[some questions should be rhetorical yet aren't.]

[reenka]

Why is suave-top!Draco the fanon god? Why? WHY? And why do people who like such a character ALSO LIKE MY CHARACTERIZATIONS??! EVER? AT ALL? -.-;; ...not that I want everyone to 'pick a side' or some such rubbish, and it's not like I've issues with the fans themselves, but honestly!! Some things are a matter of principle... lame as that is, I know, shut up. Mostly it's hearing anyone be like, 'yeay, canon!' and then be all 'yeay, anti-canon!'. It just makes me go :/ :/ :/ (I mean, if you actually tell me 'but I don't think canon!Draco REALLY EXISTS' and/or 'but he's boring' and/or 'but I disagree with JKR and basically she sucks!'-- fine. BUT. THEN YOU WOULDN'T LIKE MY FICS, RIGHT? Or at least I hope so. The truth is, there are always people who'd be like 'but porn!' or 'but you're good at adjectives!' or whatevs.) Anyway, in a case where someone's like 'your ideas about H/D and characterization are spot on!' and yet they're squeey about Lovely!Draco... I dunna understand, Capt'n! WHAT WENT WRONG? :(


    I swear to god, I just had someone tell me 'An Unlikely Pair' was awesome & their idea of an OTP manifesto or whatever, and then I see them squeeing about The Top!Draco That Cometh From The Deepest Parts of Hell. (...and if only he was as interesting as the devil.) I seriously hate that Draco to the point where he's in the Most Hated Dracos Of All Time Hall of Fame, but more importantly (as that isn't really all that interesting or valid as an argument), it HURTS MY SOUL that anyone who's like 'yah Reena, you're SO SPOT ON, bitchy-bottom!canon!Draco rocks out!' (or whatever), would then go and be like 'omg, Lovely!fanon!Draco is TEH BOMB!!1'. I think people who have got no real independent grasp on the characters (so it changes with every halfway well-written fic) weird me out. I'd rather they be RAH RAH TOP!DRACO CAN DOM CANON!HARRY'S ARSE ANY DAY OF THE WEEK, YAAAYE (because then I'd respect their opinion even if they're COMPLETELY ON CRACK and/or reading different books, y'know, those ones where Draco is Teh Winnar with Teh Smirk and Teh Drawl, OMG!!1). Seriously, how can I trust people like this :/ I mean, even when I liked a lot more fanon than I do now, I never liked Mr Smooth. And that's because it's common sense that Mr Smooth NEEDS TO DIE OKAY. :O! I mean, George Bush & the head of Homeland Security can die first, BUT THEN SMOOTH-TOP!DRACO GETS IT. :/

I want someone to explain this paradox to me once and for all, possibly with easy-to-understand hand gestures and graphs, so I could discount it all as silly fangirl folly. (Which I know it is, but still! Confused! And! Distraught!) Pathetic, I know -.- Mostly, I want it explained 'cause I really dislike losing respect for the fannish opinion of even random people I don't know, forget anyone else. Clearly, I'm just not elitist enough -.-;; Still, though, oldschool-fanon!Draco was better. Seriously. Even IP!Draco totally owns Lovely!Draco's ass. ...and now I'm tempted to make it literal. >.>;; Oh, self. -.-
    And just in case you think my hate on is All Fanon!Draco All The Time, recently I keep seeing people refer to Harry as 'sweet', 'naive' and 'too trusting'. o_o o_0 0_0 And yes, we -are- talking about Mr Paranoid, Mr Sluggify, also known as Mr Fists of Fury and Mr Capslock. I've seen him referred to as 'an emotional bottom', which -might- have something to it, except he'd need to trust you first, and y'know... uh, canon!Harry? Not so good with that, even with his best friends. Mostly, it's just really annoying that people think that Gryffindors in general are like, the opposite of Slytherins (already questionable if you mean nature rather than method), which has to mean 'sweet and innocent' 'cause Slyths are 'devious and cunning'. Sometimes I think people read sorting quizzes instead of canon. WOULDN'T THAT EXPLAIN EVERYTHING, THOUGH??! :/ (Although it's hilarious trying to picture sweet-and-innocent!Sirius or James, ahahahahah.) Or Hermione, for that matter. Or Ginny. WHAT A SWEET GIRL, RIGHT? I'm sure Zacharias Smith just loves her :/

Thing is, I feel weird sounding like canon!Slyth fans or whatever, 'cause that's totally not where I'm coming from at all, because this is all fanfic-based. People who argue canon specifically have a fundamentally different focus than I do, y'know? I mean, I was just rereading (well, re-skimming) pir8fancier's 'Lettered' yesterday, and I remember really loving it in '04 'cause it was a respite to the Draco in my RP, 'cause he was all sekritly sensitive and a great lover and intelligent and Harry was naturally the bumbling/clueless/lost one that Draco had to enlighten... so I understand the draw of wishing Draco was like that. Though 'Lettered' was actually well-written and interesting rather than totally bland and a saccharine little cut-out, but yeah. I still enjoy that fic, but it isn't what I need now like I needed it then... it -was- just a band-aid, telling me what I thought I wanted to hear, and overall I think that's a flaw in any fic. I like her 'canon!Draco' in 'Picture This' a lot more, 'cause regardless of whether it -was- closer to canon, it just felt more real. I had issues with how that fic ended, but I'm totally okay with having issues with a fic if I can accept its premise, I guess. More specifically, if I can respect its premise-- and Lettered!Draco's premise just seems too pat and easy and pretty to me now, like I'm not interested in his development in the long-term because he's already 'on top of things' in retrospect. I mean, initially I thought the fic was about Draco's archetypal Journey and stuff, but. It wasn't. And if I'm not interested in where Draco could go & what he could become, what is Draco to me? Just another pretty boy.

I mean, read/skimmed the sequel to 'Lettered' yesterday too, and while I enjoyed the writing, I didn't know what to say. The Draco began and remained completely self-contained, even if he wasn't entirely self-suffient or happy without Harry. He did need Harry, yes, but not desperately, not madly, not enough to truly change him-- and while that may be what adult healthy love is like, all right, I cannot accept that about Draco. He's just not... he's just kind of useless as yet another campy queen in NYC or whatever, whether he's a bottom or a top. That's really a meaningless distinction if he's not an emotional bottom, which furiosity's recent bottomy-top!Draco fic demonstrated for me. It may be amusing to read about him as the campy queen bee, but it's ultimately so shallow. He doesn't have to be Draco anymore, y'know-- he could be Emmett from QAF or any number of other blokes. What makes Draco Draco is basically his canon traits-- that need to prove himself, that arrogance mixed with insecurity, that vindictive petty cattiness, the creative/attention-getting streak, his attachment to family and tradition, his weird mix of weakness and perseverance. He's not okay by himself, y'know? He needs people-- he needs his family, he needs the Slytherins, he even needs Harry, I think. And not just 'someone like them' like in 'Lush Life'-- not with Draco's fixation on identity-through-affiliation. *sigh*

But I'm almost used to people messing up Draco. It's just even more ridiculous to me that Harry's got an almost more cracked out rep in fandom, for some reason. I want to know why they see him like that, what the hell do they see in the books that I don't, but maybe they just stopped paying much attention to Harry after book 3 or 4 or thereabouts. Except Harry was badass from book 1 onwards, so I don't know, man. I don't know :/

...Anyway, I may or may not be writing an H/D play, of all things. It's really lame, but. Writing plays is fun.

Uh, also: am back in NYC (from England). Meh.

And. Had a concussion while falling down the escalator in Heathrow after tripping on my huge-ass baggage. This was because I had to buy this huge bag to put all my books in. 'Cause naturally I spent like, hours in England buying up travel guides to all the national parks I wanted to go to, ahahah. I'm so lame -.- And yeah, it was really freaky hearing ringing and seeing double and just sort of having my mind fail me, even for a little while. And then I was fine & came to JFK aiport only to spend like, 3 hours in splendid adventures involving luggage retrieval. Ahh, home sweet home. (In other words, what I mean is, I have some excuse to be a little cranky, heheh. Sorry, poor flist! Skim on by!)

Comments

[loftily.livejournal.com]

No, seriously, I love you. A lot.

I'm also jealous because you met Trin before me, but I will forgive you. I am glad your head is okay.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Heee! <3333333333333333 I'm still amazed you feel that way about my uber-lame H/D posts, but why mess with a good thing? *loves!!*
Actually, the whole time I was with Trin, I kept remembering how you wanted to meet her, and I believe I mentioned you several times, so you were definitely with us in spirit :D And, y'know, what really needs to happen is for all of us to meet in London at once. See, all problems solved :D :D :D

And my head is apparently unusually hard or something, 'cause I seem to recall falling on it several times in my childhood and look! I'M COMPLETELY FINE!!1 lakfsjlkja;flafls

[furiosity.livejournal.com]

See, I love pir8fancier's Draco regardless because it's just her Draco, the way mistful's Draco works for me even if I don't see him as canon. If someone's writing is engaging enough to keep me reading, I can actually disengage my brain from my own thoughts on yaoi canon and just enjoy the writer's view. But that's a rare thing; it only happens when I read things by mistful, pir8fancier or scoradh.

What makes Draco Draco is basically his canon traits-- that need to prove himself, that arrogance mixed with insecurity, that vindictive petty cattiness, the creative/attention-getting streak, his attachment to family and tradition, his weird mix of weakness and perseverance. He's not okay by himself, y'know?
Probably the best description of Draco I've ever read. *bows down* I do think he can learn to be okay by himself given lots of time and a hopeless situation, though -- but only because he would want to prove himself as capable of independence, and would probably take it too far and become ultra-aloof -- not in the fanony, cool sort of way, but in the OCD, "needing-to-be-left-alone" sort of way.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Haha, that's actually an interesting thing, 'cause I feel the same way about those three-- especially Maya's!Draco, whom I adore. And of course I like reading pir8fancier's Draco a lot too (which is why I wasn't dissing him, more just thinking about him). I still love 'Lettered', but reading the sequel made it a difference, weirdly, 'cause... it wasn't that I thought he was too fanon, but rather I just thought he lost some essential Draconess that supercedes canon & fanon to me by becoming too self-contained & 'choosing himself'.

And I actually agree that he could do it (choose himself, to be by himself, etc) after enough years and bitterness-- people do become less vulnerable with age or they break sooner or later, but... I still don't like that idea, that probability even. Everytime I read a character who 'got over' his youthful vulnerability in some major way, especially a guy-- it's just so depressing. Plus, her Draco chose that while he was still a teenager, so it doesn't work :>

Anyway, I uh (forgot to say, sorry) was mostly talking about Lovely!Draco and his ilk-- the ones with no real charm or -any- connection to canon WHATSOEVER. NOT EVEN SNARK. And being confused that people can like that and think my Draco was great o_0

I actually also make exceptions for oldschool!Zahra fic and ethrosdemon and Penelope Z & Trin & Amalin & man, most oldschool fanon, ahahah :)) But those traits I listed were just the basics, so it's hard to separate myself from them enough to label them as 'merely canon' or something. They're just... Draco, so much so that I can't imagine him without those qualities ^^; I've become so set in my ways in my old fandom age, 'tis true :>

[plumforgot.livejournal.com]

I've spent the last 25,000 words of my life messing up Harry and Draco. Oh the downwards spiral.

Welcome home though! (I say this as if I've been waiting in your home for you... with a plate of cookies...)

[loftily.livejournal.com]

I LOVE your uber-lame H/D posts, and you know that. They are awesome and make me grin.

Hooray, London. And Trin. And old bitter fandom people getting together to reminisce dreamily. At least, that is what I would probably do.

GOD THE HUG FIC I DIDN'T WRITE AT ALL IN KOREA AND NOW I AM LIKE, WHAT, I AM GOING TO FINISH THIS IF IT KILLS ME.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Awww, it can't be that bad! :P Also, I have total faith in you! It doesn't have to be perfect, anyway, if it works for the story ('cause if it did, um, I'd mess up Harry & Draco pretty much continuously)... I just hate characterizations like this (http://lovely-slyth.livejournal.com/37441.html#cutid1) 'cause I hate that Draco. I don't think one -could- hate your Draco, heeh <3<3<3 *starry eyes of love*

Hee! Thanks! You're the second person to say that, after the passport-check person :D He didn't have any cookies either, but it's the thought that counts :>

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I thought it was pretty funny that mostly our mentions of HP fandom involved the actors, since Trin doesn't really consider herself ever having been -in- fandom properly :)) Well, the actors, Rhod, Penelope and you :D :D :D

...At this point I'm in no hurry, 'cause if you finish it, then I can't look forward to you finishing it & also it's unlikely you'd write another :D :D ♥