~~ moth to flame & the element of despair.

Man, I love quotes. I forget how much.

For instance:
    We are never deceived. We deceive ourselves.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Yes, that's right. Whatever it is? It's your own fault. I love how unforgiving of the self that quote is. Basically, it's one of the hard truths of life that we bring most calamities upon ourselves... that we're our own worst enemy. If only more people realized this, there'd be less wars and stuff, wouldn't there? Ha, how naive of me. Or maybe people would just get angry and lash out anyway. It's not like reason is ever going to be popular. In fact, a random quote I really liked today was "logic sucks. I hate logic." I love honest people (and I love liars) <3 There's a certain charm to doing either one well, isn't there?

So I was thinking about how a sort of mad faith in love is often a prerequisite to a feeling of OTPness in fandom... how one believes a couple 'should' be together, against all odds and because they're 'so right' and 'obvious' and so on. And I can't help but question these things-- the ideas of 'rightness' and inevitability in general just seem fishy to me. Or perhaps what I really mean is, they seem too easy.

Imagine this: "Why do I love you? Because I have to love you. Because if I don't love you, I'd die."

Does that sound romantic or just messed up? I don't know if I think it's romantic, anyway. Who wants one's free will taken away, even by love? So... so perhaps it's the inherent possibility of failure in love that makes it interesting-- that makes it worth chasing, worth believing in. Maybe. And if that's true, then all those H/D fics I'd disliked because they didn't have that sense of 'faith' in the pairing-- maybe they were doing something quite necessary. That question of 'why not'-- shouldn't it be just as important as 'why', in the first place?

Basically, can you -have- an OTP if you think (or maybe, don't -want- to think, at least sometimes) the two people are not really bound to live happily ever after?

( In case one wonders what I do instead of actually writing fic.... )

~~

In other news entirely, I really love Kazuma Kodaka. And shounen ai about ninjas, apparently, hehe. Especially when it's pretty much on crack (like the rest of her work) & has some insane monks in it. And also hot springs. You know how it is. 'Must defend my hot spring!' the ninja says. (I swoon.) ...The odd thing is, I feel in love with her work while reading her Prince of Tennis doujinshi. Obviously you never know when I start reading for a fandom I know nothing about and suddenly have that tingly ping! lightbulb! sensation, heheh. Really, it's a lot more fun to discover canon through fanon-- no mess, no stress! It's great <3
    The sad truth of the matter is, now I want to marry Fuji ><

    Also, it's really sad when cute mangakas have only one piddly short story translated :(( Wah :(( And it had an oblivious seme, too <3<3 Aww <3 My need to compulsively read everything by any author I like is kinda scary though, on second thought.