who he was, but mainly I went to see him 'cause he's a famous intellectual, and I couldn't help but be curious, right? Generally, I avoid all talk of current world issues 'cause it upsets me (and it did again); I'm not the activist type (and I'm still not), simply because I don't have the emotional strength to constantly think of the idiots who're pulling the monkey levers, y'know? It's not really escapism so much as pure emotional self-preservation; however, awareness is important on a broader level, whether or not one's involved.
I think I resent all the idolization of Chomsky; people kept kowtowing to him & his great works, etc etc, but really he's just like any other well-read, eloquent geek I know, except he's well-informed and famous. But he remains very eloquent, very intelligent, and very right on everything he speaks of. The reason I say that is because he doesn't make judgments-- I mean, he's clearly a 'P', most likely an INTP-- someone who has his field of study pretty well free of emotionally-based prejudice, so of course his analysis seems sound. And after I finished being completely overwhelmed and depressed to the point of despair what with the Armageddon breathing down my neck (because of the hole the US gov't has been digging for this country & the rest of the world, will-to-power and nuclear weapons and wars and global control, blah-blah)-- he said something that put it all in perspective in a way I consider typical of a 'P'-type (and actually, it reminded me of the way![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sistermagpie speaks about contentious canon stuff): the general public actually agrees on what the 'right thing' would be here-- that's why the suppression of full disclosure happens.
I'm not sure how much to go into the details of what he talked about; on the one hand, specifics are important, but on the other-- mostly it just made me remember my adolescent-era excitement/fear/intensity of involvement, where I knew that the fate of the world was up to me and my generation, and it's really true. It's really true. The stuff about how the acculturated apathy of the even slightly affluent perpetuates American imperialism and is actually a lot of The Problem-- that is, they control us because we're willing to be controlled-- that is something I needed to remember.
On the one hand, I've been apathetic because the problems are literally so huge and the opposition (both human and environmental/historical/ideological forces at this point) is so powerful I feel faint and sick even thinking of it seriously. And when I say I feel sick, I mean literally sick. I kept looking around me as I watched the screen (since there were too many people for the auditorium and we had to use the cam-feed)-- wondering if there were others who felt it. If there were, they weren't close to me and/or too good at hiding it. I just know I can't think about the Iraqi stuff as it is in historical global context in a calm way, though I can be rational (that is, not when it's 'just another war', no matter how gruesome/bad/wrong-- what really freaks me out is that it's part of a trend and that the American imperial power is actually in decline, according to Mr. Chomsky, which makes it more dangerous in its desperation).
I think saying phrases like 'American imperialism' gets used too often by political radicals out of context; they're the 'converted', the activists, the true believers, and I don't think they should use terms like that, because it just sounds like hyperbole even if it's not. That was the benefit of listening to Noam Chomsky; he said all these radical things I've heard before, basically, but because he presented quotes and facts and outlined historical trends, the conclusions were, as he said, self-evident. The thing that I really admired about him is that he's not a radical, and a lot of people seem to miss that; he presents facts & history in a very clear-eyed, balanced fashion, allowing listeners to draw the obvious conclusions. He's also got a great sense of humor, and I think I just intuitively trust his judgment because he (ironically) doesn't impose it, not even by implication; that's actually one of his biggest gifts. Nearly every other political speaker that I've ever heard, ever, lacks this basic, basic ability. And yeah, I'm pretty bitter about that.
It's actually the major reason why I hate politics and politicians (amateur and professional) and talking about and even thinking about it and so on. I just really hate partisanship; unless you can sound convincingly neutral, I will just generally consider you wrong to some degree, and yes, that's the heart of my 'anti-J' bias, I'll admit it. But. I love justice. I do; because even though I don't think it's impersonal, I do think it's neutral(!!).
I can't help but think that 'Justice' is a fellowship (a union?) between an INTP (like Noam Chomsky) and an ENFJ. But this is just a metaphor, heh.
Any right-thinking (intelligent) person not bent on American supremacy or alternatively mass destruction that doesn't achieve it anyway is likely to agree (and why the fuck would any intelligent person be bent on supremacy of any kind is a question I'd rather not consider too long); even so, most of the follow-up questions of the audience and my personal experience with the activist-level followers of Mr. Chomsky & others discourages me. I've heard people talk about this stuff before, and it's always propaganda in the other direction. Always some sort of rabid faith in the 'evil' of American gov't, etcetc.
I think those terms are both misleading and too simple. What's necessary is a massive, revolutionary method of information dissemination, not propaganda about our 'evil leaders', which likely turns off your average American much more than me. What's needed is an understanding of the forces at work and an awareness of our own goals and efforts to achieve them; since ideally, we're not trying to overthrow anyone, just establish a real semblance of global democratic process.
The main thrust of Chomsky's speech was that we face (at least) two sources of Armageddon, one more imminent: basically, he said the threat of nuclear war is as bad as ever, if not worse, and the current administration's foreign policies are driving the world faster towards domino-effect (re)armament, but the Clinton administration actually did as much (subtler? not really) damage in terms of going back on nuclear treaties. I did not know this-- in fact, everyone's been saying the nuclear threat is negligent, only reasonably to be expected from terrorist militants (this is a lie). On top of the growing re-armament, the United States is still going forward with the space arms/missile build-up (so you could theoretically hit anyone anywhere on the planet-- yaye), naturally also inspiring the other countries. I can't even think about that without feeling... indescribable. I think the phrase 'just how stupid are they' comes to mind (again).
The second major threat to world survival being environmental change/disaster, of course. Meh. This, I knew; it's why I quit following current events, overwhelmed, in the first place.
Even thinking about this too long makes me exhausted; I don't know how Noam Chomsky and all those campus activists handle it. I feel like they make it their job-- y'know, same old spiel, but. Trying to live as a 'regular citizen' who's aware of her world, it's a bit much (seeing as 'our survival as a species hangs by a thread' according to both Mr. Chomsky and my own estimate). I was actually sitting there thinking, 'thank god there are J types out there for whom implementing change in spite and because of their understanding/feelings is natural and not a Herculean effort at mass social engagement of any kind.' -.-
I really wanted a few trusted J-types to hide behind at some points, honestly (where's Ueki when I need him???). And like-- hahaha, maybe that's what they're there for :D And us P types can inform them of the stuff they're missing and help them integrate & consider alternatives :> Well. It could (does?? sometimes) work. Maybe.
Meh. I'm exhausted.
Also, the Once More With Feeling soundtrack seems particularly fitting today. I really feel like that sort of fearless readiness for self-sacrifice is all that is available to me, emotionally, on the largest scope. (And I just decided that Spike is such the classic, absolutely classic INFP like me gone sour/jaded/etc; especially considering William. Oh boy. And uber-especially listening to Rest In Peace, his OMWF solo-- that's so INFP it hurts, I swear (though as a soulless vampire, I believe he's an ISFP, with all the living-for-the-moment and not-brooding-like-Angel stuff-- but like, still intrinsically INFP, because being 'S' translates into him 'living out his dreams' as William). Which would make Buffy his ENFJ counterpart... mmm, balance. Um, I'll shut up now.)
But yeah... any idea that we're really 'safe' (if by 'we' you mean something other than 'me and my family/friends', and even then-- I mean...) is basically an illusion, yeah, but-- In breaking illusions, I think we find freedom.
~~
On yet another totally unrelated note:blue_onion drew a really spot-on Ron&Hermione and Harry pic. Somehow it seems... like a real 'reinterpretation' while seeming endearingly familiar. And I love Harry's woebegone look. Oh dear oh dear, what shall he do. ♥.
Three things happened today: I saw about 6 eps from the anime, 'The Law of Ueki' and I heard Noam Chomsky speak at my campus. Oh, and then to round off my day of variously emotionally jarring, horrifying and yet somehow amusing (and in the case of the anime, horribly, atrociously cute) things, I went to see the poetry slam; all this after something like 3-4 weeks (winter break and some) with no real human contact but my mom. This may seem like a non-sequitur, but I suspect I wouldn't be quite this shaken if I wasn't also a bit in shock from all the... um... people everywhere -.-
These things may not at first seem related, I guess, but. Actually, they all affected me emotionally to the extreme; I was actually crying(!!) while I listened to Chomsky, and I like, never cry except seeing nature shows (though I think I can actually tear up at anyone's problems but my own), so I was seriously freaking out; I had to remind myself I'm in public and cannot curl up into a ball and start shaking. I'm saying this not to plea for sympathy but just to kind of wonder if other people have had similar emotional reactions to Chomsky or similar events (ie, lectures about current events). Heh.
I'm trying to be all out with the self-disclosure 'cause I wanna talk about things that are important to me, and I don't wanna be half-assed, so.
The poetry slam was great, mostly; about 95% of the poems were explicitly sexual & sarcastic (and when I say 'explicit', I mean more explicit than the average posting on
pornish_pixies). All of a sudden, fandom didn't seem quite so risque and actually quite a normal outlet for people my age, ahahaha. Yeah, it's true, all we think about is sex, mostly (seeing as how the male/female ratio of the readers was about 50/50).And then this one guy read a semi-serious poem that was more your usual depressed-misunderstood-and-lonely poetboi fare, and I sort of left after the one following, 'cause... I couldn't enjoy it anymore; now, when I remember the slam (which finished barely 15 minutes before I write this), mostly I remember that poem. Granted, it sounded a lot like the stuff my Asshole Poetboi Ex had written post-break-up (...about me...), and he looked similar as well, so mostly that's it. Usually, I'd probably not be as susceptible, but today was a particularly emotional day; even so, I feel bad for missing the rest of the slam. On the other hand, I don't think poetry is really there to be 'enjoyed' on a 'haha, good one' level, which is really the problem with the slam concept 'cause those were the popular ones.
Mostly, I felt a great deal of comraderie with the audience and the poets and stuff; my people! Heh. I sort of wish that guy never read his; I just feel all unsettled and unable to focus too well on the other stuff from today, which was much more intellectual. This is more of a personal issue, obviously, and it's not even that intense, but it threatens to eclipse everything else that I experienced, just because... well. Poetry is all fun and games 'til someone pokes an eye out. But I'll just stop there; this is one of the subjects I'm really self-indulgent about once I get started (I know, I know).
Anyway, onwards to 'more important' matters to People Other Than Me, which is the anime & Chomsky (and how does Jung & MBTI tie in??), which may not seem related but have actually become nearly fused in my head, ahaha.
I've been obsessed with the MBTI/Jung's personality typing system recently, and one of my biggest hurdles is finding any love & respect in my heart for the 'J' function (that is, Judgment as vs. Perceiving; you can see a summary of the basics here, and the difference between these funky 'J' and 'P' letters explained here). I have no great reason to trust most people's judgment of other people or the world or... most things; it's basically a rare and special person whom I would trust with making a real, consequential (consequence-carrying-to-other-people?) judgment, and most people I would trust this way are actually 'P'-types, or non-judgmental in most ways. I have a very healthy dislike and distrust of virtually any and all authority, and it's not that I naturally distrust people (I'm actually one of those overly optimistic saps who finds mankind basically 'good'), but I do distrust the level of people's awareness and perspective enough to make them effective in their judgments.
Thinking of this more, I'd say what Ueki had wasn't really justice but really compassion: the desire to act on the impulse to help people. This really makes me think more abstractly, also, about the real connection between what's generally considered two separate concepts: Justice and Mercy. I've long thought you cannot have one without the other, but I still leaned towards Mercy. Justice usually seems so... um... impersonal (as in the 'blind Lady Justice')? Whereas really, you cannot have impersonal justice; I think what Ueki did was more-- informed. The key is to be informed.
Anyway, 'The Law of Ueki' is like, custom-made for idealist wussies (like me) who basically distrust the 'J' function that's built-in to the majority of the population (I think something like 75% of people are Js of one type or another, but it's at least half the general population); though in this I don't mean to confuse the external 'judging' preference with being judgmental (and obviously, not with justice itself). It's just that in my own experience, the Js are more likely to make decisions that affect people's lives without considering all the information available, thus sometimes working counter to what I really consider 'justice'; seeing Ueki made me consider that perhaps the 'J' approach would normally be the main tool of justice, even if it's constantly misused. However, this is all a very loose series of personal associations; this whole thing is about my perception of 'J' anyway, not a lecture on how Jness is really like (especially not if you yourself are J-type and want to um, argue with me or something 'cause you're not prejudiced/controlling/scary/etc. I know.)
Basically, I think the anime sort of admits that the general populace has poor judgment capacity (something like, an imperfect or too-human idea of 'Justice'), but through its hero, Ueki, it (tries to) show that justice is possible as a merciful 'law'.
Basically, if you have a true or 'pure' enough 'J' (judgment) capacity, that J is no longer potentially dangerous because the person isn't dangerous; because the person is on the right path, their judgments will be humane and merciful, and they will become a force for good-- as in Gandhi's vision, they will 'become the change they want to see in the world'. In the end, being 'too human' and imperfect becomes the power one wields; having that human connection unified and connected to one's actions and reactions in a well-balanced way, one's justice can become just that-- Justice. A self-created law. Though obviously we all make mistakes (as does Ueki, I'm sure-- though not so far, I mean, it's anime); the point is that if you're 'that kind' of J, you would be able to perceive your error and adjust your behavior-- you'd learn.
I realize I haven't actually given anybody an idea of what the anime is about (it's not really intellectual or anything-- there's a lot of slapstick and sarcasm and um, since it's shounen, there's tons of fighting for a prize, etc etc). The main impact it had is related to me thinking about the 'J' function and how Ueki personifies what every person that's predominantly 'J' would be in an ideal setting: someone who is certain enough to enact a policy (or 'a mission'), but at the same time open enough to listen to others. In that way, it really has to incorporate the 'P' (perceiving) function; you really cannot be a 'good' Judge if you cannot perceive people & their issues fairly. You have to be 'a little bit P' to be Just; and you have to be 'a little bit J' to act on the understanding you have. Seeing the anime at this particular point sort of made me love Js (in ideal); made me value them & see the potential. If justice is in service of truth & basic kindness, then of course I love justice. And of course a lot of lip-service often gets paid to 'service' by Js (and J-type organizations like police/gov't/organizations of power), but it's sort of the nature of J to decide what's 'service' and what's not-- I mean, that's what I hate about it. But perhaps it doesn't have to go there.
In retrospect, of course it's obvious and I already realized it: every major concept/direction in life has a balancing flipside; it could be I'm a little too obsessed with balance, but it really hurts me when people over-fixate on either Reason or Feeling, for instance-- like in the MBTI forums, 'T' types go on about how they've successfully suppressed their emotions or just can't access them (and they're glad! because F-types are just so wussy and deluded & wrong!!), and 'F' types about how alien and disturbing logical thinking types are or something. That really disturbs me the most; people that don't understand that without a holistic approach, both knowledge and feeling flounder. You simply cannot fully understand anything while going at it from one direction/angle alone; you can't feel things fully without really knowing some truth, I think.
Of this I'm nearly 100% certain.
~~
Well, that's enough theory for anyone to choke on, isn't it? Not that anyone even cares except me; me and my ongoing resentment of J 'authority' (whether governmental or, y'know, that of my mom, who's a heavy-duty 'emotional' rationalist J if there ever was one) and everything it stands for, and the quest to unbend a little. I'm not an anarchist, I just-- really hate people who think they know things they don't know. But that's not J, really; that's ignorance combined with the will to Power, pure and simple. I still pretty much abhor the will to Power; in a way, I love the idea of Justice because it would counterbalance it; because it is a more democratic, a wider power.
~~
Chomsky, then....
My main thought, really-- my main thought is that he's an intelligent human being, yeah. I went to see him 'cause he's famous; I mean, I had a basic idea of his area of study & who he was, but mainly I went to see him 'cause he's a famous intellectual, and I couldn't help but be curious, right? Generally, I avoid all talk of current world issues 'cause it upsets me (and it did again); I'm not the activist type (and I'm still not), simply because I don't have the emotional strength to constantly think of the idiots who're pulling the monkey levers, y'know? It's not really escapism so much as pure emotional self-preservation; however, awareness is important on a broader level, whether or not one's involved.
I think I resent all the idolization of Chomsky; people kept kowtowing to him & his great works, etc etc, but really he's just like any other well-read, eloquent geek I know, except he's well-informed and famous. But he remains very eloquent, very intelligent, and very right on everything he speaks of. The reason I say that is because he doesn't make judgments-- I mean, he's clearly a 'P', most likely an INTP-- someone who has his field of study pretty well free of emotionally-based prejudice, so of course his analysis seems sound. And after I finished being completely overwhelmed and depressed to the point of despair what with the Armageddon breathing down my neck (because of the hole the US gov't has been digging for this country & the rest of the world, will-to-power and nuclear weapons and wars and global control, blah-blah)-- he said something that put it all in perspective in a way I consider typical of a 'P'-type (and actually, it reminded me of the way
sistermagpie speaks about contentious canon stuff): the general public actually agrees on what the 'right thing' would be here-- that's why the suppression of full disclosure happens.I'm not sure how much to go into the details of what he talked about; on the one hand, specifics are important, but on the other-- mostly it just made me remember my adolescent-era excitement/fear/intensity of involvement, where I knew that the fate of the world was up to me and my generation, and it's really true. It's really true. The stuff about how the acculturated apathy of the even slightly affluent perpetuates American imperialism and is actually a lot of The Problem-- that is, they control us because we're willing to be controlled-- that is something I needed to remember.
On the one hand, I've been apathetic because the problems are literally so huge and the opposition (both human and environmental/historical/ideological forces at this point) is so powerful I feel faint and sick even thinking of it seriously. And when I say I feel sick, I mean literally sick. I kept looking around me as I watched the screen (since there were too many people for the auditorium and we had to use the cam-feed)-- wondering if there were others who felt it. If there were, they weren't close to me and/or too good at hiding it. I just know I can't think about the Iraqi stuff as it is in historical global context in a calm way, though I can be rational (that is, not when it's 'just another war', no matter how gruesome/bad/wrong-- what really freaks me out is that it's part of a trend and that the American imperial power is actually in decline, according to Mr. Chomsky, which makes it more dangerous in its desperation).
I think saying phrases like 'American imperialism' gets used too often by political radicals out of context; they're the 'converted', the activists, the true believers, and I don't think they should use terms like that, because it just sounds like hyperbole even if it's not. That was the benefit of listening to Noam Chomsky; he said all these radical things I've heard before, basically, but because he presented quotes and facts and outlined historical trends, the conclusions were, as he said, self-evident. The thing that I really admired about him is that he's not a radical, and a lot of people seem to miss that; he presents facts & history in a very clear-eyed, balanced fashion, allowing listeners to draw the obvious conclusions. He's also got a great sense of humor, and I think I just intuitively trust his judgment because he (ironically) doesn't impose it, not even by implication; that's actually one of his biggest gifts. Nearly every other political speaker that I've ever heard, ever, lacks this basic, basic ability. And yeah, I'm pretty bitter about that.
It's actually the major reason why I hate politics and politicians (amateur and professional) and talking about and even thinking about it and so on. I just really hate partisanship; unless you can sound convincingly neutral, I will just generally consider you wrong to some degree, and yes, that's the heart of my 'anti-J' bias, I'll admit it. But. I love justice. I do; because even though I don't think it's impersonal, I do think it's neutral(!!).
I can't help but think that 'Justice' is a fellowship (a union?) between an INTP (like Noam Chomsky) and an ENFJ. But this is just a metaphor, heh.
Any right-thinking (intelligent) person not bent on American supremacy or alternatively mass destruction that doesn't achieve it anyway is likely to agree (and why the fuck would any intelligent person be bent on supremacy of any kind is a question I'd rather not consider too long); even so, most of the follow-up questions of the audience and my personal experience with the activist-level followers of Mr. Chomsky & others discourages me. I've heard people talk about this stuff before, and it's always propaganda in the other direction. Always some sort of rabid faith in the 'evil' of American gov't, etcetc.
I think those terms are both misleading and too simple. What's necessary is a massive, revolutionary method of information dissemination, not propaganda about our 'evil leaders', which likely turns off your average American much more than me. What's needed is an understanding of the forces at work and an awareness of our own goals and efforts to achieve them; since ideally, we're not trying to overthrow anyone, just establish a real semblance of global democratic process.
The main thrust of Chomsky's speech was that we face (at least) two sources of Armageddon, one more imminent: basically, he said the threat of nuclear war is as bad as ever, if not worse, and the current administration's foreign policies are driving the world faster towards domino-effect (re)armament, but the Clinton administration actually did as much (subtler? not really) damage in terms of going back on nuclear treaties. I did not know this-- in fact, everyone's been saying the nuclear threat is negligent, only reasonably to be expected from terrorist militants (this is a lie). On top of the growing re-armament, the United States is still going forward with the space arms/missile build-up (so you could theoretically hit anyone anywhere on the planet-- yaye), naturally also inspiring the other countries. I can't even think about that without feeling... indescribable. I think the phrase 'just how stupid are they' comes to mind (again).
The second major threat to world survival being environmental change/disaster, of course. Meh. This, I knew; it's why I quit following current events, overwhelmed, in the first place.
Even thinking about this too long makes me exhausted; I don't know how Noam Chomsky and all those campus activists handle it. I feel like they make it their job-- y'know, same old spiel, but. Trying to live as a 'regular citizen' who's aware of her world, it's a bit much (seeing as 'our survival as a species hangs by a thread' according to both Mr. Chomsky and my own estimate). I was actually sitting there thinking, 'thank god there are J types out there for whom implementing change in spite and because of their understanding/feelings is natural and not a Herculean effort at mass social engagement of any kind.' -.-
I really wanted a few trusted J-types to hide behind at some points, honestly (where's Ueki when I need him???). And like-- hahaha, maybe that's what they're there for :D And us P types can inform them of the stuff they're missing and help them integrate & consider alternatives :> Well. It could (does?? sometimes) work. Maybe.
Meh. I'm exhausted.
Also, the Once More With Feeling soundtrack seems particularly fitting today. I really feel like that sort of fearless readiness for self-sacrifice is all that is available to me, emotionally, on the largest scope. (And I just decided that Spike is such the classic, absolutely classic INFP like me gone sour/jaded/etc; especially considering William. Oh boy. And uber-especially listening to Rest In Peace, his OMWF solo-- that's so INFP it hurts, I swear (though as a soulless vampire, I believe he's an ISFP, with all the living-for-the-moment and not-brooding-like-Angel stuff-- but like, still intrinsically INFP, because being 'S' translates into him 'living out his dreams' as William). Which would make Buffy his ENFJ counterpart... mmm, balance. Um, I'll shut up now.)
But yeah... any idea that we're really 'safe' (if by 'we' you mean something other than 'me and my family/friends', and even then-- I mean...) is basically an illusion, yeah, but-- In breaking illusions, I think we find freedom.
~~
On yet another totally unrelated note:
blue_onion drew a really spot-on Ron&Hermione and Harry pic. Somehow it seems... like a real 'reinterpretation' while seeming endearingly familiar. And I love Harry's woebegone look. Oh dear oh dear, what shall he do. ♥.
