reenka: (hate = love)
[personal profile] reenka
Sometimes I really... really love fandom. Man.

Just when I think I've seen everything in terms of the things people can do to fanon!Draco or whatever-- I clicked on an aff.net fic with the summary, 'When Harry walks in and finds his enemy in tears what could possibly happen to bring these two together.' Because clearly I haven't read enough emo!Draco fics lately... except it wasn't about Draco. Note the telling 'his enemy' bit.
    Yes, indeedy. I've found the first H/D fic (so far) where Draco's name isn't even Draco, but Allan (because the author-- who's not the one posting, but her 'friend'-- apparently 'doesn't like' the name Draco). I quote, "They act the same way it is just a name change." :D :D :D
    I LOVE THE WORLD >:D

This just puts a whole new spin on the old chestnut about how badfic authors change everything but characters' names :D :D 'Cause fear no more, gentle readers: that too, could be eliminated if you just have the will. The courage. The fortitude and creative vision. Verily.

The most beautiful part, I think, is that nearly every reviewer (mind you, this is -aff.net-!) then reacted with woe and outrage at this despicable abuse of canon, and random fangirls claimed that though they too, may not like the name 'Draco', but it's the canon that counts :D :D And then someone questioned passionately how could -anyone- dislike such a glorious, beloved and honorable name. Yes, indeed.
    To quote one of the reviewers: who the hell is Allan?!?!? Last time I checked there was only one Malfoy heir and his name is DRACO or DARCONIS. Not allan.
~~

EDIT - To mark this momentous occasion, I wrote a drabble about (who else?) Prokofius Potter & Allan Malfoy. Ahem.


- Allan-world -


When Prokofius got up in the morning, he was certain something was off, but he wasn't quite sure what.

He put on (mismatched) socks absent-mindedly, and ambled down to breakfast, listening to Ron's reassuring babble with half an ear. He slurped at his oatmeal and pondered his hard, hard life as Malfoy stalked toward him, a determined look on his pinched face.

"PP!" Malfoy called, grinning meanly. Sometimes Malfoy also called him 'Prok-boy' and 'Fie-fie', but apparently today was a day for acronyms and getting on Prokofius' nerves. But then, every day was a day for that.

"Malfoy," Prokofius said dully. "Why don't you just crawl back under the rock you, er, crawled from?" he said, wincing. That really sounded better in his head.

"Is that the best you can do, Fie-fie?"

Ron choked on a piece of bread, but grumbled loyally and started to stand up. "Leave Prok-- I mean, leave him alone, you ferret-head!"

Prokofius slid forward a little on the bench, wishing Allan would find a new source of entertainment. He suspected he wouldn't bug Prokofius so much if he just got a new wide-screen TV like the one Dudley had; Prokofius had no proof, however.

"Can't Proks speak for himself?" Allan jeered.

"Go find a Hufflepuff to-- I mean, go pick on someone your own size, Malfoy," Prokofius said forbiddingly. "I have better things to do than listen to your pointless taunts."

"Ooh, big words from a big man," Malfoy grinned. "You haven't grown too big for your britches, have you? That would be frightening, considering their size...."

"Malfoy," Prokofius growled.

"Yes dear?" Allan chirped sweetly.

"Later, -Allan-."

Allan smirked at the sudden attentive look Hermione was giving him and nodded. "Sure thing, Potty," and he flounced off.

"What did you mean, 'later'?" Ron asked, chewing thoughtfully on a noodle.

"Something seems a bit off today. Can't really put a finger on it." Hermione sipped her orange juice. "It's just a matter of time, of course."

Prokofius groaned. This probably meant using long words and possibly twisting the truth a little, and he hadn't even gotten to his coffee yet.

Date: 2005-07-06 01:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notrafficlights.livejournal.com
I LOVE THE WORLD >:D

You're a crazy masochist. You do know that, right?

Date: 2005-07-06 01:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
Awwww, I like to think I just have a ... unique sense of humor :>

Though, I mean... yeah ^^;;

Date: 2005-07-06 01:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] complete.livejournal.com
OMGOMG~! At the end did they hug and kiss and did Allan say something to the effect of, "OH HARRY I THINK I LOVE YOU LET'S GET MARRIED. I DON'T CARE WHAT MY FATHER SAYS HE DOESN'T KNOW ME LIKE YOU DO. WOE IS MY LIFE BUT AHHHHH I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH. MAKE SWEET SWEET HARRY/ALLAN LOVE TO ME."?

Date: 2005-07-06 01:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
*dead*
...nah, it's a WIP, of course. In the grand tradition.
That said, it does end with this song-lyric (*inflicts*):
"Another day goes without any change
The feeling we live with still remains
We're stuck in a hole and we're searching
For anything to hold onto
There has to be somewhere that we can be safe
From the lives we live each day
There has to be somewhere that we can be far away..."

:D :D :D

Date: 2005-07-06 01:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] complete.livejournal.com
Oh my, that's just evil. But then, every H/A-D (looks like Albus Dumbledore there.. can we smell a plot twist???) WIP isn't complete without some fantastic pop-rock band's lyrics gently swelling your heart with compassion at the end of each chapter.

Date: 2005-07-06 01:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
Heh, I suspect both swelling & weeping with compassion (or otherwise? it's a Draco!Dumbledore-like thing to do) would be encouraged ^^;;
... I am deeply tempted to write a fic where I rename Harry something like Prokofius... why not, I feel. I've just been blind to the possibilities till now :>

Date: 2005-07-06 02:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] complete.livejournal.com
I think Prokofius/Allan is my new OTP.

You must write Prokofius!Harry now or I think I'll weep.

Date: 2005-07-06 02:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
...
When Prokofius got up in the morning, he was certain something was off, but he wasn't quite sure what.

He put on (mismatched) socks absent-mindedly, and ambled down to breakfast, listening to Ron's reassuring babble with half an ear. He slurped at his oatmeal and pondered his hard, hard life as Malfoy stalked toward him, a determined look on his pinched face.

"PP!" Malfoy called, grinning meanly. Sometimes Malfoy also called him 'Prok-boy' and 'Fie-fie', but apparently today was a day for acronyms and getting on Prokofius' nerves. But then, every day was a day for that.

"Malfoy," Prokofius said dully. "Why don't you just crawl back under the rock you, er, crawled from?" he said, wincing. That really sounded better in his head.

"Is that the best you can do, Fie-fie?"

Ron choked on a piece of bread, but grumbled loyally and started to stand up. "Leave Prok-- I mean, leave him alone, you ferret-head!"

Prokofius slid forward a little on the bench, wishing Allan would find a new source of entertainment. He suspected he wouldn't bug Prokofius so much if he just got a new wide-screen TV like the one Dudley had; Prokofius had no proof, however.

"Can't Proks speak for himself?" Allan jeered.

"Go find a Hufflepuff to-- I mean, go pick on someone your own size, Malfoy," Prokofius said forbiddingly. "I have better things to do than listen to your pointless taunts."

"Ooh, big words from a big man," Malfoy grinned. "You haven't grown too big for your britches, have you? That would be frightening, considering their size...."

"Malfoy," Prokofius growled.

"Yes dear?" Allan chirped sweetly.

"Later, -Allan-."

Allan smirked at the sudden attentive look Hermione was giving him and nodded. "Sure thing, Potty," and he flounced off.

"What did you mean, 'later'?" Ron asked, chewing thoughtfully on a noodle.

"Something seems a bit off today. Can't really put a finger on it." Hermione sipped her orange juice. "It's just a matter of time, of course."

Prokofius groaned. This probably meant using long words and possibly twisting the truth a little, and he hadn't even gotten to his coffee yet.

Date: 2005-07-06 02:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] complete.livejournal.com
Oh god, I weeped tears of laughter. Thank you.

I can already picture Prokofius Potter and Allan Malfoy's little love child. Aww.

Date: 2005-07-06 04:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] complete.livejournal.com
Look at them!

Sergio! Image

And his twin brother Claude!
Image

Date: 2005-07-06 08:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
...I must admit I'm rather disturbed by Claude...
Methinks I've forgotten Dan's sekrit past as a two-bit theater actor and sometime cross-dresser ^^;;

Date: 2005-07-06 05:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] balfrog.livejournal.com
heee heee heee heee! Stroke of Genius! But of COURSE Draco want's to change his name! What kind of self-respecting non-bottom boy has a name like Draco anyway?

Date: 2005-07-06 06:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
:D :D He probably sekritly wants to be named Fred, but can't bear the shame of it 'cause it's tainted by a Weasley :D

Date: 2005-07-06 02:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zentiis.livejournal.com
unfortunatly i too have come across that writer....i find the name change irritating at best, the worst response from me being clicking the little "x" at the top right hand corner of my screen.
*shakes head in disgust* how is ALLAN a better name than DRACO...? *won't ask because i'm SURE i don't want to know the answer*

Date: 2005-07-06 02:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
I think I'm too amused to be irritated.
...But then I'm a bad bad person who laughs at others' fic-writing misfortunes. Er. Sometimes ^^;;

Date: 2005-07-06 02:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/
*shakes with laughter* Darconis? Yes. Yes. Much better.

Date: 2005-07-06 03:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
:D :D :D
Darconis Luscious Rutabaga Malfoy. *nodnod*

Date: 2005-07-06 03:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/
Ru- -ru --- bwahahahahaha

Date: 2005-07-06 05:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] penelope-z.livejournal.com
I am currently eating a fruit yoghurt and reading Hornblower fics. I shall rename Harry as Horatio Rhubarb Potter. Hmm, I think I like him already. Perhaps writers when facing a creative block, can play 'I spy' for inspiration and use the results as character names. It will be the ultimate meta. 'I spy with my little eye, something beginning with A.' Abacus Malfoy! Aubergine Malfoy! Air freshener Malfoy! etc. It will be a bold step ahead.

Date: 2005-07-06 06:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
Dammit, I should've read this comment before writing Prokofius!Harry. I find Horatio Rhubarb!Harry much more inspiring-- he can then be part of a proud tradition of heroes and sportsmen... of sorts. Yes.
....Air freshener Malfoy might almost be too cruel, but not quite.
I suspect he might just be the breath of fresh air fandom needs >:D

But in the end, my imagination is lacking, since I kept wanting to write 'Harry' instead. Hard to break those pesky habits, man.

Date: 2005-07-06 06:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ethrosdemon.livejournal.com
I've found the first H/D fic (so far) where Draco's name isn't even Draco, but Allan (because the author-- who's not the one posting, but her 'friend'-- apparently 'doesn't like' the name Draco). I quote, "They act the same way it is just a name change."

WOT? omg. *cracking up*

Date: 2005-07-06 06:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
It's because Allan is such a manly, beautiful name-- just like Draco. I mean, except not -Draco- Draco, the -idea- of Draco... hehehe :D right ...-.-

Date: 2005-07-06 06:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cercaluna.livejournal.com
HAHA. OMG. Hahaha.

Proks! :))))

Date: 2005-07-06 06:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
It's like Prongs, except new & improved >:D :D
Clearly, Prongs knew what he was doing when he named him. Er :>

Date: 2005-07-06 07:07 am (UTC)
ext_6866: (Yum!)
From: [identity profile] sistermagpie.livejournal.com
ROTFL! Woo-hoo! That's it, Allan it is. Allan Darconis Malfoy!

Prokofius is good, Reena, but it just can't compare to the wonder that is Allan Malfoy.

Date: 2005-07-06 06:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
...Well, -nothing- can compare to Allan Darconis Malfoy, possibly not even himself :D :D Well, especially not himself, dowdy as he is >:D
*giggles her head off quietly*

Date: 2005-07-06 08:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shaggirl.livejournal.com
Allan is a weenie name. Allan Malfoy. *snickers*

This made me laugh so much I saved it in my fic rec memories: Allan World (Prokofius/Allan, PG)

Date: 2005-07-06 06:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
What are you saying, weenie name, Draco is much weenier, I'm sure that's why Draco likes it >:D

HEE!! PROKOFIUS/ALLAN 4EVAH!!1 <3<3
*sekritly wants badges*

Date: 2005-07-06 01:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elsie.livejournal.com
*masturbates to the name Allan*

I think I'm going to start an annual holiday in honor of this momentous entry. July 6 will be Prokofius/Allan Day. Or perhaps I should make it monthly, so as to enjoy the P/A goodness more often.

Somebody needs to make icons!!!

Date: 2005-07-06 08:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
You're right, I mean. If we make a Harry/Draco holiday, the world would just... never understand. And also Prokofius/Allan sounds much better.
*marks calendar*
In their honor, we should all listen to emo songs and sneer at people. :>

Date: 2005-07-06 04:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stellabelle.livejournal.com
That fic is my favorite fic in the whole entire universe. How did you KNOW? I mean, sure I forgot about it for a while, but that was an ACCIDENT, and now you have reminded me of it and I am so happy OH SO HAPPY.

Um.

Oh, and your drabble? Brought tears to my eyes. Tears of glee deep understanding.

Date: 2005-07-06 08:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
Man, you've been braching out! I thought you only trolled ff.net :D But aff.net is where the porn is, thusly all fangirls go there to wank rest their eyes. Yes.

And I've always wanted to make someone cry with enlightenment. Right before I gave them a noogie.
Soon my dream shall be complete, I can -feel- it! :D ♥

Date: 2005-07-06 06:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] black-dog.livejournal.com
I'm just worried about what happens when Allan's father, the sinister Ken Malfoy, finds out, and turns him over to the evil dark lord, Steve.

Date: 2005-07-06 06:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
*falls over laughing*
I think you've just made my month in fandom >:D :D :D
...And his mother Barbie... and his pet schnauzer, Betty... :D

PP can take care of Steve any day of the week, man.

Date: 2005-07-06 08:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] black-dog.livejournal.com
PP can take care of Steve any day of the week, man.

You're right -- in fact I think Steve might even have trouble pronouncing Prokofius, what with those snaky lips of his. Which would be ridiculous.

But what is his metal-armed minion, Dennis, up to?

Date: 2005-07-06 11:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
Dennis is planning a take-over of the world of dry canned goods and/or telling Har-- Prokofius he's his long-lost uncle and begging for protection.

...I suspect Steve is more than a little intimidated when he realizes his minions will figure out that Prokofius has a longer name than he does, someday >:D

Date: 2005-07-07 06:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] black-dog.livejournal.com
his minions will figure out that Prokofius has a longer name than he does

This sort of issue tended to generate obsessive teasing among members of "The D Team," which was one reason why "B.A." Snape got frustrated and left.

*It is in my power to resist this temptation . . . *

Date: 2005-07-08 01:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
Now I can't help but wonder what 'B.A.' stands for. I hope it's not 'Bad Arse' Snape, revealing his parent's sekrit past as motorcycle enthusiasts (one more reason to hate Sirius & also covet his ride?)

The D Team is simply inspired >:D Though all in all I can see them disbanding simply 'cause they convince themselves they're really too laid-back & would rather drink some beer and play hoops with the Muggles. Or, y'know, not.

Date: 2005-07-08 10:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] black-dog.livejournal.com
Well, on the original "A Team," B.A. officially stood for "Bad Attitude," but I think this was family-TV-speak for Badass. :)

Though, I have to say I really like your image of Steve's followers as a bunch of delinquent stoners hanging out in the park shooting hoops.
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