~~ biting back the romance bug.

[reenka]

Again and again, it seems I keep coming back to the question-- What's wrong with romance. I mean, it's pretty obvious that of all human relationships, that of lovers is the least widely acceptable as a topic of serious study, compared to parents & children, siblings, working relationships, friendships. In a universe of cliche, romance (that is, sexual love) has a special place of inspiring a sort of... either disdainful boredom by the enlightened or thoughtless consumption by the masses. I feel like a throw-back, with my lifelong unabashed fascination with the subject, especially considering that in real life I'm rather antisocial, so the romantic theme is largely a theoretical interest. Hum.

The sexual aspect of this is even more looked down upon as a topic of serious inquiry, almost as if to this day, it's seen as a straggling tag-along, to be acknowledged but hopefully swept out of sight unless completely necessary. There seem to be divergent movements, at least within pop culture, to constantly separate & more firmly unite the concepts of sex and love, though of course both acknowledge that they're different (though complementary) things.
    I'm not so sure of that.


I'm fascinated by sexuality at least partly because it seems like a natural extension of romantic love (eros being sexual by nature). On the animal level-- certainly recreational sex is known, but this doesn't actually separate it from love, because among bonobos, for instance, the 'love' is still present as a conciliatory experience. If the animal in question -can- pair-bond on any lasting basis, it seems they use sex as a way to assert a certain (temporary or not) relationship as well as to feel good.

Basically, wouldn't most people's response be that porn is the least 'important' subject there is? And the most important, depending on which person you ask when. Personally, I find this dichotomy fascinating-- the way sex is everywhere, all-pervasive, the source of a million-and-one human motivations and consequences for us all, and yet it's commonly considered a lowly (embarrassing) source for inquiry. You can't write/read porn seriously, can you. That'd make you a wanker in the worst way. In denial, even. In desperate need of actual sex, perhaps. Off your head. Etc.

I myself see sex (and romance) everywhere, a background hum in nearly every story. I'm sure hormones have something to do with this, but that can't be all of it-- I remember wondering who would get together with whom in movies and fairy-tales & stories of all sorts when I was a five year-old, too. I don't actually remember a time when I wasn't interested. What does that say about me? Something negative, probably, to most people. I'm just 'such a girl'. I've got to listen to reality, right, where (sexual) love isn't the Most Important Thing; I've got to Get Down To Business.
    And yet. And yet, our whole present-day culture is obviously fascinated with the whole concept (which must be why so many people are tired of it, but that doesn't make it any more logical to dismiss).

I think a romantic/sexual relationship can be seen as a really effective lens of understanding people and their effect on one another, but the ramifications of the experiment depend on the people involved. Sometimes it -is- a cliche (in my own understanding) simply because the couple can't find a way to effectively communicate, or conversely because they're so at ease with each other that nothing ever changes between them & no issues get confronted. This confrontation & change-- this ionic bonding-- is the currency and the heart of both drama and one's growth as an invidual. While the covalent, steady bonds we make provide our lifelong foundations and are utterly indispensable, they are too easy and if unchecked, would sink us into a personal rut.

In my own personal experience if nothing else, with the right people involved, an ongoing sexual relationship is probably the sharpest mirror possible for an understanding of oneself. To me, this has always been the core question: Who am I in contrast to the Other? And that is what romantic love tries to show the lovers (and/or the readers). Sex is-- or can be-- the major catalytic act in this process besides talking. Touch remains when words fail. Touch and taste and look and feel the Other-- that's porn for you. At its best, it's visceral, gut-level, deeply honest, no holds barred realism. Aesthetic 'lying' in porn is widely accepted and desirable-- but I would say it's also pure cowardice/escapism. Porn doesn't have to be escapist, which has partly earned it its bad reputation-- I really think so. Erotic fiction can be the most honest, pure-truth thing you (I) can write.


As far as coming up with some semi-quantifiable system for study of this subject (as I can't help but feel compelled to come up with), there are a few axes to consider in a given couple:


+ High level of inherent interpersonal conflict - (if non-resolvable but self-sustaining, chances are best)

+ Possible progression to resolution or overall apparent relationship arc(s) - (needed to stave off stagnation)

+ Larger significance to each other - (what is the context of the beloved in the lover's life and the ramifications thereof)

+ What are the questions raised for each other & as a couple? - This is largely the romance writer's question. A 'high potential' couple tends to open the door to larger questions-- that is, by exploring the intersection of these two personalities, the metaphorical creases and irritations and interplay between them, one could get at something larger than either of the individuals-- something that transcends them or the duration & nature of their relationship. Love becomes a gateway the way it has always truly been-- the way it was in Romeo & Juliet and the Iliad and the fairy-tale of Beauty and the Beast. That's the beauty of it all-- great romance can never just be about itself. It is always, always a reflection of society at large-- the one that produces the story as much as the one that currently retells it.


These are mirrors-- doorways. Love itself is a doorway to the Other-- romance is the Story that links the separate rooms inside us. Sex is definitive both by its presence and its absence-- and in fact, its aching, hollow absence is often more powerful than any amount of presence. It is really the -anticipation- and the looking-towards-tomorrow that characterizes romantic love-- that unique Mystery, that divine insanity that tells you that the Beloved is deeply unknowable and infinitely desirable of being known. Love centers around Mystery and feeds upon constant communication-- a Look that goes on even when-- especially when-- the Beloved isn't present to be seen.
~~

I'm definitely not repeating the commonly accepted wisdom that close friends shouldn't (or can't) try to be lovers-- far from it. In a sense, friends make the best kind of lovers, since the implied ability to communicate well is simply vital. On the contrary, it merely depends on what kind of friends you are, and whether you really are both compatible & incompatible in the right ways. :>

    And yeah, I'll interject and say that this is why pairings which have no inherent personality conflict and are examples of like-with-like seem to be the flaming antithesis of what I see as romantic or sexual. To me this is so basic-- to the point that I think it explains why most of us aren't attracted to our siblings or parents. Thusly-- for me-- James/Sirius, Snape/Draco, Harry/Hermione = ick!! while Fred/George = yum! because that's a complete unit. Which is to say-- it's possible even for sibling pairs to come across as complementary (especially male/female pairs), but it's very rare. And yes, I always harp on about this particular squick, but it's me, what do you expect?

Naturally, I don't mean to overblow this and say romance is -more- important than something or other-- than anything else. I'm more interested in determining its role by somehow overcoming the urge for comparisons, though clearly that's difficult. To rank is human, but to equate is divine, etcetc.

Do I know what I'm talking about? Not as such, no.
~~

Oh, I'd started to read mousapelli's `He's not heavy, he's my boggart', when I realized-- I love James. I don't just snicker at him & think he's a cute sort of asshole-- no, I love him. I also feel it might be my calling to abandon slash & start writing James/Lily het, but I might be wrong about that (besides, them being doomed puts a damper on my enthusiasm). Still, I love insensitive, self-centered, given to brash outbursts & mockery, materialistic & pragmatic yet-secretly-romantic James. I think he's starting to remind me of Tamahome, which is rather odd, and yet. Hey, does that make Sirius into Tasuki?? Ahahahah. That James, he's such a kidder.

Thinking of him as an Auror makes me laugh and laugh (and laugh). It's the rebels that make the best cops, y'know (that fascination with authority-- oh yes). What's hilarious, come to think of it, is that I imagine that pre-OoTP, people thought James was kinda like Percy. How hilarious is that?? Ha.

Comments

*procrastinates*

[darklites.livejournal.com]

Eee! So much with the James love! I always found him rather dull until OotP, and then his cheekily arrogant ways just totally won me over, because I am just easy like that (er, when it comes to fictional characters - in real life I'd probably think him a total idiot, haha). And his whole smug 'my hair is so sexily tousled, look at me fluff it!' *heart is aflutter!* :D

James/Lily is *so* classic romance, haha. It's like ever romance novel ever written. :/ My personal sekrit James ship is James/Sirius! Oh man OotP is so rife with James/Sirius, why does nobody write it? :( That line about Sirius being the only one he would stop showing off for was the most adorable thing ever to me, haha. And oh, the way Sirius still can't admit to himself that James is dead! Actually I think the reason it's not written that often is because it inevitably clashes with James/Lily and it gets *really* messy and angsty and probably trashily soap-opera-like. But I've this big kink for passionate friendships, and Harry/Ron's never worked for me in that aspect (I can't see H/R beyond boyish wankfic, they just don't have the right chemistry for anything more imo). So I sit around and mope at the lack of James/Sirius! Heh.

I read some James/Lily after OotP and it was ... fun, I guess? But sort of predictable, and not in that gleefully excellent way. (Would be interested if you tried your hand at it though!) I think the idea of James/Lily works better than the execution. I wonder if it is the same with James/Sirius. I shall ponder this while I stop procrastinating. Ahem.

Re: *procrastinates*

[malafede.livejournal.com]

My personal sekrit James ship is James/Sirius! Oh man OotP is so rife with James/Sirius, why does nobody write it?

... I like you. We should form a secret society.

Re: *procrastinates*

[darklites.livejournal.com]

:>

Its slogan can be, James/Sirius: at least they trusted each other. *is evil*

Re: *procrastinates*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

...I so hate you right now :))



Seriously man. Low blow, low blow.

Re: *procrastinates*

[darklites.livejournal.com]

:P

But it's just no fun to take the moral high ground. ;)

Re: *procrastinates*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

It's alright, I -like- it that Sirius & Remus always had trust issues. Makes it more interesting!

Spice, I say! Spice!!1

Re: *procrastinates*

[darklites.livejournal.com]

Well, they certainly need to find the spice somewhere.

Oh god, someone stop me. I actually have no issue with R/S. Haha!!

Re: *procrastinates*

[malafede.livejournal.com]

It's like how interesting that James was stilnovistically boycrushing on Lily on the side!

Re: *procrastinates*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I suppose I've never been able to get away from classic romance :> I am that much of a sucker, yes. (I mean. I like Harry/Ginny in terms of my idea of its possibilities, Ron/Hermione, Sirius/Remus-- all the obvious things). To me it's not enough that it's 'obvious' or 'really there' (which J/S might very well be)-- I need to feel it works as an interesting relationship-- which is what I tried to break down with the whole 'needs conflict' & 'needs an arc' thing. James/Lily has an arc-- James/Sirius is a union of like-with-like, and doesn't have an apparent inherent friction or direction, which makes me all 'meh' about it. I do think they could be cute together-- platonically-- in a S/R fic, AHAHAHAH. *coughs*

I have a big kink for passionate friendships too, it's just that it needs to be a certain kind of friendship where the people have compatible differences as well as things they share-- whereas I really don't see James & Sirius' clashing potential except that they might argue and fight over the same turf. Harry/Ron doesn't clash & doesn't quite work in a similar way, actually-- though Harry's not -like- Ron, they have a very speaking-the-same-language (or, well, not speaking and rather -doing- as the case may be-- which is why wanking works) type relationship. I think Sirius and Remus (to beat my dead horse) would need to -talk- more than Sirius & James, would need to grow more as people to succeed together, which is why they seem more interesting whether or not they're as 'there' as S/J in OoTP, y'know?

I don't like the predictability of J/L either-- so yeah, it's mostly an idea-type-thing. But I loooove classic pairings. Waaah. KATHARINE HEPBURN/SPENCER TRACY ALL THE WAY :D :D

Um. Since I myself haven't read any James/Lily, at least it has a good likelihood of not being like all the rest, I guess :>

Re: *procrastinates*

[malafede.livejournal.com]

James/Sirius is a union of like-with-like, and doesn't have an apparent inherent friction or direction

That's just not true. I mean, what you're saying it's that it doesn't follow the traditional story arc of prejudice/hate to rediscovery/love (sparkles happen). Sirius/James just deals with different (possibly more realistic, possibly more nihilist) sides of humanity. It's obsession, codependence, megalomania, irreverence, pathological ego-issues, domination, withdrawal. It's the inherent isolation of closed systems. It's homosocial behaviour. It's more a story than a love story, I think. Plus, this is people who know how to have fun.

Re: *procrastinates*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Why is it more realistic? I mean, I know opposites-attract is a cliche, but I have seen it happen as well as heard lots of anecdotal evidence as well as sort-of-kind-of experienced a relationship like that. Heh. I mean, I can see how it might not -last- if it's all passion-and-fire, but I dunno how that ties into realism, 'cause realistically most relationships don't last no matter -what- they're like.

The nihilist thing, I'll give you, and that's likely what makes my teeth ache with it. I'm pretty cynical when you push me-- that is, it might seem like I have my head in the clouds, but that's not really true. But nihilism is just as escapist/unrealistic as idealism is-- in fact, they're flip-sides of each other. It sort of makes me stomach hurt because it's so melodramatic and full of itself as a philosophy and as far as most believers being assholes I want to smack doesn't hurt.

Any passionate relationship can have obsession & codepedence-- that's just intense love. I can write any pairing with these attributes-- James/Lily no less so than James/Sirius. James is plenty obsessed with Lily, it seems, though the codependence implies insecurity which James doesn't seem given to.

Pathological ego-issues and the closed system thing... you're exactly right, more a story than a love story, which is why I can't see it in a romantic light. As a romance. And I'm always judging pairings by the 'how romantic' mark 'cause... to me love stories that aren't romantic just make me depressed and nauseous, which... seems to be going too far in the quest for realism. You can have feel-good realism, too. Or at least something with hope attached-- though clearly James/Lily is doomed, which is, as I said, why I don't really want to write it.

And as I keep saying-- I'm interested in their friendship-- homosocial behavior, etc. Yes. Romance-- it's just not cut out for.

Re: *procrastinates*

[malafede.livejournal.com]

And I'm always judging pairings by the 'how romantic' mark 'cause... to me love stories that aren't romantic just make me depressed and nauseous, which... seems to be going too far in the quest for realism.

Ahahah, I really think we'll never have anything other than H/D in common ship-wise because I hate romance as I see it basically as a way to spit on the common man and his shortcomings.

Re: *procrastinates*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Any ideal-based story/concept has the same effect though, not just romance-- that's just one of the myths humanity creates for itself-- though I don't really think romance is a myth, only an intensification/purification of the messiness of reality. As with any fairy-tale/legend, it's a useful tool, not meant to be a direct reflection of the everyday man or woman or child. This tendency to prettify & transfigure the common man & his travails is something that's deeply human and is a part of said common man-- I mean, it's folklore because it's the common folk who create it.

Perhaps we cannot achieve High Romance, in other words, but the story itself has value to comfort, inspire and touch people. That's why I started out my whole post with saying, 'my interest in romance is purely theoretical....'

Re: *procrastinates*

[malafede.livejournal.com]

And I meant codependency not as something you add to a canonical relationship, but as something you have as a basis for the relationship in the canon.

Re: *procrastinates*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I think my issue with codependecy (which I do tolerance in stories) comes out when I think there's no progression possible-- it's the stagnation that makes me somewhat nauseous. I -want- James to change because I want everyone to be able to change, for better or for worse, because without change we are dead. I say this as someone who personally hates changing, so really, it's a hard-won belief.

In a way, codependency is also the opposite of 'agape' love, because it is need-without-end-- without the ability to let go which lets you appreciate what you have in the first place. If you appreciate it because you can't not, then you're basically the same as an infant 'appreciating' (aka using) its mother. Which-- if one aspired to this as a love goal-- is just really sad to imagine going on and on and on, to me.

Re: *procrastinates*

[darklites.livejournal.com]

no inherent personality conflict and are examples of like-with-like seem to be the flaming antithesis of what I see as romantic or sexual. To me this is so basic-- to the point that I think it explains why most of us aren't attracted to our siblings or parents.

I missed this the first time 'round, so focussed on the James/Lily thing, heh. I am not sure how true this is, because do we really have no inherent personality conflicts with our siblings/parents? I am not sure this is a good comparison. And doesn't the whole 'bickering' romance cliche have more in common with a sibling relationship than anything else?

I think the reason I feel James/Sirius is that it seems that even after all these years, it's James who is still Sirius's center, you know? He was the one Sirius measured his whole life by, and there is something romantic in that to me (gah, how did I get H/D parallels into J/S?!). I guess to me J/S doesn't have an arc but they have an underlying connection of sorts that will carry them together throughout their lives. I suppose it could just be a platonic one, though. I'm torn on the idea of having a friendship be the most important relationship in your life, you know? In some ways it's so beautiful to me that I am almost dizzy by it, but then of course that whole sex thing gets in the way. Like you said, it seems that sexual love brings two people together to a place where nothing else can get you. I feel like James and Sirius are, for each other, That Person in their lives, that is, The Most Important. So yeah - Dilemma.

When you think about it J/L is totally Mills and Boon-esque!! The man is arrogant and dashing and popular, the woman tries to resist him. She is Fiesty (as evidenced by the red hair, because, y'know, that is the Symbol of The Feisty Woman). She refuses to have anything to do with him. The man has always known that they will be together, and knows she secretly wants him. Cue succeeding events where the woman will realise - gasp! - he was right! Eep. Thinking of it that way, I am almost scared of it.

Oh, and regarding the porn bit. I find that really interesting too, and I personally think that the backlash against porn is mainly due to sexuality being so fluid, so what is sexy to one person may not be sexy to another. Which is why the violence in pornography is so often called 'degrading to women', even though that line of argument is probably just as degrading to women since it implies that a streamline of sexual fetishes is disallowed, and there are 'male' and 'female' categories of sexual taste. Radical feminists totally scare me, man.

psst, I accidentally posted under the journal I sometimes lurk by when I am bored/have extra time, so I deleted it hahaha. *blush*

Re: *procrastinates*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Well, I wasn't going for 'no personality conflicts' so much as 'extreme familiarity breeds love/contempt = not conducive to romantic/sexual love'. Though your point about siblings bickering is a fascinating comeback, and of course parents & children bicker a lot too, often enough. :D Some siblings do, some don't-- I was just saying that the whole... 'part of your kind as I am' mentality is what tends to stop people from seeing their family 'that way', I guess...? As usual I over-generalized and opened myself up to obvious refutals, since (also as usual) I didn't re-read or think twice about most of this ^^;;;

I think there -are- parallels between J/S & H/D-- just ask malafede, or don't, she'll tell you anyway :> I've always been fascinated with the idea of messed-up friendship-fic for them for the sake of precisely this sort of dynamic, kinda, like Silvia's `And I Get By' (OMG MY BIBLE OF H/D FRIENDSHIP OMG WAH)-- but the reason it works for me is that they spent their lives apart, developed apart-- sort of like siblings who didn't grow up together. It gives it that crucial difference for me.

James & Sirius definitely do have a connection (why would I deny it? it's way obvious)-- I was only talking about different kinds of connective bonds (comparing it to chemistry & ionic/opposites vs. covalent/alike). I did say, also, that covalent-type friendship bonds are the foundations upon which most of us build our lives-- what more tribute could I give it? I am not in any way trying to undermine the importance of such a friendship. I am just saying it's not romantic, that is all.

I feel odd and unhappy about Sirius being so very focused on James post-Azkaban, but I feel it's just a sign of how messed-up Sirius is as much as how tight they were. Sirius is unhinged and obsessed-- it's not a 'normal' (if passionate) friendship so much as a complete mental break where he totally had to survive Azkaban by focusing all his will on revenge for James & Lily. It was the most important relationship because he really didn't have a life-- or what life he had was a tragedy. I really think it's a vital missing piece to show what his life was like post-Hogwarts but pre-Azkaban-- how did Sirius deal with married James and how close was he to Remus and the possibility that he -was- and still didn't trust him 'cause of the war going on just breaks me as much as anything. In fact, most things about both Remus & Sirius break me if I think about them too long.

I think it's a sign to what a pet of pop-culture romance I am that I don't mind (and in fact encourage) Mills & Boon!J/L. :> I was thinking recently of your list of 'types of romantics' & types of pairings they're attracted to-- and realized I fit under -every- type of romantic you listed :D I even kinda like Snape/Hermione! ^^;

I do think that sexuality might be fluid, but there wouldn't be backlash and hate if people weren't afraid of these differences and of their own strong preferences one way or the other, too :>

Re: *procrastinates*

[darklites.livejournal.com]

Oh! I wasn't feeling slighted or anything by what you said about James/Sirius. Honestly I am not really all that attached to them, I just really, really like the idea. :D I didn't think you shortchanged their friendship either, really - I was just sort of sorting out my own feelings about the pairing because apart from those lines in OotP that made me gleeful I haven't thought it out to a really huge extent. I agree about OotP Sirius - his obsession definitely had to do with Azkaban. And actually, I do agree that Remus could be the right person to help him heal (and he the one to heal Remus), since they need to cling to the friendship they once had. I just haven't ever had all that much desire to read about it - although it admittedly does intrigue me more than other pairings, like Remus/Snape, which I think is a disaster if there ever was one. ;)

Oh man, Mills and Boon scares me. In my last two years of high school, I went to an all-girls' Christian boarding school (and did not have any slashy experiences. IT IS ALL A LIE. hahaha. Although there were rumors. And we did all play up the joke.), and one of the people there had like, a huge collection that we'd giggle insanely over after curfew. And when I think of M&S type stories I just think of the gigglefits we'd have over the horrible porn in them haha.

I think I'm a romantic, but not a pop-culture romantic. Because in most pop-culture films the shmoopy romance makes my brain bleed, but for some reason, H/D just makes me turn into a puddle of GOO. I think my RL friends would not recognise me. But then again, I find fics where they kill each other totally romantic, so. :D

Re: *procrastinates*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I don't necessarily (or even mostly) like R/S for the post-Azkaban hurt/comfort aspect at all-- in fact, it kinda turns me off. I like Marauderish or post-Hogwarts stuff where it's just their personalities meshing :> Really I just think they're cute together ~:)) The whole hurt/comfort thing just seems... like something I don't -dislike- in concept, but yeah, not like something I need to read about 'cause it's so... eh, old people & their issues ^^;;;

Y'know, I'm not even sure what Mills & Boon is, there for a second there I'd thought it was the Archie cartoons (with the blonde girl & the brunette-- I have -no- idea why) which is why I said 'yeah, sure'. Hehehe though it's true I like a lot of pop-culture romance, I -am- picky :> I mean, I like `The Breakfast Club' & various Brat Pack movies, various wartime spunky-modern-woman-meets-good-old-boy movies, comic pairings like Rogue/Gambit and various TV things like uh... well, Buffy/Spike & Mulder/Scully comes to mind. That's all pop-culture but I don't think it's shmoopy necessarily. Then again, deathfic of any kind just depresses the hell out of me. Wah, am chicken :>

Re: *procrastinates*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

And his whole smug 'my hair is so sexily tousled, look at me fluff it!'

AHAHAH CANON JAMES IS LIKE MAYA'S DRACO EXCEPT HE'D BE TRYING TO SMOOTH IT INSTEAD. *COMPLETELY DEAD TEN TIMES OVER*

Re: *procrastinates*

[cellia.livejournal.com]

I just want to say that I am *so* with you on James/Sirius.

Actually I think the reason it's not written that often is because it inevitably clashes with James/Lily and it gets *really* messy and angsty and probably trashily soap-opera-like.

I actually love this part of it... although I'd want to see it non-trashy and just everybody of that triangle having love for the others, just different types...

The problem, or maybe what makes such relationships hard to write, is that they lack that obvious, near-symbolic contrast that reena writes about liking in romance.

I think the conflict often makes a cool fic easier to write; just twist the tropes halfway and you're at something sexy/interesting/resonating. But the fics that have more friendship/life partner flavor to them, they stand on the skill of the author at capturing subtleties of character and making us care about the non-drama of the relationship (one good way to do this is to set it against actual dramatic events... my fav genre of fic, btw). Not quite as much bang for your buck, but when done well, man I love 'em... :)

Re: *procrastinates*

[darklites.livejournal.com]

Yeah - I think one of the reasons Remus/Sirius is so popular because it is sort of very ... neat, you know? Because James had Lily, and Sirius and Remus can pair off (poor Peter, he gets nobody). And not to say that R/S doesn't have appeal and interesting issues in its own right (*cowers from Reena* ;) ), but yes, James/Sirius just seems to be so much more difficult because the ending of the story dictates that it won't end 'happily', and it doesn't tie things up in a pretty bow, I guess?

Most James/Sirius out there is just buddyfucking, which kind of disappoints me because I think their canonical relationship is more than that.

Re: *procrastinates*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Alright, you invoked my name so here I am ;))
Anyway, just here to have your token objection on how Remus/Sirius doesn't end happily or tie up in a pretty bow either :> 'Cause, y'know, Sirius = dead, etc.

Re: *procrastinates*

[darklites.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, and after OotP I actually had cravings to read Sirius/Remus for a bit. :> I kind of enjoyed the tragic atmosphere that was a part of the whole dynamic after the death.

R/S did become popular way before OotP and the death though. And I guess I was talking more about how it was neat in the way that the characters are paired off. James/Sirius ends unhappily because it's canon that one of them ends up married to someone else; Remus/Sirius ends unhappily because one of them dies, but they can still be The One for each other, I guess?

Re: *procrastinates*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Yeah all right, you've got me (*grumbles*)-- I admit one of the major things that puts me off J/S-type pairings is 'cause in terms of romance, marriage is pretty much worse than death, ahahah. Death is romantic, marriage is evil, evil, eeeeevil (unless you're marrying your True Love Omg, in which case... it might or might not be evil, depending).

So yeah. Er. I actually... er... fell in love with R/S 'cause of `Drawing Down the Moon', which I read pre-OoTP, so I can't talk at -all-, really. I tend to fall for pairings 'cause I read them in fic-- either blatantly in canon or in fanon. I totally don't extrapolate from canon, which makes me some sort of insane blend of canon whore & fanon whore o_0 Er. Text whore??! Er? (Wheeee I confuse EVERYONE!)

So yes, they can still be The One which, I admit, is what I like :>