....AHAHAH I HAVE ENEMIES!! >:O

[reenka]

omg..!..!..!!

I...I... I got slammed for a review!! *dies laughing* Oh. My. God...!..!! This is a first. And. Well, it's an old ff.net review of `I Understand' (which sucks a horrendous amount of ass, man, seriously, I'm not kidding about this), and some other reviewer (here) slammed me for it. AHAHAHAHA!!1

Okay, so I was a little harsh, but. Okay, I was really harsh, but it wasn't a flame, it was all like, "okay, what's -up- with this", and since I was like, "okay, some random ff.net person, who cares", I wasn't being as euphemistic as I sometimes am. I said what I thought, as usual, and it's just in this case I thought it needed a -lot- of work-- or thought-- or a beta. One or all of those things. And the other reviewer was like-- "you must not understand the concept of *fan*fiction", ahahaha. Also, "not like everyone has, wants, or needs a Beta reader"(!!!) Okay, so like... was I obnoxious and unconstructive? ...Not that I care (shock! horror!), but. I dunno. I thought maybe possibly it was helpful? I know that whole shtick about not saying anything unless I can say something good (too), but sometimes I get -tired- of that, man. Tired. To hell with it!

I just want to be honest, too (not that I lie with any review, really). I mean, she slammed me for saying things without balancing them and then she says, "you cannot say your fics are any better", not that I -did- say that. And then she's like, "you're going to make a lot of enemies by being so obnoxious".

AHAHAHA I AM OBNOXIOUS AND EBIL, HEAR ME PWOAR!!!11!!1


alright, um. i don't know -why- i'm reading this... i'm procrastinating, actually.
um. well, how to say this...

this is all horribly, horribly out of character-- snape, harry and draco, i mean.
er. well. this is a common mistake in fanfic-- making draco "good" not "evil", but... what's the point of writing about draco if you're going to cross out everything he ever was before and basically make him into a new chararacter? it's a play for the readers' (and harry's) pity, and it's sort of transparent. why would the reader -believe- that draco malfoy is no longer a horrible prat that can't stand harry potter? there needs to be a -reason-, otherwise it's pretty much drastically out of character, which makes it painful if you're looking to read about -draco malfoy- instead of someone with the same name and vague family history.

saying, "he was just pretending all this time" is the lazy person's device in this case because that way you don't have to show the character -evolving- to this point and you just -start- with where many a long fanfic had been written just to -get- to-- that is, draco's redemption, so to speak (ie, the Draco Trilogy). not -only- is he 'redeemed' here, he's a brave and good and heroic, too. and his mother is a martyr. you're totally continuing jkr's black-and-white good-and-evil stance except now malfoy's Good for apparently no reason except voldemort's Evil and so's his father and malfoy realizes the error of his ways. like a christian awakening maybe. except not at all.

this is seriously one of the worst offenders in this fanon cliche that i've ever seen. i mean, there are small things, too, like misspelled given names and hexes, (dumbeldore?? please. it's dumbledore. please. look it up. please.) and then there's things like snape being a wuss, too. he called harry -harry-, for god's sakes. do you realize that he -hates- harry? he only ever calls him potter. and canonically, harry hates snape -more- than draco. it's right there in the books! at the end of book 5, harry hates snape more than any other human being (i'm paraphrasing here). and harry doesn't hate this snape at -all-, even -without- any huge revelation like with draco. he feels -bad- because snape was -sarcastic-??

not to mention what you did to harry's character in general, in regards to draco as well. you write that draco wouldn't want pansy's "pity". well, what do you think you gave him from harry? it's pity. extreme, overwrought, pity-- draco was -crying-! like a -girl-! you think seeing someone you -hate- crying about how they're a poor little spy who watches his mother get raped will get harry to -like- that person? he knew -snape- was a spy but that didn't work there, did it. when you -hate- someone, you're -glad- they're in pain, and if you find out they're a spy, you're just -confused-, you don't suddenly -want to be their friend-. if he doesn't understand snape after more than a year, why would he understand draco after 2 seconds?

you should seriously think about your characterization choices, basically.

EDIT - ahahaha, she left me an Author's Note, ehehehe. o_0
~~

I don't mind being ebil, man. PH34R m3!!1 >:O!!
*dies laughing* Was that a flame? No, really? Oh god. I should take it more seriously. I was mean. I was bad. *weeps* Good!Slytherins are... good. Yes. Well, if they're written -well-, ahahahahah.
Goodbye, sweet-reputation. Goodbye. I won't miss you~:))

Also. Why are people always so jumpy? It's just a story. Just because you like it and I don't doesn't mean I suck because I'm wrong. I was just... brusque, but what it's to -you-, kind of. Sigh. Dude, I'm really not that picky, I'm really not. Crying!Draco and I-Can-See-What-A-Great-Boy-You-Are!Harry just PISS ME OFF, okay? Why can't I rant? Why do we only need happy!reviews. WHY GOD WHY?!?! *weeps* I can see how fanfic is necessarily OOC but it's not like there's no way to judge in-characterness because it's all the same, is it? I mean. How can anyone think all fanfic is created equal in that regard? And I was mean, okay, but still!

Okay, this was going to be friends-only, but then, in the Author's Note:
After all, she or he was criticizing MY story MY ideas and MY thoughts. I just couldn’t let that be.

...
All together now.... "ooooooohhhhh." I'm sorry, was I intimating someone's thoughts weren't holy & inviolate? Was I assuming any fiction can be critiqued by an outside standard? Was I exercising my right to free speech? That was not a flame, that was just a negative review, man. `Cause, we all know, FL4M3RS SUX0RS!!!11!1
    The thing that actually pisses me off here is the idea that I can't complain because the author can do whatever they want to the characters because it's "fanfiction". And you know what, that's true, except caring about a fic and having it be internally consistent is all well and good and enough if it wasn't fanfiction. :/ Ice Lupus said he knows what irritation is, but no, you don't know what HP-fic-reading irritation is until you've read a bazillion-trillion-gadzillion of them like I have. And well, I -know- when I see something original and that wasn't it. So I ranted. No need to say I don't know what I'm talking about here unless you've read a bazillion-trillion-gadzillion-and-one H/D fics :/ Everyone's entitled to their opinion, no? *grinds teeth*

*sits in corner, muttering to herself*

Comments

[cathexys.livejournal.com]

Why oh why are you entering the scary enemy territory that is ffnet??? Seriously, I am amazed you'd read let alone comment on this story. The first few sentences and I decided many things would be a better use of my time...

I'd laugh at the various attacks on you and the author's note.

Now, I totally understand why she'd be upset. I don't think "It's just a story." really explains the emotional investment many (most?) have in their fics. At the same time, her defense that it doesn't matter, b/c "it's only fanfic" is as old and tired as fanfic itself. But I've gotten to the point where I think there are two types of fan writers and the twain never shall meet (which is why I tend to avoid ffnet until someone I highly respect sends me there and even then 9 out of 10 times I will be disappointed).

For girls like your author, this is not about writing or becoming better writers or any of the stuff spare_change's posts with all these wonderful comments were about. It's a social thing to hang out with their friends and have fun. So you're spoiling their fun (and hurting their ego in the process)...

And I don't think you were too harsh...if anything, this story deserved worse criticism...but I think it's almost a discourse convention. And your and her world of fan fiction have little in common, I think.

[Though I thought the point that 'real' writers wouldn't write fanfic is both stupid and very insulting. I hate that supposed hierarchy and belittling of ff writers! Also, the insult on your stories. Yeah, right! LOL]

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know... er. I just forget, and I didn't care, but then they all -attacked- me and I didn't expect that. 'Cause dude, I wasn't attacking -her- (I don't even know her!), I was attacking her -fic-, and -they- attacked -me-. Which. Pisses me off -.-

I totally remember all those threads which say "some people don't want crit" and I understand that (I thought), but I guess I didn't. 'Cause well, -I- am pretty invested in my stories but anyone's free to tell me they're awful if you back it up with something. Anything. Hey, -I- think a number of them is awful. Them's the breaks. You get better. Maybe.

Yeah, I know... `discourse convention'... heh. That makes me smile~:) I usually don't get that harsh (and by usually I mean never), but I was pissed off and I guess I thought since I bothered to say anything, maybe she'd listen 'cause it is -I-! Reena! The Goddess of Crit!! ahahaha. No, I was just pissed off at the badness, I think; wasn't thinking. Wasn't expecting her to think that OOC-ness didn't matter. Didn't remember such people existed.

Actually, I mean-- I wouldn't say -anyone- (me in particular) writes 100% stellar oh-so-in-character fics anyway (so I see her point about "just fanfiction"), but some characterizations are worse than others. And. I did say, "without reason", which is to say, I didn't think there was enough reason. But eh. Thinking twice on it, I think she's either a) v. young; b) rather not as intelligent as she could be ><;;

I mean... I do it to have fun, too. Our definition of "fun" is obviously vastly, vastly different o_0
This is an old and tired argument, of course ("fanfiction is for the dogs!"). It's weird to be to even -write- it if you don't think it's important -somehow-, just because it's important to -you-. So yeah. Maybe I -should- shut up if I don't have anything useful to say to people with whom I don't know where they fall :/

[cathexys.livejournal.com]

I'd vote (c)...both of the above :-)

And yes, it's all about different definitions...and I had so much to say in a comment below that I took it to my own lj. hope you don't mind that I'm spreading your shame :-) (and by shame I mean reading ffnet stories, not getting flamed for a perfectly valid critique *bg*)

[mhari.livejournal.com]

I think that was a perfectly good review. Not a particularly nice one, but a good one.

Sometimes I think there should just be an option to turn off reviews, so if you're only writing as a group activity and you only want to hear from your friends who share your fanon, you don't have to put up with those pesky outsiders who also have opinions. [/mild sarcasm]

[cathexys.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but then you couldn't get all self-righteous and write 15 more reviews praising your friend and decrying the "flamer" *g*

[mhari.livejournal.com]

*snickers* right.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

*sighs* I think the idea of "helpful" doesn't even enter into some people's minds if it's not "what I want to hear". I'm guessing this has to do with self-esteem problems... or... something? :/

'Course, since I had -nothing- nice to say, it'd have been hard to be less harsh. But after reading a gazillion-and-one badfics, one just snaps, you know~:)

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Grrr. You know, why do they have a "review" function if you're not allowed to review? If somebody says, "Who cares?" in response to such basic things as Draco not being Draco, Snape not being Snape, and characters names not even being spelled correctly why are they wasting bandwith? They shouldn't even get a review board!

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Hehehehe. Dude. I have my army, she has hers.
TO THE FLAME-THROWERS!!! ARE YOU WITH ME, MY KINDRED?!?!
*dies laughing*

[sarahtales.livejournal.com]

reena, I am SHOCKED. Shocked and horrified at you.
How could you waste your time reading and then reviewing THAT? My God... don't do it. Your valuable neurons! I shudder to think...
But... why... write... it... and... say... the... characters... are... based... on... them... if... you... *aren't*... basing them on them?
WHY GOD, WHY? Oh, my poor lacerated brain. I remember ff.net... it hurts us precious. As for the reader who thought that fic was better than yours - Seriously. No. You! Off my planet!
I don't want to say that I feel superior to them, I just don't want them sharing my oxygen. Their brains cannot work like mine, how are they of the same species?
why, why does Draco cry? Draco crying is one thing that turned me RIGHT off a v. popular fic. Don't ask yourself these questions, Maya, they only torment you.
This is funny stuff, but you see I can't laugh because I read some of it and my brain feels all tender and scorched.
They react that way because they're crazy. They have to be crazy. Right? Right?
Oh God, the amount of badfic writers and readers in this world and I get so scared of being like them of ever ever touching that and... Hold me!

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

*holds you!*
I will protect you! No more ff.net-linking for moi!!1 heeeee >:D< You -are- on a different planet, you know~:) On a happy, happy gloriously people-who-actually-care-about-their-writing-so-they-improve-even-though-they're-already-brilliant planet ;))

Yeah, it's funny but then it's not. I mean, these dudes are -serious-, that's what's disturbing. I was just ranting a bit and then I felt better and thought, well hey, maybe she can use that bit of advice somehow (NEVER FOLLOW ONE OF SABER SHADOWKITTEN'S LINKS AGAIN, I TELL YOU!!).
ahaha no, they're not crazy, they're just plebes ;))
or like. they're um...... young? ghetto? *flails* mentally impaired?? ahahahah. yeah, we're just... different. *snorts*

[cathexys.livejournal.com]

I don't want to say that I feel superior to them, I just don't want them sharing my oxygen.

That's just too funny!!!

They have to be crazy. Right? Right?

No, just very, very young, I assume, and, as I said before, not so much interested in writing fan fiction as in writing stories where they can share their fantasies with their friends and they happen to be the cute guys from the movies...someone termed those bodyfics...

...ack.

[emeraldstorms.livejournal.com]

You know, I didn't think your review was a flame either. I read almost all the reviews, but I didn't read the fic. From what I've heard, it sucks. Poor Maya.

Anyway, there were quite a few people who said you were a flame, and didn't use very nice language... ;) ((e.g. stupid bint, idiot, etc.)) One person tried to explain it nicely to you, like you were a little ten year old who didn't know the meaning of fanfiction... (( Elfee, sweetie, you have to understand...)) I laughed. Hard.

One person did stick up for you though, named Melissa. And then the author apologized. That surprised me. But anyway, I agree with the OOCness. Usually you can tell if certain characters are meant to be in or out of character. Like in 'A Lot To Be Upset About'. You know Ginny isn't really like that. But when people want it in character and fail... its just so bad.

yikes.

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

[via cathexys]

See, this is why I dislike "review" boards at archives. A review is something aimed at other people to tell them why they should or should not read a given story. What "review" boards are generally used for is feedback, which is different.

Feedback shouldn't be public. I would never publicly post something like you wrote -- not that it shouldn't be said, just that I wouldn't do it publicly. And most people, faced with the choice of publicly saying something or not saying it at all, will either say positive things (whether deserved or not) or nothing. Which is really a disservice to the author, because if a story has real problems, the author should know about it.

I think that archives should not have public "reviews" unless they are real, quality-controlled review-type reviews, and they should make it easy for readers to send private feedback to authors.

And that's my (public) two cents.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Hmm. That's an interesting point, especially since it didn't occur to me to -email- some random ff.net person, because to me emailing takes effort and thought, ehheh. Whereas just clicking on the button and ranting takes no effort or thought. Which is sad but true. I've only ever sent two email-feedback responses to authors in all this time (a year and a half or so). I can see how public con-crit is... er... embarrassing, but -I- wouldn't mind it, so I don't -quite- know why other people do, though I understand it hurts their feelings. Then again, my feedback is usually rather tame.

I never say "I loved that", anyway. I always say why and give reasons and if there was a problem I usually say so-- mostly, I don't censor myself is what I mean. I mean it, I say it. Generally, I don't bother feedbacking authors who do nothing for me, but that particular characterization pissed me off, so I ranted. The one other time I did something like that, the author sent me a lengthy private email o_0

To me, it's not really a question of ego-stroking or ego-hurting-- it's all about the fic, and not about the author. I don't really consider what the -author- wants, I guess, which I suppose I should. It's polite, etc. But er... since I've never been really impolite (ie, I usually don't bother reading things I'd be impolite about), it's not really a problem so I can just spew. People tend to appreciate it. I'm not shy in this one solitary way, I guess. -.-

I mean, if I'm not slamming the -author- and just the -fic-, what's so embarrassing about it? Everyone has different opinions, it's the web, archives are semi-communal spaces, etc. I can see your pov, but it's just that it's not natural to me so I question it. I'd probably not email -any- reviews if I had to always email. But that's just me~:)

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

I'd probably not email -any- reviews if I had to always email. But that's just me~:)

No, it's not just you, which is why all these sites have these public review boards. But I have to say I prefer e.g. Ink Stained Fingers and the restricted section, which make it very easy to send the author email with one click.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Ah, I think this is where the fact that I don't have an email program comes in~:) In my public university computers -or- at home-- I use ssh... um... basically like telnet except secure, which means when I click on a "mail" button, nothing happens -.-
Also, I hate both Eudora and the idea of using Outlook (the evil must not spread!). Heh.

I shudder to think that at some point in my life I'd wind up having to use either or both. Woe.
But that's neither here nor there~:)

Email forms..

[unstasis.livejournal.com]

Since it's just sending the email to them, it could actually be essentially their server emailing it to them, and just plug your name in the reply-to space..

If ff.net wanted to they coudl have someone spend an afternoon or two and use a widget and figure how to get it to fit into their existing templates, I'm pretty sure. If they a a mediocre to low-grade web programmer they shoudl be able to handle it. You know there's all sorts of way's to connect emailing to a website other than, click on this link to invoke your mail program. Anyway. Yah.. Bt unless you want to laugh at the pain, from my 10 minutes perusing of ff.net, I'd treat it with much the disdain many people in the know think of aol.

Anyway..
groove on...

[ex-milkthist86.livejournal.com]

From Author's Note: ...and that it was horribly, horribly out of character. Well duh, how else was I going to get Harry and Draco together?

*dies* Was going to check out the fic for curiosity's sake, but after that...BWAHAHA! I think I can pretty much guess the quality of this thing. Your review was NOT a flame. It bothers me when a negative review is immediately constituted as such, and it bothers me even more that some people suggest that you have to start off with something positive in order for it to be "constructive." Constructive criticism is when you criticize specific aspects of a story in a thoughtful manner, and offers suggestions on how to improve on one's transgressions. This is -exactly- what you did. A flame is when someone simply states "I hate it!!!!" with no explanation, or insults the author outright, or whatever - the point is, you did not flame. The author feels personally insulted, and that is understandable. It's hard not to take negative comments to heart on something you've slaved over. However, instead of ranting about how you are wrongwrongwrong about her fic, she should think about what you said. Then again, with comments like the one up top, it probably wouldn't do any good anyway.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

*giggles* Thanks for the support, ahahah. I really wasn't traumatized but then they just kept on at me and it gets to you after a while, especially when they're like, "Okay you're dumb", when quite obviously I'm not. *preens*
ahahaha ;))
and dude, that part in the Author's Note definitely made me go o_0

I mean. There are just. No words. o_0

LOL!

[la-trix.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for the link to that story! I've never laughed so hard at a fanfic as I did at the following line:

"Malfoy’s walk upright he thought disdainfully, like we corncobs suck up our bums or something."

Oh. My. God. Still gets me, every single time.

It just baffles me how many positive reviews LMG got for this piece of trash. Then again, if they're anything like me, the readers who hated this fic didn't bother with a review, since there's just no constructive criticism possible for this one. I mean, it just plain sucks, and no beta can change that (unless they, you know, rewrite the damn thing).

Re: LOL!

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

oh... god. *laughs until she cries*
that is a classic. indeed.
*chokes*

corn...cobs.... ohgod....the visuals. *dead*

dude, -worse- things have -more- reviews on ff.net. it's like... yeah. it's ff.net is all i can say.
why did i read this? sometimes i'm just strangely masochistic, i guess -.-

Re: LOL!

[la-trix.livejournal.com]

I must be even more masochistic than you, considering I read it AFTER seeing your post and knowing it must be god-awful.

And, I hear you. The Site That Must Not Be Named bites the big one.

[veuki.livejournal.com]

*bursts out laughing*

So I spelled Dumbledore's name wrong. Big deal.

What a douchebag, yo.

[(Anonymous)]

Thirteen hear old girls should be forbidden of writing H/D slash. If I were you I'd be seriously pissed about all that, because besides writing horrendously they think they own the world.. PLease!

[starlitefaerie.livejournal.com]

The thing that actually pisses me off here is the idea that I can't complain because the author can do whatever they want to the characters because it's "fanfiction".

yeah, that's total bullshit. i can't stand that. i would love a review like yours, so precise and detailed and -yes, mean, but! with a purpose - helpful. people - some people- really don't understand the concept of fanfiction, hiding behind the "fan" aspect so that they can write things wildly, madly OOC. Preteen-assholes, man.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

hee. i kind of like cathexys's post (http://www.livejournal.com/users/cathexys/45289.html) about this where she says that basically there are two sorts of fans-- the ones who're doing this intellectually and the ones who just wanna hang out and scribble for fun, and the "twain shall never meet". i do think that not everyone cares about in-characterness and i mean, hey, that's their prerogative too. i was assuming she did care, but they really don't, which, you know. now i'll remember~:))

[starlitefaerie.livejournal.com]

you've learnt your lesson, you silly girl - thinkin' that people might want to improve as writers. rubbish.

[ex-cosmicfi.livejournal.com]

Dude. I've left one negative review on ff.net. Never again. All I did was point out that the some of the punctuation/grammar mistakes made parts of the story confusing. Then I suggested that the author get a Beta and try spell checking their chapters. And I put it all nicely, too. The next five reviewers all said something along the lines of "I don'tcno gramr mistakes." or "sumwrdsr missspeled but I still newwhat u meant." Which is why I no longer leave reviews unless *everything* I have to say is nice. And I don't review on ff.net at all anymore.

Stupid fuckers. :)

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

....
saying `stupid fuckers' a few times with an english accent makes me smile... a lot ~:))
eeee, thanks!!
...now I'm all happy~:))
you really cheered me up for some really strange reason. eh?
but yeay :D :D
also. it is very strange that you found me, but hello anyway~:)

...And yeah, I mean. I didn't -mean- to "review", I meant to rant, ahahahah. Which is different. Also, I would never have found the flames if I wasn't randomly looking at ff.net like I do once in a blue moon. It does annoy me when people don't appreciate my extreme helpfulness, but not enough to censor myself. 'Cause that'd actually take -effort-. hee.

*coughs*