~~ The Draco problem revisited (again!)

One reason I really can't stand a lot of the modern critical approach to fiction is because the process of framing a story in a rec/review often ruins it for me. I can't stand being made to see a story in a certain way, in terms of what it should mean, and I don't like it when the author themselves does it (because that's telling vs. showing), but I really hate it when a critic/reviewer's response to a piece is basically telling the reader how to respond by outlining that fic's emotional significance and general standing in relationship to other literature and various meta aspects of the field.

    I can't decide whether this makes me a 'bad' English major, or just really uptight.
( Whatever the case, over-emotional fic reviews make me wince. A lot. )

~~

I really want to stop talking about H/D. Perhaps I should join a twelve-step program: how to stop obsessing, for the Perpetually Brainwash Resistant. Hmmm. I did have plans to talk about whether it's better to write characters one loves or hates (see, a nice abstract subject). Woe. Am hopeless t00b.

Anyway, the question of 'can Harry love canon!Draco' has been bugging me the past few days. Basically... I don't think so (and am ambivalent about how I feel about that). Typical ice-prince fanon!Draco wouldn't fare much better though; if anything, I have an intuition that Harry would hate him -more- because he's just so larger than life and over-inflated and fire-retardant and all of that. I mean... sure, there are 'cool' people Harry likes in a distant sort of 'oh, right' manner (the twins, I guess), but his friends are rather 'normal' as far as he can tell, I think.

( My Harry muse is being loud, what can I say. )

~~

Also, because, it needs to be said: stellabelle wrote another hilarious H/D fic which made me snort & giggle & coo (alternatively, but sometimes at the same time). It is truly a Very Special Thing for a story to warm the cockles of my (dirty slapper!) heart just so. Awwwwwww. (I just can't take unfunny fluff, is all.)

See, the thing is-- I really don't have the emotional energy to read that much H/D anymore unless I 'trust' you as an author (and often even if I do). Even with the authors I adore... the 'H/D place' in my heart is... sore. I'm being careful, maybe, so I don't snap like I did this past winter and read -no- H/D for like, four months. stellabelle's fic is sort of... restorative in that regard. <3

- ficlet - speaking louder - Harry angst

For those who are curious about what I mean when I say my Harry just doesn't like (canon) Draco, I present this piece of evidence, straight from my Harry muse, so to speak. It's not so much a story as an um... state of mind thing, and it's actually part of a game but you don't need the context for it, I don't think, to understand where I'm coming from.

So. Angry and bored!Harry meets frustrated and enraged yet impotent!Draco, Take One.

( Ficlet - `speaking louder' - H/D, of a sort, but not really - some things just speak louder. )

~~

P.S. And then I read the first paragraph of `As it should be', and dude, I love Draco again <3 Maybe I just... maybe I'm just not doing it right. See, I don't love -all- Dracos. I just love some Dracos. This is one of them <3<3<3<3 Oh, *heart*. Also, I think I've just realized that I don't actually love my Draco, not when I take him seriously. :/ This might be a problem, come to think of it. But maybe one isn't supposed to take him seriously-- maybe he's best as a smirking sneering fool. I mean, it doesn't even feel like a question of being OOC. He's just... bleh. He has no charm, well, especially in angstfic. He's so... childish but not in a cute way. He's kinda cute in canon, but. Really, the best angstfic has a sense of humor, and the best Dracos are fools, crazy crazy freaky fools. My Draco seems to have perpetual indigestion or something. Bleh.

Actually, I think I still -can- write him 'cutely' (like... I'm thinking of the Draco/Zacharias I wrote for Maya), it's just... that feels like a waste of time or something.

On the other hand, it's a lot easier to write cute!Draco from Draco's own pov-- I think that's what I'm forgetting. Usually, cute!Draco fic isn't written from Harry's pov, unless it's Zahra. Hmmm. In which case there's a lot of boycrushing and denial going on, and my Harry is emphatically not in denial (though Draco is). Maybe I try too hard, though. It's just... my bond with them began with anger-- I only kind of... graduated to cuteness. I actually -enjoy- it more when it's not as heavy, so to speak, but then, I always want to 'deal' with things and... then it's just not so funny anymore. I feel like I can't ignore that, though I want to. I feel like... it's hard to love them like that, but if I don't, I'm cheating them somehow. I dunno.