[too busy writing your tragedy]

Whenever I feel angsty, I think about H/D. It's like... I could always make cute pointless posts, but somehow I'd rather read manga instead. But when it comes to pointless philosophizing on the nature of nothing & make-believe sex, I'm never quite too exhausted. Man. I should start actually watching TV so I can write fic about it or something but dude, it's TV. I'd have to leave the computer. It's... in the other room. You know how it is. No, actually TV makes me feel a little too brain-dead, like... cracked-out but not enough.

I was actually messing about trying to write a post about how flexible I think things could theoretically be with this uke/seme and/or top/bottom business, but then I realized I don't care, because if it was relevant, then I wouldn't be interested anymore. Like, if you can fit someone in a box, they're not the sort of character I want to think too much about (unless it's a very pretty box that has sweets in it... of the Reena's Stereotypical Sex Object variety). I think for me it's like... I don't like for anything to be absolutely guarranteed, totally certain. Any dynamic that doesn't change seems stagnant to me as a reader, anyway... but that's a personal preference thing.

I'm currently in love with this manga called 'I Won't Be Your Stepping Stone', and dude. Dude. Uncertainty, obsession, aggression, frustration, rejection, possession, molestation, crazed need and utter bastards-- all the good stuff, none of the fat! It's the story I always go for: sex-obsessed (read: desperate yet repressed) overthinking (yet really stupid) arrogant (read: insecure) bastard meets match in fiesty, impulsive free-spirited type who can give as good as he gets. Ahhh, sweet obsession. The scary thing is, this reminds me of some fanon!H/D I've read. o_0 That's sort of... disturbing now.

I think I've largely been in fandom to read fanfic, yeah, but it's not because I like the characters. I mean, I may or may not like certain characters on a personal level, but this doesn't quite have to do with whether I compulsively seek out fic about them. To be more precise, I need to deeply obsessed with the theme I feel like a certain character represents in order to be constantly driven to read (but especially write) about it. I mean, there are definite patterns in the types of characters I feel most drawn to, but it's not that I admire them at all-- like, I definitely have never admired Draco, and Draco's been pretty much the reason I got into fandom and kept reading fic.

( Blah. Why oh why am I still talking about this? )

~~

Also: I've found Lililicious, which is a manga scanlation group only for femslash! Yeay!
    Random: I've just watched the first 30 seconds of the opening to Bleach, and the main character's this grumpy spiky-redhead dude that reminds me of Kyou, and I think I'm already in love... or lust... or something <3