why? why ask why?

...Unforeseen consequence of reading both too much lj & too many fanfics: starting to read a fanfic in the first person, I have a hard time letting go of the nagging impression that this is an lj entry & I'm reading my flist [with the automatic glazing-over that accompanies that].
    Problem especially compounded by the first sentence being, "God, I'm tired. Beyond tired, actually. I'm heading straight for fall-in-your-dinner-plate tired." Ahaha, oh man. Yes, I'm trying to read Sentinel fic. \o/

In other news, I'm almost willing to join/read in -any- old fandom if I was told they have lots of fanfic!meta. I think it's sort of like... I like to discuss stories a lot, but in a certain way. What way is that? Well!

It's not going over the facts or analyzing 'why did character X do this?' in a detective-story sort of way.
    ( oooh, suspense! )

~~

Also, found a link to statistics saying that something like 1/100 people will generally create/upload content & 10/100 would interact online at all. So like, being a lurker = perfectly & even overwhelmingly normal; standard, even. What it makes me wonder is still why; I suspect it's related to why people don't vote, but I dunno :P I -do- know that I was a creator & interacted online as soon as I -got- online in 1996. I made my first website several months after figuring out what this 'web' thing is, and I only continued expanding and diversifying my acquaintance with the various forms of online activity since then. That was way before fandom, lj, knowing anyone online, knowing more than 10 websites [half of them search engines] or anything of the sort. As soon as I -found- a free website provider I liked [not geocities!!], off I went-- and I immediately tried to improve, too-- learn html, fiddle with graphics, upload my poems, create content. It's just natural; I'm not interacting because I am or am not a fan. It's just... impossible for me to be online & like... do nothing for very long (unless I'm on a fic-reading binge where I literally read fic 24/7). o_0

    It's probably different for people online specifically; I mean, I know -I- act differently online insofar as I talk more, interact more. The distance here helps me participate whereas in 'real life' I'm a lot more quiet and non-interactive. Maybe it has something to do with most people being extraverts or something, and getting their push to say anything by their being 'real' other people to say it to [which is probably why people are all over instant messaging and MySpace moreso than more solitary 'volunteer' type pursuits like uploading/posting things or whatever]. Maybe that's why all those teenies do post but beg for feedback and comments, as if they really feel useless/unheard if they're not directly and constantly encouraged & engaged with.

I mean, in 'real life', it sort of amuses me to think that those same people currently lurking on this very lj are more likely to strike up a conversation with me if I was a stranger than I am with them. I like... NEVER talk to strangers unless I need directions [and I very rarely ask for directions]. I never ask for the time; I never ask for a seat; I never say anything unless I'm absolutely forced to, unless we're talking 'in class', another place where most people are silent (and often inattentive) listeners. It's weird, isn't it? Where most people would talk [like, also in private conversations], I tend to default to listening and vice versa. Maybe it really is me -liking- the sort of 'quiet space' illusion of posting anything online [still 'into the ether' on this lj 'cause I get so few comments]. It makes me relax and be my most authentic babbly self [because in my head, I definitely talk to myself all the time], whereas maybe for all these lurkers, 'quiet space' implies being quiet in some subliminal way. Or something. Or maybe they see all the [minority of] people talking and it makes them feel intimidated by the noise. o_0

Huh.