~~ why ask why. why write X. why Y. (yes, I amuse myself, why.)

So I posted a somewhat defensive (and not entirely defensible) rant on veelainc about mpreg, asking why the hell anyone writes/reads/likes it, and kind of asking why don't they just write het. Um... except I was more circumspect about it (of course). Since veelainc's reply setting is "to sender", I've gotten two emails, both very nice and helpful, though one of them just told me that asking that question is like asking "why write slash and not het? why write fanfic and not original fic?"-- and I admit she's got a point there. I was just kind of pissed off at the badfic (I get that way sometimes-- I realize it's a problem) and wanted to flail, except cover my ass at the same time.

Then she just kind of told me that if I didn't understand/like it now, I never will. And I really have a problem with that. Why does anyone say that? Is it just that it's so rare for understanding to occur that people just don't expect it anymore? Is the general experience so formative that they can't imagine I'm open-minded enough to accept/understand things that annoy and boggle me? Does this relate to people thinking I'm self-righteous (and thus closed-minded)? Do I in particular just come off as someone who wouldn't "get it" even if she tries and whose mind is rusty as a doornail? Why can't I understand things that don't come naturally, especially if that understanding is my stated goal?

I'm not so much offended as... kind of disappointed. Somehow I've disappointed someone who doesn't even know me, just by not understanding and being ignorant. If we just wrote off all the ignorant people, what hope is there? How can one transcend prejudice if most people go around with the idea that if you don't immediately agree, you're never going to? Is this indicative of some larger societal trend or am I just off my rocker as usual?

This ties into there being only a small, small group of people (generally my friends) who ever disagree with me on this journal. It's either "I agree" or... silence. Is it that same idea that disagreeing is pointless operating? Is it that people are just content to only discuss things in an environment where there's a foregone consensus? I mean, I know lots of people argue with each other, and try to use rhetoric to sway each other, and so on. Where does this idea that one is doomed to one's opinions and preferences come from?

I mean... people are clearly mulish about some prejudices. I myself am not about to read mpreg no matter how much understanding I suddenly gain of it. But! Understanding and liking are two different things, aren't they. Understanding would most likely mean I don't -hate- it anymore (this, btw, is why it's not homophobic to dislike slash, come to think of it-- if you are okay with others' liking slash). It won't mean some happyland of bliss, but at least I can see what the appeal is for others-- and I respect others' opinions on a basic level, especially if I can see the rationale behind them. That's to be expected of a civilized person, isn't it?
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( For reference, here's the text of my `Why Mpreg??' post. )

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( These would be my afterthought-type comments on that post, people's responses taken into account. )