~~inane plebey mutterings.

[reenka]

aja recced orphne's latest fic just now, and i can tell it's fluff, and i cannot bring myself to read it, honestly. naturally, i think this will pass, it will (and soon), but... having spent so much time debating canon!draconess with salazaar which all started from me making a questionable response to her h/d fic, `blue water' (which is, you know, really good, btw). but it's just weird. finding myself kind of... cringing, thinking of reading about cute-snarky-boy!draco (or harry) right now. sigh. it's not anyone -else-, it's me. i feel vaguely guilty for all my cuteosity. so... pink. so... overly sentimental. it makes me want to scream and write fic about disembowelment and paaaaain. except, you know, not. i mean, ok... not disembowelment. say... just... er... something unsentimental. something... really really er... not romantic. that's er... admirable, isn't it? sentimentality is for weak-minded house-wives, right? maybe that, or 13-year-old girls who've never had a date. i mean, ok, i -was- that way not -that- long ago, but..... *sigh*

i know it seems to make no sense that i'm a plebe if i'm all meta-obsessed, but what good is meta if you're a dork about it? if you use it for Evil, Not Good? if you use it to justify your pre-adolescent fixation on fairytale romance and Twue Wuv of the `princess bride' kind? guh.

oh, the angst i could have about fluff. oh the angst. and mind you, i don't want to read angstfic right now, either. no, i think i want something "serious", eheheh. "realistic". "canonical"?? hah.
    but, you take what you can get. namely, i was v. excited about a story idea (that i can't really -do-, but can imagine) last night. i even scribbled furiously about it in my school notepad, as the band played on. because yes, it's about harry, draco, hermione, and ron in a band, ahahahaha. just how lame is that?? but i loved it. you don't even have a clue how much i dug it. i -still- dig it. it's like the best idea ever, i swear. all claims that i'm not a plebe are hereby forfeit, but i don't -care-. damn, but i loved thinking of it being harry & draco up there, instead of the actual blond and dark-haired dude, by the mikes. it was... pretty heady. but anyway.
    
you're all going to think this is stupid and lame, but i don't care. we have "late nite" band and movie weekend stuff in our student union. and. the band. oh god. it was/is weird folksy indie rock-- african drums, guitar, bass, drums, flute, keyboards. and. you know where i'm going here, don't you? damn. damn. yes. yes!

let's just say, the guy on guitar is tall, blond, slim, prince-like. need i go on?? i smell an au. i smell the most kick-ass au i've ever heard/thought of. mmmmm. and even-- even-- not au. even not. oh, holy god. do you have any idea how sexy this is in my head? yes, ok, cliche, fine. but. if done right. if. oh, god, hermione on keyboards. ron on drums. draco on bass (fuckfuckfuck), harry singing (draco singing back-up).
    them singing together is posibly sexier to me than actual -smut-. more than swordfighting. more than quidditch. just. the way it is in my head. god.

i'm writing this longhand, as i listen to the band. the guy looks so much like draco i think i could die. he's wearing a simple black longsleeved t-shirt and dark grey trousers. god. harry-- plain short-sleeved white t-shirt and jeans.
    draco. harry. singing in harmony. to each other. i could -die-. again, and again.
    i can't write it-- not my area of expertise. but. god.
    and the other singer has a black mop of hair and i'm not kidding. and the new-yet-old dynamics-- and just-- the way music brings emotions to the surface and transforms them, changes them into something purer, more intense.

i know people (aja-- *poke*-- are you, still?) were writing theatre-based fics, but this is even more emotional and intense and sexy (to me anyway). just-- say you take totally in-character draco and put him on the stage-- what would happen? give harry is right there with him, singing? or also, just playing guitar (but no, someone has to sing, and i say it has to be both of them, at one time or another).

we all know about the slashiness that happens within bands-- spending all that time together, traveling together, going through all those emotional times on stage (and off) together. mmmmm. but, this idea would be -very- easily messed up if done by some plebey teenager. or even me. but. someone who knew what they were doing. oh-- my-- fucking-- gahd.

    encore.
    them alone. spotlight on stage. no accompaniment but their own acoustic guitars, and harry's hands on the drums. sitting on stools, facing each other. no mikes or amplification. a dark room. eventually, the others slowly easing in with the soft acoustic back-up. am i the only one? who can virtually -taste- this (well, ok, i -am- sitting right there, watching them, but.)

oh, nevermind. just. yes.
    why has no one done it? it'd be their last year, probably need voldemort dead (probably). but i could see fifth and sixth, too. oh god. oh god.
    mmmm. hermione could be in a black t-shirt & jeans too. with a boy-cut. mmmmm. not necessary of course. and sometimes, ginny would dance some and do the stevie nicks thing. oh. so in love. i'm so in love with this. *siiiiigh*
    harry on drums is just too sexy for words. or guitar. i think he'd go for both, at different times. malfoy would do keyboards sometimes, though mostly bass.
    i could see him doing flute if hermione sang, or maybe harry too. all wistful and sort of slow. draco's hair falling into his face, sticky with sweat, as the spotlight dances across him. his thin, boney fingers moving across the strings quickly, oh-so-quickly as he nods his head slightly. all of them tapping, jerking in time to the beat, the flute breathing lightly and then tapering off.
    losing inhibition, all of them jamming. looking sideways at each other and smiling.

flash to their last show, last day at hogwarts.
    they all look sad and happy and free. draco seems somewhat apart, in the shadows, still. harry is going wild on his guitar, like there is no tomorrow. draco glances at him once or twice through his fringe, blowing it away, and you can't quite tell in the semi-dark, but maybe his mouth curls up at one corner. ron is grinning all out, looking straight at hermione, who's biting her lip in concentration and sticking her tongue out a little.

harry is playing/singing while half-turned towards draco, half the time, without seeming to realize it. he's not looking at him but he seems to be singing to him, about flying and freedom and leaving the past behind.
    "i just fly, fly away/ could i know/ could i be/ could i love."
    or singing something else entirely.
    the flute dances and simmers between their words, still. draco turns towards harry more, swiveling his legs on his stool. "just fly away," he sings along. maybe the band name would be "the green and the red". or not.
    harry has a soft, velvety singing voice, clear and gentle and haunting like the flute. they sing with their eyes closed, by the end. they sing about hope, healing, and the future, and happiness. their knees are touching as they harmonize. there is just that moment, and nothing outside it, before or after. just that moment, when everything comes together and it's safe to fall apart......
~~

also, shakespearechic made me realize `the riddle' is a great h/d song, heh. it is! yum. *adds to collection*
    btw. the piece i'm most invested in writing right now (as always, of course, the last thing i'd written a sentence for), is a lucius/narcissa. oh, i'm so evil :D

and oh. all those of you who miss my not-so-brilliant sketches, i drew one of counting!draco for hoshistar's drabble~:)

Comments

[thegraybook.livejournal.com]

*amused* oh, reenka, just read what you want to read for goodness sake, There is nothing wrong with fluff, it has its place. This is not a commentary on your discussion about Draco-canonicity, because I haven't read it, but just in general, people seem to think that for something to be meaningful or any good, it also must be Depressing and Full of Woe and Pain. It is just as possible to be completely self-indulgent with angst as it is with fluff or humor or straight up gen, and usually easier.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

hee ^^
thanks. i er... do tend to feel more self-indulgent myself when -reading- any sort of endorphine-producing stuff than er... thought-provoking or tear-jerking stuff. i mean, i don't -seek out- things to upset me (i guess some people do, but those people are... er... not me).

but oh yah, can't stop reading it, and tend to think my opinion is what matters in the end, so i keep pigging out, while sometimes wibbling about how i should be doing something more "meaningful" an "useful". of course it being fanfic at all, is already a large detriment from the ...reading your lit professor would recommend dept.

not that that was -ever- the sort of thing i read. well, maybe back when my mom set my reading list ><
but thanks :D
hee. sometimes i get tired of being all meta and "intellectual" (or rather, sometimes i just act like the wibbly dork i am), though the image does hound me and i sometimes am tempted to "live up to it", whatever that means.

guh. it's scary, really, how seriously one could get out of touch with the actual dorky roots of all fanfic everywhere :D

Depressing and Full of Woe and Pain!!!!

[salazaar.livejournal.com]

*laughs and laughs and laughs*

Actually, my only criteria for a good fic is the smut.

There is plenty of excellent fluff out there (like Rachael's or some of Aspen's fics) and excellent humor as well (like Durendal's). Yes, angst when folks like Penelope do it is fabulous, but that doesn't mean everyone has to. Let a thousand flowers bloom, Reenka! As long as the emotions are real and the writing avoids cliches (narrative, stylistic, characterization, whatever), it's good writing in my book. I have my own idea of what canon is, but I gave up that battle a long time ago.

I mean, the world does not need any more HP disembowelment fics! I just can't help writing them, but I'm getting help for it, I promise.

*hugs*
*runs off to read Draco/Snape spanking stories. hooray!*

Re: Depressing and Full of Woe and Pain!!!!

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

hee!
wah. i get to be oversensitive too, don't i? :D

but yes. i agree, of course. obviously, i adore humor/smut/angst and all good writing in its myriad incarnations, ic or not. i mean, if i want -truly- ic fic i'd read jkr. and i can't really... er... enjoy jkr, all that much. eek. probably right up there with my least favorite hp fanfic authors (and look, no names!! i'm improving!! ahahahaha)

<-- so sensitive :D

sometimes my -extreme- preference for er... romanticism and happy-sexy endorphin rushes bothers me. it's not that i'm saying the fluff or angst fic itself is "better", but rather my own addiction to the "good vibrations" disturbs me. i realize i contradict myself-- i mean, i defend the virtue of smut and humor and everything in-between and sideways that's well-written all the time, but... i still have that little bit of me that thinks i'm wasting my time with fanfic in general, forget feel-good fluffy smutfests, y'know? hee.

that said, i'm too hedonistic to really ever stop or feel all -that- bad. because you know, if i like it, means it's good :D