~~writing modes & storytelling... and need in pairings.

i usually take my new-found need/desire/addiction to an audience, and my wibbling and concern over whether and how much i change my writing to please and entertain others, as a new flaw, a sort of bad habit i'd picked up. most of my life, i've written for myself, and i was so insulated that a large percentage of my stories don't even make -sense- to people. sometimes i think it's because i'm insane, and inherently nonsensical somehow, and my thought processes are just-- wacked-- but it could be something else too, of course. it could be that i've just never felt like i was -communicating- with anyone but myself, in writing, and often enough in real life. this impenetrability i tend to have is common for a certain sort of writer.

( so on i go about the difference between `cathartic' and `storyteller' modes of writing... )

~~

and. i think i have a pet peeve.
    i seem to notice a trend in (romance) stories, especially if it's a case of opposites attracting. and i suppose i bring it upon myself, reading about that in the first place. there's this strong, dominant, benevolent (or angry) character. he might be kind and gentle, or he may just be innocent yet strong, or he may be weathered and cynical, and strong. paired with a weaker, emotionally unstable character who needs some sort of rescuing from themselves. maybe this character has such low self-esteem that they seem "bad" and do things that the other character doesn't approve of. but it's only because they don't have that character's love and kindness to make them see the alternative.

naturally, then there are stories in reaction to that. they're aware of the co-dependency problem, and often straight out tell you (in the voice of a third character) that these characters need to be separated so that they can be strong alone before they can be strong together.
    this rubs me the wrong way because it always seems to come from the outside, and is sort of forced on the relationship by plot or well-meaning friends. so you're telling the same story, except you're making sure the characters get "help". at least they don't tend to actually go to get therapy. that would be a neat trick to solve character problems. "they got therapy." yes, what if draco malfoy got therapy??

the reason i personally like opposites-attract stories is because you get this friction, this challenging of one another, this sense of liveliness and change and growth. hopefully, the couple is evenly matched. and yet so often, something happens, and suddenly, they're not. mostly, it's draco. draco needs harry, you see, to feel worthwhile. harry is the first person who's ever really luuuuurved him. harry is the only person who needs him. harry is his sun-and-stars. and then it could be the other way around. and then instead of challenge and conflict you get clinginess and neediness. and it's like they're completely different people from who they used to be.
    it could be argued that this is a result of the inherent unhealthiness of harry & draco, or of heero & duo (another couple i got this with). they just helplessly degenerate and that's all there is to it. either they bicker themselves apart or they cling so fiercely they break each other. or there's separation therapy.

it's all in how you picture it, isn't it. i would agree they need each other and that is probably going to be an inevitable component of any harry/draco pairing. but does need have to make you less than you are? is draco just inherently weaker? ok, maybe he is. but can't being in love make you -stronger- without you becoming -dependent- on that strength-- that is, can't the strength you get come from -you- and not the person you love?

reading the latest bit of `checkmate', i just remember all the things i dislike in romances of this sort. there are bits of this sort of characterization in a -lot- of fics. a -lot-. i enjoy a number of them. but really. someone has to be broken. someone else has to be kind. someone has to have a void for someone else to plug. love doesn't have to be like that. darkness and light may need each other, but when one says they become stronger united, it's not because they are inherently weak. they're just different. how hard can that be to write?

~~grumble grumble.

i suppose i've realized the obvious peril of reading too much fanfiction. i guess it was always blatant, but for some reason (probably to do with reading vaguely good fic most of the time), i haven't seen it this clearly. this isn't really a problem with fanfiction alone. all fiction does this to some extent.

repetition. repetition of theme, repetition of exact situation, repetition of motives and characterizations and everything, just, everything. why anyone feels the need to repeat jk rowling's own pattern of temporal progression-- dursleys, train, great hall, new teachers, and then suddenly (in a h/d fic), malfoy, malfoy malfoy, is beyond me. my brain hurts. i want entertainment, i'm not asking to be made to think and ponder the nature of the universe or draco malfoy for that matter. but this is just too much.

people should just slap themselves before they write an interlude with the dursleys unless it's -really- important to the story and can't be achieved in any sort of glancing reference or dialogue/monologue on harry's part. this goes even more with a scene on the train. why god, why.
    is this why people gravitate towards writing/reading about tom riddle or the marauders or the twins or anyone but harry? because they've -read- about harry, and trying to read a bad version of book five from harry's point of view (again) is just too much?

none of my favorite fics do this except for one (`sins of the father' and probably `princes of fire and ice'), and that only barely. it seems 80% of the run-of-the-mill hp slash fic is trying to write book five. it makes me want to hit my head against the desk. repeatedly. i mean, being canonically correct is one thing. mentioning harry's relationship with dudley and voldemort and hermione and ron and sirius and mrs. weasley and cedric and ginny and -everyone- just to be thorough is quite another.
    i suppose it's my own fault for reading it. *sigh*
    EDIT: reading one badfic, and laughing out loud at the first thing for -ages- it seems, it struck me. sherlock holmes!draco is THE funniest premise for a fic. just hilarious. dammit, someone has to write it. someone...? anyone...? bueller.....?? and nonono, i don't mean ``malfoy, p.i." obviously. more like, a regular canon draco, in hogwarts, overcome with the seduction of deduction. awww, c'mon, it'd be funny. he could skulk about and look for Clues and shoot morphine and blaise could be his sidekick. he could somehow interfere funnily with some Quest of the trio's, and make them see him in a new light, except he's just having a bit of fun with logic puzzles. and then, he could save the day without dirtying his hands, and shoot some more morphine. it's perfect..! *laughs*