[the shame! the horror!]
Mar. 8th, 2005 07:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkaFandom Shame Meme (or: Things I'd Be Ashamed of If I Had Shame)!
1) I (used to, when I read much fanfic) constantly read (and enjoy) oodles of H/D porn on ff.net & aff.net as well as lj that I never feedbacked and I thought had little to no 'redeeming value', not even with a 'hohoho, how charmingly ironic, I shall now mock silently to myself', but with a high willingness and ability to suspend all critical judgment-- sometimes I literally went through every R-and-over H/D fic I could find linked, in vain hopes it was remotely readable. I really have no practical standards to speak of; it's only when my eyes started bleeding from sheer pain that I stopped. Also, the great majority of my favorite HP fics are pretty OOC and I don't much care.
I've liked cutting fics, goth!Draco fics, Veela!Draco fics, gender-bender fics, poor-little-abused!Draco fics, top and bottom!Draco fics-- you name an H/D cliche, I've probably liked at one point. I am proud that I've never liked a nice!Draco or an abusive-and-evil-omg!Draco fic, never ever never, because mommy THAT'S GROSS.
A list:
- Draco in a skirt or girl!Draco; also usually rentboy!Draco
- almost any fic where Draco resents his lot in life as Harry's boyfriend and sex slave (yet sekritly loves it omg!) is fine by me; it's also fine if he's just a sex-slave and is yet so tragically in love with clueless-yet-sekritly-attached!Harry, aww.
- fics where Snape or Ron or whoever has some tragic unrequited lust for Harry and there is some combination of Invisibility Cloak, Astronomy Tower and naked detentions.
- Snape/Draco/Harry/etc is in lust against his will, pines away, wanks, happy ending.
- Harry getting all violent on Draco's ass; basically, Slytherin!Harry but not-- not!-- evil!Harry
- friendship fic where they learn to slowly get along and Draco is really genuinely cool
- fics where Remus always wanted Sirius (and hell, vice versa). awwww.
- Draco is pretty, oh-so-pretty... pretty and witty and briiiiiight... he's also a total flaming queen, clearly.
- meaningless drunken sex except they wake up and realize OMG I CANNOT LEAVE YOU (maybe there's angst first, though).
- lust/love/binding-potions done remotely well; I AM A SUCKER. there is nothing quite like do-I-love-you-or-is-it-the-DRUGS-I'm-on angst. I also love it when they can't move like, 2 meters away from each other or it huuuuurts, oh it hurts. Er. I might also have a slight telepathy thing.
- I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED YOU, HARRY. (*cringes* but he's in denial...!)
- ...Draco angsts and goes to clubs and is slutty and has piercings; Harry is a sincere sort of bad-boy, disillusioned with the war. Angry sex in back alleys, anyone?
- angsty, Sirius-obsessed Remus. It has to happen, mmkay.
- woobie-yet-headstrong!Harry meets prissy-yet-needy!Draco (...or is that canon??)
...But I still take H/D fic and writing quality way too seriously because (in spite of??) all this.
2) I spent my first year in fandom writing HP meta and fics and stuff without actually reading the HP books 'cause I really really didn't like the first one. On the bright side(?) this was not a secret at the time, either. There was wank, however.
3) I've only actually edited one of the 60+ fics I've written in fandom, though on the bright side I do proofread (...after I post, because I have an itchy trigger-finger). I've had several others betaed for me, but I was too lazy to implement the edits so the fics have never seen the light of day, and one of these is actually one of my best fics, I think. I'm just that lazy.
4) I've often contemplated writing 'sell-out plebefic' on ff.net about Veelas and hot!Draco and what have you just so I can get like, 1,000 comments (oh, would I but could I). I really can't write engagingly/poppishly enough, and I totally angst over that a lot. I wish my writing was more accessible and 'fun' and eh, it wouldn't matter if it was stupid if I was like OMG UBER POPULAR even among teenies. Yes, wild ff.net power-trip fantasy, yes. I constantly sekritly compare myself to others and wind up feeling inadequate just 'cause my fics on ff.net only get like, 2-3 comments unless you count het porn(!).
5) I totally wrote all sorts of pairings I thought were ridiculous or personally distasteful on request to please my audience and prove to myself I could, all part of some sort of need to pretend my fanfic writing was 'serious' and I was really learning something.
6) I've read a goodly amount of H/S porn though it totally conflicted with my OTP and I didn't even find Snape hot, just because the sex was written so well. There's a lot of good porn in H/S-- well, if you can stomach it. The word 'Snarry' needs to be shot repeatedly, however, as do fics where Snape uses fragrant shampoo. Let's get one thing straight: I'm at war with Snape's flowery, sweet-smelling and magically-delicious shampoo.
7) I usually avoid feedbacking fic for pairings other than my OTP just 'cause I'm lazy, even though I was known as Fandom Reviewer Person for a while. It sort of became a burden after a point; also, I often reviewed at length and inventively just to get praised for it and continue the vicious cycle of boot-licking. Though on the bright side, I was sincere.
8) I'm not, in almost all ways, a canon!whore, and I never have been. My huge, wildly proliferating pet peeves are mostly a result of a sekritly bitchy temperament and preference hardened by reading lots of crappily done fic that used certain characterizations or plot-devices so that I started to have knee-jerk biases against them. I think I wound up using 'in-characterness' as a way to justify myself and appeal to some sort of standard. Any standard. Please god, a standard.
9) I love (my favorite) Dracos. Just... not necessarily your Draco, random fandomer. No, your Draco I probably hate way way more than is possibly healthy. However, the types of Dracos I like tend to be contradictory and aren't divisible into 'canon' and 'fanon'-- more like into 'Reena's idea of crappy fanon' and 'Reena's idea of nifty fanon'. So there. Love me, love my contradictions of myself.
10) My sekrit OTP is really Tom/Hagrid. [And I think pointless in-jokes are fun, fun, fun!]
1) I (used to, when I read much fanfic) constantly read (and enjoy) oodles of H/D porn on ff.net & aff.net as well as lj that I never feedbacked and I thought had little to no 'redeeming value', not even with a 'hohoho, how charmingly ironic, I shall now mock silently to myself', but with a high willingness and ability to suspend all critical judgment-- sometimes I literally went through every R-and-over H/D fic I could find linked, in vain hopes it was remotely readable. I really have no practical standards to speak of; it's only when my eyes started bleeding from sheer pain that I stopped. Also, the great majority of my favorite HP fics are pretty OOC and I don't much care.
I've liked cutting fics, goth!Draco fics, Veela!Draco fics, gender-bender fics, poor-little-abused!Draco fics, top and bottom!Draco fics-- you name an H/D cliche, I've probably liked at one point. I am proud that I've never liked a nice!Draco or an abusive-and-evil-omg!Draco fic, never ever never, because mommy THAT'S GROSS.
A list:
- Draco in a skirt or girl!Draco; also usually rentboy!Draco
- almost any fic where Draco resents his lot in life as Harry's boyfriend and sex slave (yet sekritly loves it omg!) is fine by me; it's also fine if he's just a sex-slave and is yet so tragically in love with clueless-yet-sekritly-attached!Harry, aww.
- fics where Snape or Ron or whoever has some tragic unrequited lust for Harry and there is some combination of Invisibility Cloak, Astronomy Tower and naked detentions.
- Snape/Draco/Harry/etc is in lust against his will, pines away, wanks, happy ending.
- Harry getting all violent on Draco's ass; basically, Slytherin!Harry but not-- not!-- evil!Harry
- friendship fic where they learn to slowly get along and Draco is really genuinely cool
- fics where Remus always wanted Sirius (and hell, vice versa). awwww.
- Draco is pretty, oh-so-pretty... pretty and witty and briiiiiight... he's also a total flaming queen, clearly.
- meaningless drunken sex except they wake up and realize OMG I CANNOT LEAVE YOU (maybe there's angst first, though).
- lust/love/binding-potions done remotely well; I AM A SUCKER. there is nothing quite like do-I-love-you-or-is-it-the-DRUGS-I'm-on angst. I also love it when they can't move like, 2 meters away from each other or it huuuuurts, oh it hurts. Er. I might also have a slight telepathy thing.
- I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED YOU, HARRY. (*cringes* but he's in denial...!)
- ...Draco angsts and goes to clubs and is slutty and has piercings; Harry is a sincere sort of bad-boy, disillusioned with the war. Angry sex in back alleys, anyone?
- angsty, Sirius-obsessed Remus. It has to happen, mmkay.
- woobie-yet-headstrong!Harry meets prissy-yet-needy!Draco (...or is that canon??)
...But I still take H/D fic and writing quality way too seriously because (in spite of??) all this.
2) I spent my first year in fandom writing HP meta and fics and stuff without actually reading the HP books 'cause I really really didn't like the first one. On the bright side(?) this was not a secret at the time, either. There was wank, however.
3) I've only actually edited one of the 60+ fics I've written in fandom, though on the bright side I do proofread (...after I post, because I have an itchy trigger-finger). I've had several others betaed for me, but I was too lazy to implement the edits so the fics have never seen the light of day, and one of these is actually one of my best fics, I think. I'm just that lazy.
4) I've often contemplated writing 'sell-out plebefic' on ff.net about Veelas and hot!Draco and what have you just so I can get like, 1,000 comments (oh, would I but could I). I really can't write engagingly/poppishly enough, and I totally angst over that a lot. I wish my writing was more accessible and 'fun' and eh, it wouldn't matter if it was stupid if I was like OMG UBER POPULAR even among teenies. Yes, wild ff.net power-trip fantasy, yes. I constantly sekritly compare myself to others and wind up feeling inadequate just 'cause my fics on ff.net only get like, 2-3 comments unless you count het porn(!).
5) I totally wrote all sorts of pairings I thought were ridiculous or personally distasteful on request to please my audience and prove to myself I could, all part of some sort of need to pretend my fanfic writing was 'serious' and I was really learning something.
6) I've read a goodly amount of H/S porn though it totally conflicted with my OTP and I didn't even find Snape hot, just because the sex was written so well. There's a lot of good porn in H/S-- well, if you can stomach it. The word 'Snarry' needs to be shot repeatedly, however, as do fics where Snape uses fragrant shampoo. Let's get one thing straight: I'm at war with Snape's flowery, sweet-smelling and magically-delicious shampoo.
7) I usually avoid feedbacking fic for pairings other than my OTP just 'cause I'm lazy, even though I was known as Fandom Reviewer Person for a while. It sort of became a burden after a point; also, I often reviewed at length and inventively just to get praised for it and continue the vicious cycle of boot-licking. Though on the bright side, I was sincere.
8) I'm not, in almost all ways, a canon!whore, and I never have been. My huge, wildly proliferating pet peeves are mostly a result of a sekritly bitchy temperament and preference hardened by reading lots of crappily done fic that used certain characterizations or plot-devices so that I started to have knee-jerk biases against them. I think I wound up using 'in-characterness' as a way to justify myself and appeal to some sort of standard. Any standard. Please god, a standard.
9) I love (my favorite) Dracos. Just... not necessarily your Draco, random fandomer. No, your Draco I probably hate way way more than is possibly healthy. However, the types of Dracos I like tend to be contradictory and aren't divisible into 'canon' and 'fanon'-- more like into 'Reena's idea of crappy fanon' and 'Reena's idea of nifty fanon'. So there. Love me, love my contradictions of myself.
10) My sekrit OTP is really Tom/Hagrid. [And I think pointless in-jokes are fun, fun, fun!]
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no subject
Date: 2005-03-08 10:10 pm (UTC)Heheh there's no such thing as Wank-That-Must-Not-Be-Spoken :D It's old and not very dramatic, though.
What I meant about not being a canon!whore is that I'm not obsessively always comparing everything to canon, not that I'm unawre of canon :)) I sort of picked up the basics before I even read it, 'cause I have a mind for this kind of info, I guess? Mostly I just read lots of other people's meta :> Though the little detail-type plot-related things don't tend to interest me (it's all characterization, baby). heh.
HEHEH EVERYTIME YOU USE THAT ICON YOU REMIND ME. *approves*
no subject
Date: 2005-03-08 10:17 pm (UTC)That's pretty impressive. And hell, CC complaining about fanon cred is always funny. :D
I would have stuck up for you if I had been there. But I'm a fandom newbie, who always gets weirded out by these people who have been pervy old HP ladyfans for YEARS and who are always bitching about how no-one-writes-fics-like-they-used-to.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-08 10:24 pm (UTC)(...not least 'cause like, most of the old H/D writers left fandom after OoTP.)
I could sort of understand why everyone was er, startled, 'cause don't you sort of make the assumption that if you talk about HP stuff at length and analyze it, you know what you're talking about? I mean, you don't have to LIKE HP to be in the fandom, but I wasn't 'just' in the fandom, and.... ergh. Hahah all the wanks I've been in consisted of BNFs yelling at me like a naughty child :)) :)) :)) ...I don't know what says about me -.- -.-