[meh]

[reenka]

So. I've been spoilered (don't worry, that's as far into detail as I'm about to get). It's been... a bit of a trial, wiping my mind semi-clean, but I've managed to sort of... pull myself out of that awful, sudden certainty that I'm going to hate it and I already do. So that's good.

I've been trying to figure out why HP book spoilers mess with my mind whereas I'm totally fine with any other type of spoilers I can think of. I don't seek them out unless I'm iffy about buying or watching whatever it is, but otherwise knowing what'll happen doesn't intefere with my enjoyment 'cause I almost always concentrate on style/execution over sheer content (er, what most people call plot).

With HP, though... I think it's because it's my main fanfic universe-- it exists almost as much (if in a different form) in my own mind as it does in writer's. I've imagined the future in it countless times, so as soon as I get the vaguest guideline or spoiler, my mind immediately runs away with me. I can't help but interpret and extrapolate on the material myself, which is to me, what a spoiler actually is: when your opinion of the events is influenced directly, before you know the entire story 'as is'. Normally, with other canon, I would be merely finding out other people's reactions and some facts, but not actually forming my own half-baked reactions until I see it for myself (if I see it). That's what I can't stand, with HP: that I can't help but have an immediate mini-fanfic spring up in my head. Urgh.

It just figures, because the way I got over my spoiler woes was to have a non-fandom non-slasher friend tell me a plausible opposite scenario that'd fit the spoiler (post-HBP, which again gives me that sense of space & freedom).

It's odd: as much as I enjoy new canon to play with, there's this sudden claustrophobic sense that no matter -what- happens, a lot of my previous ideas are likely to be Jossed, and that really sends me into a panic, since I got quite attached to my angsty little post-OoTP world. Not that I expect or want canon to just fulfill my desires, but one can't help but feel trepidation at the idea of imminent major mental restructuring. Spoilers just make the restructuring start running on empty before there's any real support system, I guess.
    On the bright side, this is really really pushing me to finish my post-OoTP H/D novella before I start reading HBP :>

Comments

[balfrog.livejournal.com]

finish my post-OoTP H/D novella before I start reading HBP :>
yes! that's the BEST thing you can do! write like mad before Friday night/Saturday whichever. So not selfish in anyway request.
:D

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Haha, I guess I could put off reading it if I'm not done.

Man, fandom both inspires me and drives me insane with H/D hate sometimes -.- Maybe it's... er... best to avoid.

[balfrog.livejournal.com]

eh... bad days. but I read monochromal's Transformations today, and my o my o my did THAT make me happy. And that fight. and the violence. And the Draco as he is philosophy. yeah. happy H/D reader today.

[cercaluna.livejournal.com]

finish my post-OoTP H/D novella

Ahaha. GO FOR IT. Dude, I have written probably 70,000 words in the past three weeks for The Fic, so you can do it! Er! And I just noticed that frogslayr mentioned it right there! Aww. :D :D

P.S. If you read it. And hate it. And feel guilty because it is dedicated to you. That is okay. ♥. You know that you are just like, my personal H/D guide, or something! :)

[cercaluna.livejournal.com]

Also, man, the spoilers excited me and made me get into a frenzied e-mail dialogue with several people, but I'm going to miss the angsty-post-OotP world, too. So much potential! That I can't help fearing JKR will destroy (with her wild shipping tendencies). :| alas.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Heheh,the one thing I'm not really afraid of is who ends up with whom. If anything, het!Harry would be like going 'nyah!!' to all those people who wanted Harry/his hand in canon, or thought that he doesn't have time/inclination for romance and has to be the tragic hero, omg. ^^;; Maybe I'm just bitter & also resigned to H/G. :|
I've just been wibbling 'cause the spoilers tell without telling, and that's been driving me mad. I've only achieved zen by thinking 'it could go several ways' and forcing myself to stop jumping to conclusions, positive or negative (and of course my mind automatically picks negative if in doubt, when I'm worried to start with).

On the bright(?) side, I suspect the angst will only get worse for Harry :))
Being excited kinda sucks if you're excited about specific things you're not sure about. I wanna just be open, y'know. ^^;

[cercaluna.livejournal.com]

Why is JKR all shippy? WHY? I don't care if Harry is like, "Mrs. Weasley was afraid of Mr. Weasley dying," but for him to observe, "Oh, ____ and ____ are so in love" (YOU KNOW WHO I MEAN) makes me want to cry. I could rant for hours about both pairings (and have), it is just not right. I am hopeful for it, though. Despite my horrible feelings of trepidation.

More angst for Harry! I agree - especially taking the death into consideration - and think it catapults him into Book 7 spectacularly and oh Harry, so much angry love!

As for the other spoiler, I cannot help it, I have lots of hope.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I suspect it's just so it's not -all- doom & gloom and to keep in normal (that is, they -are- just teenagers, etc). I don't want Harry to be like, 'oh, I'm the lone hero, therefore I CANNOT LOVE'. Heh. But yeah, um, he's still oblivious so anvils would just make me laugh coming from him. I really hope the R/Hr doesn't happen through a third-person Harry-narration sort of way. "And of course you must be happy together, my friends." Ugh. Hahah it can't be that bad, though ^^;;

I will be strong & read the books with my Harry tunnel-vision on :D Somehow I suspect even if my shippy ways take a solid beating with this book or the next, I'll still wanna write like a dozen Harry genfics -.- Because I am just that sad ^^;

...I'm just afraid Draco becomes a princess in distress... y'know, pitiable. But. I have hope he really will become something more... uh, representative of Slytherin before Harry accepts him/his existence or something. Nnngh. This is why I think spoilers are bad for me-- I just can't help wanting to have it my way if I get to thinking about it ><;; But. More hope than before, yes :>

[cercaluna.livejournal.com]

WAIT I THOUGHT THE R/HR DID NOT HAPPEN. TO MY DISMAY.

Princess Draco! :D I know. I am trying to have faith, though!

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

so it did -not- happen?? well, er, yet, I guess :)) :)) AHAHAHAH um. *coughs confusedly* It's cute to be counter-spoilered, 'cause that means it's all soupy in my head now :D :D :D

...You just KNOW that Draco is a princess, of course he is, but, uh. I uh... like to leave the bulk of that for the NC17 H/D fics, y'know...

[cercaluna.livejournal.com]

FORGET WHAT I SAID. When you said you'd heard the spoilers, I thought you meant all of them! NEVER MIND.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHAH ...
....
you do know I'm like, a R/Hr shipper & thought it was obviously going to happen anyway, right??? heeeeeeeeeeeeee ♥

[balfrog.livejournal.com]

I saw the dedication to reenka - and wow, it fit. Twas amazing! (I wanted to recc it, but chinae already did, so didn't want to "steal a rec." But it was so so good.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Omg, yeah-- the bulk of my fic (80,000+ words) was written 2 years ago in August, so I dig that :> :> It's mostly the boring fill-in parts I'm avoiding now~:))
And! I was so excited to see your fic <3<3<3<3 And knowing Big Bang had any part in inspiring you makes me all kinds of happy! >:D! I will read it (er... though sometimes it takes me awhile to sit still long enough, so it might be a few days) ♥
It is yours, and you know I'll at the very least worship the ground/paper your words spill on, hehe :>

[cercaluna.livejournal.com]

I promise it is not like Two Lost Souls. :))))

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Heheh I'm not avoiding the angst these days anyway, y'know ;))
And! Yes, while I wouldn't just bet it's 'better' outright, of course it's gonna be different 'cause your writing & themes are ever-evolving :>

[cercaluna.livejournal.com]

I like to think of this as the antithesis of Two Lost Souls, by which I mean, this time I remembered that canon existed

I am glad to have evolved. :D

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to have evolved in parallel, ehehe :D :D
I sort of groan when I look at my older fics, but you know. They had their bright side, if nothing else in tragicomic value :>

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

I feel your pain, but in reverse. I am worried I have read spoilers that make me happy and I won't be. :-)

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

That's the silly thing-- when I first heard it, I was happy too-- but then I started making up my own context/meaning and upset myself to the point where I became convinced that it's the worst of all worlds and I cannot ship H/D anymore. *facepalm* ahahah. I have... a slightly overactive imagination, you might say :))

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

there's this sudden claustrophobic sense that no matter -what- happens, a lot of my previous ideas are likely to be Jossed

We call that "Getting Canon-Fucked".

And by "Jossed" I'm guessing you mean Whedon?

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Heheh, I like canon-fucked too :D Though Jossed is from the Buffy fandom, yeah, mostly 'cause I think Joss Whedon was particularly famous for fucking with people's heads & ideas of what's gonna happen :>

...Really, it's all a bit pointless, 'cause even if I finish my novella before HBP, it's not like I'm gonna post it beforehand (still needs beta), and people wouldn't pay attention much in the first few flushed weeks of canon-drunkennness. Wah.

*feels the AU pain, omg*

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

I ♥ AUness. If nobody else lavishes attention and praise upon you, I will. AU is like, one of my favourite things in fandom ever. EVen when it's bad AU.

And remember: If slash relied on canon, we would all just be het shippers. A ship that never really floats can never really sink, y'know what I mean?

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Hee! <3! ...Though what with the beta, it'll prolly be at least two weeks after HBP before I post anyway ^^;; This in the best-case-scenario where I actually -finish- it ^^;; Then again, till the very end of High School I didn't really believe I would finish that either :>

Well, I'm not really afraid JKR will sink H/D as a ship, but by expanding/developing him, she might make Draco into someone I don't feel like writing... or she might make my fics just -ridiculous- as a version of 6th year. Um. Though I love total AUs, like in an utterly different world... though that works more in some fandoms than others (very well in Buffy & Gundam Wing from what I've seen... I doubt you could do it very easily with Star Wars, and the Muggle HP AUs sort of get to me most times).

Mostly I just wanna finish writing so I won't rack my brain helpless as to how to make my poor 6th year fic more in line with canon. ^^;;; It'll be a laugh in some respects, I'm sure~:))

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

she might make Draco into someone I don't feel like writing.

Pfff. I bet you're more afraid she'll do something weird to Harry :P.

And dude! You helped run the Big Bang! I don't think anyone can accuse you of not knowing the 6th year boys before the 6th book came out.

And really, as long as you don't kill off a Malfoy parent and use that as some magical Draco-Redemption device, or make him the victim of previous child-abuse at the hands of daddy, I am a happy girl. :D *is a Dracowhore*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Hee. You're right, I'm kinda worried Harry will lose his edge and become semi-normal (enough to date and/or see reason... uh, which is probably a good thing in the larger scheme of things, but). I'm also worried, what with a whole chapter dedicated to him... we'll know more about Draco & there'll be less freedom to maneuver. I really meant it when I said I liked my 2D Draco, precious ^^;;

Heheh, and yeah, I know -my- 6th year boys, but I'm willing to bet that Rowling went off in a totally different direction, so it'll be a bit of a mental stretch to read it (& write it) when we know it's not how it went down. Though I'm too attached to my fics to just drop them now :>

(Though it's reassuring to know I have at least one reader, hehe.)

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

I'm kinda worried Harry will lose his edge and become semi-normal

I love the way you see that as a problem. *hugs you to death* XD XD

I think no matter how 3D Draco gets, there are some things that won't change. Like Ron & Hermione, they developed as the books went on, but were still stupid McRedhead of fiery temper and Miss know-it-all. Draco will still be the Litte Bully Loser of Sneering no matter how fleshed out he gets XD.

Heh, that sounds funny. "Fleshed out". "Potter, dooes my bum look big in this characterisation?". I don't think you can really rid a character of that level of shallowness in one book.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Awww! Stupid McRedhead, omg! That is the cutest EVAR, and now I'm full of woe 'cause like, I've never found a good enough Ronnish fanart so I could make an icon of him :(( That'd totally be the quote :(( I ♥ my Stupid McRedhead <3<3<3<3 heeee :D :D
*is actually reassured :D :D*

...People who want normal!Harry sadden me, really. They do not see the true glory. Heathens!!1

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

Awh, I'll have to make you some fanart of Stupid MeRedhead so you can icon him XD.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

*cackles craftily*

*GLOMPS* :D

[malafede.livejournal.com]

AUs are totally the shit. I don't know why there's such a stigma on them in this fandom. I love AUs. I love "Ok, let's pretend the new canon hasn't happened AUs" and I love "What if Lockhart was TBWL" AUs. The only AUs I don't like are the high school ones (because they all read like Dawson Creek) or the insane asylum ones. Though, I once the read a Sasunaru insane asylum one that was kinda good.