~~ why Harry and Draco suck, but not really.

[reenka]

I was in a movie theatre, right, and there was this group of boys... 17-19ish, so well-groomed, almost painfully thin & slight & dressed to kill in all black without being gothy so much as stylish, and.... I took one look at the boy closest to me, hanging out by the escalator looking bored and was hooked. He looked so distant and unapproachable and yet all cute and dark and lithe, kinda, and.... Man, then I snapped out of it. What a bunch of psychic poison. Dude.

And I thought, this is the appeal of fanon!Draco, right there.


Fake-plastic cool boy, all emptiness encased by composure, his very posture daring you to believe yourself fab enough to look at him. There was nothing there but sheer projection and barely hidden disgust with himself and everyone else, man. I would never feel adequate around him 'cause he'd never find -himself- adequate enough to relax.

This sort of person is all about evoking masochism in others, everyone naive enough to fall for his little game and cut themselves all over his cutting empty glances. He's such a faker, it's not even an artform for him, it's a defense against the fact that he doesn't know who he is and he's afraid to know. If he knew, he'd probably be too terrified to show his face in public. What a loser, y'know, for all his impeccably-chosen expensive shoes and oh-so-flattering eyeglasses.
~~

Ahh, I wish I didn't always feel that natural urge to rank things... it really annoys me in others. Like, when people like one character, but it's never just that-- it's usually in comparison to or in relationship to another, who sucks. And nothing turns me off a character I sort-of-like more than hearing people who luuuurve him but can only do it by slagging off whoever dislikes him or implies he has bad breath. Dude.

Yeah, so I feel paranoid about disliking anything about Draco since I do love Harry (more, I guess, okay fine), but it's not as if I love Harry to spite Draco or something, or dislike things about Draco to please my Harry. Isn't that just ridiculous? I hate taking sides, man.

So I was talking with S. and we were listing things that I thought were problems I wanted to work on with Draco-- as in, reasons I'm interested in seeing him change/grow/develop in fanfic. But it's not that I dislike him because he's not those things to start with. Eh. Like, I think that whenever someone's got flaws, they've got the implicit potential to overcome them, though of course most people don't. And I actually love flawed characters & people, it's just... I think it's the struggle to further oneself that's the point, rather than the actual attainment of enlightenment or whatever. One should never be satisfied with oneself, I feel, though one should accept oneself (and others) regardless.

Thusly, I accept Draco but I am not satisfied with him. In terms of Harry... I'd say likewise, except I don't feel he's mine to work with as much-- I feel like that's up to the existing canon arc to explore. I like the way canon!Harry's shaping up more than anyone's Harry I've ever read in fanfic, including my own, I guess, that's all-- whereas I've loved plenty of Dracos, and only incidentally JKR's. I'd even say I love the one that lives in my head the most, and perhaps I -only- love that one, I'm not sure. But now I'm ranking things again.

Anyway, this is sort of a collaboration between me & my friend S., who isn't in fandom & is pretty neutral. Ahaha I like to grill him on various topics and bounce ideas off and stuff. So I asked him what's wrong with canon Draco being-- or rather, staying-- "as is"... and then to be fair, what's wrong with Harry, too.


+ Draco's Personality Problems, in italics according to S., with some commentary +

• He's afraid to grow up.
  
  Afraid to mature & figure out who he's going to become; afraid to go outside these smaller, childish goals and confront the truth about himself. That's why I think he needs to grow up and progress and such, y'know, because I want Draco to know the truth (and tremble). And also, why I feel cheated if a fanfic has this happen as backstory.
  
  Is it okay not to try to mature? Draco could be whiny & snarky on a whole new level, because it's not wrong to be what one is, it's only wrong not to try to become better at what one is. In other words, Draco doing things without questioning himself = not Good.
  
  Draco progressed through canon in a negative sense so far; he was innocent of the real challenges at first, but now he's aware of his predicament but unaware he has real alternatives. Though I myself am unsure if you could hold his cluelessness against him, his lack of inquisitiveness... perhaps.
  
  
• He doesn't know what he wants.
  
  Well, I think S. meant 'from life in the long-term', because he certainly seems to know he wants to win at Quidditch, humiliate and otherwise defeat (or possibly just aggravate...?) Potter, make people laugh at his jokes and impress others with his amazing wit/style/Prefectly glory. He's a boy of simple tastes, I suppose one might say. Or just really stunted ones.
  
  He doesn't have any real goals-- he wants respect but doesn't know what he wants the respect or power -for-. Poor boy doesn't seem to think these things through, does he? Does that make him stupid or just really lost & confused? Ahahah, y'know, I'm not sure.
  
  
• No real sense of self-identity, apart from his role as his father's son and a Slytherin and so on. So he doesn't know what he wants or who he is; well, that's normal for teenagers and most people in general, I realize that, but it's still a problem. I suppose this might partly be why so many fanfics make Draco into a poser and a faker of his emotions-- basically, it's nice to think he's actually hiding some aspect of himself and has a sort of repressed individualism or something.
  
  
• He decides he's right without paying attention to objective reality.
  
  Basically, the boy's delusional, which is always annoying (when you have to deal with it yourself-- it's quite endearing & funny from a distance). It's also a bitch to deal with in oneself. (Oops! I overestimated myself AGAIN. Drat.) Though really, I think he allows himself to be brainwashed into having certain opinions rather than forming them himself, in however judgmental a manner, the way Harry does. So it's not that he doesn't have a good enough grip on rationality but that he completely allows himself to be led along.
  
  He's not seeking wisdom; he doesn't allow himself to question whether what he's opposing is right-- while Harry is starting to realize he needs to at the end of Order of the Phoenix. So I guess he's not only delusional, he seems quite content to stay that way, which is a problem. At the end of book 5, Draco finds Harry an enemy (which implies a vow to destroy) rather than an adversary (which implies you're just opposing someone). He's more likely to do something evil now.
  
  
• He doesn't appear to care about others.
  
  Well, not in in any altruistic sense, besides admiring or worshipping or just placing himself in some hierarchal system where everyone's got a place in relation to his, I guess. He doesn't want to help people (if there's nothing in it for him); he doesn't empathize with others' pain; tries to find weaknesses in others instead of strengths. Though he's certainly quite focused on his own hardships.
  
  Basically, yeah, Draco might be obsessed with Daddy's approval or even Potter's, but that's rather far from making him a decent sort of bloke to all those no-name Hufflepuffs.

~~


+ Harry's Personality Problems, in italics according to S., with some commentary +

• He's too brash, as he's starting to realize himself.
  
  I think this manifests in all manner of small and large ways; everything from snap judgments about people to decisions about how to do something and when to do it. He's really not thoughtful enough about things, and this whole 'shoot first, ask questions later' mentality continuously gets him into trouble. Alas.
  
  Since he's too impulsive & brash, he overreacts to both actual and just perceived slights. He obviously has a (growing) temper problem.
  
  The thing is, Harry bottles his anger up more than Ron, for instance, which makes it more dangerous especially since he has more actual power over things. However, I don't think Harry's as likely to go vigilante berserker as Ron, but that's a personal call. It's just that I think Harry cools down and distances himself emotionally from things that would enrage him over a long enough period of time (like the Dursleys), while Ron would just keep on going.
  
  
• He's too judgmental. He's got a defined set of rules about what is right & wrong that he sticks to, and he's extremely uncomfortable with shades of grey within them. He wants things to be clear-cut too much.
  
  This is probably what sticks in most people's craw about Harry; well, besides the temper and the bitter rage and flashes of self-pity and so on. Though honestly, I do believe that if he actually did something he found 'wrong', he'd no more forgive himself that than he would with anyone else. I don't mean he'd be eaten alive with guilt; I mean if he did it of his own free will, he'd probably justify the dickens out of it so he wouldn't have to tear himself apart with that guilt.
  
  He dismisses things he finds irrelevant. So whatever doesn't fit into Harry's worldview has a hard time being noticed, though in his defense he does notice eventually. After someone hits him over the head with it. Often. Ahem.
  
  He's not logically consistent in his actions or beliefs. Probably especially when his sense of ethics or his emotions in general are involved or both, like with Snape. For all his supposed 'rules', Harry makes lots of exceptions for people he already likes or approves of, doesn't he. He questions himself to the point of paranoia in some ways, but other people not enough, when it comes to changing allegiances. Take Snape at the end of OoTP, for instance.
  
  He doesn't allow other people the responsibility of free will; it's as if they don't have their own stories, in a way, when he's being judgmental. He goes with his gut, so all actions are obviously right or wrong.
  
  
• He's not open to taking advice; in fact, he often ignores it automatically, usually to his deficit.
  
  Well, he does listen to Hermione & he used to listen to Dumbledore, but I think there's only so far either of them could push him when he doesn't want to go there for any remotely strong reason. Basically, he's more stubborn than a mule.
  
  In other words, Harry's independent to a fault. Or possibly to the point where you could say he's an antisocial freak, I'm not sure, though I think he stops short of that because he has his two best friends to hold him back.
  
  
• Harry's Hero Complex: he tries to take responsibility for things that are outside of everyone's control, and blames himself for sheer circumstances.
  
  I'm not sure if this means he's got what Hermione's decided was a Hero Complex or what; however, I don't think it's simple arrogance or self-aggrandizement like with Draco. I would say it's just that he's rather self-centered yet he does want to protect the people he cares about, so he winds up feeling both responsible for them and completely apart from them. In other words, he doesn't play well with others but still feels he's in the center of the game and he genuinely does care about the players.
  
  He doesn't fully trust anyone, it seems. He doesn't have faith that he can trust someone to be 'good' once disappointed, like with Dumbledore at the end of OoTP. He doesn't trust the DA to stop anything or to be good enough without him to lead them. He's becoming arrogant and bitter at the end of book 5.
  
  
• He's bitter a lot, which gets to be a character flaw when taken to extremes. He resents so much-- he feels powerless since he can't seem to get what he wants. Ahh, Harry. His whole career at Hogwarts is really one long story of his great escape from the Dursleys turning to into an inability to escape from an even more bleak and frightening fate. I mean, the boy has reason to angst, but it's still out of control by now, isn't it.
  
  He's starting to substitute Draco as the day-to-day foil with the whole rest of the universe, which he feels is against him. He's not playing by the same rules, or in the same context with Draco, punching him instead of having a duel or snark. Haha, yeah, his angst has outgrown anything Draco Malfoy can make a dent in.
  
  Ahhh, so sad. Well, unless Draco grows more dangerous by some miracle, or Harry finds a reason to admire him. But that's a whole different list, and... well, while you could theoretically find things to admire about anyone depending on your criteria, they're not necessarily things Harry would admire in a person. Man, an H/D shipper's life = so hard, ahahah.

Comments

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I like emo!Draco, eheheh... but emo boys aren't supposed to be posers, right. That's like... anti-emo or something. Heh. Plus, is it emo to project this aura of disdain and boredness and false superiority? I totally know what you mean about the same skinny tie. It was a bit creepy how there was like, 4 of them and they all looked pretty much the same. I wondered if they were all gay but perhaps they're just all lame :>

Draco -is- an ass, man. I think this every time I think of him, except sometimes I mean literally :D :D :D

I just think Draco needs to grow up and get a clue & get his head out of his own ass & so on. A lot of people do, even Harry :D It's just that it's even less likely for Draco than a lot of people, so I'm more invested in seeing him do it. It's like he's my favorite little dysfunctional hopeless loser >:D Heh. Also, y'know, he's got a great ass, I just know it :> I don't think shagging would help as much as uh... thinking & experiencing new things & thinking more :> Some of those new things could well be shagging of course >:D

There are a lot of ways to go with Draco-- that's the fascination & the frustration with him. Like, there's no One True Way, y'know, only things that make sense in a particular fic vs. things that are so implausible they offend one's sense of decency or something, y'know :>

[stellabelle.livejournal.com]

Plus, is it emo to project this aura of disdain and boredness and false superiority?
No, that sounds more like apathetic posh boys who have nothing better to do with their parents' money, lol. And also, I don't think there are emo boys in England, which makes me sad, so we shall just have to pretend that Draco could be emo. (Or, well, pseudo-emo, but. Y'know.)

Also, y'know, he's got a great ass, I just know it :>
AHAHAHA! Man, I've had these lines for a fic running through my head for a while where Pansy's all, "Draco, darling, you've got a lovely bum" and Draco's all, "I know that", like, insulted that people don't just notice 24/7. Like it's one of his Universal Truths Of The World, and stuff, right in front of "you people are all bitches" and right after "Potter is a LOSAH".
...I wish I could think of intelligent things to say instead of daydreaming for a paragraph about fictional characters' derrieres.

Also, your bullet lists are sexy. I love lists, which is odd considering that I'm usually so disorganized, haha.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Pseudo-emo!obsessively!posh!Draco, then :D :D :D He needs yet more titles, you know he does. He could be standing around and instead of saying to himself 'I am so cool. So cool and SO SAD', he could be saying, 'I am so cool, so cool-- and so ENRAGED!! FEAR MY WRATH!'... because that is cuter :>

HEHEHEHE omg I die. You reminded me of Libertine's niggah!Harry (http://www.gongaga.com/utter/niggah.htm) fic <3<3<3 Oh Lib <3<3<3 *happy sigh* She wrote the most cracked-up shit evah, like say... also goth!Draco (http://www.gongaga.com/utter/gothdraco.htm) & camho!Draco (http://www.gongaga.com/utter/camho.htm) >:D You just -know- Draco lurves his ass. It is good you understand.

And I love it when you chat up my bullet lists, man >:D It makes their dots go all comma :D

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

From niggah!Harry:
Harry knew the guy, he was not fly, his name was Draco Malfoy and he was full of himself, like just cuz his old man was tight with Voldemort. Malfoy was a total skank, he was probably after Harry’s blunt, trying to worm his way inta the hood. Well, Harry was not gonna stand some crackah dog ripping on his crew, so he stood up, fell over, stood up again and waited for Malfoy to show him some respect.
*WEEPS WITH LAUGHTER*