[not...not.... HP META??!?!]

[reenka]

...Can one actually be pretentious but not insecure...?? This is a theoretical question, understand. Pretentiousness is something I find difficult to grasp mostly because it involves uh, wanting the approval of other people(?) and/or wanting to impress people(??) and/or uh, pretending you are something you're not. (As in, well, why would you do that unless you have self-esteem issues?) So basically, are all pretentious people secretly crying inside that they suck and no one loves them?

This is vaguely related to me thinking (after a marathon Draco-talk session with Madames Maya & Magpie-- I think my brain is still buzzing gently while naked Dracos spin about & about) that one of the major things I like about Draco is that as attention-starved and drama-queeny and whiny & narcissistic (and probably insecure as all hell) as he is, he's not pretentious in the sense that he never pretends to be anything but himself. He just -is- whoever he is, and while he can mask some emotion fairly well (not nearly as well as fanon!Draco, but we just won't go there), he doesn't seem to project a front. If he did, I would find him so difficult to like as to be unsalvageable (which is why I really do hate fanon!Draco... somehow, he seems to take that little bitchy-yet-cute shtick and make it into something manipulative & therefore not at all cute). And yes-- Draco is all about the cute, obviously. Obviously!!

I think I always like people who're honestly bitchy and needy and annoying, while disliking people who try to cover up these traits and 'act good' or 'bad' or 'cool' or whatever. Draco is simply too sucky at being cool to pull it off anyway. I mean, people would laugh. I would laugh. Harry would laugh. It would not be of the good. (This is why I love Transfigurations, partly-- it took fanon!Draco and made Harry laugh at him and mock him and not be impressed, which is so my dream come true. I mean, if there's anyone who likes pretentious 'coolness' less than me, it's Harry. It even turned him off his -dad- in that pensieve scene in OoTP, okay. Hello.)

I also realized that my opinion of Luna drops like 300% when I finally get reminded that yeah, she admitted to being lonely & desperate for company in HBP (multiple times, apparently). At least, it drops my ability to really want to get into her head, because in many ways it breaks type-- it becomes a less interesting character to me if she's going to do the Remus thing and need acceptance. I mean, clearly everyone (not psychotic) needs acceptance, but when you have a person with unique/heretical views, to need that acceptance so openly and uncomplicatedly kind of makes me question their intelligence, y'know? Like, you need some degree of independence and voluntary social isolation to be a free thinker. That's just how it works. Only fake quacks travel in herds, y'know? (That doesn't make sense at first glance, I know, but. This is, after all, why I admire lots of goths & indie kids & hippies & ravers & skaters & nerds & gamers and so on and so forth, but never became one.)
    It doesn't make sense that she'd be so easy to get close to and get along with if she's been snubbed so long and she truly still believes things other people would laugh at. It just doesn't work that way as far as I know.

I mean, it works if she -allows- company and gives people a chance-- not being too invested, that's easy. But you know, actually seriously needing attention creates a whole different type of personality altogether, it seems to me....

...In other news: I am so uncool, I know, but I will -never- bloody get an S2 layout, ahahah. -.-;

Comments

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I think my only discomfort is with any implication that Harry wants attention than he 'should' or than is 'normal' or reasonable for him, like, uh, because that's one of the ways people who don't like Harry put him down (like, oh, he complains but he's really desperate for everyone to lick his butt or something). Like, I think he's pretty normal but on the low side because of the whole... not particularly -wanting- to go out and make an impression on strangers, though perhaps that might have to do with them all knowing he's the Boy Who Lived. It just doesn't seem like he thrives on it, not -particularly- much, anyway--? That's all I meant. I'm not sure why I even brought that up anymore, btw -.-;

With Luna, it's less about 'would she give up her earrings' and more 'would she compromise herself in any significant way', which I doubt she would because of that thing with authenticity, as you said. I don't think Remus has any particular issue with putting up a front or what have you ('cause he does), but Luna would. I do think we see her saying intelligent or insightful things sometimes, if a bit off-kilter, though I can't give you any quotes, so it's not -all- about her little quirks, which I always found rather irrelevant though omnipresent. It's like, in a way she has a more fresh/unbiased outlook on (certain) things than most people, and that's not just a quirk.

I agree it's likely she has different needs; that's totally in keeping with my initial impression of her and my whole thing where I Mary Sued her all to hell. It's perfectly possible to have needs that -don't- include being desperate for human contact above all else, though one may need it still. However, I think Luna's apparent self-centeredness is less about demanding focus on herself and more about not being aware of the 'right' amount of modesty/sensitivity she should have. I totally know people with low social skills (myself included) who make the common mistake of just, um, being so solipsistic that they can't help but see everything through their own special lens of self, in an oblivious sort of way. It's a disconnect of sorts, I guess. I think typical for nerds ^^;;; Like, 'what do you mean, this isn't deeply fascinating?? Aren't you intrigued, I found that... blahblahblah....'

I think with Remus, it's not that I meant he's not himself but rather he's more socially aware/intelligent and thus more willing to see his situation rationally enough to realize there need to be choices & compromises made. I don't think Luna even sees it as a choice, and wouldn't take it if it existed because in the end her ideas are more important to her than people (well, she's probably Ravenclaw for a reason where Remus isn't). This is the basic problem I have with needy-for-a-friend/boyfriend!Luna, especially -so- needy she'd tolerate more of the same abuse/condescention that's coming from everyone else coming from that person too (ie, Luna/Draco). It just ain't gonna happen; she's not gonna stick around if you laugh at her because if she was going to do that she would've done it already.

I don't think she'd be popular unless she changed her whole personality anymore than Neville would be popular even if he stopped being chubby and clumsy. They're just dorks. Teenagers especially smell it on people; not that I'm bitter (precisely), it's just been my experience that dorks don't get popular no matter what, unless you mean with other dorks. And actually sometimes even with other dorks (like Luna and Neville), the bonding doesn't really happen because they're just too different. I guess I take the whole believing-in-nonsensical-creatures thing as a metaphor for something like being a fantasy-reading RPG-playing videogame-obsessed Wicca-practicing teenager who everyone avoids; I mean, it doesn't help that I -was- that teenager (more or less), but still, Luna rings those bells for me. The clothes are only a symptom, it seems to me.

Though I do know you'd not treat her condescendingly 'cause you just don't treat people you consider out of their gourd condescendingly in the first place~;) Though that bit with pretending to be weird... ouch. Straight for the jugular, there :>