[hero/shadow = still #1 OTP. le sigh]

[reenka]

I've just finished 'Wolfskin' by Juliet Marillier, and while it's interesting and I like the main characters (one of which is the Plucky and Strong Yet Fragile and Feminine Heroine), I can't help it... the most intriguing part of the book is the bond between the straightforward, kind yet quick-to-anger warrior boy and the snarky, cunning, needy, lonely yet ruthless sociopathic boy whom he shared a blood-oath of friendship with during their childhood. Mmmm. The warrior-boy's denseness and simplicity and loyalty set against the other's insecurity and need to prove himself and sheer single-minded desire to get what he -wants-... oh, it's like music to my ears.... And yes, I admit, in its basest elements it's really proto!H/D to me.
    And much as I understand these two are 'straight' both by author intent and common sense in context of their times and history, I can't help it-- I can't help but feel -this- is the more striking love-story, no matter how honestly heterosexual the warrior boy may be. This is the archetypal relationship between Hero and Shadow, and to me, nothing could really equal it in meaning or intensity, since it represents the basic union of Light and Dark of everyone's nature.

It occurred to me that the reason I'm so very fascinated strikes to the very heart of the reason of why I slash, why close male friendship means so much to me-- and the emotional stuntedness and closed-in inability of the latter boy to communicate his real self sort of underlines the 'normal' situation. It's almost like-- almost like -all- boys are a little sociopathic compared to ourselves (the girls, I mean); it's like they're often this closed in and verbally eloquent about everything but what lies in their hearts, so scared and insecure and ruthless in their defensiveness.

It also reminded me of the exchange I recently had with fictualities about being able to see the surviving 'half' of a pairing happy after the 'end'-- in a situation like with Frodo and Sam, where Frodo had little left to give before he'd finally departed and Sam had his wife and children. In my natural inclination, I'd say 'settling' is bad, even if the person is unaware they're settling for something 'lesser' or not as intense and deeply vital. I'd rather a character be miserable with the one they can't bear to love or lose than content with the one who merely makes them uncomplicatedly happy. But then, I'm rather perverse. -.-

I was thinking (with some chagrin), of how friends normally tend to make you uncomplicatedly happy, especially female friends (in my experience). If a friend isn't monumentally messed up, your relationship isn't likely to be fraught or angsty in terms of betrayals and secrets and overall tragedy, though clearly misunderstandings and resentments are normal. Uh, this is all 'in my experience'. And so, perhaps this is only the life of a relatively tame, easy-going female like myself-- men are much more likely to hold things back, to be eaten up by ambition and divided loyalties and duties, to be rotted from the inside with feelings they simply -can't- express, to be-- emotional basketcases, basically. And of course... of course, that's why I love them.
    More to the point, that's why I love to slash them, leaving aside the hot boysex for a sec.

I can't really imagine a healthy relationship here, and can't guarantee this rift in the boy's soul can be mended with the love and faith another clueless boy can offer, but oh-- oh-- the very idea. The possibility. It is like the dream of somehow bridging the gulf between Self and Other; more desperate and dark than any mere love-story, but also more painfully close to the heart, perhaps.

Comments

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Hee! You could always become one of those take-charge type females that (some) boys like. Like, if you dress to impress, eventually (I hear) it pays off :)) Then again, everyone and their sister gets more play than me, so I may not know as much as I could :> You could always also try to be friends with them first-- 'cause you don't have to wait for that. And if they're too clueless after awhile, you could think of um, more desperate measures then :>

I think -some- boys (not a lot) want the same things as girls, but they tend to be either repressed or geeky. Personally, I go for repressed, because geeky/emotional is just too easy, and I likes me a challenge. But there -are- boys who're waiting for The Right One and they just don't know it-- however, this is The Great Female Myth, so there are people who'd laugh at this, but! It's just that most girls don't apply this discriminately enough, and use wishful thinking rather than careful analysis (by which I mean, get 'em drunk and get 'em talkin', ahahah).

...I try to imagine bashing anyone over the head, like, ever and fail :( On the bright side(?), once I lose, I'm more likely to kill you than thwap you or be mean. But uh, I haven't lost it that much yet (isn't that just REASSURING, ahahah? Yes, yes it is.)

[scoradh.livejournal.com]

Given that I'm too busy (with, er, writing and lj and fic) to brush my hair most mornings, I don't think that's gonna work for me. I'll probably just have to stick to the ... uh ...

Yeah, the cats and Celine Dion, that's it.

To be fair, I do have some boys that I could loosely call friends, which is an improvement for me. Mind, the only reason I ever spoke to the most gorgey one is because he's got a girlfriend.

Same here. I'm soooo pleasant to everyone. And then one day, I'm sure, I'll take my flatmates out individually and kill them one by one.

(That's actually a Maeve Binchy quote, btw. She is love.)

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

...or you could just give up and date desperate boys who don't know how sekritly cute they are and are too introverted to ask :D :D But that tends to mean 'emotionally fucked-up geek' :(


.......and then there's the ugly assholes :))

[scoradh.livejournal.com]

Darling, it's the getting 'a boy, any boy at all' to ask me out (or what we do ever here, which is to go with ... not quite the same thing) that's the problem. I could never ask a boy out. Not because I don't think it's cool, it's that the rejection would utterly, utterly crush me.

And next on Station Emo ...

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean-- in that I've definitely never asked anyone out. I'd probably rather die. However, that whole trick with getting to them first definitely works. Like, uh, do they have sci-fi/fantasy/writing/etc clubs at your school? Stuff like that. 'Safe' places where you talk (I made my mistake and 'talked' online with several of them, but the idea still holds, right?)

It's sort of like-- you find your target, right-- or at least, someone who doesn't freak you out & seems bearably attractive-- and you sort of... talk to him. And if that doesn't work (because it probably wouldn't with me!), you sort... well, I was gonna say stalk, but... occupy his space :))

...Okay, I'm just bullshitting, really, but you could always sort of pick out boys without ever doing anything, and then waiting for the moment to... inobtrusively move closer to their line of sight :D

[scoradh.livejournal.com]

They do have a sci-fi club at UCC, only I borrowed Neverwhere from their library in Freshers week and as yet have not figured out where they hold meetings so I can return it, much less find geeks. Though, technically, my class is full of geeks -- only, after five years of geekhood due to good marks, they are determined to scrub that stain from their personalities.

Hugging them whilst drunk tends to get your arse felt up, but that's Irish boys for you.

I'm tending towards the 'boys smell!' mindset right at the mo ...

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Well, they -do- smell, 'tis true. I'm just grateful when it's not weed or cigarettes or like, heavy alcohol, or if it is, it's not too strong ^^;;;

...Man, I've never met geeks in denial before. *is fascinated in spite of herself*

[scoradh.livejournal.com]

I'm guilty of the last two myself, so I'll say nothing ...

Warl, they're swots more that geeks, I guess. They have not reconciled themselves to the fact and swots = social death where I come from. Given that they're in med, they have a helluva lot to be in denial about.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Well, I think that's probably okay since um, that sort of person doesn't sound like fun to me either :)) But then I'm a complete lazy-ass who never studies and can't be bothered to do any more work than she *absolutely* has to... but I can see what you mean with the med-student thing. One imagines they think there's money in it :-? However, you're still not missing out on anything if it's just swottishness; like, does that even count? Well, perhaps it implies passable intelligence, but really, who cares about -that-, ahahah? *cough*