~~mary sue rant & stuff
Sep. 17th, 2002 03:44 pmaccidentally found out the ending of `two lost souls'. am even -more- scared now. realize i should stop not doing things (especially reading) just because they intimidate me & threaten to overload me... hm. i wonder if reading the trilogy actually sounds easier. *wibbles* i try to imagine liking pain & suffering, but can't, though i don't really have an excuse since it's sort of... i've read that analogy once, i wish i could remember where. ``like swallowing a chocolate-covered orange with switchblades inside". i think i rebel against pain overload in fic just as i do in real life-- that is-- i think i take it just a tad too personally. it's like, if a character i love dies, a part of me dies also, or at least i have that phantom tearing, like someone trying to cut off a limb. i suppose people can cry & sob and be "affected"-- but i don't cry. i just feel a lot of pain, and get all angsty and need ice cream and maybe some anime to watch.
ok let's face it, i'm waaayy too invested here. angst is intense, death, death is just-- well. there's too much of it. death is when things -end- and nothing you can do will ever matter again, and nothing you can do will ever really heal you, and you will be broken in that one place, and your heart will be torn for the rest of your life. if i identify with a character, and he's in love with someone, he'd probably rather kill himself and/or die before seeing the one he loves die. it's that rebellion-- love itself is like a rebellion against death. like the last chapter of draco veritas. yes, death is the lover's enemy-- to the last moment, you would do anything to fight it. the worst thing is being able to do nothing. maybe i can sort of go into it with a philosophical viewpoint, sort of like preparing myself if i thought ip was going to end with them still broken up. *imagines mantra* ``these are just two characters. this is just a story. this is just one world. this is just one possibility. this is not the only reality. this isn't even reality. repeat. this isn't reality."
*sighs*
``and death shall have no dominion". no dominion, dammit. i am so, so delusional.....
~~
i have such a strong feeling that the first kiss project is going to be full of talent and sparklies, it's almost making me weepy. well. in a good way. like staring at a ferrero rocher box, and shivering because you haven't tried any yet. *grins* especially looking forward to the lucius/james & the harry/draco of course.
read the `best enemies' ficlets by augustus-- can't believe it's taken me this long. they are beyond yummy & into
ferrero rocher level, big-time. they say you can't write h/d fluff
"without a reason" but this says you can. humor needs no reason *grins*
draco first-person is hard to pull off, for that long, and write a
well-rounded story, without having him bullshit the whole time. hee! i *heart* juvenile-crush!h&d so so sooo much. it even had dream-smut..! what more can you want??! i think the reason i like fluff (for -any- pairing, really), is the same reason i like romantic comedies. and lemme tell you, i love well-done(!) romantic comedies. mmm, think hepburn-tracey. think `four weddings and a funeral'. think `the princess bride', heh. now think, `draco gets harry drunk & harry admits draco is kinda `nice', which is to say, kinda `sexy'". except that's only works in context ~:)
anyway.
was thinking about my own definitions of Mary Sues (perfect projections of the author) in fanfic. my own definition would be~~ a character the author projects herself with, and writes with prejudice. i realize that happens a lot, and a lot of fic would be disqualified as "original" by that standard. but, i'm still wary of it. in fact, i'm wary of writing hermione-pov fic at all, in hp.
because like, since we're mostly female (fanfic writers), it's tempting to place ourselves in the female pov character, isn't it? if one gets at all sloppy, that is. like, i'm pretty sure that a large number of hermione/draco or hermione/snape (or even hermione/harry, but less so) shippers are shipping that because she's the female & they find the other guy hot/interesting/cool to write, themselves. i ship r/hr because i feel confident i don't want (or like, even) ron, personally, but hermione would. mostly because i like relationships that begin in resentment ^_^;;
sometimes i think that harry/snape is a bit of that self-insertion too, because it's like-- a lot of stories go on about how sexy snape is and how he has this low, velvety voice-- not going from harry's pov, but just kinda using it as description.
i admit i write/read h/d because i personally find them interesting and cool to write and hot, etc. and that's ok, as long as i -also- don't really -identify with- or -idealize- either of them, and am willing to show how the relatioship doesn't work, in ways, is difficult, even ridiculous. the semi-perfection of draco/ginny (not a lot of shippers dwell on the dark side of het draco ships as much as slashers do, and are far more ridiculously redemptionista, as far as i can tell). i mean, it's hard. -we- want to redeem draco, so of course ginny/hermione wants to redeem draco. it's somewhat more painful, i imagine, to write draco being mean or dumping or KILLING hermione or ginny. i mean, if either of the girls "just take it", they're being battered women, instead of just sort of... tough. if they fight fire with fire, it's just... weird, and doesn't fit their personalities all that well.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ivyblossom mentioned this in her veela-inc manifesto (i think that's where it was, anyway...).
dunno why i'm going on about this. just my take on mary sues. any pairing, slash or het, that you write because YOU think one of the actors/characters is hot, is a mary sue, to me. i don't care how imperfect they are-- and i'm perfectly able to enjoy and adore the fic, mind you-- it's still your projection of desirability & personality worship probably coloring your writing.
well, that was useful (not). of course one's own quirks and desires can't help but color one's writing and characters. obviously. it's just sometimes, it's a little TOO obvious, for my tastes only. and i find things like ginny/draco or hermione/draco too obvious. don't even get me -started- on hermione/snape which is just beyond ridiculous into the realm of, "gahd, he's so shaggable, and she'll do, she's smart enough and everything". meh.
will stop now~:)
ok let's face it, i'm waaayy too invested here. angst is intense, death, death is just-- well. there's too much of it. death is when things -end- and nothing you can do will ever matter again, and nothing you can do will ever really heal you, and you will be broken in that one place, and your heart will be torn for the rest of your life. if i identify with a character, and he's in love with someone, he'd probably rather kill himself and/or die before seeing the one he loves die. it's that rebellion-- love itself is like a rebellion against death. like the last chapter of draco veritas. yes, death is the lover's enemy-- to the last moment, you would do anything to fight it. the worst thing is being able to do nothing. maybe i can sort of go into it with a philosophical viewpoint, sort of like preparing myself if i thought ip was going to end with them still broken up. *imagines mantra* ``these are just two characters. this is just a story. this is just one world. this is just one possibility. this is not the only reality. this isn't even reality. repeat. this isn't reality."
*sighs*
``and death shall have no dominion". no dominion, dammit. i am so, so delusional.....
~~
i have such a strong feeling that the first kiss project is going to be full of talent and sparklies, it's almost making me weepy. well. in a good way. like staring at a ferrero rocher box, and shivering because you haven't tried any yet. *grins* especially looking forward to the lucius/james & the harry/draco of course.
read the `best enemies' ficlets by augustus-- can't believe it's taken me this long. they are beyond yummy & into
ferrero rocher level, big-time. they say you can't write h/d fluff
"without a reason" but this says you can. humor needs no reason *grins*
draco first-person is hard to pull off, for that long, and write a
well-rounded story, without having him bullshit the whole time. hee! i *heart* juvenile-crush!h&d so so sooo much. it even had dream-smut..! what more can you want??! i think the reason i like fluff (for -any- pairing, really), is the same reason i like romantic comedies. and lemme tell you, i love well-done(!) romantic comedies. mmm, think hepburn-tracey. think `four weddings and a funeral'. think `the princess bride', heh. now think, `draco gets harry drunk & harry admits draco is kinda `nice', which is to say, kinda `sexy'". except that's only works in context ~:)
anyway.
was thinking about my own definitions of Mary Sues (perfect projections of the author) in fanfic. my own definition would be~~ a character the author projects herself with, and writes with prejudice. i realize that happens a lot, and a lot of fic would be disqualified as "original" by that standard. but, i'm still wary of it. in fact, i'm wary of writing hermione-pov fic at all, in hp.
because like, since we're mostly female (fanfic writers), it's tempting to place ourselves in the female pov character, isn't it? if one gets at all sloppy, that is. like, i'm pretty sure that a large number of hermione/draco or hermione/snape (or even hermione/harry, but less so) shippers are shipping that because she's the female & they find the other guy hot/interesting/cool to write, themselves. i ship r/hr because i feel confident i don't want (or like, even) ron, personally, but hermione would. mostly because i like relationships that begin in resentment ^_^;;
sometimes i think that harry/snape is a bit of that self-insertion too, because it's like-- a lot of stories go on about how sexy snape is and how he has this low, velvety voice-- not going from harry's pov, but just kinda using it as description.
i admit i write/read h/d because i personally find them interesting and cool to write and hot, etc. and that's ok, as long as i -also- don't really -identify with- or -idealize- either of them, and am willing to show how the relatioship doesn't work, in ways, is difficult, even ridiculous. the semi-perfection of draco/ginny (not a lot of shippers dwell on the dark side of het draco ships as much as slashers do, and are far more ridiculously redemptionista, as far as i can tell). i mean, it's hard. -we- want to redeem draco, so of course ginny/hermione wants to redeem draco. it's somewhat more painful, i imagine, to write draco being mean or dumping or KILLING hermione or ginny. i mean, if either of the girls "just take it", they're being battered women, instead of just sort of... tough. if they fight fire with fire, it's just... weird, and doesn't fit their personalities all that well.
ivyblossom mentioned this in her veela-inc manifesto (i think that's where it was, anyway...). dunno why i'm going on about this. just my take on mary sues. any pairing, slash or het, that you write because YOU think one of the actors/characters is hot, is a mary sue, to me. i don't care how imperfect they are-- and i'm perfectly able to enjoy and adore the fic, mind you-- it's still your projection of desirability & personality worship probably coloring your writing.
well, that was useful (not). of course one's own quirks and desires can't help but color one's writing and characters. obviously. it's just sometimes, it's a little TOO obvious, for my tastes only. and i find things like ginny/draco or hermione/draco too obvious. don't even get me -started- on hermione/snape which is just beyond ridiculous into the realm of, "gahd, he's so shaggable, and she'll do, she's smart enough and everything". meh.
will stop now~:)
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