~~happy birthday review~!! ahahahah~:D

[reenka]

*deep breaths*

wow, i never quite expect it, really. they sneak up on you, all rambling and sincere and you'd think there would be no surprises, but that's not true. their emotions are so strong and vivid, in all the varieties-- mundane and wistful and angry and needy and bemused and longing and hoping and rebelling and reassuring and hurting and-- everything. the chapter started off kind of slow. lily's kind of creepy, but in a mysteriously interesting sort of way. draco starts off endearing and sappy and (handwriting! oh, the sweetness)-- well, he's the same as he always had been (in luw) but if i didn't see other sides to him it would be a bit much, especially as much as he's completely seeing their fighting from such an objective calm angle. my mind boggles conceiving of draco malfoy as calm and gentle and reasonable and sweetly devoted (in a dorky way, even!). *laughs*

but then there was harry's letter.
....
and things just kick-started. with a bang. yes. i could feel it all the way down to my toes again (ahhhhh, the good stuff). harry is also not pretending, and not saying anything `insensitive' and anything he would regret later, and he manages to still be hard-hitting and painful and breathtaking in his passion and sincerity and pain. you're the best at this-- sweet sincere torture.

the strength of harry's fear/concern for draco, of his frustration, of his hatred of voldemort-- so palpable. they're both so strangely understanding-- like they really -know- what the other thinks and they even -trust- each other, so it's not about that. it's like they -have- that, and there are all these -other- issues to work out, anyway. it's so sweet and beautiful, really, how they've become so in tune and aware of what the other really thinks, and how comfortable they are telling everything to each other. it just makes me melt.

harry's tone-- is just so right. it's both -your- harry and a believable canon!harry, too. older, somewhat wiser, more angry, more forgiving, much more in love.

I'm mad, and I miss you, and I wish I could touch you too, and I want to hit you.

guh. i almost felt like crying at this point, and like i said, it just snuck up on me, the way he just says these things in the same direct matter-of-fact way he says everything else-- it's just heartbreaking. and true. and harry.
    just-- his feelings kind of -build- in that letter, getting more and more desperate and lost and yet-- still-- understanding. i can really -feel- it that he did mean it, unbelievable as it seems, that he -does- accept draco just as he is, and that is just amazing, the way you have him communicate that both over all and with his every word, by just being himself and not holding back, especially when one knows that's something he isn't comfortable being with anyone else (as his avoidance of hermione shows).

plus all the cute sweet (shirt! hee!) bits, that make me smile, because they're so sweet and you said things aren't going to be sweet again for awhile and muwahahah you weren't completely straight with us, were you :D these two can't seem to help it.
    ginny's letter was kind of-- ok, really-- creepy, and it really made me wonder what's going on, at the same time bouncing with plotty excitement (plot! plot!) ``awful icky feeling" ahahahahah :D
    and then, draco. guh. ack. *pant*

Listen, Potter.

... wow. i can -hear- that. and it definitely is on-target. (am apparently addicted to sweetly-angry!harry&draco.) i love, love, love, love the the hard unflinching way he goes on about how maybe he wants the darkness but then-- oh, then, he lets slip that he's only really saying this because he's afraid he might choose and then lose him, that he might end up making the wrong choice somehow, unable to help himself. that's just-- wow. that is just -real-, that is his heart right there. just, the way he doesn't back down but can't help letting his emotions slip in and it's obvious he's not as tough and dark and mighty as he tries to be but he has no clue what other identity to have, and so he just hangs on and asks harry for help and understanding and-- he's just so vulnerable it's completely heart-breaking.

and then the story of the malfoy traitor, which i found interesting and touching (the bit with his grandmother), and i love it when someone fills out the malfoys' history (believably, anyway). i could totally see it, how the wizards would see the revolution as an opportunity-- i loved all the little touches in this-- all the details of the wizarding world, the little knick-knacks and names of things and so on. it just fills things out and makes them more real by grounding them in the mundane and the humorous.

and then he says (implies-- says) that he -does- want to commit to -harry-, and watch me turn into a puddle of goo (just-- the way he just says it-- the way they're both so casual and blunt and adorable... *sigh*) and then he gets all gooey about harry's little quirks and the pouty-lip thing and the nose-scrunch and it's almost too much but it isn't because coming after all that emotion and rambling it seems like just another part of draco that he's not afraid to share, because he's not afraid to share anything.
    weird bit with the wand & ollivander's. i love these mysteries you're building. the way it's becoming that the only things that they can be certain of are each other, and everything else seems to be getting more and more murky and strange. i love that, if you can't tell :D the interaction between draco & ollivander was cute and funny and a nice change of pace. i could definitely envision all of draco's cute little reactions. hee. the wand polish. hee. `a summer place'. hee~!

yeah~:)
and... and... ack. the last line...... the way it just kind of flows (springs) out of the rambling about his book, and him being kind of casual and then-- guh. i mean, it seems so sweet and emotional the whole time, but there always seems to be a new level of adorable melty yumminess to follow.
    It's just a stupid piece of paper, it doesn't mean anything.

*grins* i love how this sets up harry's actual letter. how it lets the "Draco" be a surprise, something to make one smile, reading it.
and then he refers to how he feels. and i feel my heart speed up and i start smiling-- but he doesn't -say- anything, and then-- wow. he's walking this line-- between being `harry, who loves draco' and `harry, who hates voldemort' and he's being completely honest and calm and full of his usual scary conviction & i love him and it, and -- them -- all over again.

I know who you are. I know you.

guh. wow. i mean. *laughs* if this is your idea of "not sweet", more bitterness i say, more, more, more, moooooore! :D

People hear my name and their eyes pop out of their head and they stare at me like they expect me to, I don't know, turn into a pile of ashes or something in front of them.

*sighs* that is just so harry, all righteous indignation and his own unique brand of common sense and humor. i love his eloquence-- it doesn't seem forced, un-harry-like-- it seems like he feels these things so deeply, he can't help but say them clearly, because it's like they're coming from the deepest part of himself. he's finally speaking all the things he hadn't had the chance or desire to say to anyone all these years. his voice is just -extremely- strong here, and wonderfully both in-character for luw and for canon, which is delicious since luw!harry is blatantly slashy, ahahahahah. it reads almost like a manifesto, even. he's proclaiming and declaring and not asking for permission, and just -saying- who he is and what's important to him, and what he'll fight for and it's just beautiful.

But that's impossible so I always figured the best way to make them proud is just to be myself.

the stuff about his parents is so painfully honest and real and heart-felt it was almost overwhelming to me. and then-- just, unbelievably-- he shows such devotion and generosity and i'm amazed at him all over again and it's obviously pretty much impossible for draco not to love him. harry seems almost -too- mature, too self-sacrificing and understanding. on the other hand, he's still angry, and he's still stubborn, he's just unable to stop wanting draco to be happy, real happiness which comes from doing and being what you really want, which is of course, beautiful and the very center of love.

and then-- the voldemort speech. and again, i'm breathless because harry is so -there-, and so full of that brash fiery conviction that is his great strength.

What right, what possible right, do they have to be afraid of him?

i love that. it seems completely obvious, and yet i don't think i've seen this aspect explored so much, in other fics. harry who is not so much self-recriminating and depressed and despirited but rather even -more- engaged and angry and driven. this could definitely happen, and i'm glad your harry has this strength because i have a feeling he's going to need every ounce of it.
    and then, when he turns right around and applies this determination to draco, and keeping them together-- *sighs* it just seems totally believable and right. i can definitely see a split-- him saying he would never let it come to the point where he'd have to fight draco, and saying that draco couldn't stop him if he wanted to try. that's just powerful, and his words about voldemort don't seem rehearsed or rote (not any less real than his feeling for draco), they seem as completely real as anything else he'd said.

because in case you didn't already know it, I love you.

*chokes*
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~!!
guh. at this point i melted and coherent thought left the building.
that is just-- a bloody perfect way for him to have said it. it really really is. it is. yes. that is all i'll say about that :D

and then the mundanity. and the little pieces of his life. and how boring it is without him (*cries*) and the firebolt case (*laughs delightedly at above-mentioned flair for detail, and at the use of the word `neat'*).
and, `be safe'-- while trite and kind of anticlimactic coming from anyone else, it really makes perfect sense coming from harry. and it sweet and adorable and meep! theirloveissodangerous :D
    *contented sigh*
    you're the one with the birthday but we're the ones with the present :D
~~

and oh yeah~! *giggles*
Happy Birthday, Aja~!!

may Harry and Draco never stop being the sweet stubborn head-over-heels for each other fools you want them to be, and may the slashy fairy sprinkle all your dreams with a myriad sweet, smutty, joyous soprano flavors~~:)




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hee. one more coming up later today ;)