[the shame! the horror!]
Mar. 8th, 2005 07:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkaFandom Shame Meme (or: Things I'd Be Ashamed of If I Had Shame)!
1) I (used to, when I read much fanfic) constantly read (and enjoy) oodles of H/D porn on ff.net & aff.net as well as lj that I never feedbacked and I thought had little to no 'redeeming value', not even with a 'hohoho, how charmingly ironic, I shall now mock silently to myself', but with a high willingness and ability to suspend all critical judgment-- sometimes I literally went through every R-and-over H/D fic I could find linked, in vain hopes it was remotely readable. I really have no practical standards to speak of; it's only when my eyes started bleeding from sheer pain that I stopped. Also, the great majority of my favorite HP fics are pretty OOC and I don't much care.
I've liked cutting fics, goth!Draco fics, Veela!Draco fics, gender-bender fics, poor-little-abused!Draco fics, top and bottom!Draco fics-- you name an H/D cliche, I've probably liked at one point. I am proud that I've never liked a nice!Draco or an abusive-and-evil-omg!Draco fic, never ever never, because mommy THAT'S GROSS.
A list:
- Draco in a skirt or girl!Draco; also usually rentboy!Draco
- almost any fic where Draco resents his lot in life as Harry's boyfriend and sex slave (yet sekritly loves it omg!) is fine by me; it's also fine if he's just a sex-slave and is yet so tragically in love with clueless-yet-sekritly-attached!Harry, aww.
- fics where Snape or Ron or whoever has some tragic unrequited lust for Harry and there is some combination of Invisibility Cloak, Astronomy Tower and naked detentions.
- Snape/Draco/Harry/etc is in lust against his will, pines away, wanks, happy ending.
- Harry getting all violent on Draco's ass; basically, Slytherin!Harry but not-- not!-- evil!Harry
- friendship fic where they learn to slowly get along and Draco is really genuinely cool
- fics where Remus always wanted Sirius (and hell, vice versa). awwww.
- Draco is pretty, oh-so-pretty... pretty and witty and briiiiiight... he's also a total flaming queen, clearly.
- meaningless drunken sex except they wake up and realize OMG I CANNOT LEAVE YOU (maybe there's angst first, though).
- lust/love/binding-potions done remotely well; I AM A SUCKER. there is nothing quite like do-I-love-you-or-is-it-the-DRUGS-I'm-on angst. I also love it when they can't move like, 2 meters away from each other or it huuuuurts, oh it hurts. Er. I might also have a slight telepathy thing.
- I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED YOU, HARRY. (*cringes* but he's in denial...!)
- ...Draco angsts and goes to clubs and is slutty and has piercings; Harry is a sincere sort of bad-boy, disillusioned with the war. Angry sex in back alleys, anyone?
- angsty, Sirius-obsessed Remus. It has to happen, mmkay.
- woobie-yet-headstrong!Harry meets prissy-yet-needy!Draco (...or is that canon??)
...But I still take H/D fic and writing quality way too seriously because (in spite of??) all this.
2) I spent my first year in fandom writing HP meta and fics and stuff without actually reading the HP books 'cause I really really didn't like the first one. On the bright side(?) this was not a secret at the time, either. There was wank, however.
3) I've only actually edited one of the 60+ fics I've written in fandom, though on the bright side I do proofread (...after I post, because I have an itchy trigger-finger). I've had several others betaed for me, but I was too lazy to implement the edits so the fics have never seen the light of day, and one of these is actually one of my best fics, I think. I'm just that lazy.
4) I've often contemplated writing 'sell-out plebefic' on ff.net about Veelas and hot!Draco and what have you just so I can get like, 1,000 comments (oh, would I but could I). I really can't write engagingly/poppishly enough, and I totally angst over that a lot. I wish my writing was more accessible and 'fun' and eh, it wouldn't matter if it was stupid if I was like OMG UBER POPULAR even among teenies. Yes, wild ff.net power-trip fantasy, yes. I constantly sekritly compare myself to others and wind up feeling inadequate just 'cause my fics on ff.net only get like, 2-3 comments unless you count het porn(!).
5) I totally wrote all sorts of pairings I thought were ridiculous or personally distasteful on request to please my audience and prove to myself I could, all part of some sort of need to pretend my fanfic writing was 'serious' and I was really learning something.
6) I've read a goodly amount of H/S porn though it totally conflicted with my OTP and I didn't even find Snape hot, just because the sex was written so well. There's a lot of good porn in H/S-- well, if you can stomach it. The word 'Snarry' needs to be shot repeatedly, however, as do fics where Snape uses fragrant shampoo. Let's get one thing straight: I'm at war with Snape's flowery, sweet-smelling and magically-delicious shampoo.
7) I usually avoid feedbacking fic for pairings other than my OTP just 'cause I'm lazy, even though I was known as Fandom Reviewer Person for a while. It sort of became a burden after a point; also, I often reviewed at length and inventively just to get praised for it and continue the vicious cycle of boot-licking. Though on the bright side, I was sincere.
8) I'm not, in almost all ways, a canon!whore, and I never have been. My huge, wildly proliferating pet peeves are mostly a result of a sekritly bitchy temperament and preference hardened by reading lots of crappily done fic that used certain characterizations or plot-devices so that I started to have knee-jerk biases against them. I think I wound up using 'in-characterness' as a way to justify myself and appeal to some sort of standard. Any standard. Please god, a standard.
9) I love (my favorite) Dracos. Just... not necessarily your Draco, random fandomer. No, your Draco I probably hate way way more than is possibly healthy. However, the types of Dracos I like tend to be contradictory and aren't divisible into 'canon' and 'fanon'-- more like into 'Reena's idea of crappy fanon' and 'Reena's idea of nifty fanon'. So there. Love me, love my contradictions of myself.
10) My sekrit OTP is really Tom/Hagrid. [And I think pointless in-jokes are fun, fun, fun!]
1) I (used to, when I read much fanfic) constantly read (and enjoy) oodles of H/D porn on ff.net & aff.net as well as lj that I never feedbacked and I thought had little to no 'redeeming value', not even with a 'hohoho, how charmingly ironic, I shall now mock silently to myself', but with a high willingness and ability to suspend all critical judgment-- sometimes I literally went through every R-and-over H/D fic I could find linked, in vain hopes it was remotely readable. I really have no practical standards to speak of; it's only when my eyes started bleeding from sheer pain that I stopped. Also, the great majority of my favorite HP fics are pretty OOC and I don't much care.
I've liked cutting fics, goth!Draco fics, Veela!Draco fics, gender-bender fics, poor-little-abused!Draco fics, top and bottom!Draco fics-- you name an H/D cliche, I've probably liked at one point. I am proud that I've never liked a nice!Draco or an abusive-and-evil-omg!Draco fic, never ever never, because mommy THAT'S GROSS.
A list:
- Draco in a skirt or girl!Draco; also usually rentboy!Draco
- almost any fic where Draco resents his lot in life as Harry's boyfriend and sex slave (yet sekritly loves it omg!) is fine by me; it's also fine if he's just a sex-slave and is yet so tragically in love with clueless-yet-sekritly-attached!Harry, aww.
- fics where Snape or Ron or whoever has some tragic unrequited lust for Harry and there is some combination of Invisibility Cloak, Astronomy Tower and naked detentions.
- Snape/Draco/Harry/etc is in lust against his will, pines away, wanks, happy ending.
- Harry getting all violent on Draco's ass; basically, Slytherin!Harry but not-- not!-- evil!Harry
- friendship fic where they learn to slowly get along and Draco is really genuinely cool
- fics where Remus always wanted Sirius (and hell, vice versa). awwww.
- Draco is pretty, oh-so-pretty... pretty and witty and briiiiiight... he's also a total flaming queen, clearly.
- meaningless drunken sex except they wake up and realize OMG I CANNOT LEAVE YOU (maybe there's angst first, though).
- lust/love/binding-potions done remotely well; I AM A SUCKER. there is nothing quite like do-I-love-you-or-is-it-the-DRUGS-I'm-on angst. I also love it when they can't move like, 2 meters away from each other or it huuuuurts, oh it hurts. Er. I might also have a slight telepathy thing.
- I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED YOU, HARRY. (*cringes* but he's in denial...!)
- ...Draco angsts and goes to clubs and is slutty and has piercings; Harry is a sincere sort of bad-boy, disillusioned with the war. Angry sex in back alleys, anyone?
- angsty, Sirius-obsessed Remus. It has to happen, mmkay.
- woobie-yet-headstrong!Harry meets prissy-yet-needy!Draco (...or is that canon??)
...But I still take H/D fic and writing quality way too seriously because (in spite of??) all this.
2) I spent my first year in fandom writing HP meta and fics and stuff without actually reading the HP books 'cause I really really didn't like the first one. On the bright side(?) this was not a secret at the time, either. There was wank, however.
3) I've only actually edited one of the 60+ fics I've written in fandom, though on the bright side I do proofread (...after I post, because I have an itchy trigger-finger). I've had several others betaed for me, but I was too lazy to implement the edits so the fics have never seen the light of day, and one of these is actually one of my best fics, I think. I'm just that lazy.
4) I've often contemplated writing 'sell-out plebefic' on ff.net about Veelas and hot!Draco and what have you just so I can get like, 1,000 comments (oh, would I but could I). I really can't write engagingly/poppishly enough, and I totally angst over that a lot. I wish my writing was more accessible and 'fun' and eh, it wouldn't matter if it was stupid if I was like OMG UBER POPULAR even among teenies. Yes, wild ff.net power-trip fantasy, yes. I constantly sekritly compare myself to others and wind up feeling inadequate just 'cause my fics on ff.net only get like, 2-3 comments unless you count het porn(!).
5) I totally wrote all sorts of pairings I thought were ridiculous or personally distasteful on request to please my audience and prove to myself I could, all part of some sort of need to pretend my fanfic writing was 'serious' and I was really learning something.
6) I've read a goodly amount of H/S porn though it totally conflicted with my OTP and I didn't even find Snape hot, just because the sex was written so well. There's a lot of good porn in H/S-- well, if you can stomach it. The word 'Snarry' needs to be shot repeatedly, however, as do fics where Snape uses fragrant shampoo. Let's get one thing straight: I'm at war with Snape's flowery, sweet-smelling and magically-delicious shampoo.
7) I usually avoid feedbacking fic for pairings other than my OTP just 'cause I'm lazy, even though I was known as Fandom Reviewer Person for a while. It sort of became a burden after a point; also, I often reviewed at length and inventively just to get praised for it and continue the vicious cycle of boot-licking. Though on the bright side, I was sincere.
8) I'm not, in almost all ways, a canon!whore, and I never have been. My huge, wildly proliferating pet peeves are mostly a result of a sekritly bitchy temperament and preference hardened by reading lots of crappily done fic that used certain characterizations or plot-devices so that I started to have knee-jerk biases against them. I think I wound up using 'in-characterness' as a way to justify myself and appeal to some sort of standard. Any standard. Please god, a standard.
9) I love (my favorite) Dracos. Just... not necessarily your Draco, random fandomer. No, your Draco I probably hate way way more than is possibly healthy. However, the types of Dracos I like tend to be contradictory and aren't divisible into 'canon' and 'fanon'-- more like into 'Reena's idea of crappy fanon' and 'Reena's idea of nifty fanon'. So there. Love me, love my contradictions of myself.
10) My sekrit OTP is really Tom/Hagrid. [And I think pointless in-jokes are fun, fun, fun!]
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no subject
Date: 2005-03-08 03:59 pm (UTC)...I still think there's more ground-work already laid with Draco than with Harry. Aaaaand, after OoTP it's even more stark that (in a non-slashy way) Harry cares only insofar as using Draco as a beat-up doll whereas Draco actually has real issues he's obsessed with about Harry.
I don't think I ever believed Draco was already in love/lust or anything, but... he can be written as having this huge crush and being in denial without really twisting canon and Harry... can't. I think?
HEY LOOK, OVER THERE, IT'S MOVIE CANON!!1 :P