~~rambling as usual about fanart & smut. mmm, a match made in heaven -.-

[reenka]

gahhhhh. i hate me, hate me, guiltguiltguiltguiltGUILT! i am having guilt issues for no good reason. but i am having them anyway!!

where does the time go? where do the cows fly? why am i lonely? why am i making up stupid lyrics in my head? I DON'T KNOW!

it's easter break right now and i have turned into a fruit. okay, i was always a fruit. but now i'm also a vegetable, maybe. perhaps. i was working on my stupid fanfic page today, cuz snitchfiction is down, down, down. and it's getting -me- down. it's just not good. so yah.

i have a gazillion people whose fics i want to read (and of course, the feedbacking would be natural if i read them). i'm like, "they think i'm snubbing them and i'm a bad, bad evil person". obviously, i have issues, because, well. i have work to do and if i can barely get -that- done, well. i'm writing this now and not When I Have Done My Work because i read addictedkitten's post and she inspires me to ramble. it's not, "hear me roar" and it's not "hear me whimper". it's, "hear me mumble!!"
    so yah. lots of links to fic postponed till tomorrow, not that anyone cares. meep.
~~

also, let me just say............ holy fuck..!!
O_o
someone paid like, a year (a year! a year! someone wants more of this for a -year-??! *boggles*) of this lowly journal, and. i'm speechless, really. bowled over. have been sputtering in awe for the last 2 hours or so. i'm just staring at the email and going, "whuhhh--?"
    *gulps*
    i am... to say i'm grateful and amazed and maybe slightly frightened doesn't even cover it. i mean. yeah.
    so. THANK YOU, oh beneficent amazing (anonymous!) benefactor! you have my everlasting awe and whatever ficlet/drawing you want, just name it and i'll do it. really! anything! i'll write ron/draco if you so desire! *laughs* whoever you are, oh unsung hero of worthiness and kind regard, i prostrate myself in humble gratitude.
    *giggles* don't mind me, i just don't know what to say, so resort to silliness. just. wow. you rock hardcore, whoever you are. wow. wow. i don't know -why-, but. yah. just. i feel special now. *laughs* no, really. okay, i'll shut up.
   and again, WOW!!
~~

in other news of rather hardcore rockitude, i was watching `days of our lives' (hey, it was on in the dining hall, i had no choice..!) and. omg, i slashed `days of our lives'. and lemme tell you, i slashed it hard.
    
i was... i was... i don't know who they are, but they need to have a really really really large amount of sex. right now. where i can watch. (and yes, i think i'm channeling sara all of a sudden).
    it was an argument between these two "rugged" types in leather jackets (i know, i know), and they were this close, and one was grabbing the other's collar(!!!) and growling, and let's just say-- visual orgasm. i was like, KISS ALREADY, YOU ASSHOLES!! (except not out loud, because, you know, there's a limit to how exhibitionist i am. i -think-.)

i so understand why people slash tv more than books. because, holy fuck, indeed. it's sinful for some of these people not to be kissing. sinful. SINFUL. they need to have sex, pronto. and i mean-- there's so much sexual tension i think even someone's really straight 90-year-old gramma could've felt it. *breathes*
    they were angry, they were male, they were over-dressed. most definitely. waaahhhhh. mmmmm. i have the most insane urge to read/write prison-sex fic. and that is just wrong, but HOT. *cries* omg. omg. there's a cliche that hasn't been explored (for h/d). omg. harry & draco are trapped together in wartime. some renegade faction of death-eaters (post-hogwarts), not connected to voldemort. draco is a free agent, and is captured along with harry. all kinds of riff-raff, horrible conditions, someplace dingy and dirty underground. they're kept in some sort of facility, where their magic is being harvested and used for some Evil Purpose. harry & draco have a cell together. sex ensues. and more sex. and also, sex. but like, it's all angry and they blame each other for what happened, and they're being all alpha-males fighting for something-or-other. yes. so it's like, they fight and yell and eventually of course they have to fuck. a lot. so yes. happy place.
    and uummmmm, yes, it might go something like this. wah. julad = goddess, i don't care -which- fandom. and i can't believe i just recced `sentinel' smut. oh god. -.- sara would like it, though :D and yes, that is exactly it, yes, exactly.
~~


the special ability of good smutfic is to make you wonder what those people who say they skip sex-scenes are talking about, really. i mean, sex-scenes can be such an unmitigated, delightfully honest pleasure. there is nothing tedius or boring about sex-- if written well, of course. in fact, few things are as dramatic and intense emotionally and get one's adrenaline (at least) pumping as much. one could even go so far as to say every multi-chaptered romance fic should have smut in it, just because smut is a Good Thing.

saying this, i realize i'm leaving out the literary value altogether and quite clearly, it can easily come back and bite me on the ass. more precisely, there is such a thing as Bad Smut. yes, that strange yet commonly experienced phenomenon, where supply cannot meet demand, and therefore bad smutfic writers take up the load, so to speak, much to my disappointment. so maybe i would say-- smut! smut! write! now!-- if only i didn't remember that most of it is horribly bad. of course, most writing is bad too, but few things are as uniquely painful as bad porn. sigh.

wankfic bothers me, the very existence of it. not because i have something against wanking, but merely because if it's a -good- wankfic, it shouldn't be called "just" a wankfic. it's erotica-- but more importantly, it's good fiction. sex is just as valid a thing to write about as eating or sleeping or crying. if we read about break-ups and cry, how is that different from reading about someone being taken up against a wall and wanking? arousal is emotional-- or is more intensely real if emotional-- just like any other "legitimate" reaction to a fic. so i guess, if it's turning you on, it must be doing something right.

anyway, i suppose you could think of `fighting silence' as a wankfic. but it wouldn't interest me if it wasn't written with a punch, and its dialogue had no life. of course, the writing is part of the pleasure. i've think that visceral pleasure can be and is connected to literary, more abstract pleasure-- they're all forms of pleasure.
    i suppose if you're telling a story, you don't have the license to just have lots of sex 'cause of all the "plot" you want to have (theoretically). my problem here is rather personal. it doesn't feel as intense, as real and emotionally involving as it possibly could, if the people in love aren't also in lust. and if they're in lust, you can bet they'll be jumping each other at every opportunity, if they're young especially. and if you have the -love- and tenderness and passion described, but not the lust, you're just going to not be realistic, i think, and lose part of that connection as i see it. i remember what it was like to be 16. i remember thinking about sex virtually all the time. i thought about other things, too, but really. hormones. yes. hormones are fun. and hey, plot shouldn't be the evil overlord in a fic, right?

there's always room for porn, i say. ahahahah. yes, that is my very in-depth conclusion :D
~~


completely unrelatedly to anything, this is probably my favorite lucius picture, -ever-. whoah, baby.

and. OH MY GOD I AM SO I LOVE WITH THIS PICTURE, I WANT TO HAVE ITS GORGEOUS H/D BABIES!!! glockgal's brilliance blinds me and i think i don't want to sully my vision with a lesser ideal of harry & draco ever again!! *cries* that is just. just. I ADORE IT SO MUCH I THINK I COULD DIE WITH PLEASURE!!

found jock love, a site for er... quidditch boy-love fanart. holy fuck people, this is... wah. i'm dead, dead, dead-- overloaded with the pretty, and it's not h/d pretty so i'm feeling pretty damn dirty right now, but. what a way to go. rooooowr!!...!!..!! o_0
    and, mistermaki colored her harry, who is now looking almost painfully hot. wah.

also found 1, 2, 3 sketches by alice, who is goddess. only works if you copy-then-paste the address. number 2 has the most romantically pretty draco ever. mmmmmrrr, fanon!draco in all his glory. and blindfolds. and harry-lips. why yes, this picture is sex. heee.

and eeeeeee! on eddy's cuteness! for ivy's `dandelion'! with the domestic! and the harry! and the draco! and the divaness! and the wrist. THE WRIST, dammit! *dead*
    not to -mention- glockgal's and babyjami's doodles recently. gah. crazy draco, how i luuuurve thee <333

EDIT - why oh why am i so easy when it comes to art?? one gorgeous, amazing, beautiful, sexy ron/draco by marta and there i am. a puddle on my chair. *cries* life isn't fair. but hey, at least i'm still smiling :D
~~
and, just in case any of you are down over the last smallville episode, either read thamiris' post or look at this. eheheheeh!! theirloveissocreepy :D

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

sex is just as valid a thing to write about as eating or sleeping or crying.

THANK YOU. It took me forever to convince my best friend of that. And I wasn't talking about smut, mind you, I was talking about ordinary books that had sex scenes in them. For some reason, despite being very well-red, she'd managed to reach the age of 15 without ever having read a sex scene. She said that she didn't see why they could ever be necessary in books, and that they couldn't be used to advance the plot or characterisation. I disagreed strenuously, of course.

[lasultrix.livejournal.com]

And somehow I managed to get signed out posting that comment. How very weird.

[lasultrix.livejournal.com]

Oh, and while I'm spamming your LJ... hey, enough with feedback guilt! *pets* Nobody's going to get upset and "Reena hates me/is ignoring me" if you don't review everything they write! Well, let's see, unless they're saying "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, REENA, I STAYED UP FOR THREE NIGHTS STRAIGHT TO WRITE THIS FOR YOU!" perhaps.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

i know, but i was being really hyper so i was spouting off and like. yah. everyone knows i'm a spazz, right?

'cuz, i mean. i just. yah.

*hides*
*giggles*
and here i thought i had weird anonymous readers that watch my lj religiously ;) *giggles*

[lasultrix.livejournal.com]

There are, you know. There always are.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

*chokes*
.....


you know, you're scaring me ><

*looks around*
WAAAH. IT'S THE SILENT ONES!! THEY ARE WATCHING...!
okay, enough coding, i need sleep -.-

[(Anonymous)]

We are the Silent Ones. We watched others before you came. We will watch others when you are gone. But for now... we watch you.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

*cries*

YOU PEOPLE ARE MEAN :P

gaahhh.

~easily-suggestible!reena

[starlitefaerie.livejournal.com]

*pats reena on the head like a child*

poor dear. you'll be okay.

[addictedkitten.livejournal.com]

Haha! My post inspired you to talk about porn. Right on. And then you channelled me, and then recced me Sentinel porn. *eyes you* What's that about, eh?

You seem to want to write porn. I encourage this, but I imagine you knew that.

if we read about break-ups and cry, how is that different from reading about someone being taken up against a wall and wanking?

Hey, you know what? You're fucking cool. In case I haven't told you that lately. Cos like, right the fuck on. I feel that. I think everyone should read this, because it's true, a lot. And then they can all go write porn.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

*laughs* well, if -everyone- wrote porn, it's not quite as happy as one would hope. have you seen nifty.org? because, yah -.-

and you know, i -could- just mean i want to -appreciate- good porny literature (ahem) instead of writing it-- meaning i'd need someone -else- to write it. :D
someone like you!
also, i figured that the sentinel bit had angry sex and walls and slight non-con issues... what can i say, it made me think of you. *laughs* and i mean that in the best way possible >:D

[unstasis.livejournal.com]

Of course if everyone wrote porn would it still be porn?

Isn't porn writing writing about writing more extremely about sex than normal, instead of just writing about sexuality (erotica?)?

If that's the case, if everyone wrote porn into everything they did (the 12 year old boy's letter home to his grandma say having "porn" elements.. Then would one have to talk about more pornish things to be noticed to have a tingle above the background? Where is the story about one's "first kiss" and what happens after that..

Okay I'm getting silly now..

Hee?

I guess I get boggled when I try gettting beyond the a certain level.. I guess it seems like maybe larger numbers of people accessing the porn regions of their writing talents isn't as good as a general deepening in the level of intensity.. So that that would naturally flow into a more gripping, bniting tearing, empathetic, sensual experience in writing..

But I suppose just everyone writing a bit more pornlike would be a start in the loosening up process..

Speaking of which, since my mind has been babling without huge amounts of comments a bout one tiny silly funny point I saw.. I guess I should now pop out...