HI. (I'm Reena.)
Jan. 15th, 2006 09:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkaOkay, now I want to have a post just like Sara's, where I'm all upfront about fannish stuff (friending/defriending policies, what secretly bugs me, etc), but the truth is, my biggest thought when people who I don't have friended or know well defriend me is 'oh... I guess I don't write that much fic anymore, huh' or alternately 'oh... I guess they never did read those long rambly meta posts, huh'. Alternately, I'd made one anti-fanon!Draco comment too many. C'mon, YOU ALL KNOW I HAVE :D
I think I start from the assumption I confuse and fail to entertain people and work upward (therefore, if you do comment, it's a nice surprise-- otherwise, you have my longstanding bitterness and self-recrimination about my being too lame/long-winded/confusing/etc to excuse you). I guess that just sounds hideously passive-aggressive, but I honestly do realize the sorts of posts that 'reach out' to people and the sorts of fics that people want to read (funny smut, plotty smut, popular pairing) are the ones people will comment on, and it's totally normal. No pressure.
Of course, it bothers me if I know the person to defriend me that well, but usually I can guess why it happens, and also it doesn't happen very much.
On commenting: eh. I like lurkers, I like comments. I really -desperately- want to think I'm read, especially when it comes to my fics (don't we all-- though I love thoughtful crit better than honey), and I get pretty insecure about only 2-3 comments per fic, and also I'm more into it for the interesting conversations and new connections than pure blogging-- I mean, I don't post about my real life 'cause I don't feel inspired like that. But at the same time I know I don't necessarily invite comments a lot, with fic or meta. I'm amazed as many people as there are have me friended, and pretend you're not actually reading so as not to freak myself out. Like, DUDE. DUUUUUUUUDE. That's. That's... 297 people who usually don't say anything. Even my friends, generally, because there's only a small circle of maybe 5 people who tend to comment regularly at any one time-period and then go into 'sabbatical' (this circle shifts every few months or so)-- except for the perennial![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sistermagpie. Yes. That's only the people who have me on their flist. I mean. WHY??! If I thought about it too long, I'd be very confused (and possibly paranoid).
It can't be that 95% of you don't read or don't care (wouldn't you have defriended me?? ack! *hides & tries not to think about it*), but that's what I have to assume, right? The more positive option is that I'm confusing and/or you generally have nothing to say, but, uh, in a good way. Um.
No, seriously, if I consciously addressed all of you-- you-- out there-- yeah-- all the time, I'd totally freak out, so in a way it suits me that most people don't comment. I guess it's not that I'm a private person, exactly, in the sense that I want to control who reads or knows what-have-you about me, but. I -am- pretty shy, and only babble in a vaguely dissociated way, because this is 'online' and I'm not really there to have to look at everyone and be aware they're all paying attention right then. So there's that sense of disconnect/delay at the very least which allows me some breathing room.
Anyway, about the Defriending Amnesty thing: go ahead. If a whole mass of you rushes to defriend me, I'll know you were too embarrassed or whatever to do it before, and I won't be surprised, I suppose. It's not that I don't care, but it's also not that I want people to be tired or irritated by me or have to filter me out, y'know? I understand interests change, and I understand most people don't get to know me that well through this lj so they don't have a sense of personal connection, probably, so no personal feelings, right? Okay.
As for me-- I usually don't defriend, but if I do it's only 'cause the person hasn't posted in a really long time, or our interests have -really- heavily diverged. Sometimes I prune 'cause I get overwhelmed with how long it takes for me to read my flist (I'd much rather spend time on the net reading porn, for which it was invented. Hey, straight up.) It has never once been 'cause I didn't like them. Simple, yeah?
Trying to be more entertaining: meme, by way offuriosity!
You post a topic, list, category, whatever, in my comments section. (examples: "Top 5 Reasons To Like Draco Malfoy" or "Top 5 Crack Bunnies"). Then, in a separate post, I'll post the answers to all your Top 5 ideas, according to me.
I think I start from the assumption I confuse and fail to entertain people and work upward (therefore, if you do comment, it's a nice surprise-- otherwise, you have my longstanding bitterness and self-recrimination about my being too lame/long-winded/confusing/etc to excuse you). I guess that just sounds hideously passive-aggressive, but I honestly do realize the sorts of posts that 'reach out' to people and the sorts of fics that people want to read (funny smut, plotty smut, popular pairing) are the ones people will comment on, and it's totally normal. No pressure.
Of course, it bothers me if I know the person to defriend me that well, but usually I can guess why it happens, and also it doesn't happen very much.
On commenting: eh. I like lurkers, I like comments. I really -desperately- want to think I'm read, especially when it comes to my fics (don't we all-- though I love thoughtful crit better than honey), and I get pretty insecure about only 2-3 comments per fic, and also I'm more into it for the interesting conversations and new connections than pure blogging-- I mean, I don't post about my real life 'cause I don't feel inspired like that. But at the same time I know I don't necessarily invite comments a lot, with fic or meta. I'm amazed as many people as there are have me friended, and pretend you're not actually reading so as not to freak myself out. Like, DUDE. DUUUUUUUUDE. That's. That's... 297 people who usually don't say anything. Even my friends, generally, because there's only a small circle of maybe 5 people who tend to comment regularly at any one time-period and then go into 'sabbatical' (this circle shifts every few months or so)-- except for the perennial
sistermagpie. Yes. That's only the people who have me on their flist. I mean. WHY??! If I thought about it too long, I'd be very confused (and possibly paranoid). It can't be that 95% of you don't read or don't care (wouldn't you have defriended me?? ack! *hides & tries not to think about it*), but that's what I have to assume, right? The more positive option is that I'm confusing and/or you generally have nothing to say, but, uh, in a good way. Um.
No, seriously, if I consciously addressed all of you-- you-- out there-- yeah-- all the time, I'd totally freak out, so in a way it suits me that most people don't comment. I guess it's not that I'm a private person, exactly, in the sense that I want to control who reads or knows what-have-you about me, but. I -am- pretty shy, and only babble in a vaguely dissociated way, because this is 'online' and I'm not really there to have to look at everyone and be aware they're all paying attention right then. So there's that sense of disconnect/delay at the very least which allows me some breathing room.
Anyway, about the Defriending Amnesty thing: go ahead. If a whole mass of you rushes to defriend me, I'll know you were too embarrassed or whatever to do it before, and I won't be surprised, I suppose. It's not that I don't care, but it's also not that I want people to be tired or irritated by me or have to filter me out, y'know? I understand interests change, and I understand most people don't get to know me that well through this lj so they don't have a sense of personal connection, probably, so no personal feelings, right? Okay.
As for me-- I usually don't defriend, but if I do it's only 'cause the person hasn't posted in a really long time, or our interests have -really- heavily diverged. Sometimes I prune 'cause I get overwhelmed with how long it takes for me to read my flist (I'd much rather spend time on the net reading porn, for which it was invented. Hey, straight up.) It has never once been 'cause I didn't like them. Simple, yeah?
Trying to be more entertaining: meme, by way of
furiosity!You post a topic, list, category, whatever, in my comments section. (examples: "Top 5 Reasons To Like Draco Malfoy" or "Top 5 Crack Bunnies"). Then, in a separate post, I'll post the answers to all your Top 5 ideas, according to me.
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no subject
Date: 2006-01-17 09:53 pm (UTC)I'm like OMG now, because I don't know what I write Harry or Draco as! Mainly in denial, I think, or happy to have someone sucking his cock ... OH GOD I DON'T KNOW. I hope I haven't written either of them like that. I really do. But I will ACTIVELY watch from now on.
Eh, am just going to c&p that paragraph and look at it for a while and hope it sinks in.
Spam is what this livejournal thing is all about! I've learned ten times as much about people from spam than I ever do from reading their journal entries, which are often sparse or uninformative.
DO YOU SHARE, THEN, THE AWESOME TIRAMISU LURVE?!
And all you have to do is ... REMEMBER YOU'RE A WOMBLE!!
no subject
Date: 2006-01-17 10:05 pm (UTC)...I, er, didn't mean to preach from on high or anything-- this is just what annoys me, and your fic has never annoyed me to date :D I think people write what they perceive, pretty much, and I don't think you perceive Draco that way-- actually, it would be really hard for me to share a common ground with someone who truly & sincerely liked wimpy!Harry. I dunno, it's a thing. Even my friend who's into bottom!Harry STILL admits Draco's the wimpy one and is only topping Harry to SERVICE him, you see. Heh.
It is totally true-- you really can't get to know people from lj entries, 'cause. I myself totally sound pretty different (methinks) in casual comments 'cause when I let go & ramble to myself I sound... way more pompous than I am, prolly. 'Tis a shame, a shame I say.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-18 09:26 am (UTC)No, you weren't! The thing is, I think your opinions on their characters, especially in relation to each other, are really sound. That's why I take them into account so much. Obviously, in the end I'll write them the way I write them, but I try to tone down things that are 'wrong'. That's sort of the point. Yeah, I guess it's because I'm way more interested in how relationships start than in their course that the issue doesn't come up so much. (Aries thing, again. I can blame my every fault on being born in April, whee!)
You sound earnest. Yet that can be intimidating, I guess. I've always personally found that dumbing yourself down makes it easier to ingratiate yourself with people. The downside: you have to keep that up even if you don't want to. Don't change! (Unless you want to.) I like your Rambles!