~~ martyr!Remus, grr, argh.

I've only been reading S/R fic intensely for less than a week, and I already have a #1 pet peeve, ahahah. It's not at the must-strangle-someone stage yet by far, but it's... present.

What weirds me out is that there's this trend where fics keep making it that Remus is with Sirius as some sort of favor, because really, Remus knows better and Sirius is such a bastard (...and someone has to mention that at least once-- often Sirius himself). It's like, I wonder why Remus is friends with Sirius, if he really judges him so harshly-- or it really such a huge jump to respect someone enough to be their lover rather than their friend...?

It's like, even when I love a fic, I realize that the Remus cannot realistically be that above it all. Sometimes it's even felt like the whole fic, Sirius basically spent his time apologizing to Remus for who he is (with Remus forgiving him out of his innate-- well, I don't know! hard to tell), and that seems even more dysfunctional than the assholish behavior does. There seems to be a game of 'spot the bastard' going on, and The Bastard is pretty much Sirius. And it's not like with Snapefics, where the assholish behavior is part of the appeal for his partner-- no, Remus doesn't actually enjoy it. At all.

No, Remus is actually kind of... Oppressed, you see. By Sirius' assholish not-really-charming-thank-you behavior. But he tolerates it because... because.....
    See, here's where I get stuck. A lot of fics focus on Sirius boycrushing on Remus and finally realizing that, and it's all intense and everything-- and Remus wants him back, right. But it's not a question of Remus -falling- for Sirius-- or realizing he fancies him back. No, Remus holds back. Remus... basically, Remus doesn't trust Sirius with his heart.

Man. I know I've said the trust issues with this pairing interest me, but. It seems like the holding-back thing is some kind of moral judgment on Sirius, which really bugs me, for it reminds me of Harry's attitude towards Draco in fics, and dude, that's what I was trying to get away from. I mean, the main reason it bugs me so much is that there's no canon reason for it that I can see-- I mean, I can't really see evidence for Remus being the grudge-bearing type-- that's more Sirius' thing, dude.

Moreover, it seems like a nasty case of projection on the writers' part-- like, it's clear favoritism with Remus-- who apparently has little to no real offensive qualities, and is actually a long-suffering martyr. And I don't hate martyr!Harry as much 'cause well, at least that's canon. But. Remus doesn't have to be. So... wah. I thought the point of S/R was that Sirius could get Remus to loosen up-- let go of his reservations and feel. And if Remus spends the whole time basically making Sirius feel sorry about being himself (as far as Sirius is capable of)-- well-- that makes me feel like they're bad for each other. Which kind of... seems to be missing the point, no?

(...aaaand, it's feed-Reena's-ego time!)

Ahahah, what the hell. I like to think I'm 'not this sort of girl', but really, isn't everyone? Some of us just are more easily embarrassed than others. I think my sense of shame kind of comes and goes. But mostly goes. Far far away.
    Gacked from sistermagpie:

( The friend meme. Come on, you know you want to. )

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Just so I don't feel this post is wasted, a follow-up to a recent post:
    Reading natlyn's post on different kinds of fen, it occurs to me that part of the reason I find it difficult to find/get into a new fandom from the plethora that are out there is that are out there is that I'm just not a media fan-- that is, it's not precisely natural to me to watch a TV show in progress and want to read fic for it. I mean, I'm much more likely to get into a movie (or a book) fandom, or a fandom for a show that's long over (and I can't watch now if I hadn't then), because I'd already have a sort of... set canon which wouldn't be constantly... in my face, I guess?

I realize I was talking about the process of putting the canon 'out of one's mind' when dealing with fanfic (and fanon), but of course you can't do that in the (great majority) of fandoms where the canon is constantly changing and current.

( Funny the things you miss in a state of fannish isolation. )

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Also: cordelia_v's Snape vs. Spock comparison essay pretty much kills me. I mean, I know I always said that if I had a 'type' within the Potterverse it'd be Snape, and omg, I did always know that there's -something- familiar there, but to equate him to Spock directly just makes me titter madly. Mind you, this is someone who's had a mammoth, 3-4 year crush on Spock throughout High School. Imagining having a crush of that caliber on Snape makes me... wig out. I mean... I won't even say how far it went, because it's just that embarrassing.

The only problem as I see it is that Snape's only logical when it suits him, which makes him an impostor. An impostor, I say!