~~ when self-betas go bad

[reenka]

I just found a reference to something the person claimed was one of writing's oldest rules: Finish your first draft.

I've never heard of this being a "rule" before. Are there more rules where that came from? Something like, "make sure you always make the character's motivations clear" or "go over the text and look for cliches" or "construct a time-table and see where everything fits" or "make sure you know what the other character's motivations are even if you never mention them" or something (see, those are things a beta wouldn't bother with, but I have to do anyway). Or are those too vague and general? I mean, those are things I just do -naturally-, without thinking about it, but maybe it'd be helpful to have it in list form?

So this is your chance to tell me what to do, or something like it. I'm currently in the self-editing stages of a fic, and even though I feel it's -done-, I'm vaguely dissatisfied with it, but the inspiration to write new things for it and really rethink it is gone. I was just wondering if there are some things you -do- ... like a writer's postfactum check-list toolkit sort of thing. Yes, a check-list; that sounds all organized and writerly (well, to my easily impressionable ears).

I realize this sounds like the job for a beta, but the fact is... I have some sort of mental road-block with being beta'd. First of all, it's such a Big Deal to even ask anyone, and then... I find that by the time they get back to me, my original rush of inspiration to edit had gone and I procrastinate to the point that I don't feel like doing -anything- with the fic anymore. I think with enough discipline and capacity for obsessive attention to detail, one can be one's own editor, especially if one has the capacity to look critically at one's work, which I think I do. Plus, the grammar end of things is pretty easy-- if I don't know it all, then I can find out.

Most people's "beta problems" are because they're so protective of their work or are afraid of harsh criticism, and I'm neither. Most people aren't harsh enough for me, but that's not the point; thing is, few people will pay as much attention to my work as I do. The writing and editing both are usually processes built on the same burst of inspiration; I work continuously, writing the first draft and then prodding and fixing and editing as the inspiration strikes. After that rush of movement, I generally lose all interest, so in the end I generally settle for a critique more than an edit. If this makes me sound lazy, that's probably because I am.

And then I thought... maybe what I need more than a beta is more -structure-... some sort of plan to follow, some sort of rules that I can use to self-edit 'cause clearly that's what comes naturally to me. All writers self-edited traditionally, didn't they? At least on the level most people beta: the basic self-consistency and grammar level, rather than a deeper mechanics of the story itself, in which case one rethinks basic plot-points and characterizations (which I admit one could always use outside help with).

So then... what is your check-list? Do you -have- a check-list? Am I on crack? (You don't have to answer that last one; it's pretty obvious anyway.)

Comments

[bookshop.livejournal.com]

I almost -never- know what I'm doing, and when I do, it generally intimidates me into not doing it

well, i really do think that sometimes it helps to let yourself be surprised. also, you mostly tend to write one-shots, and i really like writing one-shots without an idea of what i'm going to say. I sat down, for instance, to write one of the original fics yesterday, and found myself staring at a totally surprising first sentence that came from god knows where, and I absolutely loved it and have been having a total blast with the fic ever since, even though I'm not sure where I'm going to end up. but i view those things as being sort of, moments of tiny epiphany, not something you can necessarily regenerate every time you sit down to write.

The most successful short story that i ever wrote (which i actually talked about earlier today in a reply to ontheside--let me know if you'd like me to c/p part of that comment here and I will) had a writing process that was pretty unique. I had all the ingredients of the story because it was a writing project for a creative writing class, and we'd had to research the facts we were basing the story on from newspaper articles and magazines from a certain period of time. And I had all the characters in place and just had this universe in my head for two weeks. For two weeks I just sort of thought about the characters and the setting and the story, without really any idea of how it all fit together, and what I was going to say. And then I sat down and finally started to write, and it was really like the narrative voice of the story took over and literally started telling me what happened. The character was also something of a real bitch, and I had never written a character like her, with as much depth, before, so the entire experience was one of spontaneity joined with surprise, and a really memorable one.

All that is to say that I think there can be a definite advantage to *not* knowing where you want to go, and letting the story take you there. And I know what you mean about being intimidated by knowledge--there are so many times that I feel like I've bitten off more than I can chew, and what I *want* to write is far beyond my ability to pull off.

But I also think that writing through the intimidation and the fear--and yes, also the impatience, which is a huge problem for me, too--is what helps us become disciplined and confident as writers. "Trade" was a hideously different and poorer fic this time last year than it was when I finally posted it. And I am really really happy that I committed myself to working through all the difficulties and issues I was having with it, because I know I am ten times prouder of the finished product than the one I originally sent to beta. And, I know you understand that, but I just want to encourage you not to be intimidated or afraid, because you'll never know what you're capable of as a writer unless you stretch your limits. You seem to be really good generally about wanting to do that, so I would think that you would benefit a lot from pushing past your misgivings about where you *want* a fic to go, and seeing what happens when you consciously attempt to take it there.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, I wasn't talking about short stories, but it's not like I -mean- to write one-shots or anything, it's just that I don't know how to marshall my energy & stay focused through the process of following through on the many longer-fic ideas I have. I mean, some people naturally think in smaller terms or something, I'm sure, but.... Er. I'm not like that. I'm just... undisciplined (and/or lazy).

The only way I meant short stories intimidate me is after beta. When the inspiration has run dry and yet I feel like it's a Really Good Story (or so my betas tell me), so I feel I -should- finish, and yet now I'm all flatfooted and feeling like I have something to live up to and also my fire tends to have been severly banked by that point. Usually these are the stories with some sort of plot. Oh boy. -.-

See, the reason the fandom (and you) thinks that I write non-plotty short fics is because that's all that gets -finished- and I generally don't even get them beta-read, y'know. So no pressure. But I write a host of things I never actually finish, which is my problem.

I'm still patiently waiting for the moment an original fic plot/characters clicks enough for me to feel inspired near as much as fanfic inspires me. I can come up with both plot & characters on the drop of a hat, and I can equally easily discard it all. I mean, it matters in a sort of theoretical way, but there's no urgency to it. With the whole exercise-like nature of fanfic ("I'm trying for -this- aspect of -this- in this fic") and the whole built-in audience thing... I'm much more pushed along.

But anyway, um. Yeah I'm curious about the comment~:)