(why I will never be cool... but at least I'm sane)

[reenka]

Ack! lasultrix! Happy Birthday! If only I could write for any fandom, even HP, I'd try to make something you'd like, but as it is, here's a lame heart: ♥!!1
~~

You know... I read lj randomly sometimes, and I'm often a bit frazzled... people are weird, people are wacky, somewhat insane and good with grilled cheese, what have you... but I know love when I see it. This quote on how those badfics that spring on you halfway by jacquez is love:

    . . .you read, and you feel vaguely puzzled, like there is something you are not quite getting, and you think maybe the author is being clever and the pieces will come into place, and towards the end you are seized with the horrid suspicion that instead, the author has a view of the world that is so alien to you that you feel as though Cthulhu has just risen up out of your toilet and started making himself a grilled cheese sandwich on the hot water heater.

You know, just yesterday I tried to be fair and said, "well, I don't know if I can be sure the things I think are batshit crazy really are"-- but... hell, who am I kidding? Crazy is when it smells like cheese. <3

PS. Skimming bethbethbeth's post for yet more smartass replies, there's also junediamanti's priceless contribution to the proper fic labelling woes:

    . . .Warning: This story contains abysmal grammar and writing, more canon rape than a teenager's sugar high mpreg story, and concepts so vile that a civilised society would hunt down the author and kill them.

Hahah, I love the 'concepts so vile' part. People kind of get lost in flaming some more controversial ideas/practices and saying they're 'morally wrong' or whatever, but often enough it's not the kink that's the problem but rather the overall view of humanity implied which annoys one. Like, I personally have few to none really ingrained squicks-- I can be sold on most things okay. It's when I feel the dignity of a character's personhood is somehow... ignored for the sake of kink that I get annoyed, especially if this perpetuates some stupid stereotype, like about women all being passive, weepy and in need of a big strong man to rescue them, say. This is an example of 'concept so vile', to me-- that is, I wouldn't want someone to not be able to write it, but I think its popularity is problematic as far as being a reflection on the society that produced it. Though clearly I would hope for education/emancipation rather than hunting down the writer or burning the book... and even there, there are often underlying issues at hand and such.

Seriously now (because I can't help myself), being so judgmental as to call a concept 'vile' is problematic (and yet just human nature). I am amused by the quote because it does mockingly reflect an impulse to reject a certain type of thinking in a fic more than anything. For instance, there's a frame of mind that makes fannish depictions of ukes tolerate emotional abuse from their semes-- and I've seen this in some H/D fic. I'm talking about what's probably my most hated H/D fic ever, but I don't think the writer is at fault, not entirely. The problem is a pervasive emotional issue still plaguing modern society; it's difficult to really deal with it in any one incarnation. It's not simply 'vile'-- it's symptomatic of something bigger, usually, if it's really that offensive.

In some ways, I suppose we can't really disparage stories for the world-views they espouse, because for all we know some of the current old classics were either socially uber-conservative or too progressive-- and thus offensive & vile or 'crazy'-- in their time. This is the kind of dangerous slippery-slope thinking that leads to banned books. And yet... it's a thorny issue, isn't it? If one cares and even feels passionately about one's beliefs, one can't help but collide with opposing view-points that seem not only different but... lame somehow-- badly constructed.

I think the only thing I can say for certain is that a good writer will 'sell' the point of view involved as being that of the character, and it would make sense for the character and their situation; when the point of view becomes more like third-person-omniscient and didactic, that's when problems arise. I've never had a problem disagreeing with a character's world-view-- but the author should either be invisible or a character of another sort so the technique would work. Then again, I always felt like thinking too much about either one's personal philosophy or one's dinner while reading meant the book wasn't engaging enough.

Comments

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

For instance, there's a frame of mind that makes fannish depictions of ukes tolerate emotional abuse from their semes

Okay this really creeps me out in manga too. I obviously just don't get that Okane Ga Nai thing that some people dig in their manga. Also, I don't like it in my fic either, but that's obvious. I mean, it's fanon, and suddenly Draco's spine just disappears. Not that he had a particularly good one before, but IT'S THERE, OKAY!

See, I'm not even good with people being mean to the characters. Or character death. I am sooo bad at handling character deaths. I still get sniffly when I even read "OMG NOW CEDRIC IS DED FROM COKE WORMTAIL!!11one" in GoF. Poor Cedric. Hell, even poor Regulus. And I'm sure you can guess how I get when teh boys get hurt/ded.

I am such a sook.

That's why Nanao Bohra mangas are good. Both the seme and the uke get abused, and everyone always ends up happen in the end so it's okay! And they have little werewolf babies that Susugi can't resist loving (have you read it yet!?)! Actually it's weird. Her stories are some of the most violent I've ever read, and yet I love them.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Ahhhh, I don't think I'm very capable of writing spineless people in general, so maybe... maybe it's hard to understand, but some people just project themselves and their own outlooks also. Though if the girls identify with the whipped little ukes-- that's pretty disturbing right there ^^;; The story I'm thinking of actually had uke!Harry, but it's all the same, really... One of them has to be an affection-starved clingy 12-year-old, I guess. It's not so bad in fandoms with older guys, I guess, but the problem is that I don't find older guys hot ><;; It is sad!

Hehe though I don't associate emotional abuse with violence... like, uh, as you could probably tell, I'm okay with violence, emotional or otherwise :> :> As long as both people fight back and such-- that's what makes it fun fun fun! But I can't stand really depressing deathfic-type stuff either, mostly 'cause I'm in it for the escapism... like, I can stand all sorts of messed up perverse dysfunction, but if something really tragic happens, I'm all, nooooooo. I hate that, but at the same time the right writer can make it addictive :>

I really really didn't care about either Cedric or Sirius dying, though I was upset for Harry's sake in the latter case. I think it only matters if I care... I am heartless and cruel. But at least I don't write deathfics :-?

...Soooo didya get Brother?? heee! Um. Because I lost the link again -.-

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

Heh, XD You like em young, dumb, and full of bubblegum ( want an icon that says that!).

And yes, I'm reading Brother. Very much the oblivious uke, isn't he? Personally I prefer my semes oblivious, but that's just me. I'm not big on the art either, though the coloured insert is nice.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Ahahahah it just occurred to me that the protagonist guy -is- kind of dumb, isn't he. *snorts* But I like it when they're like, brashly dumb rather than meekly dumb-- that makes all the difference!! >:D Somehow; I think you could see this coming since I really really liked uke-boy in Stepping Stone, and he's sort of the prototypical dumb-yet-brash... OMG I LIKE GRYFFINDORS AHAHAHAHAHAHAlfjksa;kjdsg;lkjjlkjglkj (...this probably surprises only me -.- -.- -.- -.-)

It hadn't even occurred to me that he was being the oblivious uke (in the blaze of glory that he was a stupid boy!! yeay!... um) But now that you say it! It is true! The last oblivious seme I read... when was that... hmmm.... man, that's a tough one. I'm happy if they're at least not -girly-, even if they're like, you want me? what? eh? Hehehe. At least he didn't squeal in horror...??! Well, I mean, he gets better in that arena ^^ For some reason I find the seme really pretty, probably because he has those big eyelashy eyes... like a doll... well, y'know, pretty :))

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

OMG I LIKE GRYFFINDORS

Sad... *shakes head*

Ahh yes, oblivious seme are rare, yet precious. Hmmm, *rifles through her collection*... yes, much rarer than the oblivious uke. Just another reason why I love Futaba kun & Futaba kun (aside from teh pr0n, hilarious situation and sluttiest uke ever). Futaba-kun the seme is so completely oblivious, and Futaba-kun the uke is all pushy-bottom-on-top & gagging for it.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Ahaah I am sadly alone in this fandom-- everyone either likes Slytherins or stays far away shipping S/R and H/G or something ^^;; I am fated to be alone... shouldering my bitter destiny... ahahah man I can't even type that without breaking down :> Oh Harry <3

Ahem. But yes, now I'm curious about Futaba-kun, which I have but hadn't read 'cause the other one of that title I -had- read involved like... angst & rape and drug dealing if I remember correctly...?

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

Ahh yes, Blue Cheer. I have that one too. But Futaba-kun' is much less violent and drug-involving.

And if you're curious, here is Futaba-kun' (http://s40.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0MCKHUACTC0CN3TZ70ZVWAAP1F) (Lurkers, bugger off!). Also is the bonus that the kid has a bit of fanon!Harry Clark-Kent syndrome going in regards to teh glasses. Heh.

And it's not that I don't like Gryffindors, I just don't like them quite as much as Slytherins. I do like the Woobies, and well-written H/R (with that "I'm so straight I go all the way around to gay again" kind of Ron characterisation), but, well, y'know. And yes, S/R isn't about the Gryffindors, it's about the puppylove ^^;.

I think I'd dig H/G more if they didn't write Ginny as some spineless gimp. She's one of the better female characters in the books KILL CHO!, yet so much H/G is just, eurgh.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Hehehe I'll get it later-- am currently leeching licensed yaoi from irc, just 'cause it's there :> :> I saw Passion & Selfish Love in the comics store and they didn't look that good, but it's the principle of the thing-- like, all those people who think licensed things are the greatness all anime/manga should aspire to... I'm not one of those people. I've actually never seen a single thing that was improved in the quality of manga or anime by making it commercially except for the obvious hard-copy factor. Bleh. I'm just tired of the whole SUPPORT THE MANGAKA spiel everywhere when you're not even directly supporting anything but some corporation by giving them money; plus commercial translators often suck (at English, I mean, not even at translating) without even the excuse of 'but they're not getting paid for this, so'....

Um, anyway. Heheh I never said I liked how people -wrote- Gryffindors... well, unless by 'people' you mean me >:D I like -my- Ginny and pretty much... well, maybe also Dee's (cupiscent's). I didn't actually mean I liked the JKR version so much as the idea of the traits-- that is, brashness, stubbornness, a disregard for the rules, recklessness, mischief and stupid heroics. Awww. Well, I'm into superhero comics for a reason, hehehe :> Man, so-straight-he's-gay!Ron is <3. It's also the only even remotely gay Ron I can see >:D It's so weird... that I love my Ron and my Ginny and my Pansy (...and hell, I'll throw in my Theodore which no one has yet seen), but I don't love my Harry or Draco... 'cause they're probably both too broody/angsty/stupid. Alas.

Hahaha, fanon!Harry as Clark Kent makes me sporfle >:D

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

like, all those people who think licensed things are the greatness all anime/manga should aspire to

There are people who think this? *boggles*

I'm just tired of the whole SUPPORT THE MANGAKA spiel everywhere when you're not even directly supporting anything but some corporation by giving them money; plus commercial translators often suck (at English, I mean, not even at translating) without even the excuse of 'but they're not getting paid for this, so'....

Oh fucking Wordy McWordpants. The only vaguely boyluvvy thing on the shelves around me is Eerie Queerie & Banana Fish (blech). No pr0n, so what's the point? Scanlations are love.

Pfff, you're just in denial about your unconditional love of Harry and Draco. DENIAL I SAY!!11one

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

...I think at some point it really started to bother me that 'my' Harry and Draco are so... I dunno, I don't know if I'm confident I -know- them anymore. On the one hand I want to characterize better, but on the othe hand, the more I try to be 'realistic' or true to canon or 'plausible', the less I like either of them. I rail against fanon!Draco 'cause most people's idealizations of him are so stupid and transparent, but I idealize him too, and on the one hand I can't not, and on the other it's just confusing, knowing that and doing it anyway-- making him too intelligent, too prideful, too strong. It used to be I could bounce off other people's fanfic and feel like I wasn't alone, but I don't read any H/D I can get into lately... so I feel as if I'm working on empty, too. Basically, my ideas of Harry & Draco are so drowned in angst, that's all I feel-- I'm sure I love them too, somewhere under there, but I can't tell anymore 'cause what I want from them & myself is probably too much. It's always been too much, but at some point one just realizes that-- characters can't really give one emotional satisfaction-- and there's no going back, I think.