[H/D post #82972484937]
Aug. 17th, 2006 08:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkaIt's really disturbing to me just how lazy I am-- I mean, I'm really a horribly lazy person. I don't pay attention to most things I should, leaving everything to the last minute & then doing it slapdash.... Yeah, so today was another spectacular episode of the 'Reena Is A Total Slacker' show but I'm actually too lazy/bleh to type it up @![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
floorpigeon. I was just saying all this to express my befuddlement that there's one thing I seem to consistently take seriously & yet more shocking, want to put effort into(!) at the same time, and that is Harry/Draco. -.- Not to say the actual writing of it tends to involve effort (though I certainly -try- more than usual for me), but the... well, sort of the total package of writing/thinking/analyzing/angsting that passes for 'mental effort' around here -.-;;
Aaaaand all of this is to sort of excuse all the 'normal' people who actually either a) don't care how much effort/thought believable H/D (or any 'unlikely' pairing of that sort) would take; b) actually don't realize/bother to think things through enough to realize 'oh wait, this is a smut/resolution short-cut'. On the other hand, I should be realistic & admit that -everyone- takes short-cuts... possibly there is no such thing as the Ideal Fic where you don't need to take a leap and not ask 'but why??' at least once. And it's true I probably make those leaps without thinking for fics with nearly all other pairings, where I -haven't- analyzed them to death.
Of course, you can always say I overthink it and am too suspicious, like, do I really always have to ask 'but isn't this too convenient?' and 'but what happened to Harry's hetero hard-on? did someone eat it?' and so on. Uh, what I mean is, I hate it when people say 'I really dislike Harry/Draco as a pairing because most fanfics take such-and-such shortcut' because fanfic writers are lazy :P Then again, my priorities are obviously skewed to hell and back :/
Can you feel the sickeningly recursive meta here? I can't talk about Harry/Draco or fanfic or the related reader response without talking about myself, my wishes/dreams/expectations. In some ways, I'm not sure what H/D is about anymore (post-HBP), and it's the rare, rare fic that has anything to say to me that explains anything. I thinkfuriosity's 'Unintended' sort of does-- and I like the alternate ending 'cause even though it leaves me somewhat unsatisfied, that reflects the dissatisfaction/ennui I generally feel about any portrayal of their future. I can't help but think, well, but it wouldn't be like -that-, but what does it matter if I have no alternative? (And in my 'defense', I'll say that I find short-cuts can be 'negative' as well as 'positive' plot-wise-- meaning, if a character's suddenly gone to a monastery or got married or is tragically dead, it can feel as sudden & unsatisfying in terms of their arc as them suddenly getting over their girlfriend, forgetting they find a Certain Someone really bloody annoying, or maybe just the old standby: OMG HELP ME, I WOKE UP GAY!)
I actually feel almost motivated to write a fanfic-to-the-fanfic sequel-type-thing just because I really liked her Harry & thinking what's wrong/right about him is like clinging to a life-raft from a shipwrecked boat. It's like, concentrating on the character alone & not relationship dynamics or future events seems to help; still, as much as I like that Harry, I get no sense of why he cares about Draco; I just get a sense of an empty spot in him that maybe could still be filled (because he's with Ron & Hermione but he is still fundamentally alone by temperament), which is progress. ('Needs Draco' isn't the same as 'cares for', but then the fic doesn't follow through on the 'need', and... anyway.)
What I like about that fic is that it's about the characters (and their issues), so it engages me even if I didn't find any resolution within it. The issues are -there- (though it's still a heavily abridged version!! and I have a few issues with this Harry, too), and it's made me think of how a really good fic would thrive on the openings & little wounds & prickly issues between the characters-- how a really good romance would be because of all this neediness & history & distrust rather than in spite of or in a little sex-bubble away from (like in the fic). What I want to see is something a lot like that, except with them fucking with a growing real awareness of exactly what they're doing & what it means, and in fact doing it because what it means is YES, I WANT THIS without any two-penny 'forgiveness', magical changes of heart or anything but unreasoning emotional connection to smooth the way. I firmly believe Harry doesn't need to either 'forgive' or 'blindly accept' Draco, and neither does he need to ADMIRE or believe in Draco's goodness or not-evilness, even; he just needs to NEED and to SEE (Draco's weaknesses, his strengths, his... well, appeal should be more instinctive and based more on interaction-- meaning, forget 'reasons' to like Draco, that was a mistake of mine)... and then accept. :> It requires growth of character-- obviously the 'old' Harry wouldn't go for this, wasn't capable of this level of perception... but why would you want the 'old' Harry? Character growth, baby.
It's almost like what H/D means to me at any one point reflects where I am in my life. Currently, I've gone beyond angsty/angry sex or the unrequited longing I started with, and am faced with a barren sort of hopeful hopelessness-- just as I began wanting 'One Good Reason' for Harry to want Draco, now I want one good reason for their story to matter besides 'it just does 'cause I'm a basketcase'. I guess I sort of think the difficulties and thorns are the equivalent of roses-- because all those little dents and scars on people are the sources, the itchy places that love soothes and heals. It's sort of like, with HBP, H/D has gotten a lot more complicated... it's not just adolescent groping anymore, and in a way I don't know what it is, but both of them need as much as ever; they're going forward and dealing with more adult things, but there's still that disconnect because all this 'growing up' is happening too fast and too soon. I feel like 'Unintended' sort of pokes at that issue without really exploring it, maybe.
Regardless, I think the reason I'm still so obsessed with the possibilities of H/D (in spite of disliking 98% of all fanfic I read for it) is because it relates to my obsession with hope for the hopeless and because I've never successfully resolved their issues to my own satisfaction, nor seen anyone else do it. Anytime they become 'friends' (usually 'over the War'), Draco's defanged-- more polite, more reasonable, less prickly, less of a little bitch. Maybe that's realistic in some ways (people do get over their adolescent issues at least a little), but it's less of a worthwhile story to me. In real life, I guess, most people with as many issues as H&D have in my head simply break up or never get together-- they give up. And I guess that's why I can't bring myself to--because it's fanfic, I realize I -can- make them face the brick wall again and again, beat their head against it, try to resolve things. I'm sort of like the fatalistically stubborn romantic-- chasing after real love in the most idiotic place imaginable, knowing I can never quite catch it, just because to stop chasing would be most devastating of all.
~~
It was like after HBP, H/D writers were gleeful about Harry's 'obsession' and either dismissive of Draco's apparent move away from his old fixation amidst all the angst or actually glad of it, maybe 'cause it gave more canon credence to the 'Draco is oh-so-cool-and-aloof' thing. It's really been-- somewhat frustrating & alienating to me, shippiness aside, and made me realize just how dependent I am on writing about a theme-- need to prove yourself, changing oneself, resentment tangled up with heavy denial & lust, all that good stuff-- as it applied to Draco specifically as a character, and therefore H/D (because HOW CAN YOU SERIOUSLY WRITE ABOUT DRACO WITHOUT WRITING ABOUT HARRY? :O!). I've never valued H/D alone, 'no matter what the means to the end', and have resented that common view of what shippers in general are like.
Um, I still call myself a shipper 'cause I don't like unhappy endings for them, though I define 'unhappy' as 'without emotional resolution and/or with one of them giving up on finding the above'. And naturally because I seriously think they need to fuck... or was that 'have their issues collide head-on'? I can never decide. :P I sort of compromise with 'there needs to be LOTS OF ANGSTY FUCKING', though perhaps that's my motto for any pairing :> It's just that with H/D there's all this weight of meta whispering in my ear about how -great- it would be, how they could balance each other, how I'd love for there to be a transcendent path of growth and self-realization... god. With Sirius/Remus, at least I know how to enjoy the angsty/fluffy sex properly. ^^;
In any case, it seems like most Draco-centric people tend to be all about viewing canon a certain way or questioning Harry/narrator 'dominance' or values and getting compassion for Draco (whether or not this implies moral justification for them in particular). Likewise, Harry-centric people tend to have other group soft-spots (often concentrating on Harry's ophan status, his ordinariness, his need for affection-- quite a similar fannish search for compassion, really). This style of 'favoring' one's, umm, favored character tends to influence how they like to read or write them in ships; more specifically, I swear to god, I can tell if someone favors or identifies with Harry or Draco by which of them they like to be the bottom. Meaning, the favorite nearly always bottoms (...which I find somewhat disturbing, but HEY, THAT'S JUST ME), though sometimes we have bottom!Harry spontaneously occur, like by retroactive canon-rewrite, brought about by fanon!Draco's mystical hotness powers. Like, generally they'd want the favored character treated 'well' or taken care of somehow, even (especially?) through hurt/comfort, where the character gets hurt a lot & this garners reader sympathy if nothing else. (And I suppose in the sexualized scenario, bottoming is equivalent to 'being taken care of'... which is my own little squick as a female, but anyway.) The other method is more rational than emotional that way, and involves the other character in the ship really admiring them & being smitten silly, suddenly shown all their (existent or newly 'added') positive qualities.
Needless to say, all these methods of 'celebrating' a character one loves are very human and normal, of course, it's just-- I am really not like that. At all. :/
I mean, obviously I have biases & favorite characters & ships, it's just that I don't like things being made nice & easy for like-- uh-- anyone. (And yeah, this is similar to how shippers like to read/write fics where the characters skip all the build-up and stuff.)
This is all inspired by thinking I wouldn't have minded actual -exploration- of the post-HBP dynamic and its unique issues; something that examined the switched roles ironically. I mean, it -is- interesting that things changed; it's just that back when Harry was all 'distant' in OoTP, people said, 'well, that's just how it is now' & accepted it and threw up their hands or quit writing. Yet somehow with Draco it's interesting & not much of a barrier at all, because we take the fanon of it all so much for granted. Sometimes I'm unsure if most shippers still realize that 'Draco used to be the infatuated one, so this is fair turnabout' is PURE FANON. Draco's interest in all things Potter was a platform to spring from, not an excuse for having him carve 'I wanna fuck Harry Potter' on his arm. And don't even get me started on what Harry's behavior in HBP is 'not an excuse for'-- because the answer is 'most things it's been used to excuse'. :/
The whole wanky issue of whether slash can be implicitly tied with canon is drawn from these questions as well, because the shippers' (slash or het) mindset of 'pleasure/shippy-love first'. I don't know what my point is anymore, btw). I think it all relates to the yeay-goggles even the most reasonable fan wears about something-- and I don't want to sound like I'm so removed from that, 'cause I'm not, it's just that like I said, my focus with Draco & H/D isn't to celebrate (though I squee as much as your average fangirl-- just mixed with other responses).
I mean, I'm not an 'analytical' or meta-centric or even angst-centric fan; I'm not 'all about exploring the issues' in the typical way, at the expense of character-love or pleasure in reading or smut, etc. It's just that pesky thing of always remembering 'but this is how it is' coupled with actually shippily believing that smut/pleasure/character-love would most naturally -stem- from how it is. Fans like that (um, analytical/meta-dominant) tend to like long plotty fics or gen, and actually generally read very little fanfic because they're not as fannishly creatively focused, I think.
I personally read to 'fall in love with the characters again' (like I sort of did withfuriosity's Unintended!Harry), as I said recently; so it's an emotional motivation, only one that doesn't take emotions for granted-- and it's because I care SO MUCH that I hate taking things for granted, not being able to constantly re-discover the things/characters I love. I think most average shippy character-biased writing disallows this sort of rediscovery because the writer (and most readers) are in such a hurry to have their emotional investment validated-- they care, so they don't want to be hurt as readers, whether or not the characters get hurt, since that depends on one's individual tolerance/enjoyment level of hurt/comfort and tear-jerkers & so on.
Most shippy writing (or character-centric fics -and- meta) therefore interpret their love as implying a need for reassurance (of whatever they actually believe). If they believe things suck, they want to be reassured they suck; if they see the character as sympathetic, they want to be reassured of that too 'cause the narrator or other characters also 'see the light'.
I mean, it's a truism that 'being surprised' is a major hallmark of great writing in general-- except for fanfic. In fanfic, everyone & their sister seems to want 'the trusty old standby' because (I believe) of that pre-existing element of emotional investment. In 'regular' fiction, we don't need warnings as much either, because there are continuously new terms being established-- new names, even if the storyline is familiar. That's probably why pro-fic wank/fandom (where people do argue with the author or get unreasonable) centers on series and stuff.
People (including me, of course) always develop 'ideas' once they become familiar with a subject or characters. When events go against their ideas, even the most reasonable fan gets snippy & unreasonable, in my experience (unless, uh, they're interested without being emotionally involved especially in the character-relationship aspect of things, which doesn't happen that much with more adventure/romance genre ensemble-type works for one reason or another).
I mean, I too read fanfic for 'more of the same', really, to revisit old friends (the character), to immerse myself in a favorite universe-- so it may seem like an oxymoron to want that 'rediscovery' and the usual familiarity -and- a feeling of reawakened love for the world & characters, but I personally think that's just good writing, fanfic or not (if you're talking about writing). If you're talking about shippiness & H/D in particular, it's just that I feel for two boys who, you know, DIDN'T LIKE EACH OTHER (strange, I know!!), and I would like to be able to TELL THAT from more fanfics lately. I mean, I liked Draco when I thought he was a nasty, needy, plotting (somewhat pathetic) little queen, and I loved OoTP!Harry for being angsty and pissed and self-centered and frustrated/clueless about like, everything.
Being around other fans of any of these characters online often makes me feel like... I dunno, if I'm not nice & respectful & admiring of their Speshulness (or the laughable meanitude of their Enemies and Oppressors) all the time, I'm not really a fan-- or maybe I don't -want- to be a fan anymore. Like, you must be one of those anti-Ginny people if you admit she was a bitch to Ron in HBP, for instance; you're not a Draco fan if you don't think he's a brave littletoaster woobie (Imperius what?); you're not a Harry fan if you think he did inexcusable things in OoTP and it wasn't just 'understandable stress, poor baby', etc. Nngh. The day I go 'poor baby' about anyone in the HPverse, JUST SHOOT ME. :/ Except Ron. *cuddles Ron* :P RON HAS NO ENEMIES OR OPPRESSORS BTW, SHUT UP. :P Basically, being in fandom makes me feel like fannishness = partisanship & loyalty, as if you're thusly sorted into a House of some sort. :/ But this is all a tangent.
Anyway, umm, super-dumbass!Harry and obnoxious-prick!Draco -are- sympathetic characters to me, so perhaps I'm just like everyone else in that I'd like to see that sort of view of them in fic to reassure me :P
floorpigeon. I was just saying all this to express my befuddlement that there's one thing I seem to consistently take seriously & yet more shocking, want to put effort into(!) at the same time, and that is Harry/Draco. -.- Not to say the actual writing of it tends to involve effort (though I certainly -try- more than usual for me), but the... well, sort of the total package of writing/thinking/analyzing/angsting that passes for 'mental effort' around here -.-;; Aaaaand all of this is to sort of excuse all the 'normal' people who actually either a) don't care how much effort/thought believable H/D (or any 'unlikely' pairing of that sort) would take; b) actually don't realize/bother to think things through enough to realize 'oh wait, this is a smut/resolution short-cut'. On the other hand, I should be realistic & admit that -everyone- takes short-cuts... possibly there is no such thing as the Ideal Fic where you don't need to take a leap and not ask 'but why??' at least once. And it's true I probably make those leaps without thinking for fics with nearly all other pairings, where I -haven't- analyzed them to death.
Of course, you can always say I overthink it and am too suspicious, like, do I really always have to ask 'but isn't this too convenient?' and 'but what happened to Harry's hetero hard-on? did someone eat it?' and so on. Uh, what I mean is, I hate it when people say 'I really dislike Harry/Draco as a pairing because most fanfics take such-and-such shortcut' because fanfic writers are lazy :P Then again, my priorities are obviously skewed to hell and back :/
Can you feel the sickeningly recursive meta here? I can't talk about Harry/Draco or fanfic or the related reader response without talking about myself, my wishes/dreams/expectations. In some ways, I'm not sure what H/D is about anymore (post-HBP), and it's the rare, rare fic that has anything to say to me that explains anything. I think
furiosity's 'Unintended' sort of does-- and I like the alternate ending 'cause even though it leaves me somewhat unsatisfied, that reflects the dissatisfaction/ennui I generally feel about any portrayal of their future. I can't help but think, well, but it wouldn't be like -that-, but what does it matter if I have no alternative? (And in my 'defense', I'll say that I find short-cuts can be 'negative' as well as 'positive' plot-wise-- meaning, if a character's suddenly gone to a monastery or got married or is tragically dead, it can feel as sudden & unsatisfying in terms of their arc as them suddenly getting over their girlfriend, forgetting they find a Certain Someone really bloody annoying, or maybe just the old standby: OMG HELP ME, I WOKE UP GAY!)I actually feel almost motivated to write a fanfic-to-the-fanfic sequel-type-thing just because I really liked her Harry & thinking what's wrong/right about him is like clinging to a life-raft from a shipwrecked boat. It's like, concentrating on the character alone & not relationship dynamics or future events seems to help; still, as much as I like that Harry, I get no sense of why he cares about Draco; I just get a sense of an empty spot in him that maybe could still be filled (because he's with Ron & Hermione but he is still fundamentally alone by temperament), which is progress. ('Needs Draco' isn't the same as 'cares for', but then the fic doesn't follow through on the 'need', and... anyway.)
What I like about that fic is that it's about the characters (and their issues), so it engages me even if I didn't find any resolution within it. The issues are -there- (though it's still a heavily abridged version!! and I have a few issues with this Harry, too), and it's made me think of how a really good fic would thrive on the openings & little wounds & prickly issues between the characters-- how a really good romance would be because of all this neediness & history & distrust rather than in spite of or in a little sex-bubble away from (like in the fic). What I want to see is something a lot like that, except with them fucking with a growing real awareness of exactly what they're doing & what it means, and in fact doing it because what it means is YES, I WANT THIS without any two-penny 'forgiveness', magical changes of heart or anything but unreasoning emotional connection to smooth the way. I firmly believe Harry doesn't need to either 'forgive' or 'blindly accept' Draco, and neither does he need to ADMIRE or believe in Draco's goodness or not-evilness, even; he just needs to NEED and to SEE (Draco's weaknesses, his strengths, his... well, appeal should be more instinctive and based more on interaction-- meaning, forget 'reasons' to like Draco, that was a mistake of mine)... and then accept. :> It requires growth of character-- obviously the 'old' Harry wouldn't go for this, wasn't capable of this level of perception... but why would you want the 'old' Harry? Character growth, baby.
It's almost like what H/D means to me at any one point reflects where I am in my life. Currently, I've gone beyond angsty/angry sex or the unrequited longing I started with, and am faced with a barren sort of hopeful hopelessness-- just as I began wanting 'One Good Reason' for Harry to want Draco, now I want one good reason for their story to matter besides 'it just does 'cause I'm a basketcase'. I guess I sort of think the difficulties and thorns are the equivalent of roses-- because all those little dents and scars on people are the sources, the itchy places that love soothes and heals. It's sort of like, with HBP, H/D has gotten a lot more complicated... it's not just adolescent groping anymore, and in a way I don't know what it is, but both of them need as much as ever; they're going forward and dealing with more adult things, but there's still that disconnect because all this 'growing up' is happening too fast and too soon. I feel like 'Unintended' sort of pokes at that issue without really exploring it, maybe.
Regardless, I think the reason I'm still so obsessed with the possibilities of H/D (in spite of disliking 98% of all fanfic I read for it) is because it relates to my obsession with hope for the hopeless and because I've never successfully resolved their issues to my own satisfaction, nor seen anyone else do it. Anytime they become 'friends' (usually 'over the War'), Draco's defanged-- more polite, more reasonable, less prickly, less of a little bitch. Maybe that's realistic in some ways (people do get over their adolescent issues at least a little), but it's less of a worthwhile story to me. In real life, I guess, most people with as many issues as H&D have in my head simply break up or never get together-- they give up. And I guess that's why I can't bring myself to--because it's fanfic, I realize I -can- make them face the brick wall again and again, beat their head against it, try to resolve things. I'm sort of like the fatalistically stubborn romantic-- chasing after real love in the most idiotic place imaginable, knowing I can never quite catch it, just because to stop chasing would be most devastating of all.
~~
It was like after HBP, H/D writers were gleeful about Harry's 'obsession' and either dismissive of Draco's apparent move away from his old fixation amidst all the angst or actually glad of it, maybe 'cause it gave more canon credence to the 'Draco is oh-so-cool-and-aloof' thing. It's really been-- somewhat frustrating & alienating to me, shippiness aside, and made me realize just how dependent I am on writing about a theme-- need to prove yourself, changing oneself, resentment tangled up with heavy denial & lust, all that good stuff-- as it applied to Draco specifically as a character, and therefore H/D (because HOW CAN YOU SERIOUSLY WRITE ABOUT DRACO WITHOUT WRITING ABOUT HARRY? :O!). I've never valued H/D alone, 'no matter what the means to the end', and have resented that common view of what shippers in general are like.
Um, I still call myself a shipper 'cause I don't like unhappy endings for them, though I define 'unhappy' as 'without emotional resolution and/or with one of them giving up on finding the above'. And naturally because I seriously think they need to fuck... or was that 'have their issues collide head-on'? I can never decide. :P I sort of compromise with 'there needs to be LOTS OF ANGSTY FUCKING', though perhaps that's my motto for any pairing :> It's just that with H/D there's all this weight of meta whispering in my ear about how -great- it would be, how they could balance each other, how I'd love for there to be a transcendent path of growth and self-realization... god. With Sirius/Remus, at least I know how to enjoy the angsty/fluffy sex properly. ^^;
In any case, it seems like most Draco-centric people tend to be all about viewing canon a certain way or questioning Harry/narrator 'dominance' or values and getting compassion for Draco (whether or not this implies moral justification for them in particular). Likewise, Harry-centric people tend to have other group soft-spots (often concentrating on Harry's ophan status, his ordinariness, his need for affection-- quite a similar fannish search for compassion, really). This style of 'favoring' one's, umm, favored character tends to influence how they like to read or write them in ships; more specifically, I swear to god, I can tell if someone favors or identifies with Harry or Draco by which of them they like to be the bottom. Meaning, the favorite nearly always bottoms (...which I find somewhat disturbing, but HEY, THAT'S JUST ME), though sometimes we have bottom!Harry spontaneously occur, like by retroactive canon-rewrite, brought about by fanon!Draco's mystical hotness powers. Like, generally they'd want the favored character treated 'well' or taken care of somehow, even (especially?) through hurt/comfort, where the character gets hurt a lot & this garners reader sympathy if nothing else. (And I suppose in the sexualized scenario, bottoming is equivalent to 'being taken care of'... which is my own little squick as a female, but anyway.) The other method is more rational than emotional that way, and involves the other character in the ship really admiring them & being smitten silly, suddenly shown all their (existent or newly 'added') positive qualities.
Needless to say, all these methods of 'celebrating' a character one loves are very human and normal, of course, it's just-- I am really not like that. At all. :/
I mean, obviously I have biases & favorite characters & ships, it's just that I don't like things being made nice & easy for like-- uh-- anyone. (And yeah, this is similar to how shippers like to read/write fics where the characters skip all the build-up and stuff.)
This is all inspired by thinking I wouldn't have minded actual -exploration- of the post-HBP dynamic and its unique issues; something that examined the switched roles ironically. I mean, it -is- interesting that things changed; it's just that back when Harry was all 'distant' in OoTP, people said, 'well, that's just how it is now' & accepted it and threw up their hands or quit writing. Yet somehow with Draco it's interesting & not much of a barrier at all, because we take the fanon of it all so much for granted. Sometimes I'm unsure if most shippers still realize that 'Draco used to be the infatuated one, so this is fair turnabout' is PURE FANON. Draco's interest in all things Potter was a platform to spring from, not an excuse for having him carve 'I wanna fuck Harry Potter' on his arm. And don't even get me started on what Harry's behavior in HBP is 'not an excuse for'-- because the answer is 'most things it's been used to excuse'. :/
The whole wanky issue of whether slash can be implicitly tied with canon is drawn from these questions as well, because the shippers' (slash or het) mindset of 'pleasure/shippy-love first'. I don't know what my point is anymore, btw). I think it all relates to the yeay-goggles even the most reasonable fan wears about something-- and I don't want to sound like I'm so removed from that, 'cause I'm not, it's just that like I said, my focus with Draco & H/D isn't to celebrate (though I squee as much as your average fangirl-- just mixed with other responses).
I mean, I'm not an 'analytical' or meta-centric or even angst-centric fan; I'm not 'all about exploring the issues' in the typical way, at the expense of character-love or pleasure in reading or smut, etc. It's just that pesky thing of always remembering 'but this is how it is' coupled with actually shippily believing that smut/pleasure/character-love would most naturally -stem- from how it is. Fans like that (um, analytical/meta-dominant) tend to like long plotty fics or gen, and actually generally read very little fanfic because they're not as fannishly creatively focused, I think.
I personally read to 'fall in love with the characters again' (like I sort of did with
furiosity's Unintended!Harry), as I said recently; so it's an emotional motivation, only one that doesn't take emotions for granted-- and it's because I care SO MUCH that I hate taking things for granted, not being able to constantly re-discover the things/characters I love. I think most average shippy character-biased writing disallows this sort of rediscovery because the writer (and most readers) are in such a hurry to have their emotional investment validated-- they care, so they don't want to be hurt as readers, whether or not the characters get hurt, since that depends on one's individual tolerance/enjoyment level of hurt/comfort and tear-jerkers & so on.Most shippy writing (or character-centric fics -and- meta) therefore interpret their love as implying a need for reassurance (of whatever they actually believe). If they believe things suck, they want to be reassured they suck; if they see the character as sympathetic, they want to be reassured of that too 'cause the narrator or other characters also 'see the light'.
I mean, it's a truism that 'being surprised' is a major hallmark of great writing in general-- except for fanfic. In fanfic, everyone & their sister seems to want 'the trusty old standby' because (I believe) of that pre-existing element of emotional investment. In 'regular' fiction, we don't need warnings as much either, because there are continuously new terms being established-- new names, even if the storyline is familiar. That's probably why pro-fic wank/fandom (where people do argue with the author or get unreasonable) centers on series and stuff.
People (including me, of course) always develop 'ideas' once they become familiar with a subject or characters. When events go against their ideas, even the most reasonable fan gets snippy & unreasonable, in my experience (unless, uh, they're interested without being emotionally involved especially in the character-relationship aspect of things, which doesn't happen that much with more adventure/romance genre ensemble-type works for one reason or another).
I mean, I too read fanfic for 'more of the same', really, to revisit old friends (the character), to immerse myself in a favorite universe-- so it may seem like an oxymoron to want that 'rediscovery' and the usual familiarity -and- a feeling of reawakened love for the world & characters, but I personally think that's just good writing, fanfic or not (if you're talking about writing). If you're talking about shippiness & H/D in particular, it's just that I feel for two boys who, you know, DIDN'T LIKE EACH OTHER (strange, I know!!), and I would like to be able to TELL THAT from more fanfics lately. I mean, I liked Draco when I thought he was a nasty, needy, plotting (somewhat pathetic) little queen, and I loved OoTP!Harry for being angsty and pissed and self-centered and frustrated/clueless about like, everything.
Being around other fans of any of these characters online often makes me feel like... I dunno, if I'm not nice & respectful & admiring of their Speshulness (or the laughable meanitude of their Enemies and Oppressors) all the time, I'm not really a fan-- or maybe I don't -want- to be a fan anymore. Like, you must be one of those anti-Ginny people if you admit she was a bitch to Ron in HBP, for instance; you're not a Draco fan if you don't think he's a brave little
Anyway, umm, super-dumbass!Harry and obnoxious-prick!Draco -are- sympathetic characters to me, so perhaps I'm just like everyone else in that I'd like to see that sort of view of them in fic to reassure me :P
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-08-17 08:17 pm (UTC)I don't think anyone can, though. I mean, I've heard so many reasons for "why H/D" that it's made me wonder how anyone in this fandom can even agree on which characterisations work best. Because there are people who are just like "hee, well, duh. It's hot!" And they can read club!Draco who wears polyester and seduces Harry in a back room (or vice versa with polyester!Harry etc) and think it perfectly IC as long as Draco is snarky and Harry is a bit of a dork. And then there are the hardcore "omg I want to know how/why it would happen given canon!1" type shippers like me who turn up their nose if someone spells "Accio" wrong, and then there's everybody in between. It's almost a spectrum, and everybody's looking for different things. So it's not really surprising that H/D meta is, well, personal in nature (and not just H/D; I'd imagine that anyone with an OTP has personal reasons for that being their OTP). TBH, I don't even know what the hell I want from H/D, either, I just know that nothing I've read or written to date has been it. I used to think it was "us against the world" H/D but then I sat down and thought about it and realised that neither Harry nor Draco are the same (or as interesting) without their attachments to other people -- Hermione, the Weasleys etc on Harry's side and Draco's parents and friends (to a lesser extent) on Draco's side. I think it's what makes H/D appealing in the end, the more you think about it, the more "but"s you come up. D:
I get what you're saying about celebrating a character, too. I used to feel that way about Draco back when I first started writing fic; it was important to me to write him as -- well, not a misunderstood woobie, but definitely stripped of the Harry-lens. I had to create that world in my head (the Draco-world with Slytherins and parents at whatnot) before I could see why on earth Harry would care about him (and vice versa). Then HBP came along and I had to revise my view on Draco vis a vis friendship completely, which led to a bunch of other issues that needed fixed. I actually stayed away from writing anything Draco-centric for ages after that; Unintended is the first reasonably long Draco-centric fic I've written since HBP, and I think that's partially because Harry is so much easier to, hm, "target" after all the obsession in that book, whereas Draco had become simultaneously better-developed (canonically) and also a bit of a dark horse when it comes to his motivation (I can't buy 100% selfish!Draco after he spent a year trying to protect his family. I see no good reason why he couldn't just have skipped town with Dad's money and gone to ground in Aruba, if he was so selfish).
as much as I like that Harry, I get no sense of why he cares about Draco
Yeah, exactly. The fic doesn't convey that, and I sat staring at it for two days before I realised that I couldn't make that happen explicitly and overtly without writing a companion fic from Harry's POV (which I didn't have time for >.>) I know why he cares about Draco, but couldn't convey it because of POV constraints. So yeah -- short cut: it'll appeal to anyone who's willing to make any of these leaps: "of course Harry cares about Draco, pish!" or "of course Harry cares about people who have been set adrift by the war" or "of course Harry cares about people who make him feel good" (I call that Anakin!Harry ever since
no subject
Date: 2006-08-18 12:28 am (UTC)i love it when you meta!rant. you are so cute.
your motto:
"reena, bringing meta to HP fandom since ____."
dude, when did you start? was it when i first started? *can no longer remember*
no subject
Date: 2006-08-19 09:20 pm (UTC)...Since around mid-2002! hahaha, I -think- we got here around the same time, I just stayed... and stayed... and stayed -.- I remember you commenting on my fics when no one else did <333333333 AHHH, THE GOOD OLD DAYS :))
no subject
Date: 2006-08-19 09:57 pm (UTC)heh! That kind of cheers me up. At least I'm not the only one (who both thinks that & ships them) ^^;; But yes, they're totally more interesting with their attachments intact, which is why I started to be interested in Pansy or Ron or Hermione-- it was all about their relationships to Harry or Draco, at first. I've known people who actively cut Ron & Hermione out of Harry's life so he could concentrate on Draco, and it always sounds like a rejection of Harry of a sort... though maybe I'm a bit oversensitive :> I also think 'us against the world' would only work for me once you did a ton of work to make them friends and partners first, rather than just destroying the(ir) world one way or another to achieve that effect ^^;;;
I totally started off exploring Draco's past & his world to make him more of a character in his own right... plus, he's sort of begging for his own story, being so neatly balanced at the other edge of the stick, at least in canon. I guess, for me it seems 'a story for Draco' was always implied and sort of... obvious in canon if 'negative space' type storytelling could be said to be obvious :>
And man, I really know what you mean about 'dark horse' Draco-- that's been why I've had so many difficulties with H/D post-HBP! I just didn't -feel- Draco there anymore, and it wrecked havoc with my stories 'cause I really can't write Draco-obsessed Harry... I mean, I could, but it would be a joke. You're so right about needing alternating pov's in my experience-- 'cause the only fic I've felt remotely satisfied with in the H/Dness sense was because it balanced between them & gave a fuller picture than usual, I think. Still, you can probably achieve a similar depth of effect with really good dialogue (rather than inner monologue or what have you).
If I was more writey at the moment, I definitely would write it-- maybe I still could :> That Harry sort of taunted me-- I can't figure out why he'd come back to Ginny, and especially not Padma/Parvati or whoever, why he'd be so needy/desperate, and what other explanation would there be, though if that was true, he definitely wouldn't be able to stay married once he sees Draco again. But just, the idea of Harry's crush is fascinating to me 'cause I've so rarely been convinced by it in fics yet it actually exists in my head, too. Probably in the old-school way of initial-denial!Harry followed by angst (WHY MALFOY?) and then stubbornness when Draco's inevitably more cautious (something about breaking kneecaps and tying Draco to a bed... oh wait, that's just in my head, ahaha....ha).
no subject
Date: 2006-08-22 04:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-22 04:25 pm (UTC)...though eventually you'll realize I just say the same thing in slightly different ways a lot, especially about H/D >.>;;;;
no subject
Date: 2006-09-06 12:31 am (UTC)