reenka: (A NICE BOY. SOMETIMES.)
[personal profile] reenka
I keep seeing people on my flist say they'll immigrate from America if the wrong candidate wins today. And it just makes me... sad.

I think once one becomes a refugee once, the idea of just leaving... again... for lesser or even the same reasons... just seems.... Untenable.


I mean, I always thank my lucky stars I'm not in Russia right now. But that's because every single aspect of being in Russia in the 90s would've been utter hell-- not least because the country had undergone a drastic metamorphosis in just a couple of years, where it became nearly unrecognizable. I may as well have left, because the place I remember from my childhood was nearly destroyed by its own people trying to have their capitalist revolution. Not just the person in office-- every single thing was falling apart, and even then... man, immigration is a nightmare. People joke about it, but it's a nightmare, even leaving young. I guess everything is more stark in comparison or something.

That is, I do want to live in England-- but that's because I love England so so much, not because I don't love America, which I do. I can't imagine leaving because I can't stand (the people in charge of) my country... not even 'cause I'm so patriotic but because it's so very very traumatic to do that. Everything you know-- everything you love-- your whole life-- gone. It's like, do people get that? They'd be leaving their history behind, a lot of their identity behind, everything familiar and comfortable to become a stranger in a strange land. I mean, I've never really talked about immigration-- that's how traumatic it was to me. But the reason my father left, taking me & my mother, is because there was no life for us there-- every opportunity was in America. In America, you can really live. In America, they could cure my father's cancer. In America, things are different. *sigh*.

And even with all the things that went wrong here lately-- this is still America, and the spirit remains. In Russia, the spirit itself was close to dying-- people were so beaten down and afraid and intimidated by the system-- but even so, life was good to us, y'know? I had a happy childhood, and so did my mother and so did my grandmother, who was born 5 years after the revolution. She had to leave Moscow because the Nazis were close to the outskirts before she started medical school-- and it was just a challenge, you know, something to overcome. My family didn't immigrate then, or during the Stalin era even though my great-grandfather was part of the upper echelons of government and also Jewish-- which meant the fear of being sent to Siberia or killed was constant.

I just feel really strongly about this.

We survived Reagan, didn't we. And Nixon. We'll survive even another 4 years of Bush if it comes to that. The point is for the people to care and then it doesn't matter as much who's in office, not that it matters -now-.

It's just, I think of my grandparents, who were my age when WW2 was going on. My other grandma had to flee Minsk (Belorussia), not just temporarily like my grandma Maya, but permanently, because they messed it up that bad-- the bombs were falling several blocks away from where she lived. She just took what she could carry & walked out of the city in a procession of her neighbors and other people from Minsk, catching a ride south. She never came back home-- during all the rest of her life.

Well, the point is-- she survived that without bitterness. There was such strength back then, such hope in the midst of utter danger & devastation. I get a lump in my throat just thinking about it, though obviously I've only heard stories-- how my grandma worked in the parachute factory in the Crimea somewhere, while my other grandma finished medical school in the boonies, because she refused to stop her life for the war, refused to leave her identity behind, refused to give in no matter what happened. And then after they'd 'won', it still wasn't over-- intellectuals and Jews and "rebels" and all sorts of 'different-thinking' people lived every day under the threat of death and exile, and they just-- lived their lives. There wasn't even hope, precisely, only a sort of grim determination to keep going-- to cling to what normalcy there was in completely extreme conditions. Nearly everyone was too poor to afford their own apartment in the 50s & 60s (in the Soviet Union), so families lived 2 or 3 to a 2-bedroom flat. Sometimes there was bread in the stores and sometimes there wasn't (unless you had an 'in' or 'blat' as it's called). And yet, no one could leave-- even that freedom was nearly nonexistent. And though my mother & her parents and grandparents lived well compared to the majority of people, the danger was always there, and no matter what, there was nowhere to go.

Life was good, though. Or rather life went on as it always does. Because no matter what some tyrant or totalitarian government may do to a country, life goes on, and eventually there's always a chance-- if you wait for it long enough. If you insist on living to see it-- this too shall pass.

Human beings are really very stubborn, and there's nothing anyone can do about the fact that in the end, the people do shape their own destiny.
~~

As far as beautiful distractions go (may they forever perpetuate themselves), I've been looking at [livejournal.com profile] hunkwarts, and omg, I know I say I can't stand Lucius, but [livejournal.com profile] cluegirl's Lucius pin-up is a thing of pure beauty (& also lust-- omg lust). Yeah, all right, Lucius as decadent Naked Nordic Noble (...yes, I am just that lame). And also that shallow. Though even so, the real reason I can't get into the Lucius Love is because Elric does it better, yo.
    And we won't even go into the power snake-wielding!half-naked!Harry has over me, because dude o_0 Not to mention [livejournal.com profile] kayen's sword-wielding!H/D, because. Er. Right, then.

Also: is there anyone reading this whose favorite writer is also Patricia McKillip? I've just finished reading `Alphabet of Thorn', and I remembered why I love her writing more than anyone else's, ever.
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