...omg, huge-ass MEME FROM HELL.
Oct. 27th, 2004 03:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkaI'm insaaaaane...! Whyyyyy did I do the huge meme with rating all those ships and then wrote blurbs about how I saw them??
Because I started and never know when to stop?
Because I am just that bored?
Because I'm just that compulsive?
Because I really have no shame or sense of proportion...???
Whatever it is, I'll just post it and go to sleep. Goodbye and good riddance to yet another brilliant, Reena-approved time-wasting strategy carefully designed so I wouldn't have to actually (gasp!) Do Work.
A Disclaimer: Just because I say so, doesn't mean I'm trying to convince anyone it's The Ultimate Truth Omg.
- Draco/Ginny - ***
I see this working, possibly, in an AU where there was no threat of Voldemort, and possibly no Harry to make Draco obsess over beating him and following him and such. If Draco were more laid back, he could get enamoured of Ginny in spite of himself, with her spitfire confidence and her Quidditch skills (they'd have at least that in common) and her way of getting under his skin (if they came in contact), since she doesn't hold back around him any more than Hermione does (in CoS), but Ginny is easier to provoke on a more personal level and in more ways (considering her Weasley temper). So at least emotionally, I could see her having more weaknesses than Hermione for Draco to exploit, emotionally, and she's non-sensible enough to fall for some of those common boys' tricks.
They're both rather physical people, and extroverted-- she could keep up with Draco & not wilt under the censure of Slytherin girls. She could definitely hold her own with Pansy, after living with her mum & all those brothers. She's also able to love Draco without reservation (which is the sort of love Draco probably wants) should he ever manage to er... stop being a complete and utter git.
--
- Draco/Hermione - **
Bleh. While there are "issues" to explore (considering she's a Muggle-born & he... er... is a prejudiced git), I don't see their personalities as at all suited, which is the most important thing for me. I mean, I've read a couple of D/Hr one-shots which I've found hot because Hermione was totally dominating/using Draco while having him wrapped around her little finger, but... any idea that Draco could stand up to her any better than Ron makes me laugh, really. I've tried writing this pairing, and basically, I cannot see what Hermione would want with him-- it's not as if she's only friends with brainy people (considering Ron & Harry), but there has to be some spark of attraction to some quality there, since they can't just... hang out and get used to each other, and he doesn't seem to need her help like Ron & Harry do.
I really don't see Draco as Hermione's "equal" in any way, which wouldn't be the problem if I saw them as complementary instead (which I can't, since she's unlikely to back down and neither is he, which doesn't sound promising). I don't think Draco could really exert his maleness over her, either-- but he resents her besting him (anyone besting him) too much, I imagine, to just... give in and roll over. On the other hand, I don't even know if they'd argue since Hermione doesn't get carried away like Harry and Ron do-- she'd just make her point and get on with more interesting things. I don't think she'd get obsessed like the boys could, and Draco can't touch her insecurities because-- well-- I can't imagine her thinking she'd need to prove herself to -him-.
While they could compete with each other, Draco would just -lose- in any intellectual contest just as Hermione would lose in any sports-related (Quidditch, say) contest, so it wouldn't be much of a competition. She could tutor him but what could he teach her...? Where's the balance?
I could see her taking Draco on as a new project-- deciding to liberate him from his delusional views, say. I could see Draco gradually growing to tolerate her, if not like her. I could see her learning to find him funny (sometimes-- since she doesn't find Ron all that funny, and he's not as mean-spirited, even). She could perhaps (with a lot of work) learn to control Draco's mood-swings and make him more... presentable I suppose. He could have some hidden talent for the Dark Arts she's interested in, and if you had Dark!Hermione, she could maybe use Draco. They could use each other for various purposes, but I see the intellectual/emotional gulf between them as much too wide. She might as well be 20 years older than he is, really.
--
- Draco/Pansy - **
They make a great pair-- partners in crime, all that. I mean, we don't know much about Pansy, but she's certainly close enough to a female version of Draco, it seems-- loud, mocking, popular among her little clique, stylish & emotional (what with the crying when Draco was slashed and such). She can handle his moods, is probably fiercely loyal, and they share a world-view from all appearances, which makes conversations rather easy. They've known each other since the beginning of school, and still hang around each other, which means they've probably gotten rather close. They're unlikely to have a great rift unless something goes wildly wrong and they change the allegiances-- but overall, it's never made sense to me that Draco just -didn't like- Pansy. They probably understand each other, at the very least, and why not fool around? They could trust the other not to be... 'weird' in the morning, right? Though really, I imagine Pansy is counting on Draco always being around (as the husband type) while Draco is so immature he's probably scared to death of the idea, no matter how much he thinks she's a good friend.
However, that doesn't seem like a great romance to me. Too predictable. Like shagging your sister, really.
--
- Dumbledore/McGonagall - *
Um. I suppose they make great partners-- McGonagall is strict and no-nonsense, while Dumbledore is a visionary who seems to act intuitively much of the time, though of course he must be capable of much rational thought. However... well, old people romance, man. It's just not my thing.
--
- Harry/Draco - *****
Man, it doesn't make sense but it works for me-- explosively. Draco is obsessed with Harry-- Draco wants to beat Harry-- Draco wants to mash Harry's face into the ground and hear him scream 'uncle'-- that much is obvious in canon. Draco will probably never get that chance, but maybe he deserves it. Maybe Harry needs to figure out that not all Slytherins are slime, and maybe Harry needs to stop judging people as unworthy human beings based on their petty stupid remarks towards him. Before OoTP, Harry's been pretty fixated on Draco, too-- what will Malfoy think? Will Malfoy laugh at his failure? Will Malfoy do something to make Harry look bad? Does Malfoy know more than Harry? Why does Malfoy get all special attention-- he's just a spoiled little brat (it's hilarious how Draco thinks the same of Harry, probably).
I don't think they're really equals, as is-- Malfoy's not as good as Harry in Quidditch or anything else, so any competition is really a moot point. Harry could (and has) wiped the ground with him-- the only question is, should he keep doing that, or does Draco deserve a chance to prove himself, too?
Their personalities are a bit like oil and water-- Draco kind of exemplifies everything Harry can't stand in a person-- he's selfish, spoiled, mean-spirited & bullying, petty, obsessed with material things and arrogant in the extreme. Harry, on the other hand, can also be rather arrogant and self-centered and heedlessly cruel (if only to Malfoy)-- so really it's a bit like pot/kettle in some ways. Their environments are completely opposite from each other, which creates this great gulf in understanding between them, which they actually seem to cling to and perpetuate way past reason-- but if understanding did occur, it'd be revolutionary and it couldn't help but change their lives around completely.
On the other hand, Malfoy's got the things Harry wants from the start-- acceptance in the wizarding world, a family which seems to dote upon him, ease and comfort with magic-use and Hogwarts. Just as Harry, by winning again and again, makes Draco feel bad, Draco had made -Harry- feel inadequate, something which Harry had to overcome through proving himself. In OoTP, of course Harry had bigger fish to fry than Draco, but Draco's still there-- vowing not to let him alone, vowing to dog his steps till the end and get his revenge.
Draco won't let go no matter what Harry does to him, and Harry really doesn't care, except he -does-, because Malfoy is such a convenient target and outlet for all his frustrations with his life and his place in the wizarding world. Malfoy has a father, but he's a bastard-- just like Harry... but Malfoy deserved it! Malfoy has a 'court' (fan-club) just like Harry-- but they're evil cackling hyenas! Malfoy is angry at unfair treatment, just like Harry-- but he's wrong and he's got it coming to him!!
Man, they're beautifully delusional together. Just imagine what would happen if they woke up to reality! Yeah, pretty much all bets are off.
It's drama! It's angst! It's obsession! Most of all it's boy-crushing (HE WANTS HIM! YOU SO KNOW HE SO TOTALLY DOES IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY EXCEPT IT SO IS), omg!! <3333333333
--
- Harry/Ginny - **
I can maybe see this not being a painfully bad idea with some changes to both of them-- basically, with time. I actually don't see this as a fluffy/happy/predictable pairing because the Ginny in my head, at least, is not really a bubble-headed sweet child and Harry's not the gracious romantic knight to sweep her off her feet. Harry's got all kinds of issues which cut him off from people, emotionally, so it makes sense that he doesn't return Ginny's interest-- but that's what's intriguing. It's possible for her, having gotten over her crush but retaining that soft spot for Harry, to... care enough to fight past his barriers (since she's got the Weasley temper & the audacity) while not being so indulgent and just plain used to his behavior to just accept him. Harry would really resent that, of course, but Ginny wouldn't wilt in his arms like Cho would, and she isn't afraid of the dark, either-- she could hold her own physically at the same things Harry's good at (flying & Defense Against the Dark Arts) and she's had at least some experience with what Harry's had to deal with so she -knows- at least partly where he's coming from. Or she could figure it out.
So there's definitely potential. As for whether any particular fanfic explores it in an interesting way-- I doubt it. And the jury is out on whether JKR's Harry/Ginny will make me ill or not, also.
--
- Harry/Hermione - *
Ugh.
I actually really liked the idea after watching the first HP movie (ahahah), but the more I got to know them, the less I like the idea. They're good partners and work great together (like Draco & Pansy), but they simply work -too- well together, I think. There's no real emotional conflict between them, since Harry listens to Hermione more than anyone else, and Hermione seems to feel like she's there to dispense sage advice to Harry like some wise older sister or something. They respect and need each other, and of course there's affection there too, but they aren't really on the same page as far as just hanging out and having fun-- 'cause Hermione has got this need to nag ("Harry do this", "Harry do that") which means Harry would probably either tend to bring Ron along to take the brunt of Hermione's negative attention or escape -with- Ron. She's very project oriented, and while she's great in a crisis, she doesn't actually share casual interests with Harry.
As far as personality matching-- they get along well, but what's really there to kick them to the next level? They're comfortable together and Hermione naturally assumes control when she's comfortable-- and unlike Ron, Harry likely lets her unless he feels really strongly, and in that case he'll just run off on his own and not listen at all (unless she wanted to follow -him-). I can't really see them disagreeing seriously, because both of them would need 100% control if they really cared and disagreed on the direction. It just... it's a very solid friendship.
--
- Harry/Lucius - *
I can see this as abusive and destructive and wrong, and while that might appeal to somebody, that somebody isn't me. Harry -hates- Lucius and thinks he's absolute evil, disgusting and stupidly ostentatious (which he is)-- and Lucius just wants to either use or destroy Harry for his Master. Harry is probably still -stronger- than Lucius, magic-wise, and is likely to be even more sadistic/crazed if Lucius ever did manage to get one up on Harry. People think Lucius is meaner/scarier, but I don't think that's true-- I think Harry is. Harry can so make Lucius his bitch, except that'd make Harry -like- him, which he'd never allow himself to be. All that's there in this pairing is non-con, and that just... doesn't do it for me.
--
- Harry/Neville - **
I don't hate it or anything, but I don't see why it's the Greatest Thing Evar, post-OoTP. Neville has an interesting connection to Harry (both being pre-destined to... something or other, and both losing parents), and a stubborn streak which would allow him to stand up to Harry-- but I really don't see the spark in all this. They have to work together, and challenging each other or flirting or being randy seems like something that'd get in the way of their mutual focus on what -has- to be done. Neville's unlikely to loosen Harry up or vice versa, especially after the war really gets going. While they might have interesting conversations and an emotional connection, Neville's really rather passive unless he's pushed, which just serves Harry's own apathy. What would ever happen?
Besides, the woobie thing kinda annoys me. Woobies? What are they, four? Are they cute when they destroy Voldemort together, too?
--
- Harry/Tom - ***
Heheheh if only someone wrote this the way I'd want them to. It has potential, since Tom would so exarcerbate Harry's dark tendencies and they are alike in many ways but there's -friction- because Harry doesn't -want- to be like that, so he'd be falling, falling, falling. Tom would feed on his fear and Harry's character would get a nice little test, now wouldn't it. Tom is quite obviously Harry's Jungian Shadow (in a different way than Draco), and it's just delicious, imagining what they could get up to together and how they could destroy and remake each other in whoever's image.
On the other hand, Tom's kinda... noncorporeal. Puts a damper on things, doesn't it.
--
- Hermione/Ginny - **
I want to like this, but can't find a foothold as to what their dynamic would center around. I like Ginny femslash, and yet I don't see the center of why she'd be attracted to Hermione-- their personalities are so different and yet not different in obviously complementary ways, I guess. I think they'd talk because basically they're the only girls of their mutual close acquaintance and of course because Hermione's friends with Ron, she'd spend a lot of time with the Weasleys. I like the idea of Ginny making Hermione loosen up and just chat & talk about all manner of things (without Hermione feeling the need to 'mother' or nag or take care of Ginny)-- but they both need a friend like that. While they might fool around (showing each other 'the ropes', especially with Hermione's desire to know all about something before she does it), I can't see it getting serious.
--
- Hermione/McGonnagal - *
Seriously, man, that just creeps me out. Your stuffy, uptight older-butch Professor starts giving you -those- looks. Hermione would freak completely. I mean... that's a huge betrayal of trust and a certain implicit kinship. Plus, they're too alike.
--
- Hermione/Pansy - *
It's got a lot of the same problems that Draco/Hermione has, but is slightly more interesting because the girl/girl dynamic would throw Hermione off more, plus Pansy's got the potential to hit Hermione's insecurities 'cause she's a 'pretty popular girl' and Hermione hates her on a much more personal level ("she's such a COW"). I doubt that Pansy's got the same need to prove herself against Hermione that Draco does, or the desperate hatred of Mudbloods that covers up her inadequacies (at least in my head), so it's more of an even playing field. They're both calculating stubborn bitches in their different ways.
The problem, really, is that girls fight dirty (that is, any rivalry would be much more messy and subtle) and Hermione really wouldn't sink that low because she's got little to gain from winning over Pansy. It just doesn't click for me on a personality level, 'cause I don't see the attraction even though I do see the potential conflict.
--
- Lavender/Parvati - *
Best friends giggling together and trying on skirts and lipstick.... Next!
Well, except if they're naked and have nice breasts, but that's more of a visual thing.
--
- Lily/Narcissa - **
They're really pretty together and there's that stereotypical icy/fiery thing that I'm a slave to (Lily snarks and hisses, tossing back her hair in that arrogant Gryffindor way-- Narcissa watches, her nose turned up, softly murmuring mean little barbs that drive Lily mad). Girl-fighting, except on a classier, more epic level-- 'cause I just think Lily & Narcissa are more concentrated (intense?) distillations of Gryffindor/Slytherin (than Hermione or Pansy), and man, do I ship those two houses.
It's like Ron/Draco without the guilt, sort of, and with breasts. It could be pretty, except it's kinda depressing unless you write complete AU, since we all know what happened (death and marriage to Lucius-- which is worse??)
--
- Lily/James - ***
Heeeee! I don't care how cliche it is, I love it love it love it! He's a hopeless smirking bastard who (thinks he can) have anyone, and she's there to tear him down and show him the boot! He's just like all the guys, insensitive and callous and without any common human decency! The berk! Who does he think he is??! Ingrate! She'll show him! Someone needs to show him, those dreadful friends of his (even that nice Remus) are no better than he is, and allow him free run of the place!
He crushes over her, she doesn't care; she's too good for the likes of him! He's a popular jock and she's beautiful but 'down to earth', and she holds the moral superiority card over him, which drives him -mad- 'cause he's so sure he's right all the time! And yet he wants to change for her, 'cause she's so beautiful, she has to be his!! "Never!" she cries. "You'll be mine yet, beautiful!" he cries back, and she hates his swagger and wants to kick him in the shin, but some part of her just melts 'cause he looks at her like that (and she can't stand it! She can't! It's awful! He's awful!!)
Eventually, they both soften and she changes him while she becomes as enamoured with him as she'd sworn she'd never be! She probably still teases him (and likely still dislikes Sirius, who refuses to change-- mongrel!), but he's used to the teasing and wouldn't have it any other way!
It's every teenage romance I don't want to admit I watched/read/squeed over! HEEEE.
--
- Lucius/Narcissa - *
Man. I wrote this pairing... and I think it has potential in that people-I-don't-like-and-their-issues sort of way, but man, I would care except... I don't like them. Lucius is a prick as far as I'm concerned, and Narcissa probably is actually worse than he is (man, though I'm interested in her relationship with Sirius). I think they used to be passionate, early on (judging from Draco & Sirius & Sirius' mum), but considering who they became, it seems like marriage sucked all the soul from them both (if following Voldemort didn't do it).
I'm vaguely curious as to how they really were in Hogwarts (if the romance started there), but I fear it'd be much too predictable (shipping people who're married doesn't work for me unless I -really- like them). Somehow I doubt Lucius was ever free-spirited or sincere enough to pursue Narcissa because he -wanted- to (rather than thinking she was a good match). If they -were- in love, it's so depressing thinking of what it all came down to. Bleh. Plus they're both dreadfully snotty/pathetic/cringe-inducing for me. Not even mean in a cool-ass extravangant camp way but in that creeping, all too common fakely sophisticated wanker way. God, I can't stand either of them.
--
- McGonagall/Trelawney - **
Actually, this might be interesting, if only the idea of them naked didn't make me want to run screaming.
--
- Remus/Tonks - *
All right, I'll admit it, I have a grudge against this pairing, if only because I want Remus to be Sirius' forever and ever amen, or at least gay... or at least hope he's not interested in a girl 20 years younger than he is, with virtually no common interests between them, who's related to his dead friend. I think they'd make interesting friends-- and Remus -does- need someone to talk to-- but I don't see what the attraction is... I mean, she's clumsy and cheerful and a bit on the wild side, he's... complex and reticent and tired and bookish. If she were younger, it'd be a quirky geek-meets-grrl pairing, but as it is, it's just... oddly not fitting.
Besides, I like to think Tonks is gay. But even so, this is nowhere near as squicky as Harry/Tonks (which just sounds like someone's masturbatory dream of getting 'that hot girl with the pink hair'), so maybe it gets points for that.
--
- Riddle/Lucius - *
Makes absolutely zero sense to me, unless you like reading about minions sucking their master's cock. Which I don't. At all. More boring than squicky.
--
- Riddle/McGonagall - **
Actually, I like this idea. It's probably my second favorite theoretical Riddle pairing after Tom/Hagrid because of the juxtaposition involved-- McGonagall is Ordered Good while Tom is Chaotic Evil... it's certainly intellectually stimulating to think about, and I think she wouldn't back down from Riddle any more than Dumbledore would, which would intrigue Tom. It would allow one to explore Tom's character while in Hogwarts and so on. It's kind of like Draco/Hermione except brought to an uber-level of absolutes-- kinda like high-powered poker or something. They're both very strong personalities, and if they ever butted heads (I mean personally, not magically), it couldn't help but be... interesting.
She'd never sleep with him, though.
--
- Ron/Draco - *
I do find it interesting-- that is, the boy-fighting and Weasley vs. Malfoy rivalry and Ron's explosive temper and cute barbs (and probably fists) going against -Draco's- temper and whatever low-blow jokes he can muster-- but duuude. Angry wanks just aren't enough, and I don't see where it could -go-, really, since they really do resent each other too much to relent past the illicit groping stage (I think). They both hold on to grudges, so who's going to 'give' first? I think both of them find it too much fun to let out their frustrations by honestly despising each other with no great hidden Meaning or Untold Yearning For Love. They're both prejudiced against each other and they like it that way. However, the wanking could get hot.
Mostly, I just have issues 'cause I ship them both elsewhere, and the pairing kinda contradicts H/D in a blatant way-- that is, I can't imagine H/D and R/D in the same breath, so to speak. But even so, they just annoy me-- all wank and anger and conflict with no resolution but orgasms. It's just... dull, actually, 'cause even though they're both cute in their own ways, I don't think they're that cute/snarky together. They wouldn't control themselves enough for the snark to really flow, I guess. In my mind. But really, the obvious... er... OTP issue says it all for me.
--
- Ron/Hermione - ****
Heheheh!! Man, I've heard of a lot of 'meh, they're annoying' after OoTP, but they shall never be annoying to me. The bookish bossy practical girl and the hot-tempered (yet insecure & awkward!) mischievous kid... man, it's just too cute. It's not that I even care about whether they have a 'future' together, I just like how they get on each other's nerves (ahahah "she's a nightmare, honestly") and how Ron can't resist teasing her even though she's "scary" (heeeee) but she's all straight-laced, and how she tolerates him anyway and tries to make him 'improve', but of course he wouldn't, hehehe.
And really, Hermione's not -that- straight-laced anymore, and partly I think it's Ron's bad, bad influence (teheeeee). People say that Hermione doesn't appreciate Ron enough, but of course she wouldn't-- that would be part of the final climb to er, The Date or right after. Besides, it's only the end of 5th year yet, there's plenty of time. I just love how they work well together as a team and are friends, but are still so nasty to each other, still unable to really handle each other (it's so cute!! "Honestly, Ron...")
And you -know- if she let up even a little, he'd just totally be putty in her hands, and as soon as Hermione realizes that.... ahahahahahah. Man, it makes me laugh and laugh. Omg, the misbegotten perfume purchases! The jealousy! The endless circling! The pretending like he doesn't care! The inability to resist baiting her and ruining his chances (heeeee)! The battle of the sexes!! *deranged cackling ensues* I don't think they'd ever really 'get along' completely, fully appreciating each other without constant misunderstandings and little spats, but omg I love that, because I just -know- that Ron would never ever leave her and he really does respect her and he's so totally grown on Hermione like a semi-pleasant fungus, who could also play chess and make jokes she almost sekritly, in her heart of hearts, someday finds funny!!1 heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I FEEL A R/HR FIC COMING ON.
--
- Sirius/Remus - *****
Man, how could I not love it? I'm all about personality contrasts and juxtapositions, and when there are similarities except differently expressed (anger expressed vs. anger repressed), I just get... really happy! In my head, it's just completely complementary, and without the rough edges of miscommunication that Ron & Hermione (...or Harry & Draco) have-- while still having plenty of issues, mostly because Sirius keeps doing stupid things and messing everything up and violating the trust between them, and Remus does seem to forgive, but somehow I doubt he forgets. So there are all these undercurrents of misalignment, but they're not on the forefront of their interaction-- that is, they don't bicker. It's more subtle and deadly than that, running along the seams of their friendship, which makes it fascinating to me. They are so loyal to each other (after Sirius returns, all it takes is basically a look from him, doesn't it), and so mistrustful....
What I really love is the basic Marauder-era dynamic, though-- the wicked heedless arrogant boy and his subdued reasonable friend with the deep dark currents through him to match and outmatch anything Sirius was or could be. Not so hidden dark currents, too. And god, I love it that they became Animagi for Remus, and somehow it's just so obvious to me that wasn't James' idea, and omg Sirius is a dog(!) to Remus' wolf(!) and... god, it just makes me so happy! I'm not reasonable at all, obviously, I just completely adore them.
I can just see smirking Sirius, with the unbuttoned collar and the rougish glint in his eyes sitting next to a shabby-looking kid with messy hair and a soft-looking sweater, his fringe falling into his eyes and a soft, secret half-smile on his lips whenever he looked over at Sirius. <3333333333333 SO MUCH LOVE.
--
- Snape/Draco - *
God. I don't mind student/teacher, but this is the one pairing that makes me think "child abuse!!" That is -so- taking advantage of authority-- since Draco looks up to him, he'd probably even -want- it, or might have a crush or whatever, but it's all so... decimation of innocence & trust that I just can't stand it. And also it has zero real romantic potential (which bothers me in any pairing because I'm a wuss like that).
So while Snape's Draco's potential mentor and guide (that is, they have things to offer each other-- since Draco would listen to Snape and take him seriously, and Snape does so want that)... if you make them lovers, it all goes haywire. Draco needs some sort of healthy role-model other than Lucius, someone who's not -too- involved with him.
It's also so very squicky to me 'cause of the sheer physical 'bleh' of Snape, that greasy-haired snarling git, falling upon this delicate pink-cheeked skinny boy. Man, the mental images. GET THEM AWAY!!
--
- Snape/Hagrid - *
All right, I suppose they're both victims... or something. But I really can't see what would the actual motivations be besides "you listen to my ANGEST AND PANE", and "god, I'm so pathetic I'd even be willing to wank Hagrid".
--
- Snape/Harry - ***
There are possibilities there-- for snark (very important!!), for Snape to wake up and smell the coffee (also important!), for Harry to come to terms with Slytherins and his OMG EV01 POTIONS PROFESSOR!!1 (natch).... There's all that pent up rage and resentment and their need to work together and their potential to understand each other. Snape isn't what I'd call the sex god of my dreams (although actually he might be if he washed his hair and went out more), and Harry is rather unlikely to swoon with lust anytime soon, but I love the intensity of the dynamic, and there's definitely quite a bit of complexity there.
Seeing it as romantic or 'meant to be' hurts my head, though, so I'm left with rough sex with ugly oily gits and painful confrontations where I get to watch Snapey crack. Not always as bad as it sounds.
--
- Snape/Hermione - ***
I actually sekritly like this pairing, ahahahah. And Snape/Lily. I HAVE NO SHAME.
I dunno, it's kinda creepy if it's in Hogwarts (somehow I just assume Harry can take care of himself if it really came to that, but with Hermione it's less of an even match even though she's probably as good a witch as Snape is a wizard if not better). I don't think they're actually that good of a match personality-wise, necessarily (I like to think Snape needs someone more fiery where he is bile and dark water)-- but I could be convinced. I mean, there's the intellectual connection, the obsessive-compulsive thing, and they're certainly both head-strong so there should be sparks. Sexy it's not, though. Plus it's weird to imagine who'd be the 'man' in the relationship, so to speak o_0
--
- Snape/Lucius - *
GOD I BLOODY HATE THIS PAIRING. I think it's 'cause there's this fanon thing where Snape supposedly had some sort of 'thing' with Lucius and still either respects or acts like he defers to him, which drives me up the wall. It's the slick-oily Slytherins-stick-together thing that makes me batty, too. Of course Lucius dominated him and humiliated him and yet Snape pined after him anyway. It's just... I have no words. So he took it from Lucius but hated it in James & Sirius? That's just way too disgusting (if possibly even believable) for me. HATE HATE HATE.
--
- Snape/Lupin - **
I always thought I -could- be interested (juxtaposing personalities again), but never quite found a 'hook'. Snape is not quite the right balance to Lupin, 'cause they both hide things and are also intense-- who'd crack first? I suppose Snape has less blatant anger towards Lupin when compared to Sirius, but Lupin baits him too, in his passive-agressive little way. It'd be an odd relationship for sure. It bothers me how people whitewash Lupin (making him Snape's 'savior' or the nice boy who likes the greasy git) in what little impression of that pairing I've had.
--
- Snape/Sirius - ***
Like Ron/Draco, in that it's good for a nice wank between enemies, but what else is there, really? They do have more deep-seated issues, considering that Snape had a whole history of being bullied by Sirius and then there's Sirius trying to have him maimed or killed with the Shack incident, so.... There's certainly plenty to draw upon. However, that's some deeply rooted hatred, right there. I can't imagine anything that'd make them trust each other for a second-- since clearly Snape changing sides didn't help a thing.
There's some hot wanking action, though, which is... something. And the snark has to be delicious-- so it's definitely gets an extra star just for the possibility for snark, because I really am that easy.
--
- Snape/Luna - *
ARE YOU COMPLETELY INSANE??!??!??!
--
- Remus/Hermione - *
Sort of like Snape/Hermione, except more-- much morelimp soft-spoken. "Would you like some tea, Hermione?" "Why thank you, I'd love some. Should I read to you from the Keats or the Shelley tonight, Remus?" "Either is fine." "Okay. How do you think Harry's doing." "Why don't you owl him, Hermione?" "Okay."
And then they both sigh, and Hermione returns to whatever she was doing, feeling oddly cold.
--
- Voldemort/Bellatrix - *
The only way to actually -raise- the squick level is to include Dobby in this somehow.
--
- Ron/Lucius - *
WHY??? WHY?!
--
- Ron/Harry - ***
This is such a weird pairing for me. I liked writing it a lot the one time, and I -really- liked the few R/H fics I've read, mostly 'cause of the awkward-boy-crush thing I have a softness for. Ron is the only boy Harry'd wank semi-casually with, and of course that means I love it. They could sleep over in each other's beds & Ron could ever-so-awkwardly try to comfort him and they're just so no-nonsense/no-bullshit together when (when!) Ron's not having his weird Harry issues 'cause he's insecure and such and Harry's not pushing Ron (and Hermione) away 'cause he needs to in order to feel in control or whatever. Man.
They've got so many issues to work through, really, that'd come out if they were seriously 'together', and yet they're just... y'know, really -friends- of the till-we-die variety, and omg, His Wheezy <33333333 They are completely at ease together and can probably have fun doing -anything-, even sorting candy wrappers 'cause their senses of humor seem to match and Harry feels normal around Ron where Ron feels worthy & special around Harry (I think!) Awww. Heheheh. I just love their friendship. And some mutual wanking could never hurt anyone!!
--
- Harry/Luna - **
Well, she'd listen to him and... stuff, though as far as common interests outside of shared trauma... I dunno. I think they'd make good friends, and Luna could see what's troubling Harry without being blinded in the same way his friends are.... And they'd have cute interactions 'cause Harry tolerates her (I guess) and Luna could intuitively "get" what he wants/needs. Not much spark/excitement though.
--
- Draco/Luna - *
This is one of those "WHY GOD WHY" things. I mean... er... well, she'd probably have more patience (read: disinterest) in Draco than most people, which might intrigue him, but... they are -so- mismatched it's not even -funny-.
--
- Draco/Dumbledore - **
AHAHAH I will always have a soft spot for this 'cause of Silvia's two (was it two??) Draco/Dumbledore pensieve fics <3333 HEEE.
--
- Ginny/Luna - ***
Er... well, they seem to be friends, and I do find Ginny's down-to-earth excitability an interesting contrast to Luna's distance and ethereal wonky goofiness. I think they'd make an interesting pair just 'cause of the juxtaposition, but in the end they're better off as friends 'cause I don't think they really fulfill each other, I guess. Pretty, though.
--
- Neville/Cho - *
They could sniffle into each other's arms and yet Neville would be her rock of strength and calm in the storm. Or something. Bleh.
--
- Draco/Zacharias - **
They could snark at each other and Zacharias' gentle (or not-so-gentle) skepticism might or might not get Draco to actually think about things. They could become friends, but always somewhat testy (Hufflepuffs! Whoever expected Hufflepuffs!! No one!! NO ONE EVER DOES)... though I'm not so sure about any deeper currents there, though this might just be 'cause we know virtually nothing of value about Zacharias' life, really.
~~
Didodikali's illustrated Dracofic, `Head Fight' just totally made my day, btw. All of her fanart is just too adorable for words, and omg, the Sirius/Remus, teeheeeeeee. And vandal!Snape <33333 Man, I love how fleshy & kinda homey everyone looks, especially Hermione. :D :D And oh man, this is the only Charlie I've ever liked :D And eheheheheheeeeeee the Sev/Lily of my dreeeeeams! <333333
Because I started and never know when to stop?
Because I am just that bored?
Because I'm just that compulsive?
Because I really have no shame or sense of proportion...???
Whatever it is, I'll just post it and go to sleep. Goodbye and good riddance to yet another brilliant, Reena-approved time-wasting strategy carefully designed so I wouldn't have to actually (gasp!) Do Work.
A Disclaimer: Just because I say so, doesn't mean I'm trying to convince anyone it's The Ultimate Truth Omg.
- Draco/Ginny - ***
I see this working, possibly, in an AU where there was no threat of Voldemort, and possibly no Harry to make Draco obsess over beating him and following him and such. If Draco were more laid back, he could get enamoured of Ginny in spite of himself, with her spitfire confidence and her Quidditch skills (they'd have at least that in common) and her way of getting under his skin (if they came in contact), since she doesn't hold back around him any more than Hermione does (in CoS), but Ginny is easier to provoke on a more personal level and in more ways (considering her Weasley temper). So at least emotionally, I could see her having more weaknesses than Hermione for Draco to exploit, emotionally, and she's non-sensible enough to fall for some of those common boys' tricks.
They're both rather physical people, and extroverted-- she could keep up with Draco & not wilt under the censure of Slytherin girls. She could definitely hold her own with Pansy, after living with her mum & all those brothers. She's also able to love Draco without reservation (which is the sort of love Draco probably wants) should he ever manage to er... stop being a complete and utter git.
--
- Draco/Hermione - **
Bleh. While there are "issues" to explore (considering she's a Muggle-born & he... er... is a prejudiced git), I don't see their personalities as at all suited, which is the most important thing for me. I mean, I've read a couple of D/Hr one-shots which I've found hot because Hermione was totally dominating/using Draco while having him wrapped around her little finger, but... any idea that Draco could stand up to her any better than Ron makes me laugh, really. I've tried writing this pairing, and basically, I cannot see what Hermione would want with him-- it's not as if she's only friends with brainy people (considering Ron & Harry), but there has to be some spark of attraction to some quality there, since they can't just... hang out and get used to each other, and he doesn't seem to need her help like Ron & Harry do.
I really don't see Draco as Hermione's "equal" in any way, which wouldn't be the problem if I saw them as complementary instead (which I can't, since she's unlikely to back down and neither is he, which doesn't sound promising). I don't think Draco could really exert his maleness over her, either-- but he resents her besting him (anyone besting him) too much, I imagine, to just... give in and roll over. On the other hand, I don't even know if they'd argue since Hermione doesn't get carried away like Harry and Ron do-- she'd just make her point and get on with more interesting things. I don't think she'd get obsessed like the boys could, and Draco can't touch her insecurities because-- well-- I can't imagine her thinking she'd need to prove herself to -him-.
While they could compete with each other, Draco would just -lose- in any intellectual contest just as Hermione would lose in any sports-related (Quidditch, say) contest, so it wouldn't be much of a competition. She could tutor him but what could he teach her...? Where's the balance?
I could see her taking Draco on as a new project-- deciding to liberate him from his delusional views, say. I could see Draco gradually growing to tolerate her, if not like her. I could see her learning to find him funny (sometimes-- since she doesn't find Ron all that funny, and he's not as mean-spirited, even). She could perhaps (with a lot of work) learn to control Draco's mood-swings and make him more... presentable I suppose. He could have some hidden talent for the Dark Arts she's interested in, and if you had Dark!Hermione, she could maybe use Draco. They could use each other for various purposes, but I see the intellectual/emotional gulf between them as much too wide. She might as well be 20 years older than he is, really.
--
- Draco/Pansy - **
They make a great pair-- partners in crime, all that. I mean, we don't know much about Pansy, but she's certainly close enough to a female version of Draco, it seems-- loud, mocking, popular among her little clique, stylish & emotional (what with the crying when Draco was slashed and such). She can handle his moods, is probably fiercely loyal, and they share a world-view from all appearances, which makes conversations rather easy. They've known each other since the beginning of school, and still hang around each other, which means they've probably gotten rather close. They're unlikely to have a great rift unless something goes wildly wrong and they change the allegiances-- but overall, it's never made sense to me that Draco just -didn't like- Pansy. They probably understand each other, at the very least, and why not fool around? They could trust the other not to be... 'weird' in the morning, right? Though really, I imagine Pansy is counting on Draco always being around (as the husband type) while Draco is so immature he's probably scared to death of the idea, no matter how much he thinks she's a good friend.
However, that doesn't seem like a great romance to me. Too predictable. Like shagging your sister, really.
--
- Dumbledore/McGonagall - *
Um. I suppose they make great partners-- McGonagall is strict and no-nonsense, while Dumbledore is a visionary who seems to act intuitively much of the time, though of course he must be capable of much rational thought. However... well, old people romance, man. It's just not my thing.
--
- Harry/Draco - *****
Man, it doesn't make sense but it works for me-- explosively. Draco is obsessed with Harry-- Draco wants to beat Harry-- Draco wants to mash Harry's face into the ground and hear him scream 'uncle'-- that much is obvious in canon. Draco will probably never get that chance, but maybe he deserves it. Maybe Harry needs to figure out that not all Slytherins are slime, and maybe Harry needs to stop judging people as unworthy human beings based on their petty stupid remarks towards him. Before OoTP, Harry's been pretty fixated on Draco, too-- what will Malfoy think? Will Malfoy laugh at his failure? Will Malfoy do something to make Harry look bad? Does Malfoy know more than Harry? Why does Malfoy get all special attention-- he's just a spoiled little brat (it's hilarious how Draco thinks the same of Harry, probably).
I don't think they're really equals, as is-- Malfoy's not as good as Harry in Quidditch or anything else, so any competition is really a moot point. Harry could (and has) wiped the ground with him-- the only question is, should he keep doing that, or does Draco deserve a chance to prove himself, too?
Their personalities are a bit like oil and water-- Draco kind of exemplifies everything Harry can't stand in a person-- he's selfish, spoiled, mean-spirited & bullying, petty, obsessed with material things and arrogant in the extreme. Harry, on the other hand, can also be rather arrogant and self-centered and heedlessly cruel (if only to Malfoy)-- so really it's a bit like pot/kettle in some ways. Their environments are completely opposite from each other, which creates this great gulf in understanding between them, which they actually seem to cling to and perpetuate way past reason-- but if understanding did occur, it'd be revolutionary and it couldn't help but change their lives around completely.
On the other hand, Malfoy's got the things Harry wants from the start-- acceptance in the wizarding world, a family which seems to dote upon him, ease and comfort with magic-use and Hogwarts. Just as Harry, by winning again and again, makes Draco feel bad, Draco had made -Harry- feel inadequate, something which Harry had to overcome through proving himself. In OoTP, of course Harry had bigger fish to fry than Draco, but Draco's still there-- vowing not to let him alone, vowing to dog his steps till the end and get his revenge.
Draco won't let go no matter what Harry does to him, and Harry really doesn't care, except he -does-, because Malfoy is such a convenient target and outlet for all his frustrations with his life and his place in the wizarding world. Malfoy has a father, but he's a bastard-- just like Harry... but Malfoy deserved it! Malfoy has a 'court' (fan-club) just like Harry-- but they're evil cackling hyenas! Malfoy is angry at unfair treatment, just like Harry-- but he's wrong and he's got it coming to him!!
Man, they're beautifully delusional together. Just imagine what would happen if they woke up to reality! Yeah, pretty much all bets are off.
It's drama! It's angst! It's obsession! Most of all it's boy-crushing (HE WANTS HIM! YOU SO KNOW HE SO TOTALLY DOES IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY EXCEPT IT SO IS), omg!! <3333333333
--
- Harry/Ginny - **
I can maybe see this not being a painfully bad idea with some changes to both of them-- basically, with time. I actually don't see this as a fluffy/happy/predictable pairing because the Ginny in my head, at least, is not really a bubble-headed sweet child and Harry's not the gracious romantic knight to sweep her off her feet. Harry's got all kinds of issues which cut him off from people, emotionally, so it makes sense that he doesn't return Ginny's interest-- but that's what's intriguing. It's possible for her, having gotten over her crush but retaining that soft spot for Harry, to... care enough to fight past his barriers (since she's got the Weasley temper & the audacity) while not being so indulgent and just plain used to his behavior to just accept him. Harry would really resent that, of course, but Ginny wouldn't wilt in his arms like Cho would, and she isn't afraid of the dark, either-- she could hold her own physically at the same things Harry's good at (flying & Defense Against the Dark Arts) and she's had at least some experience with what Harry's had to deal with so she -knows- at least partly where he's coming from. Or she could figure it out.
So there's definitely potential. As for whether any particular fanfic explores it in an interesting way-- I doubt it. And the jury is out on whether JKR's Harry/Ginny will make me ill or not, also.
--
- Harry/Hermione - *
Ugh.
I actually really liked the idea after watching the first HP movie (ahahah), but the more I got to know them, the less I like the idea. They're good partners and work great together (like Draco & Pansy), but they simply work -too- well together, I think. There's no real emotional conflict between them, since Harry listens to Hermione more than anyone else, and Hermione seems to feel like she's there to dispense sage advice to Harry like some wise older sister or something. They respect and need each other, and of course there's affection there too, but they aren't really on the same page as far as just hanging out and having fun-- 'cause Hermione has got this need to nag ("Harry do this", "Harry do that") which means Harry would probably either tend to bring Ron along to take the brunt of Hermione's negative attention or escape -with- Ron. She's very project oriented, and while she's great in a crisis, she doesn't actually share casual interests with Harry.
As far as personality matching-- they get along well, but what's really there to kick them to the next level? They're comfortable together and Hermione naturally assumes control when she's comfortable-- and unlike Ron, Harry likely lets her unless he feels really strongly, and in that case he'll just run off on his own and not listen at all (unless she wanted to follow -him-). I can't really see them disagreeing seriously, because both of them would need 100% control if they really cared and disagreed on the direction. It just... it's a very solid friendship.
--
- Harry/Lucius - *
I can see this as abusive and destructive and wrong, and while that might appeal to somebody, that somebody isn't me. Harry -hates- Lucius and thinks he's absolute evil, disgusting and stupidly ostentatious (which he is)-- and Lucius just wants to either use or destroy Harry for his Master. Harry is probably still -stronger- than Lucius, magic-wise, and is likely to be even more sadistic/crazed if Lucius ever did manage to get one up on Harry. People think Lucius is meaner/scarier, but I don't think that's true-- I think Harry is. Harry can so make Lucius his bitch, except that'd make Harry -like- him, which he'd never allow himself to be. All that's there in this pairing is non-con, and that just... doesn't do it for me.
--
- Harry/Neville - **
I don't hate it or anything, but I don't see why it's the Greatest Thing Evar, post-OoTP. Neville has an interesting connection to Harry (both being pre-destined to... something or other, and both losing parents), and a stubborn streak which would allow him to stand up to Harry-- but I really don't see the spark in all this. They have to work together, and challenging each other or flirting or being randy seems like something that'd get in the way of their mutual focus on what -has- to be done. Neville's unlikely to loosen Harry up or vice versa, especially after the war really gets going. While they might have interesting conversations and an emotional connection, Neville's really rather passive unless he's pushed, which just serves Harry's own apathy. What would ever happen?
Besides, the woobie thing kinda annoys me. Woobies? What are they, four? Are they cute when they destroy Voldemort together, too?
--
- Harry/Tom - ***
Heheheh if only someone wrote this the way I'd want them to. It has potential, since Tom would so exarcerbate Harry's dark tendencies and they are alike in many ways but there's -friction- because Harry doesn't -want- to be like that, so he'd be falling, falling, falling. Tom would feed on his fear and Harry's character would get a nice little test, now wouldn't it. Tom is quite obviously Harry's Jungian Shadow (in a different way than Draco), and it's just delicious, imagining what they could get up to together and how they could destroy and remake each other in whoever's image.
On the other hand, Tom's kinda... noncorporeal. Puts a damper on things, doesn't it.
--
- Hermione/Ginny - **
I want to like this, but can't find a foothold as to what their dynamic would center around. I like Ginny femslash, and yet I don't see the center of why she'd be attracted to Hermione-- their personalities are so different and yet not different in obviously complementary ways, I guess. I think they'd talk because basically they're the only girls of their mutual close acquaintance and of course because Hermione's friends with Ron, she'd spend a lot of time with the Weasleys. I like the idea of Ginny making Hermione loosen up and just chat & talk about all manner of things (without Hermione feeling the need to 'mother' or nag or take care of Ginny)-- but they both need a friend like that. While they might fool around (showing each other 'the ropes', especially with Hermione's desire to know all about something before she does it), I can't see it getting serious.
--
- Hermione/McGonnagal - *
Seriously, man, that just creeps me out. Your stuffy, uptight older-butch Professor starts giving you -those- looks. Hermione would freak completely. I mean... that's a huge betrayal of trust and a certain implicit kinship. Plus, they're too alike.
--
- Hermione/Pansy - *
It's got a lot of the same problems that Draco/Hermione has, but is slightly more interesting because the girl/girl dynamic would throw Hermione off more, plus Pansy's got the potential to hit Hermione's insecurities 'cause she's a 'pretty popular girl' and Hermione hates her on a much more personal level ("she's such a COW"). I doubt that Pansy's got the same need to prove herself against Hermione that Draco does, or the desperate hatred of Mudbloods that covers up her inadequacies (at least in my head), so it's more of an even playing field. They're both calculating stubborn bitches in their different ways.
The problem, really, is that girls fight dirty (that is, any rivalry would be much more messy and subtle) and Hermione really wouldn't sink that low because she's got little to gain from winning over Pansy. It just doesn't click for me on a personality level, 'cause I don't see the attraction even though I do see the potential conflict.
--
- Lavender/Parvati - *
Best friends giggling together and trying on skirts and lipstick.... Next!
Well, except if they're naked and have nice breasts, but that's more of a visual thing.
--
- Lily/Narcissa - **
They're really pretty together and there's that stereotypical icy/fiery thing that I'm a slave to (Lily snarks and hisses, tossing back her hair in that arrogant Gryffindor way-- Narcissa watches, her nose turned up, softly murmuring mean little barbs that drive Lily mad). Girl-fighting, except on a classier, more epic level-- 'cause I just think Lily & Narcissa are more concentrated (intense?) distillations of Gryffindor/Slytherin (than Hermione or Pansy), and man, do I ship those two houses.
It's like Ron/Draco without the guilt, sort of, and with breasts. It could be pretty, except it's kinda depressing unless you write complete AU, since we all know what happened (death and marriage to Lucius-- which is worse??)
--
- Lily/James - ***
Heeeee! I don't care how cliche it is, I love it love it love it! He's a hopeless smirking bastard who (thinks he can) have anyone, and she's there to tear him down and show him the boot! He's just like all the guys, insensitive and callous and without any common human decency! The berk! Who does he think he is??! Ingrate! She'll show him! Someone needs to show him, those dreadful friends of his (even that nice Remus) are no better than he is, and allow him free run of the place!
He crushes over her, she doesn't care; she's too good for the likes of him! He's a popular jock and she's beautiful but 'down to earth', and she holds the moral superiority card over him, which drives him -mad- 'cause he's so sure he's right all the time! And yet he wants to change for her, 'cause she's so beautiful, she has to be his!! "Never!" she cries. "You'll be mine yet, beautiful!" he cries back, and she hates his swagger and wants to kick him in the shin, but some part of her just melts 'cause he looks at her like that (and she can't stand it! She can't! It's awful! He's awful!!)
Eventually, they both soften and she changes him while she becomes as enamoured with him as she'd sworn she'd never be! She probably still teases him (and likely still dislikes Sirius, who refuses to change-- mongrel!), but he's used to the teasing and wouldn't have it any other way!
It's every teenage romance I don't want to admit I watched/read/squeed over! HEEEE.
--
- Lucius/Narcissa - *
Man. I wrote this pairing... and I think it has potential in that people-I-don't-like-and-their-issues sort of way, but man, I would care except... I don't like them. Lucius is a prick as far as I'm concerned, and Narcissa probably is actually worse than he is (man, though I'm interested in her relationship with Sirius). I think they used to be passionate, early on (judging from Draco & Sirius & Sirius' mum), but considering who they became, it seems like marriage sucked all the soul from them both (if following Voldemort didn't do it).
I'm vaguely curious as to how they really were in Hogwarts (if the romance started there), but I fear it'd be much too predictable (shipping people who're married doesn't work for me unless I -really- like them). Somehow I doubt Lucius was ever free-spirited or sincere enough to pursue Narcissa because he -wanted- to (rather than thinking she was a good match). If they -were- in love, it's so depressing thinking of what it all came down to. Bleh. Plus they're both dreadfully snotty/pathetic/cringe-inducing for me. Not even mean in a cool-ass extravangant camp way but in that creeping, all too common fakely sophisticated wanker way. God, I can't stand either of them.
--
- McGonagall/Trelawney - **
Actually, this might be interesting, if only the idea of them naked didn't make me want to run screaming.
--
- Remus/Tonks - *
All right, I'll admit it, I have a grudge against this pairing, if only because I want Remus to be Sirius' forever and ever amen, or at least gay... or at least hope he's not interested in a girl 20 years younger than he is, with virtually no common interests between them, who's related to his dead friend. I think they'd make interesting friends-- and Remus -does- need someone to talk to-- but I don't see what the attraction is... I mean, she's clumsy and cheerful and a bit on the wild side, he's... complex and reticent and tired and bookish. If she were younger, it'd be a quirky geek-meets-grrl pairing, but as it is, it's just... oddly not fitting.
Besides, I like to think Tonks is gay. But even so, this is nowhere near as squicky as Harry/Tonks (which just sounds like someone's masturbatory dream of getting 'that hot girl with the pink hair'), so maybe it gets points for that.
--
- Riddle/Lucius - *
Makes absolutely zero sense to me, unless you like reading about minions sucking their master's cock. Which I don't. At all. More boring than squicky.
--
- Riddle/McGonagall - **
Actually, I like this idea. It's probably my second favorite theoretical Riddle pairing after Tom/Hagrid because of the juxtaposition involved-- McGonagall is Ordered Good while Tom is Chaotic Evil... it's certainly intellectually stimulating to think about, and I think she wouldn't back down from Riddle any more than Dumbledore would, which would intrigue Tom. It would allow one to explore Tom's character while in Hogwarts and so on. It's kind of like Draco/Hermione except brought to an uber-level of absolutes-- kinda like high-powered poker or something. They're both very strong personalities, and if they ever butted heads (I mean personally, not magically), it couldn't help but be... interesting.
She'd never sleep with him, though.
--
- Ron/Draco - *
I do find it interesting-- that is, the boy-fighting and Weasley vs. Malfoy rivalry and Ron's explosive temper and cute barbs (and probably fists) going against -Draco's- temper and whatever low-blow jokes he can muster-- but duuude. Angry wanks just aren't enough, and I don't see where it could -go-, really, since they really do resent each other too much to relent past the illicit groping stage (I think). They both hold on to grudges, so who's going to 'give' first? I think both of them find it too much fun to let out their frustrations by honestly despising each other with no great hidden Meaning or Untold Yearning For Love. They're both prejudiced against each other and they like it that way. However, the wanking could get hot.
Mostly, I just have issues 'cause I ship them both elsewhere, and the pairing kinda contradicts H/D in a blatant way-- that is, I can't imagine H/D and R/D in the same breath, so to speak. But even so, they just annoy me-- all wank and anger and conflict with no resolution but orgasms. It's just... dull, actually, 'cause even though they're both cute in their own ways, I don't think they're that cute/snarky together. They wouldn't control themselves enough for the snark to really flow, I guess. In my mind. But really, the obvious... er... OTP issue says it all for me.
--
- Ron/Hermione - ****
Heheheh!! Man, I've heard of a lot of 'meh, they're annoying' after OoTP, but they shall never be annoying to me. The bookish bossy practical girl and the hot-tempered (yet insecure & awkward!) mischievous kid... man, it's just too cute. It's not that I even care about whether they have a 'future' together, I just like how they get on each other's nerves (ahahah "she's a nightmare, honestly") and how Ron can't resist teasing her even though she's "scary" (heeeee) but she's all straight-laced, and how she tolerates him anyway and tries to make him 'improve', but of course he wouldn't, hehehe.
And really, Hermione's not -that- straight-laced anymore, and partly I think it's Ron's bad, bad influence (teheeeee). People say that Hermione doesn't appreciate Ron enough, but of course she wouldn't-- that would be part of the final climb to er, The Date or right after. Besides, it's only the end of 5th year yet, there's plenty of time. I just love how they work well together as a team and are friends, but are still so nasty to each other, still unable to really handle each other (it's so cute!! "Honestly, Ron...")
And you -know- if she let up even a little, he'd just totally be putty in her hands, and as soon as Hermione realizes that.... ahahahahahah. Man, it makes me laugh and laugh. Omg, the misbegotten perfume purchases! The jealousy! The endless circling! The pretending like he doesn't care! The inability to resist baiting her and ruining his chances (heeeee)! The battle of the sexes!! *deranged cackling ensues* I don't think they'd ever really 'get along' completely, fully appreciating each other without constant misunderstandings and little spats, but omg I love that, because I just -know- that Ron would never ever leave her and he really does respect her and he's so totally grown on Hermione like a semi-pleasant fungus, who could also play chess and make jokes she almost sekritly, in her heart of hearts, someday finds funny!!1 heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I FEEL A R/HR FIC COMING ON.
--
- Sirius/Remus - *****
Man, how could I not love it? I'm all about personality contrasts and juxtapositions, and when there are similarities except differently expressed (anger expressed vs. anger repressed), I just get... really happy! In my head, it's just completely complementary, and without the rough edges of miscommunication that Ron & Hermione (...or Harry & Draco) have-- while still having plenty of issues, mostly because Sirius keeps doing stupid things and messing everything up and violating the trust between them, and Remus does seem to forgive, but somehow I doubt he forgets. So there are all these undercurrents of misalignment, but they're not on the forefront of their interaction-- that is, they don't bicker. It's more subtle and deadly than that, running along the seams of their friendship, which makes it fascinating to me. They are so loyal to each other (after Sirius returns, all it takes is basically a look from him, doesn't it), and so mistrustful....
What I really love is the basic Marauder-era dynamic, though-- the wicked heedless arrogant boy and his subdued reasonable friend with the deep dark currents through him to match and outmatch anything Sirius was or could be. Not so hidden dark currents, too. And god, I love it that they became Animagi for Remus, and somehow it's just so obvious to me that wasn't James' idea, and omg Sirius is a dog(!) to Remus' wolf(!) and... god, it just makes me so happy! I'm not reasonable at all, obviously, I just completely adore them.
I can just see smirking Sirius, with the unbuttoned collar and the rougish glint in his eyes sitting next to a shabby-looking kid with messy hair and a soft-looking sweater, his fringe falling into his eyes and a soft, secret half-smile on his lips whenever he looked over at Sirius. <3333333333333 SO MUCH LOVE.
--
- Snape/Draco - *
God. I don't mind student/teacher, but this is the one pairing that makes me think "child abuse!!" That is -so- taking advantage of authority-- since Draco looks up to him, he'd probably even -want- it, or might have a crush or whatever, but it's all so... decimation of innocence & trust that I just can't stand it. And also it has zero real romantic potential (which bothers me in any pairing because I'm a wuss like that).
So while Snape's Draco's potential mentor and guide (that is, they have things to offer each other-- since Draco would listen to Snape and take him seriously, and Snape does so want that)... if you make them lovers, it all goes haywire. Draco needs some sort of healthy role-model other than Lucius, someone who's not -too- involved with him.
It's also so very squicky to me 'cause of the sheer physical 'bleh' of Snape, that greasy-haired snarling git, falling upon this delicate pink-cheeked skinny boy. Man, the mental images. GET THEM AWAY!!
--
- Snape/Hagrid - *
All right, I suppose they're both victims... or something. But I really can't see what would the actual motivations be besides "you listen to my ANGEST AND PANE", and "god, I'm so pathetic I'd even be willing to wank Hagrid".
--
- Snape/Harry - ***
There are possibilities there-- for snark (very important!!), for Snape to wake up and smell the coffee (also important!), for Harry to come to terms with Slytherins and his OMG EV01 POTIONS PROFESSOR!!1 (natch).... There's all that pent up rage and resentment and their need to work together and their potential to understand each other. Snape isn't what I'd call the sex god of my dreams (although actually he might be if he washed his hair and went out more), and Harry is rather unlikely to swoon with lust anytime soon, but I love the intensity of the dynamic, and there's definitely quite a bit of complexity there.
Seeing it as romantic or 'meant to be' hurts my head, though, so I'm left with rough sex with ugly oily gits and painful confrontations where I get to watch Snapey crack. Not always as bad as it sounds.
--
- Snape/Hermione - ***
I actually sekritly like this pairing, ahahahah. And Snape/Lily. I HAVE NO SHAME.
I dunno, it's kinda creepy if it's in Hogwarts (somehow I just assume Harry can take care of himself if it really came to that, but with Hermione it's less of an even match even though she's probably as good a witch as Snape is a wizard if not better). I don't think they're actually that good of a match personality-wise, necessarily (I like to think Snape needs someone more fiery where he is bile and dark water)-- but I could be convinced. I mean, there's the intellectual connection, the obsessive-compulsive thing, and they're certainly both head-strong so there should be sparks. Sexy it's not, though. Plus it's weird to imagine who'd be the 'man' in the relationship, so to speak o_0
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- Snape/Lucius - *
GOD I BLOODY HATE THIS PAIRING. I think it's 'cause there's this fanon thing where Snape supposedly had some sort of 'thing' with Lucius and still either respects or acts like he defers to him, which drives me up the wall. It's the slick-oily Slytherins-stick-together thing that makes me batty, too. Of course Lucius dominated him and humiliated him and yet Snape pined after him anyway. It's just... I have no words. So he took it from Lucius but hated it in James & Sirius? That's just way too disgusting (if possibly even believable) for me. HATE HATE HATE.
--
- Snape/Lupin - **
I always thought I -could- be interested (juxtaposing personalities again), but never quite found a 'hook'. Snape is not quite the right balance to Lupin, 'cause they both hide things and are also intense-- who'd crack first? I suppose Snape has less blatant anger towards Lupin when compared to Sirius, but Lupin baits him too, in his passive-agressive little way. It'd be an odd relationship for sure. It bothers me how people whitewash Lupin (making him Snape's 'savior' or the nice boy who likes the greasy git) in what little impression of that pairing I've had.
--
- Snape/Sirius - ***
Like Ron/Draco, in that it's good for a nice wank between enemies, but what else is there, really? They do have more deep-seated issues, considering that Snape had a whole history of being bullied by Sirius and then there's Sirius trying to have him maimed or killed with the Shack incident, so.... There's certainly plenty to draw upon. However, that's some deeply rooted hatred, right there. I can't imagine anything that'd make them trust each other for a second-- since clearly Snape changing sides didn't help a thing.
There's some hot wanking action, though, which is... something. And the snark has to be delicious-- so it's definitely gets an extra star just for the possibility for snark, because I really am that easy.
--
- Snape/Luna - *
ARE YOU COMPLETELY INSANE??!??!??!
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- Remus/Hermione - *
Sort of like Snape/Hermione, except more-- much more
And then they both sigh, and Hermione returns to whatever she was doing, feeling oddly cold.
--
- Voldemort/Bellatrix - *
The only way to actually -raise- the squick level is to include Dobby in this somehow.
--
- Ron/Lucius - *
WHY??? WHY?!
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- Ron/Harry - ***
This is such a weird pairing for me. I liked writing it a lot the one time, and I -really- liked the few R/H fics I've read, mostly 'cause of the awkward-boy-crush thing I have a softness for. Ron is the only boy Harry'd wank semi-casually with, and of course that means I love it. They could sleep over in each other's beds & Ron could ever-so-awkwardly try to comfort him and they're just so no-nonsense/no-bullshit together when (when!) Ron's not having his weird Harry issues 'cause he's insecure and such and Harry's not pushing Ron (and Hermione) away 'cause he needs to in order to feel in control or whatever. Man.
They've got so many issues to work through, really, that'd come out if they were seriously 'together', and yet they're just... y'know, really -friends- of the till-we-die variety, and omg, His Wheezy <33333333 They are completely at ease together and can probably have fun doing -anything-, even sorting candy wrappers 'cause their senses of humor seem to match and Harry feels normal around Ron where Ron feels worthy & special around Harry (I think!) Awww. Heheheh. I just love their friendship. And some mutual wanking could never hurt anyone!!
--
- Harry/Luna - **
Well, she'd listen to him and... stuff, though as far as common interests outside of shared trauma... I dunno. I think they'd make good friends, and Luna could see what's troubling Harry without being blinded in the same way his friends are.... And they'd have cute interactions 'cause Harry tolerates her (I guess) and Luna could intuitively "get" what he wants/needs. Not much spark/excitement though.
--
- Draco/Luna - *
This is one of those "WHY GOD WHY" things. I mean... er... well, she'd probably have more patience (read: disinterest) in Draco than most people, which might intrigue him, but... they are -so- mismatched it's not even -funny-.
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- Draco/Dumbledore - **
AHAHAH I will always have a soft spot for this 'cause of Silvia's two (was it two??) Draco/Dumbledore pensieve fics <3333 HEEE.
--
- Ginny/Luna - ***
Er... well, they seem to be friends, and I do find Ginny's down-to-earth excitability an interesting contrast to Luna's distance and ethereal wonky goofiness. I think they'd make an interesting pair just 'cause of the juxtaposition, but in the end they're better off as friends 'cause I don't think they really fulfill each other, I guess. Pretty, though.
--
- Neville/Cho - *
They could sniffle into each other's arms and yet Neville would be her rock of strength and calm in the storm. Or something. Bleh.
--
- Draco/Zacharias - **
They could snark at each other and Zacharias' gentle (or not-so-gentle) skepticism might or might not get Draco to actually think about things. They could become friends, but always somewhat testy (Hufflepuffs! Whoever expected Hufflepuffs!! No one!! NO ONE EVER DOES)... though I'm not so sure about any deeper currents there, though this might just be 'cause we know virtually nothing of value about Zacharias' life, really.
~~
Didodikali's illustrated Dracofic, `Head Fight' just totally made my day, btw. All of her fanart is just too adorable for words, and omg, the Sirius/Remus, teeheeeeeee. And vandal!Snape <33333 Man, I love how fleshy & kinda homey everyone looks, especially Hermione. :D :D And oh man, this is the only Charlie I've ever liked :D And eheheheheheeeeeee the Sev/Lily of my dreeeeeams! <333333
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2004-10-27 12:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-27 02:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-27 04:22 am (UTC)Which is not on. Not on at all.
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Date: 2004-10-27 01:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-27 05:13 am (UTC)But really. ♥!
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Date: 2004-10-27 01:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-27 05:32 am (UTC)and man, do I ship those two houses
Hee. You seem to like the pairings that are more extreme versions of something...the Riddle/McG is the other example.
unless you like reading about minions sucking their master's cock.
Bwaaahaha.
It's probably my second favorite theoretical Riddle pairing after Tom/Hagrid
Never any love for the Tom/Hagrid! Wah. T_T
And even though I've read your thoughts on teh OTP many times, I still like your summary of it here. Ah, the beautiful delusion. H/D shippers are HARDCORE. :D
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Date: 2004-10-27 03:05 pm (UTC)I totally go for the (emotional) extreme, otherwise it's just too... vanilla...? Boring? Not enough adrenaline!! :D Though really, I just like... intensity & contrast... and probably melodrama :>
I have mucho love for Tom/Hagrid! But it wasn't on the quiz thingie! And I was so tired after all the stuff that -was- there! I love them muchly, yes, so that's why I mentioned them :D
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Date: 2004-10-27 06:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-27 02:58 pm (UTC)Should I bribe you by writing you a Lucius drabble or something.... Oh wait, you wanted that gen Malfoys thing. I've been feeling the urge to actually do those drabbles lately ;)))!
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Date: 2004-10-27 07:09 am (UTC)I'm so with you about Harry/Neville. I never understood the appeal of the "woobie", it's just too cuddly. And Harry's got issues; he's angry. He's not exactly cuddly.
Re: H/D Man, they're beautifully delusional together. Just imagine what would happen if they woke up to reality! Yeah, pretty much all bets are off.
Yeah, that would be something.
I'm seriously shipping Ron/Draco these days, but I prefer reading them as adults where their strong personalities get tempered a little by age. In my head they both have unresolved Harry issues from their past that they are hiding deep inside and from each other. Disastrous love affair, unrequited love, you get the picture.
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Date: 2004-10-27 03:02 pm (UTC)Man, I can never ship anyone 'but only as adults' 'cause my imagination just doesn't stretch that far. ^^;;
Also, I always feel kinda bad with love triangles-- like, R/H where Hermione's dead, say... feels just... sad.
I kinda like -some- people's R/H/D triangle stuff... er... ERIN (and the Pop Goes the Weasel trilogy) COMES TO MIND :> :>
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Date: 2004-10-27 07:23 am (UTC)Damn, that's hot.
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Date: 2004-10-27 03:00 pm (UTC)I suppose it gets points merely for being filthy-wrong, and also 'cause you draw them all snarly-cute, teeheeeeee. POOR DRACO, HERE, HARRY CAN SAVE YOU FROM SNAPE'S EV01 CLUTCHES, OMG!!1
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Date: 2004-10-27 01:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-27 02:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-27 02:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-27 02:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-27 02:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-27 02:51 pm (UTC)