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reenkai've always had a strange little fascination with agape, and the greek ideal of unconditional love. usually, i don't get to -apply- it to anything, or play with it, or think about how it works or its uses, because frankly, no one seems to write about it, which is a crying shame, let me tell you. it has so many possibilities for drama and conflict and darkness and redemption and all sorts of good stuff. so, it is with great pleasure that i wrote this post for `armchair slash', ruminating on the ramifications of agape for harry & draco in Draco Veritas.
a number of you may think it's stupid to be going on and on about the stupid Trilogy, and i hear you, i do. but there is no equally conducive fic in the fandom i can sink my teeth into, here. and right now-- well, right now you're having the crucible in which their burgeoning unconditional love will be refined-- betrayal, shock, secrets, discoveries, death, life and so on.
but you may say, aren't i into harry/draco for eros and for what might almost be called anti-love, hate, etc? i mean, they -hate- each other, in canon, let us just say, why in the world do i need them to love each other unconditionally?
well, um, naturally this is what the power of love is all about. it doesn't feel all that interesting to tackle the easy, `natural' things, that happen of their own accord, that come swiftly and that last because nothing is confronting them and trying to make them wilt. what really grabs my attention is agape that is borne of darkness, that flowers in spite and -because- of darkness, a beautiful flower born from the crucible of hatred and despair.
i am interested in the idea of Mercy, forgiveness, the absolvement that comes not from letting go of sin, but from staring it straight in the eye, confronting it, not backing down yet not losing a shred of your humanity and love for the person (yourself or another), irrespective of their potential for destruction and stupidity and so on. i think my lucifer/adam story is close to my heart largely because i actually tried to tackle this theme, and i don't usually actually attempt to address the issues important to me in my fics, which i suppose is a problem ><
so i went in search of good definitions of agape, and found this, which does a pretty good job, really, at forgoing the more goopy religious aspects of this idea, and focusing on it in an academic manner.
not to say i insist on seeing agape in a non-spiritual way, but i think confining it to the realm of fluffy christian lore and the sort of emotion best left to god or something, is not doing justice to the idea. when you confront darkness, when you are face to face with the demons within yourself and the one you love, when you realize that you can love someone in spite of their weaknesses, perhaps even more than you thought you did before you understood-- this is the genesis, the crux of why i see romantic love between two people as a valid path to enlightenment and personal growth & change.
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ethrosdemon said, i can't remember where, that it's unlikely that a teenage love would be enough to turn draco malfoy from the path set out before him since birth, of evil and darkness and service to voldemort, ultimately. and i can see the reasonableness in this-- when has `teenage love' overcome years of indoctrination, constant exposure to cruelty and deceit and fear ruling over intellect or compassion, and so on.
what this ignores is that i don't see harry & draco's relationship in the light of a (probably brief) tryst between two horny teenagers. that is truly unimportant and not worthy of my attention-- though i would still squeal and be all giggly about it. the reason it actually captures my imagination, the reason i write about it and the reason i believe in it, is because i see them as archetypes, as representations of some basic emotional patterns that can interact with each other and combine in ways that complete and challenge and ultimately, transform each other.
and yes, if the full power of both of their potential selves were unfurled and were to interact, they would change, and it would be enough. love would be enough.
in a way, this is why i -really- don't `ship any other pairing that involves either of them. i truly see this, i truly see this sort of spiritual journey they could take together, and to me it's laughable to imagine caring about some little cutesy fling they could have with someone else. who cares if they could be happy with someone else? what i'm going for here is complete revolution, and you can't convince me this is possible with any other combination. not the same way. because as they are made, as they are structured, they are -opposites-, and equals in that respect.
everything that harry is, draco isn't. now this says nothing good about draco, granted. but imagine if there were also things that draco -was-, that he could -become-, that harry also needed to face, needed to understand. not just -fight- and internalize, the way he fights voldemort, not just resent, uncomprehending, like maybe with snape. what if there was someone he could neither internalize, really deal with, or ignore. what if there was someone who could take equally, just as he gave?
i may be addicted to little schoolboy-crush!h/d stories, but what i'm looking for is of mythic proportions. this is clark & lex, at their most exalted, although with clex you get the weight of the inevitable future hanging over their heads (ok, plus the show isn't all that good-- but then, the books aren't all that good, so what am i complaining about).
when we casually say, "they're like yin and yang" about two people, we don't usually think of the full ramifications, i don't think. especially if one isn't looking at it in a, "my -god-, they're so -different-, the sex would probably blow the roof away" sort of way. of course, this gets into the whole can of worms that is the relationship between eros and agape, and which is my other great source of interest in the concept.
you could-- and people have, in fact-- say that if harry & draco (or, by extension, anyone else) did achieve agape, eros would be contradictory to their relationship, may actually ruin it in some way. this isn't actually -stupid-, because it does have its roots in the definitions we give to eros and agape respectively. again, i would be lost here without my trusty summary of various philosophical takes on it.
after all, eros -wants-, craves, and needs the Other as a balm to oneself, as a part of oneself that one isn't willing to set free. agape, on the other hand, gives and understands and forgives and needs nothing but the continued existence of the beloved object. there are many ways in which these concepts can be found incompatible, and i'm sure i don't need to list them since people have thankfully done it for me time and again. what i find interesting is the ways in which eros and agape can co-exist, or exist in conjunction with each other-- imperfectly, but in a lasting manner.
in fact, i would say that the insane, crazy ideal of Romantic Love in its most exalted form would be this ridiculous, yin/yang combination of agape and eros.
basically what you're adding to the mix here is Ego, which is a dangerous, highly reactive substance liable to go off at the slightest provocation. wanting, craving, longing, how is that supposed to mix with their very opposites? um. i think the secret may actually be self-love in conjunction with love of the Other. if you truly accept yourself through the eyes of the Other, and if you accept the Other as different than you, as fallible, as prone to misjudgment and as being likely to actually hurt you-- and you don't need to approve-- still you love them unconditionally, based merely on their beauty & value of their `essence'.
a factor that is definitely currently at work in DV!harry&draco and more obviously and naturally in their usual dynamic is the -veil- that separates them, the lack of knowledge or understanding. it is important to keep this veil, this barrier against complete understanding and perhaps merging with the other, in order for the delicate alchemy of romantic/sexual love to remain alive between them. you make it thinner and thinner in order to -change- them, to transform them, but hopefully it remains in place, because this is the source of their raw tension, their attractive force-- it's their separateness, the central mystery.
i found this great reference to kierkegaard in an article about the function of the physical and psychological `veil' in stimulating and sustaining desire. to quote:
``The veil turns an individual personality into a type, protecting sexual desire by homogenizing and dehumanizing its target. This depersonalization is, in effect, also an idealization and hence a protector of desire."
there is definitely a delicate balance of knowledge and mystery required to achieve a successful, lasting fusion between polar opposite personalities/types (like harry & draco, of course). and gahd, do i sound like i'm writing a paper or what??
i'm probably being picky in wanting agape to be combined with eros (ie sexuality), but in all honesty i don't see how harry & draco could achieve agape -without- sexuality unless you had some sort of shortcut plot-device like, oh, say, mind-melding :D
um, not that i'm actually saying i have a clue as to how actually work this, you know. i just have faith that it's possible to have a relationship where eros and agape combine, and of course i can no more draw a map to that destination than the next quack, and if i could, i'm sure i'll be making millions writing self-help books or something ><;;
damn, this whole thing feels pretty pointless. but at least i confessed my burning not-so-secret want to see harry & draco get all unconditional and platonic, and shame, shame to my porny roots. though again, this could be combined and included, one within the other, heheheh. this is why i liked aja's `atrophy' so much. unconditional love -and- hot twisted coffin!sex. that-- that is pure perfection.
~~
and btw, is it just me or is there some sort of sick fascination in reading really bad fic? i can't seem to easily stop, even though it's sort of painful, but in a funny way. in a way, i can't even believe people actually write this badly. i mean, ok, i shouldn't just automatically deduct a 100 points out of 150 for a fic which includes a draco who quotes bush lyrics and has a cd player, but there you go. i'm just really, really unreasonable. ><;;
um.
and now for the goodfic (notice i didn't link to the badfic, because well-- why hurt people needlessly-- ie, you, who might decide to look at it, ahahahahah) ><;;
anyway, i read `the medean curse' throughsilviakundera's rec, which is by shana powers, who hasn't written -one- other hp fanfic, not one. and no, she doesn't write smallville-- or much of anything else. she does write trixie belden fanfic, which-- well-- i don't even -want- to know what that is, thankyouverymuch. but anyway. 'sgood. yes, frothy, yes, bubbly-- but funny and believeable (to me anyway), well-written fluffy harry/snape. which, you know, isn't the easiest thing in the world to pull off. it reminded me of the good type of romance novel (ahahah and now you know-- er-- it was a long time ago). i mean-- i so don't `ship harry/snape it's not even funny, but for some reason i tolerate it better than any other non-OTP pairing (which is to say, you don't have to trick me into reading it, heh.) although.... gah. every time she mentioned draco, i swooned. i was like, *sob*! draco missed out, the silly git~! i mean, this harry wanted him, at one point, and you know, in a `who wouldn't' sort of way, so obviously i like this story :D ahahahah. harry/snape fic which isn't dismissive of draco = very good (and rare!) thing.
also, i want to marryztrin's latest fic and have its children, so that i might sell them and turn them into dolls that go, ``Never Friends Good Girls and Boys". yes. mmmmmmm.
a number of you may think it's stupid to be going on and on about the stupid Trilogy, and i hear you, i do. but there is no equally conducive fic in the fandom i can sink my teeth into, here. and right now-- well, right now you're having the crucible in which their burgeoning unconditional love will be refined-- betrayal, shock, secrets, discoveries, death, life and so on.
but you may say, aren't i into harry/draco for eros and for what might almost be called anti-love, hate, etc? i mean, they -hate- each other, in canon, let us just say, why in the world do i need them to love each other unconditionally?
well, um, naturally this is what the power of love is all about. it doesn't feel all that interesting to tackle the easy, `natural' things, that happen of their own accord, that come swiftly and that last because nothing is confronting them and trying to make them wilt. what really grabs my attention is agape that is borne of darkness, that flowers in spite and -because- of darkness, a beautiful flower born from the crucible of hatred and despair.
i am interested in the idea of Mercy, forgiveness, the absolvement that comes not from letting go of sin, but from staring it straight in the eye, confronting it, not backing down yet not losing a shred of your humanity and love for the person (yourself or another), irrespective of their potential for destruction and stupidity and so on. i think my lucifer/adam story is close to my heart largely because i actually tried to tackle this theme, and i don't usually actually attempt to address the issues important to me in my fics, which i suppose is a problem ><
so i went in search of good definitions of agape, and found this, which does a pretty good job, really, at forgoing the more goopy religious aspects of this idea, and focusing on it in an academic manner.
not to say i insist on seeing agape in a non-spiritual way, but i think confining it to the realm of fluffy christian lore and the sort of emotion best left to god or something, is not doing justice to the idea. when you confront darkness, when you are face to face with the demons within yourself and the one you love, when you realize that you can love someone in spite of their weaknesses, perhaps even more than you thought you did before you understood-- this is the genesis, the crux of why i see romantic love between two people as a valid path to enlightenment and personal growth & change.
ethrosdemon said, i can't remember where, that it's unlikely that a teenage love would be enough to turn draco malfoy from the path set out before him since birth, of evil and darkness and service to voldemort, ultimately. and i can see the reasonableness in this-- when has `teenage love' overcome years of indoctrination, constant exposure to cruelty and deceit and fear ruling over intellect or compassion, and so on. what this ignores is that i don't see harry & draco's relationship in the light of a (probably brief) tryst between two horny teenagers. that is truly unimportant and not worthy of my attention-- though i would still squeal and be all giggly about it. the reason it actually captures my imagination, the reason i write about it and the reason i believe in it, is because i see them as archetypes, as representations of some basic emotional patterns that can interact with each other and combine in ways that complete and challenge and ultimately, transform each other.
and yes, if the full power of both of their potential selves were unfurled and were to interact, they would change, and it would be enough. love would be enough.
in a way, this is why i -really- don't `ship any other pairing that involves either of them. i truly see this, i truly see this sort of spiritual journey they could take together, and to me it's laughable to imagine caring about some little cutesy fling they could have with someone else. who cares if they could be happy with someone else? what i'm going for here is complete revolution, and you can't convince me this is possible with any other combination. not the same way. because as they are made, as they are structured, they are -opposites-, and equals in that respect.
everything that harry is, draco isn't. now this says nothing good about draco, granted. but imagine if there were also things that draco -was-, that he could -become-, that harry also needed to face, needed to understand. not just -fight- and internalize, the way he fights voldemort, not just resent, uncomprehending, like maybe with snape. what if there was someone he could neither internalize, really deal with, or ignore. what if there was someone who could take equally, just as he gave?
i may be addicted to little schoolboy-crush!h/d stories, but what i'm looking for is of mythic proportions. this is clark & lex, at their most exalted, although with clex you get the weight of the inevitable future hanging over their heads (ok, plus the show isn't all that good-- but then, the books aren't all that good, so what am i complaining about).
when we casually say, "they're like yin and yang" about two people, we don't usually think of the full ramifications, i don't think. especially if one isn't looking at it in a, "my -god-, they're so -different-, the sex would probably blow the roof away" sort of way. of course, this gets into the whole can of worms that is the relationship between eros and agape, and which is my other great source of interest in the concept.
you could-- and people have, in fact-- say that if harry & draco (or, by extension, anyone else) did achieve agape, eros would be contradictory to their relationship, may actually ruin it in some way. this isn't actually -stupid-, because it does have its roots in the definitions we give to eros and agape respectively. again, i would be lost here without my trusty summary of various philosophical takes on it.
after all, eros -wants-, craves, and needs the Other as a balm to oneself, as a part of oneself that one isn't willing to set free. agape, on the other hand, gives and understands and forgives and needs nothing but the continued existence of the beloved object. there are many ways in which these concepts can be found incompatible, and i'm sure i don't need to list them since people have thankfully done it for me time and again. what i find interesting is the ways in which eros and agape can co-exist, or exist in conjunction with each other-- imperfectly, but in a lasting manner.
in fact, i would say that the insane, crazy ideal of Romantic Love in its most exalted form would be this ridiculous, yin/yang combination of agape and eros.
basically what you're adding to the mix here is Ego, which is a dangerous, highly reactive substance liable to go off at the slightest provocation. wanting, craving, longing, how is that supposed to mix with their very opposites? um. i think the secret may actually be self-love in conjunction with love of the Other. if you truly accept yourself through the eyes of the Other, and if you accept the Other as different than you, as fallible, as prone to misjudgment and as being likely to actually hurt you-- and you don't need to approve-- still you love them unconditionally, based merely on their beauty & value of their `essence'.
a factor that is definitely currently at work in DV!harry&draco and more obviously and naturally in their usual dynamic is the -veil- that separates them, the lack of knowledge or understanding. it is important to keep this veil, this barrier against complete understanding and perhaps merging with the other, in order for the delicate alchemy of romantic/sexual love to remain alive between them. you make it thinner and thinner in order to -change- them, to transform them, but hopefully it remains in place, because this is the source of their raw tension, their attractive force-- it's their separateness, the central mystery.
i found this great reference to kierkegaard in an article about the function of the physical and psychological `veil' in stimulating and sustaining desire. to quote:
``The veil turns an individual personality into a type, protecting sexual desire by homogenizing and dehumanizing its target. This depersonalization is, in effect, also an idealization and hence a protector of desire."
there is definitely a delicate balance of knowledge and mystery required to achieve a successful, lasting fusion between polar opposite personalities/types (like harry & draco, of course). and gahd, do i sound like i'm writing a paper or what??
i'm probably being picky in wanting agape to be combined with eros (ie sexuality), but in all honesty i don't see how harry & draco could achieve agape -without- sexuality unless you had some sort of shortcut plot-device like, oh, say, mind-melding :D
um, not that i'm actually saying i have a clue as to how actually work this, you know. i just have faith that it's possible to have a relationship where eros and agape combine, and of course i can no more draw a map to that destination than the next quack, and if i could, i'm sure i'll be making millions writing self-help books or something ><;;
damn, this whole thing feels pretty pointless. but at least i confessed my burning not-so-secret want to see harry & draco get all unconditional and platonic, and shame, shame to my porny roots. though again, this could be combined and included, one within the other, heheheh. this is why i liked aja's `atrophy' so much. unconditional love -and- hot twisted coffin!sex. that-- that is pure perfection.
~~
and btw, is it just me or is there some sort of sick fascination in reading really bad fic? i can't seem to easily stop, even though it's sort of painful, but in a funny way. in a way, i can't even believe people actually write this badly. i mean, ok, i shouldn't just automatically deduct a 100 points out of 150 for a fic which includes a draco who quotes bush lyrics and has a cd player, but there you go. i'm just really, really unreasonable. ><;;
um.
and now for the goodfic (notice i didn't link to the badfic, because well-- why hurt people needlessly-- ie, you, who might decide to look at it, ahahahahah) ><;;
anyway, i read `the medean curse' through
silviakundera's rec, which is by shana powers, who hasn't written -one- other hp fanfic, not one. and no, she doesn't write smallville-- or much of anything else. she does write trixie belden fanfic, which-- well-- i don't even -want- to know what that is, thankyouverymuch. but anyway. 'sgood. yes, frothy, yes, bubbly-- but funny and believeable (to me anyway), well-written fluffy harry/snape. which, you know, isn't the easiest thing in the world to pull off. it reminded me of the good type of romance novel (ahahah and now you know-- er-- it was a long time ago). i mean-- i so don't `ship harry/snape it's not even funny, but for some reason i tolerate it better than any other non-OTP pairing (which is to say, you don't have to trick me into reading it, heh.) although.... gah. every time she mentioned draco, i swooned. i was like, *sob*! draco missed out, the silly git~! i mean, this harry wanted him, at one point, and you know, in a `who wouldn't' sort of way, so obviously i like this story :D ahahahah. harry/snape fic which isn't dismissive of draco = very good (and rare!) thing.also, i want to marry
ztrin's latest fic and have its children, so that i might sell them and turn them into dolls that go, ``Never Friends Good Girls and Boys". yes. mmmmmmm.
