~~ the labors of love <3

[reenka]

So why do you love the things you love? Why do you love the pairing(s) you love? Why do you write the pairings you love?

After switchknife asked me in my poll from the day before yesterday to write some Harry/Snape (or Snape/Draco as Ish asked), I was thinking yeah, maybe I should branch out (more). You know, broadening horizons = a good thing, whatever. And I like broadening horizons-- my mind likes stretching. I mean, most people don't realize I -have- written plenty of things besides H/D (ahahaha 'cause they don't read those things), but only Harry/Ron as far as Harry-slashed-with-someone-else. I've never slashed Draco with anyone else, either. Just a bunch of weird het, incest and Harry/Ron/Hermione, I guess o_0

But anyway. I was reading TromboneBorges's `A Suitable Preparation', which is a good fic, nothing flashy or breathtaking, but solid-- and then Harry & Draco kissed, just like that. And suddenly, I saw stars. I flushed and I think I even got a little breathless. No, seriously. Dude. This is why I write (and read) this pairing. This is why. It's the only pairing that does this to me, in -any- fandom, man.

Am I just a freak? I dunno (well, I know I am, but). It's like, when Harry kisses Draco, I feel kissed. I feel infatuated all over again. I'm all wobbly knees and stupid grins and OMG HE REALLY LIKES HIM and. Dude, it's the good crack, yo.

So yeah, my mind likes stretching, but there's no passion in it. I don't write fanfic because it's an intellectual exercise, mostly-- then again, I don't write -anything- because it's purely an intellectual exercise, unless it's a gift for a friend, in which case it's also a labor of love. That's why writing really obscure pairings no one's written before baffles me-- I mean-- what's to be fannish about, there? Only the world, and the world doesn't motivate me like that. I mean, that's why I -began- writing fic-- because I was just so full of wow and guh and morepleaseohgodkisshimagainHarry.

I'm not even an H/D "shipper" in the plebey sense-- I don't buy into the "accepted fanon" of sexiness or whatever. I don't agree with a lot of shippers' interpretations of the pairing, I don't like a lot of fic, etc. But. Harry/Snape is hot sometimes, but in a very base way, and only when it hits those certain kinks. Medium-grade Harry/Draco slays me with a little kiss, man. I guess that's why I don't really identify with people who have heavy kinks they wanna see explored in fanfic of a specific pairing, say-- like, a certain sort of sex, interaction, what have you. I just. I'm not in lust. I'm in love.

Man, I (still) swoon at a smile.

EDIT -
Reading this article in the NYTimes about our ability (or really, lack thereof) to predict what will make us happiest, I realized that the thing in operation here is that H/D makes me happy. Now, this might seem simple and obvious, but the truth is-- don't we all seek out the things that make us happy? And maybe for some people, it's not the -H/D- that makes them happy in particular, but the slash, or the community, or the newness, or the-- whatever. And it doesn't make them happy after a while because we overestimate how long happiness lasts given any particular new and happy shiny thing.

And then there's the why I -write- H/D thing, and there's this quote from one of the psychologists in the article (George Leowenstein): ''Happiness is a signal that our brains use to motivate us to do certain things. And in the same way that our eye adapts to different levels of illumination, we're designed to kind of go back to the happiness set point. Our brains are not trying to be happy. Our brains are trying to regulate us.''

And yes-- I mean. Happiness is the signal, here. I am made happy, thus I write: it motivates me. I don't know, I think states of high emotion are the overall motivators for a lot of people's writing, but it's really very interesting how that works, psychologically speaking. And then we adapt to new and shiny things over time, yes. But what if we can find a shiny that keeps on giving? Wouldn't we cling to that shiny? I mean. That's what -I'm- doing, right? I'm clinging to my shiny~:))
~~

EDIT#2 - sigh. I'd forgotten how good Aja's smut was :(( waaah. Want moooore :((

Comments

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

*smirks* tell me the ep # & i'll see if i can find it on kazaa ~:))