[the shame! the horror!]

[reenka]

Fandom Shame Meme (or: Things I'd Be Ashamed of If I Had Shame)!

1) I (used to, when I read much fanfic) constantly read (and enjoy) oodles of H/D porn on ff.net & aff.net as well as lj that I never feedbacked and I thought had little to no 'redeeming value', not even with a 'hohoho, how charmingly ironic, I shall now mock silently to myself', but with a high willingness and ability to suspend all critical judgment-- sometimes I literally went through every R-and-over H/D fic I could find linked, in vain hopes it was remotely readable. I really have no practical standards to speak of; it's only when my eyes started bleeding from sheer pain that I stopped. Also, the great majority of my favorite HP fics are pretty OOC and I don't much care.

I've liked cutting fics, goth!Draco fics, Veela!Draco fics, gender-bender fics, poor-little-abused!Draco fics, top and bottom!Draco fics-- you name an H/D cliche, I've probably liked at one point. I am proud that I've never liked a nice!Draco or an abusive-and-evil-omg!Draco fic, never ever never, because mommy THAT'S GROSS.

A list:
- Draco in a skirt or girl!Draco; also usually rentboy!Draco
- almost any fic where Draco resents his lot in life as Harry's boyfriend and sex slave (yet sekritly loves it omg!) is fine by me; it's also fine if he's just a sex-slave and is yet so tragically in love with clueless-yet-sekritly-attached!Harry, aww.
- fics where Snape or Ron or whoever has some tragic unrequited lust for Harry and there is some combination of Invisibility Cloak, Astronomy Tower and naked detentions.
- Snape/Draco/Harry/etc is in lust against his will, pines away, wanks, happy ending.
- Harry getting all violent on Draco's ass; basically, Slytherin!Harry but not-- not!-- evil!Harry
- friendship fic where they learn to slowly get along and Draco is really genuinely cool
- fics where Remus always wanted Sirius (and hell, vice versa). awwww.
- Draco is pretty, oh-so-pretty... pretty and witty and briiiiiight... he's also a total flaming queen, clearly.
- meaningless drunken sex except they wake up and realize OMG I CANNOT LEAVE YOU (maybe there's angst first, though).
- lust/love/binding-potions done remotely well; I AM A SUCKER. there is nothing quite like do-I-love-you-or-is-it-the-DRUGS-I'm-on angst. I also love it when they can't move like, 2 meters away from each other or it huuuuurts, oh it hurts. Er. I might also have a slight telepathy thing.
- I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED YOU, HARRY. (*cringes* but he's in denial...!)
- ...Draco angsts and goes to clubs and is slutty and has piercings; Harry is a sincere sort of bad-boy, disillusioned with the war. Angry sex in back alleys, anyone?
- angsty, Sirius-obsessed Remus. It has to happen, mmkay.
- woobie-yet-headstrong!Harry meets prissy-yet-needy!Draco (...or is that canon??)

...But I still take H/D fic and writing quality way too seriously because (in spite of??) all this.


2) I spent my first year in fandom writing HP meta and fics and stuff without actually reading the HP books 'cause I really really didn't like the first one. On the bright side(?) this was not a secret at the time, either. There was wank, however.

3) I've only actually edited one of the 60+ fics I've written in fandom, though on the bright side I do proofread (...after I post, because I have an itchy trigger-finger). I've had several others betaed for me, but I was too lazy to implement the edits so the fics have never seen the light of day, and one of these is actually one of my best fics, I think. I'm just that lazy.

4) I've often contemplated writing 'sell-out plebefic' on ff.net about Veelas and hot!Draco and what have you just so I can get like, 1,000 comments (oh, would I but could I). I really can't write engagingly/poppishly enough, and I totally angst over that a lot. I wish my writing was more accessible and 'fun' and eh, it wouldn't matter if it was stupid if I was like OMG UBER POPULAR even among teenies. Yes, wild ff.net power-trip fantasy, yes. I constantly sekritly compare myself to others and wind up feeling inadequate just 'cause my fics on ff.net only get like, 2-3 comments unless you count het porn(!).

5) I totally wrote all sorts of pairings I thought were ridiculous or personally distasteful on request to please my audience and prove to myself I could, all part of some sort of need to pretend my fanfic writing was 'serious' and I was really learning something.

6) I've read a goodly amount of H/S porn though it totally conflicted with my OTP and I didn't even find Snape hot, just because the sex was written so well. There's a lot of good porn in H/S-- well, if you can stomach it. The word 'Snarry' needs to be shot repeatedly, however, as do fics where Snape uses fragrant shampoo. Let's get one thing straight: I'm at war with Snape's flowery, sweet-smelling and magically-delicious shampoo.

7) I usually avoid feedbacking fic for pairings other than my OTP just 'cause I'm lazy, even though I was known as Fandom Reviewer Person for a while. It sort of became a burden after a point; also, I often reviewed at length and inventively just to get praised for it and continue the vicious cycle of boot-licking. Though on the bright side, I was sincere.

8) I'm not, in almost all ways, a canon!whore, and I never have been. My huge, wildly proliferating pet peeves are mostly a result of a sekritly bitchy temperament and preference hardened by reading lots of crappily done fic that used certain characterizations or plot-devices so that I started to have knee-jerk biases against them. I think I wound up using 'in-characterness' as a way to justify myself and appeal to some sort of standard. Any standard. Please god, a standard.

9) I love (my favorite) Dracos. Just... not necessarily your Draco, random fandomer. No, your Draco I probably hate way way more than is possibly healthy. However, the types of Dracos I like tend to be contradictory and aren't divisible into 'canon' and 'fanon'-- more like into 'Reena's idea of crappy fanon' and 'Reena's idea of nifty fanon'. So there. Love me, love my contradictions of myself.

10) My sekrit OTP is really Tom/Hagrid. [And I think pointless in-jokes are fun, fun, fun!]

Comments

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

...I've written Draco/Pansy twice (and once with no mention of Harry! Wheeee!) ^^;; He was definitely sexually confused :D
I've tried writing Draco/Hermione, it's just so... hard to see from Hermione's pov, I guess. Hehehe I can totally see him substituting Hermione for Harry in some really messed up way, because I'll go to any lengths, probably. ...Actually, I've -read- Draco/Hermione just to see Hermione top him, come to think of it. *shame*

[marksykins.livejournal.com]

Two of those D/Hr's I wrote were actually gender-bending fics, where Hermione gives herself a cock. It was all very satisfying for me as a porn writer. Hahaha. And in another, Hermione walks in on him wanking in a classroom, just as he's settling into a good old fantasy about an unnamed, ungendered person. You can probably guess where my head was there.

I'd write Draco/Pansy if Slytherin/Slytherin pairings didn't bore me to death. If someone requested it of me, I'd do it.

And, ohmygod, the picture you linked. There's guns and fluids and belt bondage and licking! That does it for me quite nicely, thank you. :DDD

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Heeee, unnamed ungendered person!! Man, for some reason I really love poor gay Draco uselessly escaping into humiliating het-sex with his so-called enemy >:D Heeeeeeee. And in my head then Hermione could set him up with Harry or something 'cause really she's too sensible to stay with a loser like Draco and Harry seems so lonely and in need of a shag, and really, Malfoy is so obviously -willing- (*goes off into lala land*)

Man, Slytherin/Slytherin pairings bore me too, and I'd never write D/P unless I had some sort of masochistic need to play with hetero!Draco just 'cause it seems so wrong, and I couldn't seem to figure out how to achieve lift-off with D/G or D/Hr. Though now the whole blackmail angle seems obvious. Actually, I've written D/H/G at one point, but that was really rather lame o_0

HEEEE! I am glad to spread the Yamane Ayano loff. If there's one thing she's good for.... *coughs* 'Course there's a lot more where that came from, too, no matter what you like >:D

[firstblush.livejournal.com]

Draco/Pansy! Are those fics available somewhere?

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Heh, well, there's Hard on the Knees (http://www.skyehawke.com/archive/story.php?no=358) and Breeding (http://www.skyehawke.com/archive/story.php?no=603), though I'd say only the latter is really any good >.<;;

[firstblush.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Those were fun to read through. I went through it quite quickly since I was at work so I won't give much feedback but I did enjoy them. I actually quite liked the violence of "Hard on the Knees" and I liked the theme and tone of "breeding." I like reading pansy/draco fic where there's a sense they actually are affectionate of one another (though not necessarily in love or that nonsense). Also, I liked reading your take on Pansy in "breeding." You definitely got a great sense of her character without making her a female Draco, yet distinctly slytherin in her own right.