~~ meme.

[reenka]

Harry: the boy who you realized in retrospect was quite interesting and intelligent and surprisingly funny and approachable; warm, even. who was actually maybe wanting you to come talk to him, who might have been your only friend that you'd needed so much when you were lonely-- but you were too shy and he was too self-enclosed and he never really -looked- at you and you were sure he didn't even know you existed because he was one of "those" people and you weren't.

Draco: everything you can't bear to look at-- too loud and annoying, the screech of nails down a blackboard, the horrible orange coats inner-city schoolkids wear, the blaring hip-hop audible from someone's walkman. you want them to -just shut up- and go away, and then when it does and you finally get blessed peace and quiet, you feel like you're more hollow and empty and you hate yourself a little for feeling like you want the noise.

Narcissa: white oleander and LA heat-- poison flowers and stifling humidity, women in lipstick that walk by on legs that are too long and smiles that stick to your skin uncomfortably, so that it hurts to peel them off, like bandages. you think you shouldn't be where they are, you don't belong there and you will simply never be that thin or have teeth that shiny.

Lucius: the shadow monster-- the father you hear about other people having, that never seems quite real because that is just too much-- too mean, too wealthy, too serious, too important and too powerful to be believed. your world can't include him and that helps you feel sane.

Hermione: everything you thought it may have been easier to be if you only let your mother have her way. you wonder if anyone's actually as perfectly disciplined and composed as this perfect daughter, and yet you think you could be her if only you cut out the part of you that dreams. she's like the self you refuse to be on principle, because it'd be both too hard and too easy at the same time.

Percy: those people in suits who are attractive and well-groomed and skinny, and you wonder if they actually are thinking all sorts of things they're not supposed to, if they're fucking their nieces and snorting cocaine on the weekends, at the same time as they're probably sitting on the subway with their legs crossed and their briefcase on their lap hiding their hardon except you think they must be impotent.

Ginny: the strong, singeing taste that always lingers in your mouth for hours after really good coffee. you kind of enjoy it, but you can't really taste anything else, and the awareness of it runs through all your thoughts for the whole time it's perceptible. it makes you remember silken nightgowns and being a virgin and thinking the first time you fucked was going to be a revelation of forever, right before it all came crashing down.

Ron: some people you would never talk to, but they make you smile a little just being in the same room with them, because they're unaware how blatant they're being, and how everyone knows it but them.

Lupin: autumn and the unexpected blooms in it-- the remaining berries on the bushes, the soft, fuzzy reeds by the swamp, the tiny wildflowers on the moss spreading across large, damp rocks. cool, quiet places in the forest, with the scent of pine and earth and large, pretty-looking mushrooms. if you ate the mushrooms, you would die a slow, unpleasant death.

Sirius: an old, tattered leather jacket, with all sorts of punk-rock press-ons, that make you feel like you'd never be that cool and you'd never feel that much anger and you'd never live that intensely but you know you want to. you want to touch it, but it has such a sense of -personality- about it that it's more intimate than touching someone's thigh.

Lord Voldemort: the sort of cold, biting wind that gets under your clothes, makes you want to walk backwards just so not even your nose has to touch it, just so you could stop being that miserable even for one minute.

Snape: something smooth and polished-- like waxed wooden floors, with all sorts of barely glazed-over cracks and scratches, that look horribly old and pock-marked if you look just a little bit closer, but shine so much with lamplight on them. you always wanted those floors, but you're afraid to move carelessly because nothing you do on them goes unmarked.

Hagrid: those elderly people who are too kind to you-- you don't know why, but they're always smiling at you and calling you "honey" and saying hello when they see you. you assume they can't possibly be -that- cheery, so maybe there's just something about you you can't figure out. you never really know, and one day they're not there at the spot they always were, and you find out they died 3 months ago.

Tom: you think there must be a poison that kills while making you more intensely alive for those few moments than you had been your entire life. you think maybe it's not just in fairy tales that black roses hold the life-force of doomed princelings, and maybe you -can- save love from death and touch the fairy gold at the tail-end of starlight, except you know you can't, and it's all just a lie the shadows whispered to you as you were half-asleep and fragile like a child again.

Cho Chang: that girl who'll grow up right and wrong at the same time-- at thirty-five she'll be wearing pearls and sensible heels, her lipstick will only smudge a little, and her smiles will still be kind and just a little sexy. she doesn't look like a mother even though she is, and she wears perfume that's entirely too strong. you never see a wedding band on her finger, and she always seems to have somewhere else to be. you're glad she's not -your- mother.

Comments

[ztrin.livejournal.com]

Not dorky at all, just - gah. The Harry one is spot on: full of the quiet sincerity of him but just so untouchable all the same. And Snape, the Death-Eater mark, as if nothing that he goes through can ever be masked, so he hides them in full view. <33333 A fic all by itself.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

*smiles* man, i just re-read that and some of those are really.... er. off. (the cho one kind of scares me, actually).
but thanks so much, 'cause well, if you like it it must have redeeming values (and i've been being paranoid about not having written fic in awhile so i'm like, "wah, what if i've gotten all rusty" ... yeah) ><;
<3