Jan. 7th, 2007

reenka: (damned if i do)
It's odd... and I wonder if other people who've written slash for awhile feel like this: reading this op-ed piece on Johnny Weir (the figure skater) in Washington Post, it just struck me that I'd really like to explore this whole... what it really means to be 'queer in the real world' thing. In my writing, I mean. I dunno. It's like... there should be more space between all-out 'queer lit' (not interested) and something beyond romance-fantasy (getting tired). I don't want to write some cliche coming out story or write about 'typical' gay men (or any typical anyone), but. Especially this quote struck me in particular:
    One of the privileges of modern celebrityhood is a comfort zone between fabulousness and outness, and it is here that athletes, pop stars and actors who seem as if they might be the slightest bit gay go to live.
    The safest refuge is to equate being gay with a set of sex acts only and not address it as part of an identity.


...hmm-hmm, etc. )
~~

Man. Sometimes I'm just. I mean, I don't think I'm a productive member of fandom (...though what is that? eh) but wandering out a little even onto the general interwebs just makes me want to huddle back to lj, having seen the error of my ways. -.- Maybe it's just that I'll always be a fangirl even when I'm not in a fandom or communing with the hive fangirl mind... but the point is, I feel so much more kinship so much more often just in terms of how we talk and view the world & what we think is important (ie, boyz, books, & of course Teh Buttsex... oh wait. well, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN). It's cold & alien out there, man. Cold. And. ALIEN :(

In retrospect, those guys on the craigslist 'platonic' section are kinda hilarious, in a sad, sad, pathetic loser sort of way. If I wasn't in fandom, though, I wouldn't know just how pathetic the average 'intelligent' guy's ideas of women really are, y'know? Like, uh, the truth is that most girls aren't... uh, all that geeky or if they are, not all that free with their sexuality, yes, but to go from that to 'omg, all you womens are so unintelligent and frigid, I may as well just be friends!!1' is just. Haha, yeah. -.- It's sort of funny to think that I spend a lot of time reading/writing about men and really, most of the time I'm glad there are so few in fandom ^^;; Mostly because explaining things I consider obvious to anyone with a minimum of emotional intelligence just feels pointless and draining? I dunno. It feels like babysitting. :/ Though obviously there are emotionally intelligent men... somewhere that isn't on the internet, usually :>
    I know, I know. -.-;; I say that, but what is (the near constant) wank if not an expression of utter lack of emotional intelligence? Blech.

...I just feel weirdly nostalgic and maudlin again, don't mind me. Reading [livejournal.com profile] thechiapet's old post on her H/D fic characterization pet-peeves and the fic kinks one reminded me of my '02 self and I was like 'awww'. I'm still like that at heart... which is probably why sane people avoid me, I guess, but anyway.... :>

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