~~ ficcy art... stuff.

[reenka]

Just now malafede felt compelled to share this link to one of Makofu's H/D pics, and I was, in turn, compelled to drabble. So.

This is kind of weird and abstract and angsty, to go with the serene-yet-vaguely-disturbing mood of the pic. Also, this is rather regressive of me, somewhat in the oldstyle!H/D kinda groove....


Disclaimer: not mine. rats.



// written first //

Sometimes he almost wants to say the words, but his lips turn blue, and it's not enough. He's silent as he lays his cheek against Harry's back, and traps Harry's heart between it and his hand.

He wants to tell Harry every secret he's never admitted he knew, but he can't. Harry would listen, and his eyes would shutter and he'd walk away with a slow, even gait, and then Draco would grow slowly colder until the winter found its way beneath his fingernails. It would be over, he thinks. If he speaks, it would be over.

//

Harry looks down at the long, pale fingers resting on his chest, and he can't move. If he moves, Draco will startle and jerk away; if he moves, he'll remember why he should really get going; if he moves, he'll turn around and see Draco there, looking at him with those empty cold eyes full of everything Harry hates.

Harry doesn't look at Draco. He just listens to him breathe and watches the sky.

He remembers.

He remembers flying together earlier that day. He remembers hexing Draco off his broom earlier that year, when he thought it might be entertaining. He remembers visiting Draco in the hospital, holding those long fingers beneath his own, and waiting.

He remembers how Draco woke up and refused to speak. He looked at Harry with withering, accusing eyes, and something in Harry's stomach had tightened. Guilt.

The next morning, Draco owled him an empty parchment, and it was only a month later that the hidden words finally crumpled underneath yet another spell: "I love you," it said. "I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I have you." It went on and on in endless repetition, the elegant, pointed scrawl going straight off the page. Harry couldn't tell which was true and which wasn't; which was written first and which was written last. He didn't think he wanted to know.

//

Draco shivers, though Harry's back is warm and his breathing even. Harry never remarks on Draco's infrequent, silent breaks from their warfare, and neither of them mentions it. They don't look at each other, so it doesn't really happen. It's not real like this, is it.

In a minute, Draco will get up. He'll walk away slowly, waiting for Potter to move, which he won't. He's Potter, and he thinks this is all Draco deserves. Maybe he's right.

//

Harry feels so calm.

Draco fits snugly against his back, like he belongs there. This feels okay, though it shouldn't. It doesn't hurt until afterwards; Harry's heart is suspended, barely beating in his own chest. It's okay as long as Draco stays still like this. They can breathe the stilted winter air and wait it out.

Harry feels so calm.

//

Sometimes Draco thinks he's about to break, but then Harry moves, and instead he gasps.
~~

Also!
    I went to visit my mom this weekend and was bored, and discovered that Snape is one of the funnest things to doodle with ink -ever-. Thusly, my second Snape doodle ever was born.





...I also did a silly storybook!Snape version :>
    And I wrote some more filthy-wrong shameless H/D drabble!porn if anyone's... into that sort of thing. :-"

Comments

[shaggirl.livejournal.com]

Stories like this one make me think *I* might break, they are so sad and lovely.

I have finally finished my fic for pornish_pixies, so if you still want that beta I'd love to read Death Eater!Draco.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

:D :D I um... keep adding new scenes/plot elements to it ^^;; (WHY, WHY AM I CURSED LIKE THIS??!)

But never fear! I always intended to unload it on you, 'cause... man, this baby is gettin' too big for my britches :>
Also, wheeee you liked :)!

[shaggirl.livejournal.com]

Send it on anytime you're ready then, and I'll definitely make time for it. Your writing is so much fun to read. I know you're a fan of Kassie's writing, and I think you guys have similar styles, though I'm really terrible at articulating why things move me in a particular way. But, just a little quirky and very character based and not at all cliche, even when the premise is cliche. Fresh, I guess.

[stellabelle.livejournal.com]

Oh. Reena, this is lovely. Seriously. It's atmospheric and flowy and georgeous. This is one of those stories that leaves me with a dull achey sort of feeling in my chest, but it's the good kind of dull achey...er...if there is such a thing. But this fic is so bittersweet and almost-heartbreaking and raw that I just can't help feeling that way.

The first two paragraphs were insanely awesome. I just love the parts about Draco's lips turning blue and then the winter finding its way 'beneath his fingernails'. It's just the abstractness of it, I think. I love the repetition of the coldness, too: winter and air and eyes. It all ties in so well together. And, as well, I liked the mentions of Draco's fingers, cause, like, I've always pictured him having these long, thin, spindly fingers and I could just see them here.

And also:

"I hate you. I love you. I have you." It went on and on in endless repetition, the elegant, pointed scrawl going straight off the page. Harry couldn't tell which was true and which wasn't; which was written first and which was written last. He didn't think he wanted to know.

That paragraph (but this part especially) nearly killed me. I think it's just the idea of that uncertainty - it's just so...Harry.

And the last line - *sigh* Just...honestly.

This was just wonderfully written. There's a peacefulness about it (the overall mood, I suppose) which somehow overrides the uncertainty and the doubt and the bittersweetness. You paint their relationship as being so tenuous, y'know, and yet there's this solidity about it (how they watch each other sleep; Draco fitting against Harry). Or maybe that's just what I wanted to read into it. Heh.

You already know what I think of your writing, but I think this might be one of my favorites. I adore these sort of...er...mood pieces, I suppose they could be called? - and especially when they're done as well as this.

So...now that my comment is probably longer than your fic, I'll shut up. :)

<3

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

eeeeeee! <33333! *grins madly* Omg, your feedback makes me all toe-curlingly gleeful, wheeeeee :D All that detail & attention and whoa, goes to my head :D It's odd because there's a trend that if someone seems to like my writing in general, they almost always like my atmospheric pieces best. I suppose I've been writing them the longest, and now they're second nature. I try & try to y'know, branch out & do dialogue, but it's always comfy, y'know, coming home so to speak, ahahah. Not a crowd-pleasing venture by any means, but there's something so... relaxing about writing visually (which is what this sort of ficlet tends to be).

Wah. *bounces around* I would frame this comment if I could :D :D!! <3! Were you here, I would definitely buy you cookies (ahaha, or I could just write you something, if you have a scene/scenario/concept/kink in mind) >:D

[stellabelle.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I completely understand what you mean about the writing trend sort of thing. I mean, this is just my opinion, obviously, but - it seems to me that most artists (and I'll say writers for this example) have a sort of 'old stand-by' that they feel comfortable with and can always revert back to if they do branch out, or can always stick with cause they know it works. Y'know? I mean, I know I do that, at least. So yeah - I think it's completely natural to be like that in one's writing, and especially because the actual writing process is/can be such a...deeply spiritual/emotional/whatever process and so I think it only makes sense to do what works, what feels right.

And obviously this type of writing works for you as the writer, and I think in turn it works for the readers because it just feels natural. If that makes sense.

Yayyy, you could totally write me something! It would make me so pleased. Like...I haven't got any actual ideas, or anything, except maybe to say 'angsty war fic'. But I'm kinda stuck on that idea at the moment, I think, cause I'm trying to write one, and it just. isn't. working. LOL. But y'know, just any idea that pops into your mind, if you feel like it, I'd be all about it, dude. :)

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

There should probably be a balance between writing what's easy and what's challenging... I just get a bit discouraged 'cause I like being 'good', y'know, and it's tempting to just keep doing what you're good/best at, but I don't want to be good the easy way all the time, I want to be good the hard way :> :>

Tehee, you can let me know any time you -do- have an idea, then~:)) Currently, though, I'm working on (almost done with) an angsty warfic novella... ahahaha. :D

[stellabelle.livejournal.com]

I guess, for me, it's like: I write within these specific parameters, right. I mean, I do write stuff that's Out There, or whatever, but...yeah, I dunno. I'm sort of a cowardly writer, hehe, in that I mostly follow the 'write what you know' sort of cliche and when I do write something challenging (to use your word), like, I get scared of it. Which is sad, really, because probably the fun in it is trying something new. I'm trying to burst out of the confiningness of it all, aghhh - but anyway. Heh.

Angsty warfic novella? *is excited*

Oh, and I came up with some random inspiration for a story. I'm thinking, like, dorky boys and the lines:
"You suck, Malfoy!"
"...How did you know about that?"
And also, maybe infuriated Hufflepuffs (or infuriated Snape, or what have you). And copious, unnecessary amounts of naked Harry for a humor device. Y'know, if you want, hehehe. I'm just saying, that kinda stuff makes my day. Because when it comes right down to it, I'm a dirty slapper. LOL.

Um. Anyway. If you can work with that, fabulous, and if not, well...at least you know how odd I am. :)

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Man, those prompts are great, but they seem to require a certain sort of mood, which reminds me of writing the 'WHY GOD WHY' fic also known as the HARRY IS GAY fic :D :D heeeeee. (also known as `Arrested Development, natch.)

Hehehe yah, I'm writing a novella o_0 Er. *coughs nervously*
Mmmm, naked Harry. Man, 'dirty slapper' doesn't even -begin- to describe me :D :D
Infuriated Snape sounds fun, too. On the other hand, it sounds like you have 30% of a fic you could easily write yourself, *hinthinthint* :> :>

I get scared too, which is why I write new/challenging stuff quickly & all in one gulp without editing, like drinking NyQuil or something. Not that NyQuil, y'know, tastes all that bad, actually ><;; But it's the spirit of the law!!1

[stellabelle.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha, I really shouldn't write this, y'know, because I have, like five other stories I'm working on right now (which are never going to get done, so what's the point...?) but - er, since I can't get naked Harry out of my mind right now, I may have to. Goddammit. Heh.

Anyway, here's hoping the novella's coming along. I've been in an angsty sort of place lately but for some reason, I just cannot detach myself from writing dorky, pointless stuff, y'know. Oh well. :)

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

:D :D :D :D!!! *twirls in glee* Nekkid Harry!!1 See... some fics are such good stress relief. Yeah, that's it ^^;;

[fennie-snake.livejournal.com]

the elegant, pointed scrawl going straight off the page. Harry couldn't tell which was true and which wasn't; which was written first and which was written last. He didn't think he wanted to know.

Ach. So beautiful. You write the best H/D. (Really.)

*wobbly grin*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

*grins* Thankees :D And, am so glad you read it (and like, told me afterwards, wheeee) :D