[Bitter? Nah. I'm well-aged!]

[reenka]

The more I stick around, the more I feel like slash fandom in particular is something like the cure for canon-love, if by 'canon' you're meaning the general work rather than some specialized obsessive corner. And it's funny, 'cause I wouldn't have thought I loved the HP canon enough for this sense of protectiveness to kick in... but the wankiness has sort of swept me under at this point.
    If you love canon more than fanon, it almost seems counterproductive to be in a fandom for it, because the most intelligent responses tend to also be the most blatantly critical ones, with the rest being sort of a noisy background of squee. Possibly this is what you get for hanging out around slashers rather than the folks at HP for Grownups, I admit. Not that I want to talk HP plot theory or be all grownup, either. It's a conundrum.

I think currently, my only consistent sources for joy in fandom (given that most fanfic for my pairing makes me gnash my teeth most of the time) have been the fanartists-- stuff like tetherhooks' HBP art review. Man. What would I do without the happiness that is fanart? Probably I'd just read some more of those awkwardly written, badly-characterized YA fantasy books.


You know what I've realized? Especially after reading Amanuensis' (spoilery) essay on romance in HP-- it struck me that while I agree with her point that they're largely plot-driven, not character or romance-driven books overall, and I should be dissatisfied with that since my primary interests are all about character (and often romance), I'm not. Possibly because I'm lucky, and the characters to get the most development automatically become my favorites (thus I'm easily drawn to whatever character is at the story's focus is at the moment, and always most invested in Harry himself.) In other words, because I don't tend to insist on which characters get developed, or how, as long as I can have something to focus my interest on. It doesn't have to be what I expected to like; it doesn't have to involve my favorite character. In fact, I'm all the more pleased if it's a surprise.

    I'm not unhappy with the books at all, really, because it's not like I expected anything from them, either in the plot or characterization department (or, I tried not to). I do read for Harry & for character development on various other fronts (I'm not too picky), but most of all I read for pleasure, not really fanon-fodder or analysis-fodder or any of that. I know the books aren't that great in this-and-that way. I just enjoy them anyway, and largely find that focusing on their shortcomings only upsets me & adds nothing to my life.

    In the end, I do think this all comes down to the reader's level of expectation-- at least, the level of disappointment or surprise is directly correlated to one's level of pre-existing expectation, and I suppose it's in the nature of fannishness to expect certain things from the canon text, maybe. Though I actually expect a lot more from fanfic, since I'm usually (...usually) asked to make more of a jump in belief, with less thorough context. I think this mad pickiness with fanon is what seems to identify me as a canon-leaning fan, though I actually am more invested in my personal fanon than canon. It's all pretty... weird, I think. But almost all the wank I see has to do with crushed/twisted expectations, to the point where I'm starting to wonder if having any (and thus caring in the first place-- or is that 'projecting' rather than 'caring'?) is like, the original error (though it seems like a basic human tendency).

I expected things to make sense, for the characters to follow some sort of internal logic I can grab on to, and on a return to the same world that follows the same general rules. And, of course, I did get that much, though I follow the books' logic rather than necessarily my own in saying that. And that's what allows me my contentment, I believe-- not necessarily an active agreement with the author (and definitely not some wanky belief that Author is God), but rather a willingness to read for pleasure; to allow the story to tell itself to me without undue cross-examination on my part. I question things that remain unresolved or ambiguous, and accept the things that are laid down, inelegantly perhaps but in line with the general arc of development, because it's easier that way. Because it allows the rest of the story to continue. JKR is actually pretty self-consistent in the meta sense, it seems to me.

But my point is really about fandom: and that is that fandom-style analysis drains my love for canon like nothing else can. In fact, if I didn't love fanon (mostly just one aspect at this point, really, that being H/D), I'd leave fandom without a second thought, because it's like the canon-love killer, I swear. It's great for the fanon fan, really kind of depressing for the canon fan. Since I'm both at different points, mostly it just makes me schizoid.
    Maybe it's just the meta circles I hang about in, but almost every nitpicky or bashing or negative post makes me more and more 'serious', less and less -wanting- to write -or- care about these characters, less and less enthused.
~~

So. I'd really appreciate it if you commented with something-- anything-- you really loved about any of the books, especially the latest one, that doesn't deal with your pet character/pairing/theme, though that stipulation isn't necessary. Lemme feel some love :((

Comments

from yr secret fangirl

[jeaneis.livejournal.com]

Please don't stop writing fanfic. I'm one of your many fangirls! I do feel the same way that fanon did sometimes kill the joy of canon. I am not a romantic person. I hate romantic movies, let alone romantic novels. The only romance stuff I will digest is slash fanfics and doujinshi. The reason I like Harry Potter (canon) was not because there were some romantic elements in the books; I like it because of the plots. The H/G stuff in book 6 vexed me (though only a little) not because I'm a H/D fan, but I don't want to read about how Harry fell in love. But like I said, it was not what I was looking for from JK's series. I couldn't care less if Harry marries the charactor I hate most in the book. I love canon for the stories, and fanon for the romance tales. I love fanon for the slasher's creative imagination of how Harry and Draco could end up being in love with each other. So yes, I believe I can love both Canon and Fanon as much at the same time, even if they sail to an opposite direction.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

Well, you know I agree with that canon-thing.
And you read my lil review, so erm, you already know what I liked despite the ... other stuff, i.e. The funny bits that are not connected with any character or pairing, the grey-areas in most characters, Harry being human and growing up, the twins being businessmen and still their unique selves.
I kinda rely on you to make me want to read the final book, btw ;)

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

it struck me that while I agree with her point that they're plot-driven

Yeah, except HBP failed in this regard as well. So what are we left with? H/d pr0n, that's what!

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

... As usual, I can count on your for the sunshine & reassurance :>
♥

I was actually pretty uh, satisfied with the H/D in canon this time around. I'm like... fanfic would just ruin my buzz. Except Maya's, but then. That's Maya :>

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

Oh, um, what did I love. Well, Draco, obviously. I loved the whole idea of Hogwarts. I loved the idea of magical objects of the kind kept by the Ministry deep in their chambers, such as Time Turners and brains-inna-vat. I love animagery. I love Lupin because he's old and suffering and gay and wonderful and so messed up now because of Greyback. I love Hagrid and Aragog. I was very sad when Aragog died.

I kind of loved Narcissa. I was divided though. I loved the fact that Harry cheated at potions XD. I love love love the Twins in a very special and unhealthy way. I love Fleur. Fleur was fucking awesome Mcawesomepants in HBP. I therefore love Bill/Fleur. I love the fact Harry was locked in a cupboard when he was younger, and his weirdo relatives, in a weird and twisted fic-psychosis-potential kind of way, for the gay subtext same reason I will always have a soft-spot for the X-men universe, even though it's cheesy and I really can't stand the comics. I loved it when Sirius died. I love Umbridge and Rita Skeeter. I loved the finale of GoF, from that instant they touch the Goblet. I loved Harry in GoF and OotP. I loved Voldemort/Tom before HBP. But, like Narcissa, it was sullied.

I love James/Lily in the same way I love Bill/Fleur. I love the Marauders. I loved Viktor. I love Quidditch. I love some of these things for what they are, and some of them for their fandom-potential, and some of them for both.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Y'know, I've heard so many complaints about HBP!Harry by now (how he didn't mourn for Sirius & wasn't emotional enough & that invalidates his whole character) that... you saying 'human' makes me happy that I didn't imagine it, that yeah, the rest of the book made up for him not grieving enough, and I can suspend my disbelief & have faith in Harry's power of denial & repression :> And yeay for the grey areas & things like the Room for forgotten objects, Tom's trophies, Cissy, Myrtle, and the zombies in the lake. Hahah though I dunno how I would make anyone wanna read the next book except through sheer blind unfounded optimism...? I've got some of that, I guess :>

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

Do you read Mira's? I adore Mira's H/D. Maya's Draco is way too fanon for me to get into, and her Harry's all like... meh. But I dig Mira's.

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

Oh, and finally, I loved HBP!Ron. Which is weird, cos usually I can't stand him. But he was cool in HBP. Probably because he was the most IC out of everyone.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

Well, you know I am mostly for Rowling, but I don't blame Harry for the lack of grief - there was none in anyone. And I don't have any optimism anyway, so it would have to be little details that might make me read the final book. I mean, gosh and all, I cannot NOT read it but as it's all about Snape I don't know how to either. So I'll have to cling to WonWon and maybe McGonegal?

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I thought the first chapter of Maya's new fic was quite canon-feeling, though with her UL!Draco, it's more that I find him adorable than finding him IC, per se. I want to love Draco, and I simply cannot love a self-possessed omg-icy-cool-Slytherin no matter what; there were some writers that came close in a sense (ethrosdemon, circe_tigana, hackthis), but in those cases the pretty stylistic elements and the Slytherin pov drew me in. From Harry's pov, ice-prince!Draco sort of makes me want to drill holes in my head. Maya's is to silly to be an ice-prince-- too poncey, too endearing, too... I dunno, shiny.

I can't even think of anyone's Draco I really liked who's only written in the last 2 years (even Circe's is sort of... lukewarm to me). Um. I'm trying to think. I really like pir8fancier's Draco, 'cause he's such an obsessive (compulsive) doof. I need my Draco clutchy and needy and Harry's, or really kick-ass. And not kick-ass from Harry's pov, either. Even in HBP canon, fine, Harry's obsessed, but he doesn't think Malfoy's kick-ass. Mrar.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I thought one could sort of read grief into Remus...? He -was- more worn and haggard. And... well, I think the way he -avoided- all mention of Sirius & broke down at Dumbledore's funeral (for Harry), speaks for itself also.
Hahah, yeah, I can only imagine you wouldn't love HBP if you didn't love the feast of Draco, Tom & Snape :D And WonWon. Omg, how much do I love & adore WonWon?? :D :D And/or Ronil Weezlib :D :D

I do believe book 7 will be all about the triolove, however :D WonWon & Scarheard & Bookworm girl save the day >:D

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

<3<3WonWon<3<3<3
It sort of hurts, how much I love him, heheh. The little Weasley that could. Oh WonWon. *heart-flutter* :D
Though I really do think Hermione was having a similar emotional crisis that Harry had the last year. Everyone has... times ^^;;

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

Yeah, I like your optimistic reading of Remus :S

Don't laugh, it's horrible for me! No, really, Snape hurts.
But yes, Ronil Weezlib as Harry's secret name *lol*

Of course, it's like Buffy in that respect.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Aragog!! Yeah, I actually have some affection for Aragog and his man-eating ways.
I still don't think Harry -cheated- so much as... uh, utilized his resources...? I kept thinking the regular textbooks should've been written that way, and it's not his fault they weren't. I also kept thinking Harry really does admire Snape, potentially, & does have a gift for potions (of all things!) 'cause he did follow those directions well & enthusiastically.

Awww, James/Lily love >:D :D :D I have an odd yet predictable fondness for J/L. It's exactly my favorite sort of het pairing, with the sassy independent girl and the badass arrogant guy with 'sekrit depths' who's obsessed with her or whatever. Hee. And! QUIDDITCH!
...Mmm, Quidditch makes me happy.
And fanon lets Quidditch make me happy in my pants :>

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

Ohhhh! I am totally in love with the Forbidden Forest. Forgot to mention that one. See, I have these theories about all the magical shit around Hogwarts, which are probably so-totally-not-canon it makes me gimpy, but I don't care, because the Forbidden Forest is cool and so is Hoggie-Hoggie-Hogwarts. Shizzle.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I think I'm masochistic in that I like the characters that hurt, it kinda makes 'em interesting :>
Thankfully, there was so little of Remus, I could pretty much read anything I wanted into him. Poor guy, all broken-hearted and forced underground with 'real' werewolves and attacked by odd, misplaced propositions from a moony-eyed girl. Remus had angst this year. Sort of like OoTP!Harry, except Remus gets quieter ^^;;

See, now I'm all happy 'cause I totally ship Willow/Xander after the end of season 6. I'm just sappy like that :>

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

'cause he's such an obsessive (compulsive) doof.

Ahh, so true. I like humourous ones better than I like serious ones, I think. Like stellabelle's, cos he's stupid and funny and hot.

I need my Draco clutchy and needy and Harry's, or really kick-ass.

XD Haha omg You might as well stick a pair of boobs you your Draco and call him "princess", which I am sure Harry calls him anyway when nobody is around XD XD. I am more amused by that idea than I should be. Then again, I live with a princess (who yes, we do call princess, and who gets called princess at his work, and who's also a Gemini, funnily enough, and who also fights worst with the Leo in the house, FUNNILY ENOUGH) so maybe I'm projecting. Oh gods. I really should stop comparing my brother to Draco. It's disturbing and weird how alike they are.

Even in HBP canon, fine, Harry's obsessed, but he doesn't think Malfoy's kick-ass.

He might not be kick-ass, BUT HE STILL FOOLED THE GOLDENBOY WITH HIS CLOSETS! MWUAHAHAHA TEH WIN!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

Misunderstanding. I meant Snape annoys me. Not that he is hurting.

So Remus only hitched up with Tonks to try to forget.
Until that rock star will come along in the next book.

I should have known, pah!

Re: from yr secret fangirl

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Hi! I probably can't stop writing on purpose-- ideas do keep coming to me, though much slower & farther between than they used to.
The thing about me is that I love canon mostly for the characters, and wanna see those characters reflected faithfully in fanfic (which is why most fic frustrates me), but yeah-- fanon & canon do serve different functions & both have their place. It's just that fandom itself is... well, so obsessive & critical and biased a lot of times that I can't keep up the separation and end up just wanting to escape all the negativity ^^;;

But then, Harry & Draco aren't quite done with me yet :>

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, I knew you meant annoying :> I meant that characters that -hurt me- sort of interest me, 'cause at least they don't bore me. I'm like that with people, too :))

And Remus totally just wanted to forget!! He seemed too... bleh & depressed to be really interested, and then he just gave in. It wasn't like we had any clue he was enthusiastic. Remus is still gay. *nodnod* :D

I am sekritly always enjoying whatever scraps of romance I get, no matter how silly or cheesy or unlikely. This is my not-so-hidden shame :))

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I love stellabelle's too, though I like 'em bestest when they're slightly angsty while being snarky/silly :D I want it all!! Silvia did that really well... *nostalgic sigh*

I MY HARRY TOTALLY DOES CALL HIM PRINCESS, AHAHAH. AND LIKE HIM CROSS-DRESSING :)) :))
...So now I am wondering if you're actually supporting my ickle needy!subby!Draco kink there :)) And wondering if your brother is gay ^^;;;

Hahaha, yeah, I like Draco to win, especially in canon. That was so... YES :D :D :D He was still pathetic even though he did, which is what made me happy & no fanfic really delivered. It was at that point among others that I was like, H/D FANFICS LOSE, JKR WINS!!1 -.-

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

Heh, see, that's why you'll have to drag me into the final book, because ... Snape annoyed me because he bored me (because I never fell for it yaddayadda) while Draco at least didn't bore me.
And yes, so unenthusiastic but even I - who used to read old plays for brief mentions of love and romance you wouldn't believe it oh boy - don't see him ditching her for RAB.

[cercaluna.livejournal.com]

Have you read the first few books yet? :D :D But anyway, I am craving genfic more than anything else right now, which is sort of unique to HP with me, somehow. Like, when I think about writing/reading fanfiction for obscure fandoms (made up of me), it's typically to satisfy some idea about a pairing, or more rarely, character development. But with HP, you can write a whole fic on like, the Knight Bus, or like, the Weird Sisters, and it just carries so much more potential, it seems to me?

Things I love: Harry's first birthday cake, how much he loves Hedwig, Dudley, Platform 9 and 3/4, Ron trying to turn his rat yellow, that Hermione's parents are dentists, Draco Malfoy (entirely un-H/D-related), the Sorting Hat, Peeves, McGonagall's house pride, the way she says, "Have a biscuit, Potter," Oliver Wood's Quidditch fanaticism, the first time Harry flies, the idea of a Remembrall, Lockhart, the fact that Hermione has a crush on Lockhart, Remus Lupin in all his past and present and future, the way Harry and Ron and Hermione work together at the end of PS/SS (I hope there are more puzzles like that in Book 7! Instead of just swashbuckling heroics!), the Mirror of Erised, Fawkes, that Dumbledore sends his champion Fawkes and the Sorting Hat, the idea of the enormous hourglasses of points, S.P.E.W., Azkaban, Mr. Weasley's flying car, The Burrow, Mrs. Weasley's kitchen magic, the Trio itself (un-threesome-ly), Ron's dress robes, Viktor Krum, the way JKR writes accents like Fleur's and Hagrid's, Charlie Weasley, Percy Weasley, okay really all the Weasleys, the Weasley family dynamic, Mrs. Weasley's clock, Floo powder, Harry's accidental Knockturn Alley visit, Moaning Myrtle (both things which reappeared, hooray), Aberforth Dumbledore, Cedric Diggory, the Potterstinks buttons, Ron and Harry's fight, that Ginny goes to the Yule Ball with Neville despite Harry asking her afterwards, Harry's dancing, Dumbledore's love of socks and knitting and sweets, the Quidditch World Cup, Quidditch, the way Harry almost jumps because of the Veelas, Nearly-Headless Nick, Potions class, Professor McGonagall, the way Professor Flitwick gives Harry a box of squeaking mice to show his pleasure at the Quibbler article, how Ginny coughs like Umbridge in the Hog's Head, Aberforth Dumbledore, the fact that they study love in the Department of Mysteries, Hermione and Hogwarts A History, the House of Black, the Hogwarts Express and how Draco always finds the Trio to mock them, Ron being a Prefect, Mrs. Weasley's Boggart, Mad-Eye Moody and his elementary wand safety, Thestrals, Luna Luna Luna, Rita Skeeter, Neville's Mimbulus whatever, Neville and his mum and the gum wrappers, Neville's grandmother's hat, the DA, "I must not tell lies," the way Harry punches Draco with the Snitch still in his fist, Occlumency, Fred and George's fireworks, Lee Jordan's Quidditch commentary (and Luna's!), Snape's Worst Memory, Sir Cadogan, Phineas Nigellus, magical portraits altogether, photographs that move, Colin Creevey, the giant squid, Portkeys, Ernie Macmillan, Cho Chang, how Harry feels awkward about his arms hanging at his sides, how Cho is so weepy but is totally a Quidditch dork, Hermione's SNEAK spell, the fake Galleons, the Room of Requirement, Hermione's knitting, the fact that Dobby takes all the hats, how Harry draws a line between him and his father, the twins leaving Hogwarts, Peeves saluting them, the phone booth to get into the Ministry, the shop window to get into St. Mungo's, the portrait who insults Ron at St. Mungo's, Sirius's mother's portrait, I can't stop myself from going on! I haven't even gotten to HBP yet. And I could talk about OotP for ages. I will stop for now.

I have an awful memory, so I probably don't remember reading all the fic I have, but the closest Draco to the canon Draco I love will always be potterstinks. <3.

[cercaluna.livejournal.com]

I can't help it: the way JKR uses silkily to describe Snape's voice all the time, Roonil Wazlib and Harry's cheekiness, Hermione Confunding McLaggen, Slughorn's little dinners, Slughorn's ruse when Dumbledore and Harry visit, the Put-Outer (is that what it's called?), McGonagall's Animagus, the fact that Harry doesn't pack for Dumbledore, the wineglasses, "Remember my last!", Harry being made Quidditch captain, Katie Bell, the way Harry tells Katie of course she's on the team, the fact that Cho flees into her compartment after seeing Harry on the train, Harry asking Luna to the party, Harry's yellow eyebrow, Won-Won, Ron's "I'm tall," Hermione's insistence the Prince doesn't have to be male, all the hidden items in the Room of Requirement, TOM RIDDLE, Tom Riddle and the ocean, Tom Riddle and the orphanage, Tom Riddle and Dumbledore, Tom Riddle and his box of stolen objects, Tom Riddle and his handsomeness, Tom Riddle and his wanting to stay at Hogwarts, the fact that he rearranged his name to get Lord Voldemort (it makes me laugh), Kreacher, Hermione giving Kreacher a quilt, Narcissa "Cissy" Malfoy, Bellatrix, the fact that Lucius doesn't escape from Azkaban with the rest of the DEs even though nearly every post-OotP fic predicted they would, Gringotts, Mollywobbles, Arthur and his airplanes, how Harry sees their Gringotts vault that one time and feels badly, Harry thinking Ginny etc. is talking about Mrs. Weasley and feeling defensive, the way JKR's characters are way creepier than I could have handled as a really young child (Fenrir Greyback? The Inferi?), the Dementors breeding, Rufus Scrimgeour, Harry's fist gesture, "I told him I was," Harry having to force Dumbledore to drink, "I'm with you," Madam Rosmerta, all the Zacharias Smith hate, Dumbledore's suit, Pensieves, Regulus, the Hogwarts founders, how Draco whoops for joy when he gets the cabinet to work, Professor Trelawny and her sherry, the fact that Draco is better than Harry at Occlumency, Harry's trepidation at Ron calling Lavender Lav-Lav, Romilda Vane and Harry's fangirls, "I know, I can love!" and how he wants to say, "Big deal!", Lily being good at Potions, Harry's Invisibility Cloak, Slughorn's love for crystallized pineapple, his Aragog eulogy, Fang, Pureblood incest, U-No-Poo, the Ministry's special cars, the Mermish singing at Dumbledore's funeral, the centaurs paying him tribute, the fact that Umbridge is there, the fact that Luna narrated the last Quidditch match ever, Harry's and Draco's waning interest in Quidditch, the Fat Lady being irritable and telling him the password's changed when it hasn't, Abstinence, Weasley jumpers, the garden gnomes, Celestina Warbeck, Fleur's mockery of it, Fleur, the last line of HBP ending with Ron and Hermione. And more! Etc.

[cercaluna.livejournal.com]

I'm totally spamming you. Sorry. I wanted to add! What I meant about potterstinks was that I still think he would be closer to canon if we saw him from any perspective other than his own (because Draco wouldn't write about himself as totally whiny, pale and pathetic) and if Harry didn't have growing interest in him, er? The more I think about it, he isn't really close at all, but in some ways, so.

It is a little sad, but I don't think I can ever love canon Harry as much as I love NA Harry, though? Even though NA Harry is not canon for me. It just taps into the side of Harry that makes me go all melty, even though I love canon Harry for his other sides (like potter_mouth, ahaha), too. *makes no sense*