~~ ye olde HBP Draco rant
Jul. 28th, 2005 07:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkaIt's barely been 2 weeks and I'm already getting scared of fandom's new and disturbing twists on canon!Draco (soon to be new-and-not-so-improved fanon!Draco, I'm sure).
Mostly, I'm kind of twitchy at most icons and references to him I see being entirely about crying, and the label emo!Draco and the suchlike... as if sensitive!Draco was basically the only relevant 'message' of the characterization of him this book. This... disturbs me.
Not that his vulnerability isn't important, because obviously that's what makes him sympathetic as a character in the first place. It's just that... I feel like seeing him as some fanon-type stereotypical 'sensitive boy' is missing the point entirely, which upsets me. Because it's not like he wasted away from his Angest And Pane like some overreactive consumptive 'angel'-- he really was under tons of stress. And he dealt well enough to follow through with his plan. And he stood up to Dumbledore-- as well as Snape-- as well as Harry. Rebellious!Draco is so much more interesting than defeated-and-weepy!Draco, but having both at once is just such beautiful ambiguity that I shouldn't be surprised fandom immediately jumped to one or the other conclusion. (He's Black! He's White! No, he's still pink!!)
I haven't been writing anything about him because while I was happy (and really friggin' smug) about his characterization and overall role in HBP, I don't know what there was to -say-; the book just... seemed to say it. It was right there, on the page. I didn't think there was any way to confuse this new deluge of information! Oh, I'm so naive.
Naturally, what I took away wasn't H/D was more obvious than ever on the surface level (not quite that delusional, kthnxbi... though it was more possible in that still-pretty-impossible sort of way), it's that we saw post-OoTP!Draco still mattered, at least to Harry. It's that Draco could get something done right under Harry's nose and Harry wasn't even surprised. It's that Draco may have been a pathetic emo loser just like always(!), but I could sense the rage and determination and that stubborn bravado (like around Dumbledore) that passes for self-confidence with him. Why aren't people remembering that?
Why aren't they remembering how he kept insisting he would do it (kill Dumbledore), not as a sign that he's an evil little cockroach but as a sign that he hadn't crumpled at that point, that he isn't actually just a weepy little wimp? At least he still talks big, even at the end. He never stops hoping. When Harry finds him crying, Draco doesn't crumple further-- he tries to Crucio him; Draco doesn't want your pity, reader, and he doesn't want Harry's. Draco wants you to believe he could fucking own your ass even if he couldn't. Draco wants respect, not pity. So it kind of upsets me that I see this focus on his weakness this book. Finally, I think, this book proved Draco's own sort of strength.
It's not a strength that depends on imperturbability or brute power-- obviously, Draco suffers and fails and flails and has plenty of insecurities about fulfilling a daunting, scary responsibility. He really wants to play with the big boys, but he still just wants to be good enough; he wants to have Snape and Dumbledore and his father (doubt about the Dark Lord, but sure why not) acknowledge his skillz, I think. He was excited about this, according to Narcissa. Draco wanted his chance, his day to shine, and of course he has performance anxiety. Of course. He's never really won before. Some part of him probably thinks he -can't-, but he won't stop trying. He's a resilient little fucker; he has all the strength of his (Slytherin!) ambition to prove himself. He has all the power of his need to be Somebody. Somebody who matters, who chose to follow of his own free will. And of course, unlike Harry, the necessity to grow up and face the music he faced in this book hit him much, much harder than it did Harry. Harry was a -lot- more ready for it. Draco likely could barely keep his neurosis in check long enough to get to the privacy of the bathroom, but his intense desire not to be seen, especially not by Potter, speaks volumes about him not wanting Potter's pity, thank god. That's what I really wanted for Draco post-OoTP, and I got it-- oh, I got it.
This Draco Malfoy may be weak and ultimately ineffectual, but he's not going down easy. His desire to be taken seriously by Potter & Dumbledore & Snape-- by anyone he respects-- is ultimately stronger than his insecurity & fear, I feel, though not stronger than his actual humanity. That voice inside him that is bloody terrified of werewolves, yeah, but also doesn't want his friends-- or even stupid Gryffindors-- to get torn apart by one because of him.
So yeah... it really frikkin' bothers me thinking that fandom is about to concentrate most on Draco's little break-down without the caveat of his immediate flip-flop when Harry entered the scene. That cut-off Crucio wasn't an accident, I think. He didn't hate Potter enough to try torturing him after he Stupefied him, but he hated Potter seeing him like that-- thinking he was weak-- enough to attempt desperate measures of a whole 'nother sort. This... this really makes me happy. Because even if Draco -isn't- hardcore, obviously, and is ultimately a failed bully, the fact that he -tries- is just as important as the reason he fails.
The other thing that seems blatant to me is that the attempt at the Unforgivable isn't an instance of 'bullying' anyway, and it's also vastly different than his waffling around Dumbledore. Even though Harry's much more unstable & likely to hurt him than Dumbledore, Draco's not scared of him, is he. Even with the fight so deeply uneven, Draco still tries; I'm tempted to say that getting back at Potter for humiliating him is still much more of an emotional trigger than his promise about Dumbledore. Draco hates and is completely unreasonable about Harry, not Dumbledore, after all.
Draco wants you to acknowledge he's good enough, and that's so obviously why he stomped on Harry's face in the train and left it at that. Because it was so important to him that he & Potter both knew he could have done more, and didn't. It's that 'could' that made him happy, I think.
Draco could do a lot of things if he threw himself into it. He may drive himself into a nervous frenzy, but he wouldn't stop until the end. And at that point-- well, that was a choice, wasn't it. Small and ultimately of questionable relevance to the final outcome of things, but a choice all the same, and it's all Draco's.
~~
Disclaimer of sorts: I know I um, wrote this of my own free will, because I couldn't help it (and no, I haven't actually been reading Draco meta lately), but man. I'm scared this all sounded largely like rhetoric and projection, and I am really, really burnt out on this subject, and a huge part of me doesn't wanna talk about this at all. Mostly, it's only here as an attempt to organize my thoughts with the purposes of my own fic-writing, if anything. Just sayin'.
Mostly, I'm kind of twitchy at most icons and references to him I see being entirely about crying, and the label emo!Draco and the suchlike... as if sensitive!Draco was basically the only relevant 'message' of the characterization of him this book. This... disturbs me.
Not that his vulnerability isn't important, because obviously that's what makes him sympathetic as a character in the first place. It's just that... I feel like seeing him as some fanon-type stereotypical 'sensitive boy' is missing the point entirely, which upsets me. Because it's not like he wasted away from his Angest And Pane like some overreactive consumptive 'angel'-- he really was under tons of stress. And he dealt well enough to follow through with his plan. And he stood up to Dumbledore-- as well as Snape-- as well as Harry. Rebellious!Draco is so much more interesting than defeated-and-weepy!Draco, but having both at once is just such beautiful ambiguity that I shouldn't be surprised fandom immediately jumped to one or the other conclusion. (He's Black! He's White! No, he's still pink!!)
I haven't been writing anything about him because while I was happy (and really friggin' smug) about his characterization and overall role in HBP, I don't know what there was to -say-; the book just... seemed to say it. It was right there, on the page. I didn't think there was any way to confuse this new deluge of information! Oh, I'm so naive.
Naturally, what I took away wasn't H/D was more obvious than ever on the surface level (not quite that delusional, kthnxbi... though it was more possible in that still-pretty-impossible sort of way), it's that we saw post-OoTP!Draco still mattered, at least to Harry. It's that Draco could get something done right under Harry's nose and Harry wasn't even surprised. It's that Draco may have been a pathetic emo loser just like always(!), but I could sense the rage and determination and that stubborn bravado (like around Dumbledore) that passes for self-confidence with him. Why aren't people remembering that?
Why aren't they remembering how he kept insisting he would do it (kill Dumbledore), not as a sign that he's an evil little cockroach but as a sign that he hadn't crumpled at that point, that he isn't actually just a weepy little wimp? At least he still talks big, even at the end. He never stops hoping. When Harry finds him crying, Draco doesn't crumple further-- he tries to Crucio him; Draco doesn't want your pity, reader, and he doesn't want Harry's. Draco wants you to believe he could fucking own your ass even if he couldn't. Draco wants respect, not pity. So it kind of upsets me that I see this focus on his weakness this book. Finally, I think, this book proved Draco's own sort of strength.
It's not a strength that depends on imperturbability or brute power-- obviously, Draco suffers and fails and flails and has plenty of insecurities about fulfilling a daunting, scary responsibility. He really wants to play with the big boys, but he still just wants to be good enough; he wants to have Snape and Dumbledore and his father (doubt about the Dark Lord, but sure why not) acknowledge his skillz, I think. He was excited about this, according to Narcissa. Draco wanted his chance, his day to shine, and of course he has performance anxiety. Of course. He's never really won before. Some part of him probably thinks he -can't-, but he won't stop trying. He's a resilient little fucker; he has all the strength of his (Slytherin!) ambition to prove himself. He has all the power of his need to be Somebody. Somebody who matters, who chose to follow of his own free will. And of course, unlike Harry, the necessity to grow up and face the music he faced in this book hit him much, much harder than it did Harry. Harry was a -lot- more ready for it. Draco likely could barely keep his neurosis in check long enough to get to the privacy of the bathroom, but his intense desire not to be seen, especially not by Potter, speaks volumes about him not wanting Potter's pity, thank god. That's what I really wanted for Draco post-OoTP, and I got it-- oh, I got it.
This Draco Malfoy may be weak and ultimately ineffectual, but he's not going down easy. His desire to be taken seriously by Potter & Dumbledore & Snape-- by anyone he respects-- is ultimately stronger than his insecurity & fear, I feel, though not stronger than his actual humanity. That voice inside him that is bloody terrified of werewolves, yeah, but also doesn't want his friends-- or even stupid Gryffindors-- to get torn apart by one because of him.
So yeah... it really frikkin' bothers me thinking that fandom is about to concentrate most on Draco's little break-down without the caveat of his immediate flip-flop when Harry entered the scene. That cut-off Crucio wasn't an accident, I think. He didn't hate Potter enough to try torturing him after he Stupefied him, but he hated Potter seeing him like that-- thinking he was weak-- enough to attempt desperate measures of a whole 'nother sort. This... this really makes me happy. Because even if Draco -isn't- hardcore, obviously, and is ultimately a failed bully, the fact that he -tries- is just as important as the reason he fails.
The other thing that seems blatant to me is that the attempt at the Unforgivable isn't an instance of 'bullying' anyway, and it's also vastly different than his waffling around Dumbledore. Even though Harry's much more unstable & likely to hurt him than Dumbledore, Draco's not scared of him, is he. Even with the fight so deeply uneven, Draco still tries; I'm tempted to say that getting back at Potter for humiliating him is still much more of an emotional trigger than his promise about Dumbledore. Draco hates and is completely unreasonable about Harry, not Dumbledore, after all.
Draco wants you to acknowledge he's good enough, and that's so obviously why he stomped on Harry's face in the train and left it at that. Because it was so important to him that he & Potter both knew he could have done more, and didn't. It's that 'could' that made him happy, I think.
Draco could do a lot of things if he threw himself into it. He may drive himself into a nervous frenzy, but he wouldn't stop until the end. And at that point-- well, that was a choice, wasn't it. Small and ultimately of questionable relevance to the final outcome of things, but a choice all the same, and it's all Draco's.
~~
Disclaimer of sorts: I know I um, wrote this of my own free will, because I couldn't help it (and no, I haven't actually been reading Draco meta lately), but man. I'm scared this all sounded largely like rhetoric and projection, and I am really, really burnt out on this subject, and a huge part of me doesn't wanna talk about this at all. Mostly, it's only here as an attempt to organize my thoughts with the purposes of my own fic-writing, if anything. Just sayin'.
