~~putting things to rest.

i hate debate. i'm really not kidding, i just really dislike being put on the spot and having to defend myself because my brain frazzles and i start to sound like an idiot. not that i don't always sound like an idiot, but anyway. i like -discussion-, especially with people who are semi-sympathetic to me, or at least we shake hands at the end because it's all in the spirit of fun. or something. so anything i say here isn't meant as part of a debate, simply because i'm worn out at this point. it's meant as just organizing my thoughts, and if it inspires others to have similar thoughts or wildly different thoughts, that's perfectly fine, but i don't want to argue about it.
    if debate-- and me having what seems like an indefensible opinion-- that i can't defend and don't think is even actually what my opinion -is-, then no, i don't want any part of most any debate-- and especially if all this means that my so-called opinion will set people i respect against me and have them be upset with me. then i'd rather express no opinion at all. peace is more important than being understood, in some cases. because discussion is one thing, and argument is another, and nothing really positive ever comes from arguing. people just get more and more wound up, and toes get stepped on, and feelings get hurt...

    to the point where i'm seriously considering asking the people i feedback whether they still want my feedback or not. and whether i should feedback anyone but the 5 people or so i'm quite certain want it, at this point. which is just, this is when it's gone too far, for me anyway.
    and just to clarify, this is mostly inspired by the debate on cassie claire's journal, which one could look up if one wanted.

the necessary disclaimer being that i agree that you need to know canon to write/critique coherently. i personally never said it's my holier-than-thou stance that i personally am rejecting canon and saying i don't want it and get it far away from me. i have issues with it, but also a large amount of affection for it. no, it's not as dear to me as `the forgotten beasts of eld', but then, that's my favorite fantasy book and so what. all it is, is just a matter of making time and procrastinating. but anyway, to get the issue (far, far) away from me...
    my only quibbles are of degree and definition, really.

    i respect everyone's opinion, and i am willing to listen, but as far as actual -discussion-, that might not be the best thing for my overall mental health right now.
    and i know i said i'm semi-leaving, and okay, so i was really frazzled at the time, and i guess i don't mean it. but i'm not touching this anymore after this post.
~~

( so here goes. my questions and postulations on all the possible relationships between canon and fanfic. )

~~

and now, to get all personal about this.

( if anyone's curious about my own experiences with hp canon and fanon and their relationship to my history and attitudes. )

EDIT - oh hell, comment away if you want. sigh.