(not another H/D post) oh shoot -.-
Nov. 26th, 2005 01:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkaIf people wonder why I'm such a grump and a spoilsport when it comes to H/D (which they probably don't, but work with me here), a recent comment on Aja's recent pessimistic H/D ficlet is all the answer I think is necessary. In other words, lots of people think H/D is just plain impossible as a pairing, so of course it wouldn't work.
And me being the way I am, as soon as someone says something is impossible, I want to see them proven wrong, because the truth is, when most people say something is impossible, what they really mean is that they think it -shouldn't- happen because they don't want it to. It's generally as simple as that. But even knowing that, I cannot rest with the idea that something I believe in is widely considered either impossible or so difficult as to be pointless. Even worse, there's some people who're open to the idea, but consistently point to the lack of convincingly done fic as evidence that things are hopeless and there's no use bothering with the pairing.
Now-- this critical attitude kind of amuses me because while it comes from the people who don't ship H/D, it seemed to me this sort of attention to detail -should-, theoretically, come from the actual shippers. But in the end, it is the nature of shippers to -believe- and the nature of non-shippers to question and need convincing. It's widely accepted that fanfic is there for people to see what they already know they want to see, while it's left to original fic to convince the reader and make a case for whatever direction the characters take in the story, romantic or not.
Bottom line, and why I stopped reading fanfic for my favorite pairing: I don't buy into that philosophy.
Largely because I tend to read fic for shows that I hadn't seen much of the canon on-- that's probably the dominant factor for why I always look for fanfic to 'sell' a pairing to me, even when and especially when I ship it. In the end, perhaps I'm not quite treating it as fanfic, or at least not as shippy-fic, though my motivation is actually that I'm too much of a believer to tolerate thinking that my belief is unfounded, if that makes sense.
I was talking recently about the fic that comes closest to selling H/D to me in recent history--![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mijan's Eclipse-- and I keep thinking about the idea that I can't necessarily say it's a great H/D fic just because I feel it deals with all their myriad issues.
In the end, I can't stop linking my desire to believe in the so-called impossible with my desire to -know-, to see things truly-- so that I never dismiss something as impossible out of hand with all the ignorance that implies, but neither do I accept anything important to me (and it goes without saying H/D is rather important to me), as an unquestioned axiom, thereby distancing me from the truth. That's what it really means to me-- even knowing it's really impossible to prove anything in matters of emotion or faith. It's just that unquestioned, untested faith feels dead to me-- like it's a -thing-, just a kink, rather than a living reflection of one's entire identity, I guess. Meh.
I suppose it all comes down to the fact that I question because I believe there's an answer in the first place-- not necessarily 'objective', perhaps, but real. Something of humanity that almost anyone can relate to; something that transcends any two particular characters and speaks to the feelings in all of us.
And also... also, I can't help but feel that when you accept love exists, that's not nearly enough, not when you're writing about it or thinking about it-- I feel like it's a constant lifelong process of discovery and rediscovery, of continuous reimagining of what that love really means. I think once you stop doing that, you lose something precious and vital. So yeah, in the practical sense, to me that translates to having needed fics that didn't take any relationship shortcuts or weren't written as wish-fulfillment fantasies because it's easier.
Then as for most of my life, at heart it's simple-- I want to believe, but what I believe in is the truth. Yah, that it's out there, ahahaha. Oh Mulder ♥
And me being the way I am, as soon as someone says something is impossible, I want to see them proven wrong, because the truth is, when most people say something is impossible, what they really mean is that they think it -shouldn't- happen because they don't want it to. It's generally as simple as that. But even knowing that, I cannot rest with the idea that something I believe in is widely considered either impossible or so difficult as to be pointless. Even worse, there's some people who're open to the idea, but consistently point to the lack of convincingly done fic as evidence that things are hopeless and there's no use bothering with the pairing.
Now-- this critical attitude kind of amuses me because while it comes from the people who don't ship H/D, it seemed to me this sort of attention to detail -should-, theoretically, come from the actual shippers. But in the end, it is the nature of shippers to -believe- and the nature of non-shippers to question and need convincing. It's widely accepted that fanfic is there for people to see what they already know they want to see, while it's left to original fic to convince the reader and make a case for whatever direction the characters take in the story, romantic or not.
Bottom line, and why I stopped reading fanfic for my favorite pairing: I don't buy into that philosophy.
Largely because I tend to read fic for shows that I hadn't seen much of the canon on-- that's probably the dominant factor for why I always look for fanfic to 'sell' a pairing to me, even when and especially when I ship it. In the end, perhaps I'm not quite treating it as fanfic, or at least not as shippy-fic, though my motivation is actually that I'm too much of a believer to tolerate thinking that my belief is unfounded, if that makes sense.
I was talking recently about the fic that comes closest to selling H/D to me in recent history--
mijan's Eclipse-- and I keep thinking about the idea that I can't necessarily say it's a great H/D fic just because I feel it deals with all their myriad issues. In the end, I can't stop linking my desire to believe in the so-called impossible with my desire to -know-, to see things truly-- so that I never dismiss something as impossible out of hand with all the ignorance that implies, but neither do I accept anything important to me (and it goes without saying H/D is rather important to me), as an unquestioned axiom, thereby distancing me from the truth. That's what it really means to me-- even knowing it's really impossible to prove anything in matters of emotion or faith. It's just that unquestioned, untested faith feels dead to me-- like it's a -thing-, just a kink, rather than a living reflection of one's entire identity, I guess. Meh.
I suppose it all comes down to the fact that I question because I believe there's an answer in the first place-- not necessarily 'objective', perhaps, but real. Something of humanity that almost anyone can relate to; something that transcends any two particular characters and speaks to the feelings in all of us.
And also... also, I can't help but feel that when you accept love exists, that's not nearly enough, not when you're writing about it or thinking about it-- I feel like it's a constant lifelong process of discovery and rediscovery, of continuous reimagining of what that love really means. I think once you stop doing that, you lose something precious and vital. So yeah, in the practical sense, to me that translates to having needed fics that didn't take any relationship shortcuts or weren't written as wish-fulfillment fantasies because it's easier.
Then as for most of my life, at heart it's simple-- I want to believe, but what I believe in is the truth. Yah, that it's out there, ahahaha. Oh Mulder ♥
