eeee~:) thankee~!, & it feels that much more real when there are some quibbles mixed in, especially since it's all un-beta'd and naked, so to speak~:) hee. i keep picking up on minor details for several days now, and going back and fixing it~:) truthfully it was all kind of melodramatic and-- well-- a bit like a "show", where they did the usual Gestures and responded with other Gestures (thus the somewhat unusual-- for me-- emphasis on body language), like kabuki or something, and it's hard to pick apart what works and what doesn't by myself, since it all came to me in a sort of visualization/vocalization sort of deal, where i sit on a bus and hear these two people being... erm. well, the way they are ^^;; in the end, i wrote this mostly blind and deaf, and i'm amazed any dialogue came out well at all, since mostly all i was sure of were their movements.
like, it all started with me hearing (in my head) "Harder. Harder" and various grunts, which, you know, not the most auspicious beginning~:) am happy you liked, but even more happy looked at it with a critical eye, which i'm always desperate for (well, not so much criticism as analysis. am an analysis bitch, i guess). probably can expect more when i'm feeling hormonal yet bitchy again sometime next month :D hahaha.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2002-10-23 06:24 pm (UTC)thankee~!, & it feels that much more real when there are some quibbles mixed in, especially since it's all un-beta'd and naked, so to speak~:) hee. i keep picking up on minor details for several days now, and going back and fixing it~:)
truthfully it was all kind of melodramatic and-- well-- a bit like a "show", where they did the usual Gestures and responded with other Gestures (thus the somewhat unusual-- for me-- emphasis on body language), like kabuki or something, and it's hard to pick apart what works and what doesn't by myself, since it all came to me in a sort of visualization/vocalization sort of deal, where i sit on a bus and hear these two people being... erm. well, the way they are ^^;; in the end, i wrote this mostly blind and deaf, and i'm amazed any dialogue came out well at all, since mostly all i was sure of were their movements.
like, it all started with me hearing (in my head) "Harder. Harder" and various grunts, which, you know, not the most auspicious beginning~:)
am happy you liked, but even more happy looked at it with a critical eye, which i'm always desperate for (well, not so much criticism as analysis. am an analysis bitch, i guess).
probably can expect more when i'm feeling hormonal yet bitchy again sometime next month :D hahaha.
~reena :D