there most definitely is something wrong with "raven-haired teenager."
however, it could be worse.
it could be: "raven-haired, slim, and alabaster-skinned young man" translated: "black-haired teenager"
or try this: "He stirred the sunset-colored liquid in his delicately-crafted amber-hued goblet carefully and turned sparkling emerald eyes to rest lightly 'pon the alabaster-skinned face of Draco Malfoy, who was reclining aristocratically at the green tableclothed dining area of the Slytherins." translated: He stirred his pumpkin juice (?... sorry, I don't know why he is stirring his pumpkin juice...) and stared at Draco Malfoy, who was sitting at the Slytherin table.
See. Description is ok. But we like readable. Since, after all, we are attempting to read. ;P
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2002-12-13 12:57 am (UTC)however, it could be worse.
it could be: "raven-haired, slim, and alabaster-skinned young man"
translated: "black-haired teenager"
or try this: "He stirred the sunset-colored liquid in his delicately-crafted amber-hued goblet carefully and turned sparkling emerald eyes to rest lightly 'pon the alabaster-skinned face of Draco Malfoy, who was reclining aristocratically at the green tableclothed dining area of the Slytherins."
translated: He stirred his pumpkin juice (?... sorry, I don't know why he is stirring his pumpkin juice...) and stared at Draco Malfoy, who was sitting at the Slytherin table.
See. Description is ok. But we like readable. Since, after all, we are attempting to read. ;P